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Clips from Archer - Bloodsploosh (S11E11)

"Malory: Item four:"
Archer
"our contact in the Sudan called."
Archer
"He wants to know‐‐"
Archer
"‐ Why the hell you started without me?"
Archer
"‐ Well, which part of "9:00 a. m. sharp""
Archer
"confused you?"
Archer
"‐ Most of it, obviously. ‐ Yeah."
Archer
"It was pretty clear to the rest of us."
Archer
"‐ Who clearly didn't have"
Archer
"the shitty morning I've had, Lana."
Archer
"Without pata negra ham,"
Archer
"it's not really eggs Woodhouse, now, is it?"
Archer
"‐ Well, sir, culatello ham is actually‐‐"
Archer
"‐ It's a different pig,"
Archer
"from a different country,"
Archer
"raised on a different diet!"
Archer
"The takeaway here is, you're fired."
Archer
"‐ [laughs] It's a little thing called "being on timing"‐ness."
Archer
"‐ Oh, and I thought it was called"
Archer
""who cares"‐ness. ‐ Things have changed."
Archer
"Briefings start at 9:00 a. m.,"
Archer
"and I expect everyone front and center."
Archer
"‐ How, when I have to park, like, a gajillion miles away"
Archer
"because Cyril's vasectomy on wheels"
Archer
"is in my goddamn parking space?"
Archer
"‐ It's been mine for quite some time."
Archer
"‐ And you don't need it anyway, dear,"
Archer
"now that you can use the... ‐ A‐da‐da..."
Archer
"‐ Handicap space. What?"
Archer
"‐ [grunts]"
Archer
"Oh, and speaking of..."
Archer
"[car alarm blaring]"
Archer
"‐ You trashed my car?"
Archer
"‐ "Trashed" is a strong word, Cyril."
Archer
"‐ Listen... ‐ Accurate, but strong."
Archer
"‐ You're gonna pay for that."
Archer
"‐ Uh, literally, or figuratively?"
Archer
"‐ Maybe we try both."
Archer
"‐ Oh, like as in, over my dead..."
Archer
"[cane hums] ‐ [emphatically] Not now."
Archer
"‐ Body, in case you were wondering"
Archer
"where I was going with‐‐"
Archer
"‐ Oh, for the love of..."
Archer
"Krieger? Krieger: If this is about"
Archer
"a package that just arrived,"
Archer
"super don't open it."
Archer
"‐ What? Krieger: Nothing."
Archer
"‐ Thanks to you, Sterling just zapped himself to death"
Archer
"all over my carpet!"
Archer
"Krieger: Uh, no. I specifically designed it"
Archer
"so the voltage wouldn't kill him."
Archer
"‐ Just maybe put him back in a coma,"
Archer
"so you can study his brain?"
Archer
"[dial tone]"
Archer
"[main title theme]"
Archer
"♪ ♪"
Archer
"Archer: Are you kidding me?"
Archer
"We have our own jet now?"
Archer
"‐ Well, the agency has become quite profitable"
Archer
"ever since your...accident."
Archer
"‐ Some might even say "because of.""
Archer
"‐ Well, either way, you can thank me"
Archer
"by telling me where the drinks are."
Archer
"‐ It's a dry plane."
Archer
"‐ Shut up, Cyril. That's not a thing."
Archer
"‐ Uh, we sort of have an unspoken policy"
Archer
"against the whole "shut up" thing."
Archer
"‐ Hmm, but no policy on coma‐jacking parking spots?"
Archer
"‐ Be that as it may..."
Archer
"‐ Strong priorities."
Archer
"‐ Be that as it may,"
Archer
"we've instituted a strict"
Archer
"no drinking on duty policy..."
Archer
"with certain limited exceptions."
Archer
"‐ Well, un‐limit them,"
Archer
"because I'm trying to prepare for a mission."
Archer
"‐ That involves us going to a secret island"
Archer
"to infiltrate an underground martial arts tournament"
Archer
"hosted by black market arms dealer Win Li"
Archer
"and smuggle him back to the U. S..."
Archer
"‐ In a fit of irony? ‐ To stand trial,"
Archer
"so it's important we take him alive."
Archer
"You got it? ‐ Chong Li, karate island,"
Archer
"hadouken, got it. ‐ Nope."
Archer
"‐ Oh, for chrissakes,"
Archer
"this was all covered in the damn briefing."
Archer
"‐ Which you were late to"
Archer
"and then nearly died during."
Archer
"‐ Mm‐mm. So "disprofessional.""
Archer
"‐ Yeah, does this mean briefings are gonna start"
Archer
"being fun again?"
Archer
"‐ Absolutely not! Krieger: Aww."
Archer
"‐ Krieger's flying the damn plane,"
Archer
"and we're supposed to be not drinking?"
Archer
"‐ [chuckles] Right? Krieger: Wait, we're not?"
Archer
"‐ Krieger!"
Archer
"‐ So I guess, here's to backup plans."
Archer
"‐ No."
Archer
"NewbetterCheryl doesn't do that."
Archer
"‐ New, better Cheryl? What the hell's that?"
Archer
"‐ I don't know!"
Archer
"But she does very good typings"
Archer
"and many important non‐burny things."
Archer
"‐ Well, not me, so don't mind if I do."
Archer
"‐ Hey, I was toasting and/or taunting you, Pam,"
Archer
"not offering."
Archer
"‐ [belches] Agree to disagree."
Archer
"[dramatic music]"
Archer
"♪ ♪"
Archer
"Archer: Oh, man."
Archer
"Pretty sure I have the world's first"
Archer
"karate island boner. ‐ Could you not?"
Archer
"We try to keep things professional around here."
Archer
"‐ Fine, God. How about"
Archer
""work‐related erection"?"
Archer
"‐ More like, maybe try not talking"
Archer
"about your erection at all."
Archer
"‐ I...don't know how."
Archer
"♪ ♪"
Archer
"Win Li: Welcome, everyone,"
Archer
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