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Clips from Workaholics - Speedo Racer (S05E05)

TV Series 2011–2017 Season 5, Episode 3 22 min ★ 8.1/10 (59,513 ratings) 504 clips
Comedy
- Here you go. - Put it in the box.
"- Here you go. - Put it in the box."
Workaholics
Thank you, sir. I'll check it.
"Thank you, sir. I'll check it."
Workaholics
- Looks like we're getting full. - Oh, my God.
"- Looks like we're getting full. - Oh, my God."
Workaholics
You see those mailman calves?
"You see those mailman calves?"
Workaholics
I hate that man. He comes over here, "Here, take the mail."
"I hate that man. He comes over here, "Here, take the mail.""
Workaholics
It's your job to put it in the box, man.
"It's your job to put it in the box, man."
Workaholics
- Oh, hey. Big naturals. - Nice.
"- Oh, hey. Big naturals. - Nice."
Workaholics
You like that. It's automo-bills.
"You like that. It's automo-bills."
Workaholics
Ders! Hey, check it out.
"Ders! Hey, check it out."
Workaholics
You've got mail from Crank Yankers.
"You've got mail from Crank Yankers."
Workaholics
ADAM: I wonder if I'm still banned in all AOL chat rooms.
"ADAM: I wonder if I'm still banned in all AOL chat rooms."
Workaholics
Chuck it, man. I don't need it.
"Chuck it, man. I don't need it."
Workaholics
What are you talking about? You didn't even open it yet, man.
"What are you talking about? You didn't even open it yet, man."
Workaholics
Could be a signed set photo from Booty Call.
"Could be a signed set photo from Booty Call."
Workaholics
Jamie Foxx? Didn't you ask him for one?
"Jamie Foxx? Didn't you ask him for one?"
Workaholics
Yes, I did, but that's not what it is.
"Yes, I did, but that's not what it is."
Workaholics
Hey, man. Come on. Don't open that.
"Hey, man. Come on. Don't open that."
Workaholics
Ooh... Irvine Central High School Alumni Swim Meet.
"Ooh... Irvine Central High School Alumni Swim Meet."
Workaholics
See, I knew it'd be something you like.
"See, I knew it'd be something you like."
Workaholics
I'm not going and I never will.
"I'm not going and I never will."
Workaholics
Whoa. Attitude.
"Whoa. Attitude."
Workaholics
Dude! Why aren't we going to a place?
"Dude! Why aren't we going to a place?"
Workaholics
I'm not going because the guy who runs the event, Troy Torpey,
"I'm not going because the guy who runs the event, Troy Torpey,"
Workaholics
got me voted off the state relay team in high school.
"got me voted off the state relay team in high school."
Workaholics
Okay, that doesn't seem right. How could he do that?
"Okay, that doesn't seem right. How could he do that?"
Workaholics
He told everyone on the team that I got a boner
"He told everyone on the team that I got a boner"
Workaholics
in the showers, in the locker room, which isn't true.
"in the showers, in the locker room, which isn't true."
Workaholics
So what? You got a boner in the shower.
"So what? You got a boner in the shower."
Workaholics
- No, I didn't. - I get boners all the time.
"- No, I didn't. - I get boners all the time."
Workaholics
I actually have one right now.
"I actually have one right now."
Workaholics
Peeping this hog.
"Peeping this hog."
Workaholics
This monster.
"This monster."
Workaholics
Peep this hog.
"Peep this hog."
Workaholics
You actually can't see it right now because it's so small.
"You actually can't see it right now because it's so small."
Workaholics
Anyways, dude, it's all good.
"Anyways, dude, it's all good."
Workaholics
This is your chance to go back and show those pricks from high school
"This is your chance to go back and show those pricks from high school"
Workaholics
what an awesome dude you've become, man.
"what an awesome dude you've become, man."
Workaholics
Jocks, they peak in high school, all right?
"Jocks, they peak in high school, all right?"
Workaholics
But nerds, they become Skrillex.
"But nerds, they become Skrillex."
Workaholics
Hey, guys, I was kidding. I've got a huge one.
"Hey, guys, I was kidding. I've got a huge one."
Workaholics
Like, I wasn't in either of those groups in high school.
"Like, I wasn't in either of those groups in high school."
Workaholics
Me neither.
"Me neither."
Workaholics
- I, like, did my own thing. - Right. Exactly.
"- I, like, did my own thing. - Right. Exactly."
Workaholics
You just sit in a corner. You watch them.
"You just sit in a corner. You watch them."
Workaholics
You study them. You learn how to laugh on cue.
"You study them. You learn how to laugh on cue."
Workaholics
(FORCED LAUGHTER)
"(FORCED LAUGHTER)"
Workaholics
- Yes. - Oh, my God.
"- Yes. - Oh, my God."
Workaholics
We would have been best friends in high school.
"We would have been best friends in high school."
Workaholics
Best friends, believe it!
"Best friends, believe it!"
Workaholics
(LAUGHING)
"(LAUGHING)"
Workaholics
We would have been best friends in high school.
"We would have been best friends in high school."
Workaholics
- Sorry, Blake. - I don't care.
"- Sorry, Blake. - I don't care."
Workaholics
- Yeah, you do. - No, no, no.
"- Yeah, you do. - No, no, no."
Workaholics
No, it's not a problem. I mean, I hung out with a bevy of ladies at lunch.
"No, it's not a problem. I mean, I hung out with a bevy of ladies at lunch."
Workaholics
- The lunch ladies, right? - Oh, well, you know.
"- The lunch ladies, right? - Oh, well, you know."
Workaholics
We would just kind of hang out in the cafeteria.
"We would just kind of hang out in the cafeteria."
Workaholics
'Cause they were lunch ladies.
"'Cause they were lunch ladies."
Workaholics
We would just sling taco boats.
"We would just sling taco boats."
Workaholics
No, we know the story of the lunch ladies.
"No, we know the story of the lunch ladies."
Workaholics
No, but they had the stories, okay.
"No, but they had the stories, okay."
Workaholics
- These girls had jokes! - The lunch ladies.
"- These girls had jokes! - The lunch ladies."
Workaholics
Yes, I worked in the cafeteria. They were lunch friends to me.
"Yes, I worked in the cafeteria. They were lunch friends to me."
Workaholics
Ders, we are going to that dumb, stupid, horrible-sounding swim thing.
"Ders, we are going to that dumb, stupid, horrible-sounding swim thing."
Workaholics
And you are going to go up to Torpey,
"And you are going to go up to Torpey,"
Workaholics
and you're gonna say, "We're not in high school anymore."
"and you're gonna say, "We're not in high school anymore.""
Workaholics
And you're going to prove to him
"And you're going to prove to him"
Workaholics
that you are the freaking top dog of them all, besides me.
"that you are the freaking top dog of them all, besides me."
Workaholics
All right, okay. Let's do it.
"All right, okay. Let's do it."
Workaholics
- I'm gonna go pack my speedos. - All right.
"- I'm gonna go pack my speedos. - All right."
Workaholics
BLAKE: Wait, wait, wait, whoa.
"BLAKE: Wait, wait, wait, whoa."
Workaholics
We were watching squirrels, though.
"We were watching squirrels, though."
Workaholics
Yes, we were. I'm sorry. I just...
"Yes, we were. I'm sorry. I just..."
Workaholics
Back to the squirrels again.
"Back to the squirrels again."
Workaholics
(SINGING) Back to the squirrels again
"(SINGING) Back to the squirrels again"
Workaholics
Back to the squirrels again Back to the squirrels again
"Back to the squirrels again Back to the squirrels again"
Workaholics
We're looking at squirrels in the front yard
"We're looking at squirrels in the front yard"
Workaholics
This is about to be so cool. (GROANS)
"This is about to be so cool. (GROANS)"
Workaholics
I'm so pumped, dude. Ders is gonna kill it.
"I'm so pumped, dude. Ders is gonna kill it."
Workaholics
Yeah, I'm excited.
"Yeah, I'm excited."
Workaholics
Hey, do you remember how we used to always crank it to Ders' old yearbooks?
"Hey, do you remember how we used to always crank it to Ders' old yearbooks?"
Workaholics
- Yeah, absolutely. Hottest high school ever. - The hottest!
"- Yeah, absolutely. Hottest high school ever. - The hottest!"
Workaholics
Yeah, I was always into Aurora Brown,
"Yeah, I was always into Aurora Brown,"
Workaholics
and then I got into Laura Rocca for a while.
"and then I got into Laura Rocca for a while."
Workaholics
But now I found this new chick.
"But now I found this new chick."
Workaholics
This banging black chick on Ders' swim team that I've been peeping.
"This banging black chick on Ders' swim team that I've been peeping."
Workaholics
And I've really been building something very special with her.
"And I've really been building something very special with her."
Workaholics
It's like, more than masturbation. It's, like, deeper.
"It's like, more than masturbation. It's, like, deeper."
Workaholics
So, like, you don't even masturbate to her?
"So, like, you don't even masturbate to her?"
Workaholics
No, I do, but it's like deeper.
"No, I do, but it's like deeper."
Workaholics
I get it, man. I mean, that whole swim team is stacked, dude.
"I get it, man. I mean, that whole swim team is stacked, dude."
Workaholics
They're a good-looking crew.
"They're a good-looking crew."
Workaholics
Yeah, there's like that Asa Akira-looking Asian chick?
"Yeah, there's like that Asa Akira-looking Asian chick?"
Workaholics
- Mama! - Ooh!
"- Mama! - Ooh!"
Workaholics
- She's got my jeans steaming. - Oh, I freaking...
"- She's got my jeans steaming. - Oh, I freaking..."
Workaholics
I love chicks.
"I love chicks."
Workaholics
All these chicks are about to be at this party today, man!
"All these chicks are about to be at this party today, man!"
Workaholics
They're definitely gonna be there today.
"They're definitely gonna be there today."
Workaholics
That's why I'm so freaking psyched and pumped.
"That's why I'm so freaking psyched and pumped."
Workaholics
Guys, I'm gonna ship out so wish me luck.
"Guys, I'm gonna ship out so wish me luck."
Workaholics
Actually, we were gonna go with if that's cool.
"Actually, we were gonna go with if that's cool."
Workaholics
All right. Cool!
"All right. Cool!"
Workaholics
- All right. - Yes!
"- All right. - Yes!"
Workaholics
All right. Cool.
"All right. Cool."
Workaholics
I actually feel I need to change.
"I actually feel I need to change."
Workaholics
I feel like I'm a little underdressed.
"I feel like I'm a little underdressed."
Workaholics
Yeah, me too. You got to have the perfect outfit
"Yeah, me too. You got to have the perfect outfit"
Workaholics
for these type of occasions.
"for these type of occasions."
Workaholics
Ders, are you read to...
"Ders, are you read to..."
Workaholics
Hyah!
"Hyah!"
Workaholics
This Torpey dude, or what?
"This Torpey dude, or what?"
Workaholics
- You know it, man. - Sick, man.
"- You know it, man. - Sick, man."
Workaholics
Oh, wait up. Before we go in there...
"Oh, wait up. Before we go in there..."
Workaholics
Um, just keep an eye on me and Adam 'cause we're not the strongest swimmers.
"Um, just keep an eye on me and Adam 'cause we're not the strongest swimmers."
Workaholics
- I'm very drown-able. - Okay.
"- I'm very drown-able. - Okay."
Workaholics
And, you know, the deep end.
"And, you know, the deep end."
Workaholics
It just will scare the churn out of me if you know what I mean.
"It just will scare the churn out of me if you know what I mean."
Workaholics
Semen.
"Semen."
Workaholics
No, 'rhea.
"No, 'rhea."
Workaholics
Oh, when I get really scared, I secrete semen.
"Oh, when I get really scared, I secrete semen."
Workaholics
- It's true. - ANDERS: You'll be fine, okay?
"- It's true. - ANDERS: You'll be fine, okay?"
Workaholics
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