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Clips from Archer - Animation (S02E02)

Short Films 2009 Season 2, Episode 9 7 min 453 clips
Short Sport Documentary

Episodes from this show

Title Season Episode
Mole Hunt 1 1
Training Day 1 2
Diversity Hire 1 3
Killing Utne 1 4
Honeypot 1 5
Skorpio 1 6
Skytanic 1 7
The Rock 1 8
Job Offer 1 9
Dial M for Mother 1 10
Swiss Miss 2 1
Animation 2 2
Animation 2 3
Animation 2 4
Animation 2 5
Animation 2 6
Animation 2 7
Animation 2 8
Animation 2 9
Animation 2 10
Animation 2 11
Animation 2 12
Animation 2 13
Animation 3 1
Animation 3 2
Animation 3 3
Animation 3 4
Animation 3 5
Animation 3 6
Animation 3 7
Animation 3 8
Animation 3 9
Animation 3 10
Animation 3 11
Animation 3 12
Animation 3 13
Fugue and Riffs 4 1
Animation 4 2
Animation 4 3
Animation 4 4
Animation 4 5
Animation 4 6
Animation 4 7
Animation 4 8
Animation 4 9
Animation 4 10
Animation 4 11
Animation 5 1
Animation 5 2
Animation 5 3
Animation 5 4
Animation 5 5
Animation 5 6
Animation 5 7
Animation 5 8
Animation 5 9
Animation 5 10
Title Season Episode
Animation 5 11
Animation 5 12
Animation 5 13
The Holdout 6 1
Three to Tango 6 2
The Archer Sanction 6 3
Edie's Wedding 6 4
Vision Quest 6 5
Sitting 6 6
Animation 6 7
Animation 6 8
Animation 6 9
Animation 6 10
Animation 6 11
Animation 6 12
Animation 6 13
The Figgis Agency 7 1
The Handoff 7 2
Deadly Prep 7 3
Motherless Child 7 4
Bel Panto: Part I 7 5
Bel Panto: Part II 7 6
Double Indecency 7 7
Liquid Lunch 7 8
Deadly Velvet: Part 1 7 9
Deadly Velvet: Part 2 7 10
Animation 8 1
Animation 8 2
Animation 8 3
Animation 8 4
Animation 8 5
Animation 8 6
Animation 8 7
Animation 8 8
Danger Island: Different Modes of Preparing the Fruit 9 3
Danger Island: A Warrior in Costume 9 4
Danger Island: Strange Doings in the Taboo Groves 9 5
Danger Island: Some Remarks on Cannibalism 9 6
Danger Island: Comparative Wickedness of Civilized and Unenlightened Peoples 9 7
Archer: 1999 -- Bort the Garj 10 1
Archer: 1999 -- Happy Borthday 10 2
Archer: 1999 -- The Leftovers 10 3
Archer: 1999 -- Dining with the Zarglorp 10 4
Archer: 1999 -- Mr. Deadly Goes to Town 10 5
Archer: 1999 -- Road Trip 10 6
Archer: 1999 -- Space Pirates 10 7
Archer: 1999 -- Cubert 10 8
Archer: 1999 -- Robert De Niro 10 9
The Orpheus Gambit 11 1
Bloodsploosh 11 2
Helping Hands 11 3
Robot Factory 11 4
Best Friends 11 5
The Double Date 11 6
Caught Napping 11 7
Cold Fusion 11 8
KRIEGER: So there's your breast-cancer tumor, and the portacath...
"KRIEGER: So there's your breast-cancer tumor, and the portacath..."
Archer
And you're taking tetraphenol orally, right?
"And you're taking tetraphenol orally, right?"
Archer
[SPEAKING IN PORTUGUESE]
"[SPEAKING IN PORTUGUESE]"
Archer
I don't know, Krieger, maybe it's because I'm a badass...
"I don't know, Krieger, maybe it's because I'm a badass..."
Archer
I got a guy.
"I got a guy."
Archer
Me too, Krieger. He's called a pharmacist.
"Me too, Krieger. He's called a pharmacist."
Archer
Yeah, and is he the same pharmacist who gave you all these chemo drugs?
"Yeah, and is he the same pharmacist who gave you all these chemo drugs?"
Archer
He damn sure didn't give it to me.
"He damn sure didn't give it to me."
Archer
Those pills are like 80 bucks each...
"Those pills are like 80 bucks each..."
Archer
ARCHER: But what does that mean, is that good?
"ARCHER: But what does that mean, is that good?"
Archer
No. It means this $80 pill is 100 percent sucrose.
"No. It means this $80 pill is 100 percent sucrose."
Archer
I know what sucrose is, idiot. But there's medicine in there too, right?
"I know what sucrose is, idiot. But there's medicine in there too, right?"
Archer
- Uh, no, not a trace. - What...?
"- Uh, no, not a trace. - What...?"
Archer
Wait, so I've been treating my breast cancer with sugar pills?
"Wait, so I've been treating my breast cancer with sugar pills?"
Archer
What the hell is it?
"What the hell is it?"
Archer
- All this time, it's been... - Growing, I guess.
"- All this time, it's been... - Growing, I guess."
Archer
Does someone you love have breast cancer?
"Does someone you love have breast cancer?"
Archer
Yeah. Me.
"Yeah. Me."
Archer
What are you...? Sterling, no, you're not well.
"What are you...? Sterling, no, you're not well."
Archer
- Well, excuse me, Lana. It's a rampage. - Still, though.
"- Well, excuse me, Lana. It's a rampage. - Still, though."
Archer
- Unh, unh. Oh, you son of a whore. - Save it for the fast money round, Paddy.
"- Unh, unh. Oh, you son of a whore. - Save it for the fast money round, Paddy."
Archer
Let me see cock-flavored spit.
"Let me see cock-flavored spit."
Archer
I'm just assuming you don't know what goes on here.
"I'm just assuming you don't know what goes on here."
Archer
Delaney sells it to...
"Delaney sells it to..."
Archer
...I swear I don't know who, but they switch it with fake stuff here.
"...I swear I don't know who, but they switch it with fake stuff here."
Archer
- Were you? - They don't know what goes on here.
"- Were you? - They don't know what goes on here."
Archer
- That "beaner" is a pejorative term for a Mexican.
"- That "beaner" is a pejorative term for a Mexican."
Archer
- Why? - Because I'm way behind on my treatment.
"- Why? - Because I'm way behind on my treatment."
Archer
[VOMITING]
"[VOMITING]"
Archer
Unh. Not a smart mid-rampage move.
"Unh. Not a smart mid-rampage move."
Archer
LANA: Okay, so day two of the chemo-fueled rampage...
"LANA: Okay, so day two of the chemo-fueled rampage..."
Archer
As you can see, I've got wine coolers on my feet...
"As you can see, I've got wine coolers on my feet..."
Archer
Fair amount of gastric distress, and, uh, scarf.
"Fair amount of gastric distress, and, uh, scarf."
Archer
Suck it up. I tracked Delaney to an all-night poker game.
"Suck it up. I tracked Delaney to an all-night poker game."
Archer
Great, one second?
"Great, one second?"
Archer
- Ew. - Unh.
"- Ew. - Unh."
Archer
Is our adult relationship perfect? No.
"Is our adult relationship perfect? No."
Archer
Wow, really? My momma told me how much she loved me all the time.
"Wow, really? My momma told me how much she loved me all the time."
Archer
Exactly. Look how you turned out.
"Exactly. Look how you turned out."
Archer
PAM: What you doing, Krieger?
"PAM: What you doing, Krieger?"
Archer
How come you know Portuguese?
"How come you know Portuguese?"
Archer
It's Providence.
"It's Providence."
Archer
- I actually have no idea. - No shit.
"- I actually have no idea. - No shit."
Archer
Yeah, I don't know why I do that.
"Yeah, I don't know why I do that."
Archer
- Obviously. - Oh.
"- Obviously. - Oh."
Archer
Wh...? Ugh.
"Wh...? Ugh."
Archer
Well, you're sweet enough to come see a sick old lady in the hospital.
"Well, you're sweet enough to come see a sick old lady in the hospital."
Archer
[BOTH LAUGH]
"[BOTH LAUGH]"
Archer
Oh, unwad your panties.
"Oh, unwad your panties."
Archer
We're here.
"We're here."
Archer
Rampage!
"Rampage!"
Archer
Well, we'll just see what Ms. Archer has to say about this Nazi beeswax.
"Well, we'll just see what Ms. Archer has to say about this Nazi beeswax."
Archer
KRIEGER: Fine.
"KRIEGER: Fine."
Archer
Or, you know, not fine.
"Or, you know, not fine."
Archer
Now shut up and kick in the door for me.
"Now shut up and kick in the door for me."
Archer
Shite, Joey, you call this a hand? More like a foot.
"Shite, Joey, you call this a hand? More like a foot."
Archer
Stand your ass up.
"Stand your ass up."
Archer
- You idiot asshole. - Sorry.
"- You idiot asshole. - Sorry."
Archer
First of all, you don't have to yell, Lana. I don't have ear cancer.
"First of all, you don't have to yell, Lana. I don't have ear cancer."
Archer
What are you doing back there?
"What are you doing back there?"
Archer
Well, for starters, you can apologize to my friend...
"Well, for starters, you can apologize to my friend..."
Archer
- What? - She's not gay, she just has big hands.
"- What? - She's not gay, she just has big hands."
Archer
I'm gonna assume you know the difference...
"I'm gonna assume you know the difference..."
Archer
...between an M26 and a Mark 2 fragmentation grenade.
"...between an M26 and a Mark 2 fragmentation grenade."
Archer
- Wait, son. Now, just wait a second. - Another key difference is the pin.
"- Wait, son. Now, just wait a second. - Another key difference is the pin."
Archer
[WHIMPERING]
"[WHIMPERING]"
Archer
ARCHER: I got it, let's go.
"ARCHER: I got it, let's go."
Archer
Yes, Lana, I'm on a rampage.
"Yes, Lana, I'm on a rampage."
Archer
[HIGH-PITCHED BUZZING]
"[HIGH-PITCHED BUZZING]"
Archer
Good bedside manner, knows all the parts of the ear.
"Good bedside manner, knows all the parts of the ear."
Archer
Oh, you must.
"Oh, you must."
Archer
- Regis is the best. - No, Ruth, you're the best.
"- Regis is the best. - No, Ruth, you're the best."
Archer
ARCHER: Heh. Oh, man, what have I been doing?
"ARCHER: Heh. Oh, man, what have I been doing?"
Archer
Still, though. Ew.
"Still, though. Ew."
Archer
I got this. Franny Delaney.
"I got this. Franny Delaney."
Archer
Oranges, exactly.
"Oranges, exactly."
Archer
Do you like powdered orange breakfast drink?
"Do you like powdered orange breakfast drink?"
Archer
None of those would have been possible...
"None of those would have been possible..."
Archer
...without the Nazi scientists we brought back after World War II.
"...without the Nazi scientists we brought back after World War II."
Archer
Yeah, Cyril.
"Yeah, Cyril."
Archer
And if it's one thing I've learned in all my years as a spy master...
"And if it's one thing I've learned in all my years as a spy master..."
Archer
And if it's one thing I've learned in all my years as a spy master...
"And if it's one thing I've learned in all my years as a spy master..."
Archer
And possible genetic clones of Adolf Hitler closer.
"And possible genetic clones of Adolf Hitler closer."
Archer
[DOGS BARKING AND MAN SCREAMS]
"[DOGS BARKING AND MAN SCREAMS]"
Archer
I'm sorry, was that racist? I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at Archer.
"I'm sorry, was that racist? I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at Archer."
Archer
[GASPS]
"[GASPS]"
Archer
Damn it, that is classic him.
"Damn it, that is classic him."
Archer
- Ooh, do you guys have any snacks? ARCHER: Here.
"- Ooh, do you guys have any snacks? ARCHER: Here."
Archer
You can't do it, boy. I know you.
"You can't do it, boy. I know you."
Archer
- You don't know me. - Ha-ha-ha.
"- You don't know me. - Ha-ha-ha."
Archer
But let me tell you, boyo...
"But let me tell you, boyo..."
Archer
...that mother of yours found a whole new way to use them.
"...that mother of yours found a whole new way to use them."
Archer
To use the beads?
"To use the beads?"
Archer
Like an SSP racer.
"Like an SSP racer."
Archer
[VOMITS]
"[VOMITS]"
Archer
Yeah. Why?
"Yeah. Why?"
Archer
Booyakasha, booyakasha.
"Booyakasha, booyakasha."
Archer
Hey, just because he was your boyfriend...
"Hey, just because he was your boyfriend..."
Archer
What boyfriend?
"What boyfriend?"
Archer
Zing! Ahem.
"Zing! Ahem."
Archer
Wildly inappropriate.
"Wildly inappropriate."
Archer
[LANA GROANS]
"[LANA GROANS]"
Archer
It's a working title. Idiots.
"It's a working title. Idiots."
Archer
Seriously, what is cancer?
"Seriously, what is cancer?"
Archer
Wait. I got it.
"Wait. I got it."
Archer
...through which you take cyclophosphamate intravenously.
"...through which you take cyclophosphamate intravenously."
Archer
[SPEAKS IN PORTUGUESE]
"[SPEAKS IN PORTUGUESE]"
Archer
...but chemotherapy is a breeze.
"...but chemotherapy is a breeze."
Archer
Two weeks of chemo with no hair loss, and you're not experiencing any nausea?
"Two weeks of chemo with no hair loss, and you're not experiencing any nausea?"
Archer
Which, I gotta tell you, huge fan.
"Which, I gotta tell you, huge fan."
Archer
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah, and I advocate its use.
"- Oh, yeah? - Yeah, and I advocate its use."
Archer
As a potential role model, I advocate it.
"As a potential role model, I advocate it."
Archer
...or for cannabidiol's clinically-proven ability to inhibit cancer cell growth?
"...or for cannabidiol's clinically-proven ability to inhibit cancer cell growth?"
Archer
You would not believe how much cancer medicine costs.
"You would not believe how much cancer medicine costs."
Archer
...and the IV stuff is literally 2 grand a bag...
"...and the IV stuff is literally 2 grand a bag..."
Archer
Because I want to run a few tests.
"Because I want to run a few tests."
Archer
And so, if the reagent turns blue...
"And so, if the reagent turns blue..."
Archer
You didn't think it was weird your chemo drugs were chewable?
"You didn't think it was weird your chemo drugs were chewable?"
Archer
- Well, what about the intravenous drug? - Right, yes, the cyclophosphamate.
"- Well, what about the intravenous drug? - Right, yes, the cyclophosphamate."
Archer
- Hm. - "Mm" what, Krieger?
"- Hm. - "Mm" what, Krieger?"
Archer