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Clips from Archer - Archer: 1999 -- Happy Borthday (S10E10)

"[screaming]"
Archer
"[ship thrusters humming]"
Archer
"MALORY: [sighs] Well, this is another fine mess."
Archer
"Thanks to your idiot son."
Archer
"You're as much to blame as he is."
Archer
"Wha... How?"
Archer
"-Exactly. -Wait, what?"
Archer
"-You heard her! -Don't yell at her!"
Archer
"-Don't yell at her! -Don't yell at him!"
Archer
"-What are you doing? -I don't know!"
Archer
"Guys, come on!"
Archer
"I think we could all benefit from not yelling!"
Archer
"The only thing you'd benefit from is an EMP."
Archer
"[gasps] Not even as a joke."
Archer
"BARRY: Do I look like I'm joking?"
Archer
"I mean, honestly, it's hard to tell with you,"
Archer
"what with that robot face."
Archer
"[laughs] Well, I'm not joking."
Archer
"I actually didn't think you were."
Archer
"Because, meatbag, I don't think it's funny"
Archer
"when people steal from me."
Archer
"What... Is that what this is about?"
Archer
"What'd you think it was about?"
Archer
"Again, hard to tell with you because of your..."
Archer
"Say "robot face" again, shitlick."
Archer
"-...delivery? -Oh."
Archer
"You're gonna talk to me about delivery,"
Archer
"after you stole my cargo?"
Archer
"I didn't steal it. I still have it."
Archer
"-You... Where is it? -On the Seamus."
Archer
"I was bringing it to you. Why do you think I'm here?"
Archer
"Wha... Because I captured you?"
Archer
"-Potato, pobobot. -What?"
Archer
"Look, let me go back to the ship, I'll get the thing,"
Archer
"bring it back here, and everything's space-jake."
Archer
"-Wow. -Yeah."
Archer
"You must think I'm pretty stupid."
Archer
"-Eh. -How 'bout you tell me where it is?"
Archer
"-In the safe. -Let me finish."
Archer
"I send a couple of my guys to go get it, and..."
Archer
"-[soft chuckle] Well, send a couple you don't like, -Let me..."
Archer
"because if they punch in the wrong combination,"
Archer
"they're gonna be eatinga 20-kiloton burrito for lunch."
Archer
"-BOTH: Huh? -It's got a nuclear self-destruct."
Archer
"Okay, so then how 'bout you tell me the right combination?"
Archer
"Well, because I feel like if I did,"
Archer
"I'd no longer be negotiating from a position of power."
Archer
"You think you're in a position of power?"
Archer
"Eh..."
Archer
"M'kay. Well, I'm gonna go do this thing with..."
Archer
"well, toyour friends."
Archer
"Tell 'em hey."
Archer
"And I'm while I'm gone,"
Archer
"I'd really like you to give some thought to"
Archer
"telling me the combination."
Archer
"I feel like I have thought about it."
Archer
"Well, but you haven't met my buddy..."
Archer
"[heavy mechanical clunking]"
Archer
"...Funbeak."
Archer
"[screeches]"
Archer
"Jesus Hannibal Christ."
Archer
"Right? [chuckles]"
Archer
"Say hello, Funbeak."
Archer
"[voice glitching]: Hello, Fun-un-unbeak."
Archer
"-[screeches] -[chuckles]"
Archer
"You kook."
Archer
"[electricity clicking]"
Archer
"[Archer theme playing]"
Archer
"Okay, I'm looking around and I'm seeing"
Archer
"some pretty mopey faces."
Archer
"Yeah, 'cause you're selling us into slavery"
Archer
"down in the spek mines."
Archer
"-Wait, what? -Well, not all of you."
Archer
"-Come again? -PAM: Space phrasing."
Archer
"Well, thanks to your buddy Bort,"
Archer
"one of you has a chance to go free."
Archer
"And, hell, I'll even throw in your ship."
Archer
"-Come on. -Uh... -That is our ship."
Archer
"First of all, that's my ship."
Archer
"-Halfyours. -Shut up. And..."
Archer
"And who knows? Maybe you'll win it back."
Archer
"-Win it back how? -Oh, man."
Archer
"I was hoping you'd ask that,"
Archer
"because this sets up my big reveal."
Archer
"-♪ Bum-bum-baa!♪ Ta-da! -[door whooshes open]"
Archer
"-PAM: Ah! -LANA: Jesus Space Christ. -CYRIL: Uh... okay."
Archer
"[crowd cheering]"
Archer
"♪"
Archer
"[roars]"
Archer
"[grunting]"
Archer
"PAM: Holy shit!"
Archer
"It's that dickhead Bort."
Archer
"Hey. Hey, guys."
Archer
"Whoever doesn't die, let's hang out after."
Archer
"[crowd exclaims]"
Archer
"[grunts]"
Archer
"[crowd cheering]"
Archer
"[chuckles] Pretty sweet reveal, huh?"
Archer
"Gladiator fights? Are you serious?"
Archer
"Maybe it is my delivery."
Archer
"Yeah, Bort rented y'all for his birthday party."
Archer
"-Rented? -Unless you die."
Archer
"Well, then he's buying you."
Archer
"Wait, have we done this before?"
Archer
"-Somebody has. -Right? [soft laugh]"
Archer
"Doesn't matter. Okay, so"
Archer
"while I go check in on Archer's torture sesh,"
Archer
"y'all decide who's gonna fight who."
Archer
"Actually, it's "whom.""
Archer
"I said "whom.""
Archer
"Or not. I don't know."
Archer
"Bee-boo-boop."
Archer
"Hey, what do you guys think about my delivery?"
Archer
"Well, now what are we supposed to do?"
Archer
"I guess we got topick somebody to fight against."
Archer
"Aw, man, I can't fight you guys."
Archer
"I literally can't."
Archer
"According to the First Law of Robotics,"
Archer
"I'm not allowed to harm a human being."
Archer
"-I pick Krieger. -Wha... No way!"
Archer
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