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Clips from Archer - Animation (S08E08)

Short Films 2009 Season 8, Episode 1 7 min 445 clips
Short Sport Documentary
Oh grave, where is thy victory?
"Oh grave, where is thy victory?"
Archer
He cometh up and is cut down like a flower.
"He cometh up and is cut down like a flower."
Archer
- It was a nice service. - Hmm.
"- It was a nice service. - Hmm."
Archer
You should go sleep in a real bed.
"You should go sleep in a real bed."
Archer
No, no, no!
"No, no, no!"
Archer
Let me go, goddammit. Come on!
"Let me go, goddammit. Come on!"
Archer
Not for him.
"Not for him."
Archer
Yeah? And we'll see how you like it
"Yeah? And we'll see how you like it"
Archer
For you, Archer,
"For you, Archer,"
Archer
Exactly. That face right there.
"Exactly. That face right there."
Archer
I do not, actually, and I am not,
"I do not, actually, and I am not,"
Archer
Do you know who I work for?
"Do you know who I work for?"
Archer
Yeah, woodhouse. He...
"Yeah, woodhouse. He..."
Archer
Goddamn.
"Goddamn."
Archer
Well, I wish you could hold a tempo.
"Well, I wish you could hold a tempo."
Archer
Wha... what's... what...
"Wha... what's... what..."
Archer
Ah, there he is.
"Ah, there he is."
Archer
I... well, first of all,
"I... well, first of all,"
Archer
Gasp. And I pulled my gun
"Gasp. And I pulled my gun"
Archer
Old buncombe, if you've got it.
"Old buncombe, if you've got it."
Archer
How do you take it? Usually alone.
"How do you take it? Usually alone."
Archer
And so, I do hope you'll forgive Mr. Zerk
"And so, I do hope you'll forgive Mr. Zerk"
Archer
Well, I had to get to Berlin.
"Well, I had to get to Berlin."
Archer
You know. "Don't shoot," "I surrender,"
"You know. "Don't shoot," "I surrender,""
Archer
And yet, you turned down a battlefield commission
"And yet, you turned down a battlefield commission"
Archer
to second lieutenant.
"to second lieutenant."
Archer
I need a new lock on my diary?
"I need a new lock on my diary?"
Archer
Yeah, or having my time wasted.
"Yeah, or having my time wasted."
Archer
So, if you'll excuse me...
"So, if you'll excuse me..."
Archer
I know what you meant.
"I know what you meant."
Archer
With which... hang on. Wait, really?
"With which... hang on. Wait, really?"
Archer
against Len Trexler?
"against Len Trexler?"
Archer
I thought you had guts.
"I thought you had guts."
Archer
Careful what you wish for.
"Careful what you wish for."
Archer
I meant... I know what you meant.
"I meant... I know what you meant."
Archer
If we had, you'd remember.
"If we had, you'd remember."
Archer
PBR. Wow.
"PBR. Wow."
Archer
25 bucks a day plus expenses.
"25 bucks a day plus expenses."
Archer
Uh-huh. And then, maybe...
"Uh-huh. And then, maybe..."
Archer
Between hope and despair.
"Between hope and despair."
Archer
How about the tip of my cock?
"How about the tip of my cock?"
Archer
which is barely enough to buy an extremely nice umbrella.
"which is barely enough to buy an extremely nice umbrella."
Archer
Leave it to woodhouse.
"Leave it to woodhouse."
Archer
Although... I better get moving
"Although... I better get moving"
Archer
if I'm going to make it to long beach in time.
"if I'm going to make it to long beach in time."
Archer
like mother and Len Trexler about as much as I wanted
"like mother and Len Trexler about as much as I wanted"
Archer
and the cold, blue steel of my .45.
"and the cold, blue steel of my .45."
Archer
Because I don't need a spirit animal,
"Because I don't need a spirit animal,"
Archer
and if I did, he'd be an ocelot.
"and if I did, he'd be an ocelot."
Archer
Now, that is a lovely parting gift.
"Now, that is a lovely parting gift."
Archer
Everything is my business.
"Everything is my business."
Archer
Ah, dog dicks.
"Ah, dog dicks."
Archer
White slavery's just as racist. What?
"White slavery's just as racist. What?"
Archer
Or any part, 'cause he wasn't here.
"Or any part, 'cause he wasn't here."
Archer
Really? No, dickhead.
"Really? No, dickhead."
Archer
Goddammit.
"Goddammit."
Archer
Jesus, it's the cop, poovey.
"Jesus, it's the cop, poovey."
Archer
What? ...The shit?
"What? ...The shit?"
Archer
Ugh. What? You think they heard that?
"Ugh. What? You think they heard that?"
Archer
Who knows? They got their own calendar.
"Who knows? They got their own calendar."
Archer
I mean, I feel like I already know the answer,
"I mean, I feel like I already know the answer,"
Archer
God, the week.
"God, the week."
Archer
A story in which a Los Angeles police detective
"A story in which a Los Angeles police detective"
Archer
Dick.
"Dick."
Archer
Super.
"Super."
Archer
Or 12.
"Or 12."
Archer
But the other half says you're slightly more use to me alive.
"But the other half says you're slightly more use to me alive."
Archer
Oh death, where is thy sting?
"Oh death, where is thy sting?"
Archer
For man that is born of woman hath but a short time to live,
"For man that is born of woman hath but a short time to live,"
Archer
and is full of misery.
"and is full of misery."
Archer
He fleeth as it were a shadow.
"He fleeth as it were a shadow."
Archer
In the midst of life, we are in death.
"In the midst of life, we are in death."
Archer
In the midst of death, we are in life.
"In the midst of death, we are in life."
Archer
And he had a good, long life.
"And he had a good, long life."
Archer
He did, for a heroin addict.
"He did, for a heroin addict."
Archer
Sad Archer wasn't there.
"Sad Archer wasn't there."
Archer
Or here.
"Or here."
Archer
It's been a long couple of months.
"It's been a long couple of months."
Archer
Three, next week.
"Three, next week."
Archer
I'm fine. I want to be here if...
"I'm fine. I want to be here if..."
Archer
When he wakes up.
"When he wakes up."
Archer
Yeah. Did the doctor...?
"Yeah. Did the doctor...?"
Archer
The same.
"The same."
Archer
Could be tomorrow,
"Could be tomorrow,"
Archer
could be another three months.
"could be another three months."
Archer
Could be... Yeah.
"Could be... Yeah."
Archer
Well, I guess I'll go.
"Well, I guess I'll go."
Archer
I'll try to bring a.J. By tomorrow.
"I'll try to bring a.J. By tomorrow."
Archer
Or Friday.
"Or Friday."
Archer
We'll be here.
"We'll be here."
Archer
At least he doesn't know Woodhouse died.
"At least he doesn't know Woodhouse died."
Archer
That would break his heart. Mm-hmm.
"That would break his heart. Mm-hmm."
Archer
Although there's no telling what he knows.
"Although there's no telling what he knows."
Archer
Or what he's thinking about.
"Or what he's thinking about."
Archer
Well, dreaming about, I suppose.
"Well, dreaming about, I suppose."
Archer
No.
"No."
Archer
No!
"No!"
Archer
No!
"No!"
Archer
Noooo!
"Noooo!"
Archer
Go easy, Archer. Poovey, I swear to Christ,
"Go easy, Archer. Poovey, I swear to Christ,"
Archer
I will punch you right in the... genitals.
"I will punch you right in the... genitals."
Archer
It's okay. Let him go. You big lummox.
"It's okay. Let him go. You big lummox."
Archer
Oh, Jesus. Woodhouse.
"Oh, Jesus. Woodhouse."
Archer
So, where are you, Figgis?
"So, where are you, Figgis?"
Archer
You got any leads? What do you think happened?
"You got any leads? What do you think happened?"
Archer
I think he got too far behind on his dope tab,
"I think he got too far behind on his dope tab,"
Archer
so sometime last night his dealer
"so sometime last night his dealer"
Archer
punched his ticket for him.
"punched his ticket for him."
Archer
Yeah, and wouldn't that be convenient?
"Yeah, and wouldn't that be convenient?"
Archer
Oh! Now, scram, Archer!
"Oh! Now, scram, Archer!"
Archer
Ow. Son of a... I mean, just ow.
"Ow. Son of a... I mean, just ow."
Archer
You can claim the body at the morgue.
"You can claim the body at the morgue."
Archer
But that better be the last time I smell you
"But that better be the last time I smell you"
Archer
anywhere near this case.
"anywhere near this case."
Archer
Yeah, we'll see about that.
"Yeah, we'll see about that."
Archer
when I yank your P.I. License.
"when I yank your P.I. License."
Archer
See you around, poovey.
"See you around, poovey."
Archer
Take it easy, Archer.
"Take it easy, Archer."
Archer
Oh, hey, and Archer?
"Oh, hey, and Archer?"
Archer
Come to think of it, where were you last night?
"Come to think of it, where were you last night?"
Archer