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Clips from Archer - Animation (S08E08)

Short Films 2009 Season 8, Episode 8 7 min 425 clips
Short Sport Documentary
- Yeah. - Duh.
"- Yeah. - Duh."
Archer
it was probably that golem of hers.
"it was probably that golem of hers."
Archer
which means we need to do a little... housekeeping.
"which means we need to do a little... housekeeping."
Archer
And don't bring back a dirty shovel.
"And don't bring back a dirty shovel."
Archer
I will literally die.
"I will literally die."
Archer
ARCHER: And how do you know about this?
"ARCHER: And how do you know about this?"
Archer
Oh, come on, everybody knows.
"Oh, come on, everybody knows."
Archer
If I find out you're lying to me...
"If I find out you're lying to me..."
Archer
Why would I lie?
"Why would I lie?"
Archer
That bitch...
"That bitch..."
Archer
until I find out the truth.
"until I find out the truth."
Archer
No? Okay, I got one.
"No? Okay, I got one."
Archer
And then you say "Who's there?"
"And then you say "Who's there?""
Archer
I-I don't understand. Are you a cop?
"I-I don't understand. Are you a cop?"
Archer
- N-no... - And yet!
"- N-no... - And yet!"
Archer
(screams)
"(screams)"
Archer
(chuckling)
"(chuckling)"
Archer
(terrified whimper/sob)
"(terrified whimper/sob)"
Archer
Although if I'm being honest,
"Although if I'm being honest,"
Archer
Rrrrgh!
"Rrrrgh!"
Archer
(through sock): Mm mmmf! Mmf mmfff mmf!
"(through sock): Mm mmmf! Mmf mmfff mmf!"
Archer
- Pfft, pfft! Ptuh! Pbbb! - There! Happy?
"- Pfft, pfft! Ptuh! Pbbb! - There! Happy?"
Archer
- Both of you! - All right!
"- Both of you! - All right!"
Archer
- Have you lost your mind? - (chewing pills)
"- Have you lost your mind? - (chewing pills)"
Archer
- I... no, shut up. - What is this all about?
"- I... no, shut up. - What is this all about?"
Archer
- Godddammit. - What?
"- Godddammit. - What?"
Archer
I'm not! I had no idea!
"I'm not! I had no idea!"
Archer
POOVEY: Well, some people need to get shot!
"POOVEY: Well, some people need to get shot!"
Archer
(chuckling) What's happening?
"(chuckling) What's happening?"
Archer
(chuckling) Okay, but we gotta
"(chuckling) Okay, but we gotta"
Archer
Rarrrghh!
"Rarrrghh!"
Archer
A quart low on what?
"A quart low on what?"
Archer
- What? No, he's my life's work! - Yeah.
"- What? No, he's my life's work! - Yeah."
Archer
How, could you possibly think you're the boss of me?
"How, could you possibly think you're the boss of me?"
Archer
And the ransom money,
"And the ransom money,"
Archer
My what?
"My what?"
Archer
I did it just to see his light go out.
"I did it just to see his light go out."
Archer
Rrrraaaagh!
"Rrrraaaagh!"
Archer
Ungh!
"Ungh!"
Archer
in a bread line and ask for toast.
"in a bread line and ask for toast."
Archer
- What? - Why would there be toast?
"- What? - Why would there be toast?"
Archer
- Why wouldn't there be? - KRIEGER: Stop it!
"- Why wouldn't there be? - KRIEGER: Stop it!"
Archer
Now go make me some blue stuff!
"Now go make me some blue stuff!"
Archer
Aktion!
"Aktion!"
Archer
(dogs barking and growling)
"(dogs barking and growling)"
Archer
- Oh, God! - What is that?
"- Oh, God! - What is that?"
Archer
Down! Down! Down! Goddammit, do these muttz even speak Engl...
"Down! Down! Down! Goddammit, do these muttz even speak Engl..."
Archer
(low menacing growls)
"(low menacing growls)"
Archer
- (cat meows) - You don't count!
"- (cat meows) - You don't count!"
Archer
Aus! Aus!
"Aus! Aus!"
Archer
(chuckling) Man, I don't know who to root against.
"(chuckling) Man, I don't know who to root against."
Archer
That is... without a doubt,
"That is... without a doubt,"
Archer
What did you call her?
"What did you call her?"
Archer
- It-it means Treasury agent... - Hey!
"- It-it means Treasury agent... - Hey!"
Archer
Oh. Although right about now I'm guessing she wishes it didn't.
"Oh. Although right about now I'm guessing she wishes it didn't."
Archer
(tense/wary reactions)
"(tense/wary reactions)"
Archer
Hey, be careful, it's got a...
"Hey, be careful, it's got a..."
Archer
- I can explain! - Yes.
"- I can explain! - Yes."
Archer
Because either you were moonlighting as a singer
"Because either you were moonlighting as a singer"
Archer
- That's what I was trying to tell you! - When?
"- That's what I was trying to tell you! - When?"
Archer
Goddammit, Poovey!
"Goddammit, Poovey!"
Archer
How was that my fault?
"How was that my fault?"
Archer
Somebody call an ambulance!
"Somebody call an ambulance!"
Archer
Archer...
"Archer..."
Archer
I'm sorry.
"I'm sorry."
Archer
(angry reactions)
"(angry reactions)"
Archer
- What? - What? I was asking if she's okay.
"- What? - What? I was asking if she's okay."
Archer
and nobody could possibly survive that!
"and nobody could possibly survive that!"
Archer
Not even in a parallel universe!
"Not even in a parallel universe!"
Archer
- Wait a minute! - Are you nuts?
"- Wait a minute! - Are you nuts?"
Archer
But you have to promise to set
"But you have to promise to set"
Archer
those Chinese ladies up in business.
"those Chinese ladies up in business."
Archer
who says you get to decide who gets the money?
"who says you get to decide who gets the money?"
Archer
you're out of ammo!
"you're out of ammo!"
Archer
They're all just really happy to be together,
"They're all just really happy to be together,"
Archer
Well, and healthy. As a family.
"Well, and healthy. As a family."
Archer
Mmmmmm...
"Mmmmmm..."
Archer
I have a tendency to get sidetracked.
"I have a tendency to get sidetracked."
Archer
Which, honestly, was kinda shitty of you.
"Which, honestly, was kinda shitty of you."
Archer
Although I can't imagine you having anything
"Although I can't imagine you having anything"
Archer
Hello?
"Hello?"
Archer
♪ ♪
"♪ ♪"
Archer
So, uh...
"So, uh..."
Archer
And what do you mean, Mother killed Woodhouse?
"And what do you mean, Mother killed Woodhouse?"
Archer
- Me? - Yes, you!
"- Me? - Yes, you!"
Archer
Well, not, you know,
"Well, not, you know,"
Archer
It's obvious that Archer's
"It's obvious that Archer's"
Archer
bungled this whole thing,
"bungled this whole thing,"
Archer
- Rgh? - Mm-hmm.
"- Rgh? - Mm-hmm."
Archer
Rrrgh...
"Rrrgh..."
Archer
(big yawn)
"(big yawn)"
Archer
Oh, my God, if someone doesn't bring me toast
"Oh, my God, if someone doesn't bring me toast"
Archer
Your partner got in too deep on his dope bill,
"Your partner got in too deep on his dope bill,"
Archer
so she had that ape whack him.
"so she had that ape whack him."
Archer
- (breaks squeal) - POOVEY: Jesus!
"- (breaks squeal) - POOVEY: Jesus!"
Archer
The big idea is
"The big idea is"
Archer
we're going to Dreamland,
"we're going to Dreamland,"
Archer
and you're all gonna stay tied up
"and you're all gonna stay tied up"
Archer
Uh, mountain climbers?
"Uh, mountain climbers?"
Archer
- Their what? - How would that even work?
"- Their what? - How would that even work?"
Archer
- (long ahem) - Son of a... What?
"- (long ahem) - Son of a... What?"
Archer
No, I was... gonna say rope salesmen.
"No, I was... gonna say rope salesmen."
Archer
Anybody have a joke about socks?
"Anybody have a joke about socks?"
Archer
(chuckles) Okay, then, I guess just pout.
"(chuckles) Okay, then, I guess just pout."
Archer
(laughs) Uh, do I look like a cop?
"(laughs) Uh, do I look like a cop?"
Archer
So listen... uh, I don't wanna tell you how to live your life,
"So listen... uh, I don't wanna tell you how to live your life,"
Archer
(scream, cut short by impact sound)
"(scream, cut short by impact sound)"
Archer
♪ ♪
"♪ ♪"
Archer
Double double, toil and trouble...
"Double double, toil and trouble..."
Archer
it's really no trouble. I love my work.
"it's really no trouble. I love my work."
Archer
Alright, once my patient arrives...
"Alright, once my patient arrives..."
Archer
- (door creaks) - Well, speak of the devil.
"- (door creaks) - Well, speak of the devil."
Archer
I was just... Oh, damn it, what do you want?
"I was just... Oh, damn it, what do you want?"
Archer
What?
"What?"
Archer
- Well, don't bring it back dirty. - Rrgh!
"- Well, don't bring it back dirty. - Rrgh!"
Archer
_
"_"
Archer
ARCHER: Now sit down!
"ARCHER: Now sit down!"
Archer
- What? - (in agreement): Mmff! Mmf mmf! Rrmmfmf!
"- What? - (in agreement): Mmff! Mmf mmf! Rrmmfmf!"
Archer
I can't understand a word you're saying.
"I can't understand a word you're saying."
Archer
Mm mmmf! Mmf mmfff mmf!
"Mm mmmf! Mmf mmfff mmf!"
Archer