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Clips from Workaholics - Ditch Day (S05E05)

TV Series 2011 –2017 Season 5, Episode 6 22 min ★ 8.1/10 (59,513 ratings) 457 clips
Comedy

Episodes from this show

Title Season Episode
The Strike 1 6
Straight Up Juggahos 1 7
To Friend a Predator 1 8
Muscle I'd Like to Flex 1 9
In the Line of Getting Fired 1 10
Heist School 2 1
Dry Guys 2 2
Temp-Tress 2 3
Model Kombat 2 4
Old Man Ders 2 5
Stop! Pajama Time 2 6
Teenage Mutant Ninja Roommates 2 7
Karl's Wedding 2 8
Man Up 2 9
6 Hours Till Hedonism II 2 10
The Business Trip 3 1
True Dromance 3 2
Fat Cuz 3 3
To Kill a Chupacabraj 3 4
Good Mourning 3 5
The Meat Jerking Beef Boys 3 6
The Lord's Force 3 7
Real Time 3 8
Ders Comes in Handy 3 9
Flashback in the Day 3 10
Booger Nights 3 11
A TelAmerican Horror Story 3 12
Alice Quits 3 13
Fourth and Inches 3 14
Webcam Girl 3 15
High Art 3 16
The Worst Generation 3 17
Hungry Like the Wolf Dog 3 18
In Line 3 19
The Future Is Gnar 3 20
Orgazmo Birth 4 1
Fry Guys 4 2
Snackers 4 3
Miss BS 4 4
Three and a Half Men 4 5
Title Season Episode
Brociopath 4 6
We Be Clownin' 4 7
Beer Heist 4 8
Best Buds 4 9
Timechair 4 10
The One Where the Guys Play Basketball and Do the Friends Title Thing 4 11
DeputyDong 4 12
Friendship Anniversary 4 13
Dorm Daze 5 1
Front Yard Wrestling 5 2
Speedo Racer 5 3
Menergy Crisis 5 4
Gayborhood 5 5
Ditch Day 5 6
Gramps DeMamp Is Dead 5 7
Blood Drive 5 8
Wedding Thrashers 5 9
Trivia Pursuits 5 10
The Slump 5 11
Peyote It Forward 5 12
TAC in the Day 5 13
Wolves of Rancho 6 1
Meth Head Actor 6 2
Save the Cat 6 3
Death of a Salesdude 6 4
Gone Catfishing 6 5
Going Viral 6 6
Night at the Dudeseum 6 7
The Fabulous Murphy Sisters 6 8
Always Bet on Blake 6 9
The Nuttin' Professor 6 10
Trainees' Day 7 1
Weed the People 7 2
Bill & Tez's Sexcellent Sexventure 7 4
Faux Chella 7 5
The Most Dangerless Game 7 6
Termidate 7 8
Bianca Toro 7 9
Party Gawds 7 10
But it is real
"But it is real"
Workaholics
Can I help you?
"Can I help you?"
Workaholics
Yeah. How much you want for this junk?
"Yeah. How much you want for this junk?"
Workaholics
How 'bout a quabillion jillion trillion dollars?
"How 'bout a quabillion jillion trillion dollars?"
Workaholics
This isn't a yard sale, you bitch ass.
"This isn't a yard sale, you bitch ass."
Workaholics
- Bitch ass? - Yeah, I said bitch ass. Put it down.
"- Bitch ass? - Yeah, I said bitch ass. Put it down."
Workaholics
Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
"Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa."
Workaholics
- Hey, man. - Easy, man. Hands off.
"- Hey, man. - Easy, man. Hands off."
Workaholics
- Put down my record, bro. - Wey-oh.
"- Put down my record, bro. - Wey-oh."
Workaholics
Put down my record!
"Put down my record!"
Workaholics
Hey, guys!
"Hey, guys!"
Workaholics
Something's going down in the front yard. Check it out!
"Something's going down in the front yard. Check it out!"
Workaholics
There I go.
"There I go."
Workaholics
- Hey, Karl! - Bring the tone down.
"- Hey, Karl! - Bring the tone down."
Workaholics
- Back it off. - Keep your hands off me.
"- Back it off. - Keep your hands off me."
Workaholics
What the hell are you doing?
"What the hell are you doing?"
Workaholics
- Dean, we'll handle this scandal. - All right, man. See that you do.
"- Dean, we'll handle this scandal. - All right, man. See that you do."
Workaholics
Thank you so much. You saved me. Thank you.
"Thank you so much. You saved me. Thank you."
Workaholics
Karl, bud, it's too early for this. What's all this stuff, man?
"Karl, bud, it's too early for this. What's all this stuff, man?"
Workaholics
Oh, dude, this stuff is my Mexican stuff.
"Oh, dude, this stuff is my Mexican stuff."
Workaholics
- I've been getting hella into Mexico lately. - Oh. Ooh.
"- I've been getting hella into Mexico lately. - Oh. Ooh."
Workaholics
- Oh, yeah? - I actually need to go back down there
"- Oh, yeah? - I actually need to go back down there"
Workaholics
right now to help some coyotes do a border run.
"right now to help some coyotes do a border run."
Workaholics
So if you guys don't mind, I'd... I'd love to leave this stuff inside your house.
"So if you guys don't mind, I'd... I'd love to leave this stuff inside your house."
Workaholics
- Okay. All right. - (CHUCKLING)
"- Okay. All right. - (CHUCKLING)"
Workaholics
You got one trip.
"You got one trip."
Workaholics
Anything you can get in the house in one trip can stay.
"Anything you can get in the house in one trip can stay."
Workaholics
All this other shite got to go.
"All this other shite got to go."
Workaholics
That's cool. I already know what I'm gonna do.
"That's cool. I already know what I'm gonna do."
Workaholics
(SCREAMING)
"(SCREAMING)"
Workaholics
BLAKE: Come on. Get it, boy.
"BLAKE: Come on. Get it, boy."
Workaholics
Get it, boy. Live there. You got this.
"Get it, boy. Live there. You got this."
Workaholics
- Finish line's right there. - Yeah! Whoo!
"- Finish line's right there. - Yeah! Whoo!"
Workaholics
- What do you need? - I need water.
"- What do you need? - I need water."
Workaholics
No, no, no. No, we said no water.
"No, no, no. No, we said no water."
Workaholics
Right there, across the plank. You got this. You got this.
"Right there, across the plank. You got this. You got this."
Workaholics
- (SCREAMING) - You got this!
"- (SCREAMING) - You got this!"
Workaholics
Ahhh! No!
"Ahhh! No!"
Workaholics
- (SCREAMS) - Yay!
"- (SCREAMS) - Yay!"
Workaholics
Oh, ho, ho, ho. Blanket.
"Oh, ho, ho, ho. Blanket."
Workaholics
- Blanket on the ground. - That's my favorite blanket.
"- Blanket on the ground. - That's my favorite blanket."
Workaholics
- That's all right. - It belongs to the outside now, bitch.
"- That's all right. - It belongs to the outside now, bitch."
Workaholics
(SINGING) I'm fresh
"(SINGING) I'm fresh"
Workaholics
You gotta, you gotta You gotta, gotta
"You gotta, you gotta You gotta, gotta"
Workaholics
Gotta be fresh
"Gotta be fresh"
Workaholics
- (GRUNTS) - Whoa, is that a full body shot of Olmec?
"- (GRUNTS) - Whoa, is that a full body shot of Olmec?"
Workaholics
I've never seen his lower half.
"I've never seen his lower half."
Workaholics
Is this a Legends of the Hidden Temple tell-all?
"Is this a Legends of the Hidden Temple tell-all?"
Workaholics
Dude, probably.
"Dude, probably."
Workaholics
Everything cool comes from Mexico. You know, tacos and...
"Everything cool comes from Mexico. You know, tacos and..."
Workaholics
- Where's your blanket though? - Oh, hey, uh...
"- Where's your blanket though? - Oh, hey, uh..."
Workaholics
These right here in the bag, they're in a bag for a reason.
"These right here in the bag, they're in a bag for a reason."
Workaholics
They are muy caliente... Burning your skin off.
"They are muy caliente... Burning your skin off."
Workaholics
- Don't let 'em touch you. All right? - All right.
"- Don't let 'em touch you. All right? - All right."
Workaholics
- Sweet. - Awesome. This right here is very important.
"- Sweet. - Awesome. This right here is very important."
Workaholics
I need to ask a favor of you.
"I need to ask a favor of you."
Workaholics
I have a business associate stopping by tomorrow to pick that up.
"I have a business associate stopping by tomorrow to pick that up."
Workaholics
Don't open it. It says it right there.
"Don't open it. It says it right there."
Workaholics
- It does. Right on the front. - Yeah, I read that, too, but I was like,
"- It does. Right on the front. - Yeah, I read that, too, but I was like,"
Workaholics
"It's like a suggestion."
""It's like a suggestion.""
Workaholics
But I really want to know, "What's in the box?
"But I really want to know, "What's in the box?"
Workaholics
"What's in the box?"
""What's in the box?""
Workaholics
Like from that scary movie, Se7en? With Brad Pitt?
"Like from that scary movie, Se7en? With Brad Pitt?"
Workaholics
I'm sorry. I haven't seen movies.
"I'm sorry. I haven't seen movies."
Workaholics
But I know who Brad Pitt is. I see his face on the magazine blankets
"But I know who Brad Pitt is. I see his face on the magazine blankets"
Workaholics
that keep me warm at night.
"that keep me warm at night."
Workaholics
- Magazine blankets. - Okay, but, like,
"- Magazine blankets. - Okay, but, like,"
Workaholics
what is "in the box" actually, though?
"what is "in the box" actually, though?"
Workaholics
We don't want to know what's in the box, okay?
"We don't want to know what's in the box, okay?"
Workaholics
Don't tell us, 'cause we're not some shady FedEx Kinko's
"Don't tell us, 'cause we're not some shady FedEx Kinko's"
Workaholics
with package pickup availability, okay?
"with package pickup availability, okay?"
Workaholics
Okay, well I have 2,000 reasons that says otherwise.
"Okay, well I have 2,000 reasons that says otherwise."
Workaholics
- These are all dollars. - Oh. Well, hell yeah.
"- These are all dollars. - Oh. Well, hell yeah."
Workaholics
- We'll do it. Come on. Give me the money. - Oh, my gosh.
"- We'll do it. Come on. Give me the money. - Oh, my gosh."
Workaholics
I'll give you one G now and then another G upon completion, okay?
"I'll give you one G now and then another G upon completion, okay?"
Workaholics
I love that you're giving us money, but it's "T" s.
"I love that you're giving us money, but it's "T" s."
Workaholics
- It's not "G" s. - Hmm?
"- It's not "G" s. - Hmm?"
Workaholics
It's thousands. Not "grousands."
"It's thousands. Not "grousands.""
Workaholics
- Hmm? - Oh, wow.
"- Hmm? - Oh, wow."
Workaholics
It's always been "G" s in my book. Let me change that.
"It's always been "G" s in my book. Let me change that."
Workaholics
BLAKE: I'm glad I'm here to teach you something.
"BLAKE: I'm glad I'm here to teach you something."
Workaholics
You guys, I think we should open the box.
"You guys, I think we should open the box."
Workaholics
I just want to know what we're dealing with.
"I just want to know what we're dealing with."
Workaholics
No, you can't open the box, Ders.
"No, you can't open the box, Ders."
Workaholics
It's definitely drugs, all right?
"It's definitely drugs, all right?"
Workaholics
As soon as you open the box, you're a drug dealer.
"As soon as you open the box, you're a drug dealer."
Workaholics
You leave the box closed,
"You leave the box closed,"
Workaholics
you're just a friendly neighborhood, like, box dealer. Like a UPS man or something.
"you're just a friendly neighborhood, like, box dealer. Like a UPS man or something."
Workaholics
I'm gonna go talk to Alice, get tomorrow off because I feel like I've been stacking
"I'm gonna go talk to Alice, get tomorrow off because I feel like I've been stacking"
Workaholics
a lot of cool points as of late, so I'm gonna go cash those in.
"a lot of cool points as of late, so I'm gonna go cash those in."
Workaholics
- Good call. - Cool points?
"- Good call. - Cool points?"
Workaholics
- Yeah. - Okay. Well, I've never heard of it,
"- Yeah. - Okay. Well, I've never heard of it,"
Workaholics
and it sounds really fake, like it doesn't exist.
"and it sounds really fake, like it doesn't exist."
Workaholics
Mmm, very, very, very real. It's, like, a real thing.
"Mmm, very, very, very real. It's, like, a real thing."
Workaholics
It's like when you do something cool, you get a cool point.
"It's like when you do something cool, you get a cool point."
Workaholics
Maybe you poop your pants. Cool points depleted.
"Maybe you poop your pants. Cool points depleted."
Workaholics
Maybe you piss yourself, or maybe you puke on your shirt...
"Maybe you piss yourself, or maybe you puke on your shirt..."
Workaholics
But if, sometimes if you puke a distance, then...
"But if, sometimes if you puke a distance, then..."
Workaholics
Then perhaps you get a cool point for projectile.
"Then perhaps you get a cool point for projectile."
Workaholics
That's cool. I'm at 68 right now and I'm about to get to 69,
"That's cool. I'm at 68 right now and I'm about to get to 69,"
Workaholics
which, in itself, you get extra cool points, for being close to 69,
"which, in itself, you get extra cool points, for being close to 69,"
Workaholics
because that's such a cool number.
"because that's such a cool number."
Workaholics
You actually would get a more... Okay.
"You actually would get a more... Okay."
Workaholics
I'm gonna... I'm gonna go talk to Alice then. Dicks.
"I'm gonna... I'm gonna go talk to Alice then. Dicks."
Workaholics
Thank you.
"Thank you."
Workaholics
ALICE: A day off?
"ALICE: A day off?"
Workaholics
All right, everyone. In the conference room, now.
"All right, everyone. In the conference room, now."
Workaholics
- Alice, I got your coffee. - Mmm-hmm.
"- Alice, I got your coffee. - Mmm-hmm."
Workaholics
(GAGS)
"(GAGS)"
Workaholics
- Jillian, this is ice cold. - Like your heart.
"- Jillian, this is ice cold. - Like your heart."
Workaholics
She is freaking Jeremy-Pived.
"She is freaking Jeremy-Pived."
Workaholics
I wonder if, like, my cool points depleted
"I wonder if, like, my cool points depleted"
Workaholics
when I got all that hot sauce in my eyes last week
"when I got all that hot sauce in my eyes last week"
Workaholics
from the burrito, and she must have seen it.
"from the burrito, and she must have seen it."
Workaholics
Is there something wrong with you people?
"Is there something wrong with you people?"
Workaholics
Because every day this week,
"Because every day this week,"
Workaholics
someone has come to me bitching and moaning about a new problem.
"someone has come to me bitching and moaning about a new problem."
Workaholics
Well, it ends now, because I don't give a fuck about your problems.
"Well, it ends now, because I don't give a fuck about your problems."
Workaholics
Hear that, Tez? No more coming to my office whining,
"Hear that, Tez? No more coming to my office whining,"
Workaholics
"Where my leads at? I don't got no lizz-eads."
""Where my leads at? I don't got no lizz-eads.""
Workaholics