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Clips from Archer - Archer: 1999 -- Space Pirates (S10E10)

"[screaming]"
Archer
"ANNOUNCER: FXX presents Archer 1999."
Archer
"[ominous music]"
Archer
"Lana: Ugh, I'm tired of being out here."
Archer
"I wanna go home."
Archer
"- Eww, Earth? In space we can do whatever"
Archer
"the hell we want with basicallyno responsibilities."
Archer
"- Kind of my point. Maybe I'm ready to start"
Archer
"having a real life instead ofbeing stuck here with your ass."
Archer
"- Shh, my ass might hear you, and it's very sensitive."
Archer
"Of course, you know that. - Not engaging."
Archer
"I'm just saying, maybe it's time to hang this all up and--"
Archer
"- Ugh, is this about your aching uterus again?"
Archer
"- Okay, who said anything about--"
Archer
"- Well, we haven't talked aboutsettling down but--"
Archer
"- Nope. - Key word "settling.""
Archer
"- I'm down with going to Earth."
Archer
"I could use some fresh faces to bang."
Archer
"- And our bar stock is so low, I may have to resort to beer."
Archer
"- Has everyone gone crazy?"
Archer
"We're on the final frontier and you want to go back"
Archer
"to doing day jobs and gravity-laden sex?"
Archer
"- Not my first preference. - I vote with Archer."
Archer
"- Robots don't get a vote. - I prefer "synthetic human.""
Archer
"[overlapping chatter]"
Archer
"- No one gets to vote. I'm the captain."
Archer
"- Co-captain. And as the other co-captain,"
Archer
"I am setting a course for Earth."
Archer
"- No, Lana, I will not let you hyperspace us to Boring-town."
Archer
"[grunting]"
Archer
"Lana: [grunts] Archer: What the--ow!"
Archer
"Pam: Holy spacesnacks!"
Archer
"Lana: It's a Dri'n battle cruiser."
Archer
"And somehow it hasn't noticed us."
Archer
"- No, we're too close"
Archer
"for its long-range scanners to pick us up."
Archer
"- Great, let's just loop aroundthis bad boy"
Archer
"and hyperspace somewhere that is not Earth."
Archer
"- If we can destroy it, we will"
Archer
"cripple pirate activity in this sector."
Archer
"- Who cares?"
Archer
"- And collecta 30 million credit bounty"
Archer
"for taking it out."
Archer
"- As I was saying,"
Archer
"who cares about combatting space piracy more than me?"
Archer
"- Exactly."
Archer
"The very reasonable reward is just icing on the cake."
Archer
"- Guys, as captain of this ship..."
Archer
"- Co-captain."
Archer
"- I am making an executive decision."
Archer
"We're taking out that Dri'n bastard."
Archer
"- Like I already executively decided."
Archer
"- Hands in. "Space cowboys" on three."
Archer
"One, two..."
Archer
"- What the hell are you doing?"
Archer
"[main title theme]"
Archer
"♪"
Archer
"Archer: Okay, here's the plan:"
Archer
"after we board the ship, knock out a couple"
Archer
"of Dri'n guards, and then-- you'll love this--"
Archer
"put on their clothes-- - Not to be a buzzkill,"
Archer
"but you think there'll reallybe a plus-sized pirate onboard?"
Archer
"- Ugh, this is a horrible plan.- I'm not finished."
Archer
"Pam, you'll be our "prisoner.""
Archer
"- Sweet! - Lucky."
Archer
"- Still a horrible plan. - Let me finish!"
Archer
"We'll infiltrate the ship disguised as Dri'n guards."
Archer
"That's it. That's the whole plan."
Archer
"- This is not a plan."
Archer
"This is the plot of several famous films."
Archer
"- Well, why do you think they're famous, Lana?"
Archer
"We'll need Ray to get us some explosives."
Archer
"- He's taking a sick day."
Archer
"- Of course he is. - We get those?"
Archer
"- It's a miracle we don't crash into the sun"
Archer
"with all you Sick Day Cyrils and Personal Day Pams."
Archer
"- It is a pretty generous package if you use it right."
Archer
"- Space phrasing."
Archer
"- Well, where am I supposed to get explosives?"
Archer
"- "Thermite" be something I can do to help."
Archer
"Referencing thermite explosives."
Archer
"[all groan] - I did not enjoy that."
Archer
"Does this thing havean off switch?"
Archer
"- Aww, I have feelings."
Archer
"- Volume control? Anything?"
Archer
"Then we'll plant the thermite all over the ship"
Archer
"and hola explosivo."
Archer
"- I'm confused. - It's Spanish, Pam."
Archer
"- No, how will we getthe "Seamus" out of here"
Archer
"without us pingingtheir scanners?"
Archer
"- That's where Cyril and Carol come in."
Archer
"You two will disable the radar system on board."
Archer
"- Whoo-hoo! - Please don't."
Archer
"- I can disable the radar system!"
Archer
"- Can you disable yourself?"
Archer
"- Beep, bop, boop. Ya burnt."
Archer
"- Why not Krieger?"
Archer
"I mean, he's qualified even if he is a replicant."
Archer
"- Thank you, Lana, but I like to think"
Archer
"I'm more of a Repli-can."
Archer
"[all groan] - No bots."
Archer
"Mother, you stay and run comms.- Stay here?"
Archer
"With the liquor? Well, if you insist."
Archer
"- Space cowboys, let's ride! [triumphant music]"
Archer
"Lana: Would you stop trying to make "space cowboys" stick?"
Archer
"It isn't. - Fine, Lana."
Archer
"You stay here and be the world-weary"
Archer
"space saloon/brothel madam."
Archer
"- I wanna be a brothel madam!- Ooh, I--I could be the banker"
Archer
"and wear one of those green visors."
Archer
"- Everybody stop making this stick!"
Archer
"And if anything, I would be co-sheriff."
Archer
"- That's not a thing."
Archer
"- The whole thing's not a thing!"
Archer
"- Whoa, space cowboys."
Archer
"- What is it now, Krieger? - I've got helpful gadgets!"
Archer
"Like these voice changers!"
Archer
"The Dri'n tongue is a beast, you know."
Archer
"- Fine, but honestly, Krieger, this is all a little thirsty."
Archer
"- Like Lana's ovaries. - Not engaging."
Archer
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