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Clips from Archer - Animation (S05E05)

Short Films 2009 Season 5, Episode 9 7 min 442 clips

Episodes from this show

(clears throat)
unhappy. WOODHOUSE: Perish the
Idiots! (both yelling)
I was going to be unhappy. Now, then.
Who's next?
ARCHER: Okay, so, uh... I guess I'll go if...
There. Happy? MALORY: No!
I didn't mean with whipped cream!
PAM: Perfect for what? Come on, it's an album cover,
PAM: The butthole, Lana, is what I was...
country album should be hardcore...?
PAM: I do. LANA: You think it makes a
ARCHER: Yeah, Lana. MALORY: Shut up.
shut up. Of cocaine that you took to
until then, zip it! LANA: Wha...? What did I do?
CYRIL: Assholishness. (all yelling)
Cyril! CYRIL: Ray, what do I do?!
(grunts) ARCHER and CYRIL: Whoa!
CYRIL: No, it's... ARCHER: Shut up.
range, so... ARCHER: And who's fault
You see that airstrip? The one that's circled?
CYRIL: What's going on? RAY: Burning too much
heavy? ARCHER: You said we had
enough fuel to... RAY: I said barely!
ARCHER: Eh... I mean... RAY: Hello?
of God, man, jump! CYRIL: Just throw out the
What if, um... CYRIL: Archer!
ARCHER: Wait, why? CYRIL: Why maybe not?
(sputtering) (Archer and Cyril shout)
RAY: Because that. (sputtering)
exciting. I hope everyone dies.
of fuel and... what. RAY: No, no, no!
What are you doing?! CYRIL: Throwing out the guns!
no-phrasing thing is killing me. RAY: Best case, our
RAY: We're coming in! Brace for landing!
ARCHER: Oh, so you have heard that.
in there about fairy dust-- and then what happens?
CYRIL (chuckles): Yeah, tell her what happens next.
skills as a drug kingpin... RAY: You don't have any.
Hey, guy... (grunts) (Ray and Cyril squeak)
RAY and CYRIL: No. (others reacting in shock)
Beanbagged, Pam. (others gasp, groan)
what, how to get AIDS? MALORY (sighs): So who were
ARCHER: Oh! S-Sorry. You kind of trailed off like
ARCHER: Gomez was gonna steal it.
are not. (chuckles) You know, I mean, if
Apparently. SLATER (chuckles): What, did
for the money. At least for now.
8,000. SLATER: Still gonna freeze
huh? ARCHER: Mmm... yep.
ARCHER: Ow. (grunts) Ma, they done killed old Rando.
swears wasn't hers... MALORY: Because it most
MALORY and ARCHER: No, not from me!
the best time to invade is right after brunch, when
south and that Calderon would pay us.
LANA: Calderon? (gasps) As in Gustavo Calderon?
ARCHER: Should I know... MALORY: Oh for God's sake,
It still says "German East Africa."
LANA: Well, it's Tanzania now, so...
a country. MALORY: And it's in the
Hang on. Bees.
As in who cares. MALORY: The United States.
ARCHER: I don't know, maybe a little jealous.
you know, bricks of cocaine? MALORY: Krieger...
CHERLENE: I'm not cleaning it up.
a mirror, a needle and thread, and a straight razor.
the mirror for? MALORY: So you could watch.
isn't it? Since we started scrabbling for
It's been a long night. ARCHER: Oh, yeah, wh-why are
ARCHER: What? CHERLENE: Ooh.
KRIEGER: Gross. CHERLENE: Oh, my God.
MALORY: Well, it was either that or...
(clears throat)
(thunder crashes)
(both shivering)
Who'd like to go first? (Cyril coughs)
No? All right, then I will.
Thank you, dear. For a moment there, I thought
I don't have any... (spraying)
PAM: It's actually whipped cocaine, so...
(Malory groans) MALORY: That explains where
some of it went. CHERLENE: Mmm, and the tingly
numbness of my nipples. MALORY: And why are you
CHERLENE: Duh, we were shooting my album cover.
not a... Amish Bible! PAM: You got to sex that shit
up sexy. KRIEGER: Um...
CHERLENE: I think it's pretty sexy.
PAM: You think that's sexy? With the rocket pops...
outside of you. CHERLENE: I mean...
You know? Let's kind of see where that leads.
film in this? CHERLENE: Goddamn it!
PAM: Krieger! LANA: So, I have a question.
What do you even call that? Food porn?
good country album cover or you call it food porn?
(Cherlene squealing) CHERLENE: These things are
freezing! KRIEGER: Film, film, film,
get art. PAM: You obviously don't.
And it's not that we don't appreciate criticism.