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Clips from Archer - The Archer Sanction (S06E06)

"I dunno, it just feels weird."
Archer
"That's just the altitude, dummy."
Archer
"I'm talking about the--"
Archer
"Try popping your ears, go like this..."
Archer
"Mawp, mawp, mawp, mawwwwwwp!"
Archer
"Goddammit, it's not my ears! What?"
Archer
"Sorry, my ears won't pop."
Archer
"Ray, did you bring gum? No."
Archer
"Well great, trip's ruined."
Archer
"Sorry, Ray forgot to bring gum--"
Archer
"I'm talking about the fact"
Archer
"that we're about to climb a Swiss goddamn frickin Alp"
Archer
"to assassinate somebody!"
Archer
"The target's an assassin, Lana,"
Archer
"not a king, or a pope, or a-- vice-pope."
Archer
"So it's not assassination. It's just a extrajudicial killing."
Archer
"And that makes it better."
Archer
"Yes, Lana, that's why they made up"
Archer
"a whole different word for it."
Archer
"And the CIA told mother the target has killed judges"
Archer
"and prosecutors and bankers and generals all over the world,"
Archer
"so God knows how many actual assassinations"
Archer
"we'll be preventing."
Archer
"And of course your mother would do anything to impress the CIA."
Archer
"- So... - Oh my God!"
Archer
"You have to try this! Hot cocoa, dark creme de cacao,"
Archer
"hint of creme de menthe, and peppermint schnapps."
Archer
"I call it a Peppermint Patty."
Archer
"Here."
Archer
"Wow, that is your major loss."
Archer
"Ooh, can I try it? No."
Archer
"How hard is it to remember gum?"
Archer
"Okay, so tonight we infiltrate this swanky climbing party."
Archer
"Then tomorrow we extra-judicially kill this guy."
Archer
"Yeah, or woman."
Archer
"Wait, what? Excuse me?"
Archer
"We kill whoever it is."
Archer
"You don't know who the target is?"
Archer
"I mean... Ugh, God dammit."
Archer
"And since you obviously didn't read the mission dossier--"
Archer
"For your information, Lana... I skimmed it."
Archer
"And bully for you. Give it here."
Archer
"Ah."
Archer
"God dammit! Where the hell is it?"
Archer
"I assume on the back of my toilet."
Archer
"What, Lana? Look at all the shit I had to pack."
Archer
"I don't know what people are gonna be wearing for apres-montee!"
Archer
"S-- And Ray didn't bring the gum!"
Archer
"Ah."
Archer
"Witch..."
Archer
"Just like every car trip I ever took with mom and daddy."
Archer
"Only I'm not getting whipped with a fan belt."
Archer
"Lana, wait! I just remembered a crucial detail about the target."
Archer
"I made a mental note of it at the time."
Archer
"Oh! Oh, my..."
Archer
"And you must be our late reservations."
Archer
"Good to see some fellow Americans."
Archer
"I'm your guide, Crash McCarran."
Archer
"Is-- um... I thought there were three of you."
Archer
"One of us is weeping in the car."
Archer
"Oh. Uh, okay,"
Archer
"well, come on in and meet the rest of the climbing party."
Archer
"That's Hans Hessler, from Germany."
Archer
"Guten Abend."
Archer
"Mario Savino, from Italy..."
Archer
"Buonasera."
Archer
"And Michiko Ishikawa, from Japan. Konbanwa."
Archer
"We're just heading into the bar for some gluhwein."
Archer
"Why don't you join us when you're ready?"
Archer
"Well? What's this "crucial detail""
Archer
"you remembered about the target?"
Archer
"The target was from a country that in World War Two,"
Archer
"was an Axis power."
Archer
"Ray forgot the gum."
Archer
"So... how'd you get the name Crash?"
Archer
"Oh, it's a long story..."
Archer
"about me saving the lives of eight other climbers"
Archer
"right after an avalanche."
Archer
"Sploosh. Sploosh."
Archer
"Sorry? Is I bet the sound an avalanche makes."
Archer
"Uh, no, it's more like a freight train full of tornadoes,"
Archer
"which are in turn full of smaller freight trains."
Archer
"Which are in turn full of shit. Sorry?"
Archer
"She just had a baby."
Archer
"Ya know... I didn't."
Archer
"Okay, well, we've got"
Archer
"an extremely difficult climb tomorrow, guys,"
Archer
"so you might wanna take it easy on the..."
Archer
"C'mon, if you've climbed it..."
Archer
"how hard can it be?"
Archer
"Die Totenspitz..."
Archer
"For those of you who don't speak German, that means..."
Archer
"Herr Hessler? Ze peak... of death."
Archer
"Fifteen thousand feet of some of the most dangerous climbing in all of Europe."
Archer
"Unstable seracs, frequent avalanches,"
Archer
"and hundreds of crevasses"
Archer
"that can swallow entire climbing parties in a split-second."
Archer
"One in every seven climbers"
Archer
"who has dared to climb die Totenspitz"
Archer
"has paid with his life."
Archer
"So yes, she's earned her name, alri --"
Archer
"Okay people, I want a good alpine start tomorrow,"
Archer
"so pack your gear and get some sleep."
Archer
"We head out at dawn."
Archer
"And that's A.M.?"
Archer
"As opposed to?"
Archer
"P.M. dawn?"
Archer
"Set adrift on memory bliss. Come on, buddy."
Archer
"The mountain is dangerous..."
Archer
"Very dangerous..."
Archer
"So you should watch your step."
Archer
"Okay, great climb, everybody!"
Archer
"Yaaaaaaay..."
Archer
"So, instead of antagonizing the person responsible for our safety--"
Archer
"What, shamelessly flirt with him?"
Archer
"Was it obvious?"
Archer
"Maybe call Malory on the sat-phone,"
Archer
"and find out who the damn target is!"
Archer
"One step ahead of you!"
Archer
"May I please have the sat-phone? Rrrgh..."
Archer
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