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Clips from Archer - Animation (S08E08)

Short Films 2009 Season 8, Episode 6 7 min 454 clips
Short Sport Documentary
Are we just jumping right into this, or...
"Are we just jumping right into this, or..."
Archer
(muffled grunt)
"(muffled grunt)"
Archer
Grnk!
"Grnk!"
Archer
Did someone named Gurnk take it?
"Did someone named Gurnk take it?"
Archer
- (muffled): Uh-huh. - Damn it.
"- (muffled): Uh-huh. - Damn it."
Archer
- Uh-uh! - Palm... hand...
"- Uh-uh! - Palm... hand..."
Archer
Oh. Ooh! Handwriting! Handwriting!
"Oh. Ooh! Handwriting! Handwriting!"
Archer
- (muffled yelling, gagging) - Paper.
"- (muffled yelling, gagging) - Paper."
Archer
- (muffled) Uh-huh. - Damn it!
"- (muffled) Uh-huh. - Damn it!"
Archer
Hard surface.
"Hard surface."
Archer
(muffled gagging)
"(muffled gagging)"
Archer
I'll have to mail somebody your foot.
"I'll have to mail somebody your foot."
Archer
- Ew. - You don't know the half of it.
"- Ew. - You don't know the half of it."
Archer
Oh, just let him go.
"Oh, just let him go."
Archer
♪ ♪
"♪ ♪"
Archer
Hang on. (gulping)
"Hang on. (gulping)"
Archer
Common misconception. Frankenstein was the doctor
"Common misconception. Frankenstein was the doctor"
Archer
Oh, I think that goes without saying.
"Oh, I think that goes without saying."
Archer
...shut up... must've brought the cops,
"...shut up... must've brought the cops,"
Archer
go get it!
"go get it!"
Archer
I haven't slept in, like, literally four days, so...
"I haven't slept in, like, literally four days, so..."
Archer
- ("Pomp and Circumstance" playing) - WOMAN (over P.A.): Bai Poovey.
"- ("Pomp and Circumstance" playing) - WOMAN (over P.A.): Bai Poovey."
Archer
Chang Poovey.
"Chang Poovey."
Archer
Oh, Peng! Oh, he overcame dyslexia! (sobbing)
"Oh, Peng! Oh, he overcame dyslexia! (sobbing)"
Archer
- You, on the other hand... - Wha... What about me?
"- You, on the other hand... - Wha... What about me?"
Archer
No, just, you know, you said "suicide."
"No, just, you know, you said "suicide.""
Archer
And?
"And?"
Archer
(laughing) Oh, come on!
"(laughing) Oh, come on!"
Archer
There were two cars chasing us in the park, remember?
"There were two cars chasing us in the park, remember?"
Archer
For all we know, those were Trexler's guys!
"For all we know, those were Trexler's guys!"
Archer
(off-kilter footsteps)
"(off-kilter footsteps)"
Archer
Throw me out of a goddamn car,
"Throw me out of a goddamn car,"
Archer
New Delman heel somewhere in the goddamn idiot woods.
"New Delman heel somewhere in the goddamn idiot woods."
Archer
Ahem.
"Ahem."
Archer
Can I... help you?
"Can I... help you?"
Archer
Commandeering this vehicle.
"Commandeering this vehicle."
Archer
They did have one... Alaska P. Davidson...
"They did have one... Alaska P. Davidson..."
Archer
Well, then, you're in the minority.
"Well, then, you're in the minority."
Archer
Yeah, speaking of, uh...
"Yeah, speaking of, uh..."
Archer
- of the Internal Revenue Service. - (laughing)
"- of the Internal Revenue Service. - (laughing)"
Archer
- Uh, ever heard of Al Capone? - Seriously?
"- Uh, ever heard of Al Capone? - Seriously?"
Archer
Well, he died in prison thanks to the IRS.
"Well, he died in prison thanks to the IRS."
Archer
Oh, yeah, I bet they were so happy to get their dead baby back.
"Oh, yeah, I bet they were so happy to get their dead baby back."
Archer
After all, she was supposed to be
"After all, she was supposed to be"
Archer
helping me find Woodhouse's killer.
"helping me find Woodhouse's killer."
Archer
Hey, I said, "Right?" Oh, Jesus,
"Hey, I said, "Right?" Oh, Jesus,"
Archer
Better take one of these codeines.
"Better take one of these codeines."
Archer
- (crunching) - Mm. Well, or two, maybe.
"- (crunching) - Mm. Well, or two, maybe."
Archer
- Black pepper? - No, Trinette's concussion!
"- Black pepper? - No, Trinette's concussion!"
Archer
Huh? Oh. No, dummy.
"Huh? Oh. No, dummy."
Archer
Whaaat?
"Whaaat?"
Archer
Bull... shit.
"Bull... shit."
Archer
Aw, come on. That's common knowledge.
"Aw, come on. That's common knowledge."
Archer
- Which you wouldn't wanna do. - ...all the water already leaked out.
"- Which you wouldn't wanna do. - ...all the water already leaked out."
Archer
Well, okay, then. I... (sighs)
"Well, okay, then. I... (sighs)"
Archer
Good evening, ladies.
"Good evening, ladies."
Archer
(sighs) Why are you here, Mr. Vandertunt?
"(sighs) Why are you here, Mr. Vandertunt?"
Archer
In the hope the kidnappers left my bag behind.
"In the hope the kidnappers left my bag behind."
Archer
Well, then, that's where we're going.
"Well, then, that's where we're going."
Archer
before Archer comes back with that ransom money.
"before Archer comes back with that ransom money."
Archer
You make being kidnapped just awful.
"You make being kidnapped just awful."
Archer
(locks clicking)
"(locks clicking)"
Archer
- Did you go home and change? - I did, yes.
"- Did you go home and change? - I did, yes."
Archer
it means they empty their bladder and bowels.
"it means they empty their bladder and bowels."
Archer
- What, the potato compart... - No.
"- What, the potato compart... - No."
Archer
- Spud box? - No!
"- Spud box? - No!"
Archer
- Tater hutch. - Rrrrrgh!
"- Tater hutch. - Rrrrrgh!"
Archer
Can we eventually get to Trexler's?
"Can we eventually get to Trexler's?"
Archer
Huh. Now, why would the door be open?
"Huh. Now, why would the door be open?"
Archer
Maybe he's got a selfish partner
"Maybe he's got a selfish partner"
Archer
- (cocks gun) - Oh, go ahead.
"- (cocks gun) - Oh, go ahead."
Archer
- Blow it off! - (shushing)
"- Blow it off! - (shushing)"
Archer
- (whispers): Oh. - (cocks gun)
"- (whispers): Oh. - (cocks gun)"
Archer
how do you feel about role-playing...
"how do you feel about role-playing..."
Archer
No, you lumpy little pervert!
"No, you lumpy little pervert!"
Archer
I can get the money and get Figgis murdered.
"I can get the money and get Figgis murdered."
Archer
Whoa. I...
"Whoa. I..."
Archer
No, dummy. You just got here. Hey!
"No, dummy. You just got here. Hey!"
Archer
Come on, Archer. Get your shit together.
"Come on, Archer. Get your shit together."
Archer
Door wide open, none of Trexler's goons around?
"Door wide open, none of Trexler's goons around?"
Archer
- But also... (sniffing) - (cocks gun)
"- But also... (sniffing) - (cocks gun)"
Archer
Park behind them.
"Park behind them."
Archer
I'm not staying out here with him.
"I'm not staying out here with him."
Archer
- Oh, my God! This place is amazing! - (chuckles)
"- Oh, my God! This place is amazing! - (chuckles)"
Archer
And loud. Now, shut up and...
"And loud. Now, shut up and..."
Archer
(spooky voice): Only some of which are sinister.
"(spooky voice): Only some of which are sinister."
Archer
You are so lucky I don't have a silencer.
"You are so lucky I don't have a silencer."
Archer
There's just so few of them who are friendly.
"There's just so few of them who are friendly."
Archer
Casper?
"Casper?"
Archer
(groans)
"(groans)"
Archer
Was that a lighter? Can we smoke?
"Was that a lighter? Can we smoke?"
Archer
- It's medicinal. - (distant running footsteps)
"- It's medicinal. - (distant running footsteps)"
Archer
- Give what a rest? - Oh, my God. Look,
"- Give what a rest? - Oh, my God. Look,"
Archer
but I know burnt pubes when I smell 'em!
"but I know burnt pubes when I smell 'em!"
Archer
That's not very Casper-y.
"That's not very Casper-y."
Archer
- And why the hell are you here? - That's it?
"- And why the hell are you here? - That's it?"
Archer
I said sorry in advance. And what are you doing here?
"I said sorry in advance. And what are you doing here?"
Archer
- She means "transvestite." - I'm...
"- She means "transvestite." - I'm..."
Archer
- What? - I am not a...
"- What? - I am not a..."
Archer
Believe me, I know.
"Believe me, I know."
Archer
- Aha! - Where's the money?
"- Aha! - Where's the money?"
Archer
- Really? - No! - Aw.
"- Really? - No! - Aw."
Archer
Figgis, get your ass out here!
"Figgis, get your ass out here!"
Archer
- So... - Well, the main thing is the bag, bud.
"- So... - Well, the main thing is the bag, bud."
Archer
- Where anything can happen to it. - Oh, right.
"- Where anything can happen to it. - Oh, right."
Archer
- (cocks gun) - Do you?
"- (cocks gun) - Do you?"
Archer
- Were you gonna say a werewolf? - No.
"- Were you gonna say a werewolf? - No."
Archer
- (Trexler wailing) - (all gasp, exclaim)
"- (Trexler wailing) - (all gasp, exclaim)"
Archer
- Holy shit! - That's Trexler!
"- Holy shit! - That's Trexler!"
Archer
(exclaiming in disgust)
"(exclaiming in disgust)"
Archer
(chuckling)
"(chuckling)"
Archer
Now, then, I assume I have your undivided attention?
"Now, then, I assume I have your undivided attention?"
Archer
like a kitten with a million dollars.
"like a kitten with a million dollars."
Archer
- Grnk! - Well? I'm waiting.
"- Grnk! - Well? I'm waiting."
Archer
- (muffled yelling) - Well?
"- (muffled yelling) - Well?"
Archer
I've got all night. And he's hourly, so...
"I've got all night. And he's hourly, so..."
Archer
- (muffled gagging) - Oh! Oh, he wants the check.
"- (muffled gagging) - Oh! Oh, he wants the check."
Archer
- (muffled gagging continues) - No, I think a pen.
"- (muffled gagging continues) - No, I think a pen."
Archer
Palm reader.
"Palm reader."
Archer
There's a nice way to do that.
"There's a nice way to do that."
Archer