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Clips from Workaholics - To Kill a Chupacabraj (S03E03)

TV Series 2011–2017 Season 3, Episode 4 22 min ★ 8.1/10 (59,513 ratings) 513 clips
Comedy
Man, this summer kickoff party's gonna be, like,
"Man, this summer kickoff party's gonna be, like,"
Workaholics
MTV Beach House throwback status.
"MTV Beach House throwback status."
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Daisy Fuentes's butt-cheeks are just gonna be flowing
"Daisy Fuentes's butt-cheeks are just gonna be flowing"
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- in the wind. - Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay!
"- in the wind. - Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay!"
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- That wasn't racist, was it? - She had s--that's a good one.
"- That wasn't racist, was it? - She had s--that's a good one."
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- It was a little. - Okay, well.
"- It was a little. - Okay, well."
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- It was a little racist. - Hey, uh, Dirk to Blaze.
"- It was a little racist. - Hey, uh, Dirk to Blaze."
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Any sign of what's clogging the drain, my main man?
"Any sign of what's clogging the drain, my main man?"
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Negative, dude.
"Negative, dude."
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I do see a barbeque down here, though,
"I do see a barbeque down here, though,"
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and a suitcase full of your clothes.
"and a suitcase full of your clothes."
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I'm almost to the drain. It's 2 meters.
"I'm almost to the drain. It's 2 meters."
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How's the air quality down there?
"How's the air quality down there?"
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It's okay, it's all right.
"It's okay, it's all right."
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But I could use a blow of the dro, sir.
"But I could use a blow of the dro, sir."
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Blowing dro.
"Blowing dro."
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He's blowing dro now. Over.
"He's blowing dro now. Over."
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I just blew the dro. Blew the dro.
"I just blew the dro. Blew the dro."
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Hey, Blaze, come on, man.
"Hey, Blaze, come on, man."
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Any sign of what's clogging the drain?
"Any sign of what's clogging the drain?"
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That's affirmative. There's something...
"That's affirmative. There's something..."
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Oh, my God, guys!
"Oh, my God, guys!"
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You're not gonna believe this.
"You're not gonna believe this."
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♪ I'm fresh
"♪ I'm fresh"
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♪ You gotta you gotta ♪
"♪ You gotta you gotta ♪"
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- ♪ You gotta, gotta - ♪ Gotta be fresh
"- ♪ You gotta, gotta - ♪ Gotta be fresh"
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Gentledudes, before you lies a fierce beast
"Gentledudes, before you lies a fierce beast"
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known to suck the brains out of humans and goats,
"known to suck the brains out of humans and goats,"
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driven from their habitat during the construction
"driven from their habitat during the construction"
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of the Rancho Garden Mall in '98.
"of the Rancho Garden Mall in '98."
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Heck, the scientists thought they moved up north.
"Heck, the scientists thought they moved up north."
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But I had a different hypothesis.
"But I had a different hypothesis."
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Looks like I was right.
"Looks like I was right."
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I give you... The Rancho Chupacabraj.
"I give you... The Rancho Chupacabraj."
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No, that is definitely our neighbor Mark's dog ambush.
"No, that is definitely our neighbor Mark's dog ambush."
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Covered in some of your hair and possibly jizz.
"Covered in some of your hair and possibly jizz."
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Not mine, though.
"Not mine, though."
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It's a Chupacabraj.
"It's a Chupacabraj."
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I can't believe you're carrying around a dead animal.
"I can't believe you're carrying around a dead animal."
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Well, I can't just leave this priceless artifact at home.
"Well, I can't just leave this priceless artifact at home."
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What happens if, like, Nicolas Cage rolls
"What happens if, like, Nicolas Cage rolls"
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- We need some, like, pool toys. - Yes.
"- We need some, like, pool toys. - Yes."
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Chicks are like cats, dude.
"Chicks are like cats, dude."
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If you don't keep their attention,
"If you don't keep their attention,"
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they'll wait for--on-- on top of the refrigerator.
"they'll wait for--on-- on top of the refrigerator."
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- Yep. - Welcome, gentlemen,
"- Yep. - Welcome, gentlemen,"
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to Tez's summer blowout special.
"to Tez's summer blowout special."
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I got everything you need. Games for the Dreamcast,
"I got everything you need. Games for the Dreamcast,"
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Playstation One, and free smoovies.
"Playstation One, and free smoovies."
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'Cause white folks love smoovies.
"'Cause white folks love smoovies."
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- Smoovies? - That's what I said.
"- Smoovies? - That's what I said."
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- Smoovies. - With a "v"?
"- Smoovies. - With a "v"?"
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Smoothies! Wait, what do y'all want?
"Smoothies! Wait, what do y'all want?"
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We're actually looking for pool toys and whatnot
"We're actually looking for pool toys and whatnot"
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- and what have you. - Pool toys.
"- and what have you. - Pool toys."
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Let me check my inven-- you know what?
"Let me check my inven-- you know what?"
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Can I interest you boys in some straw cowboy hats?
"Can I interest you boys in some straw cowboy hats?"
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Oh, that's a great idea.
"Oh, that's a great idea."
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Whenever chicks wear straw cowboy hats,
"Whenever chicks wear straw cowboy hats,"
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they turn into sex cattle, man. And cowgirl butts...
"they turn into sex cattle, man. And cowgirl butts..."
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- Just get my thing hard. - Mm-hmm.
"- Just get my thing hard. - Mm-hmm."
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Could you just show us to the pool supplies?
"Could you just show us to the pool supplies?"
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All right, it's or this way, and--
"All right, it's or this way, and--"
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Waymond, you touch it, you bought it.
"Waymond, you touch it, you bought it."
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Come on.
"Come on."
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He has the Space Jam soundtrack.
"He has the Space Jam soundtrack."
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Whoa, dudes, check this out.
"Whoa, dudes, check this out."
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Damn!
"Damn!"
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- Aw, yeah. - What?
"- Aw, yeah. - What?"
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That's the hover beast hovercraft.
"That's the hover beast hovercraft."
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Colleen won that in a Tropicana bikini contest.
"Colleen won that in a Tropicana bikini contest."
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150 horsepower engine. Four-blade warp drive prop.
"150 horsepower engine. Four-blade warp drive prop."
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- And it's all yours for $500. - Dude.
"- And it's all yours for $500. - Dude."
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If we get this thing, man, it'll vault our party
"If we get this thing, man, it'll vault our party"
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into the most awesomest maximus event of the summer.
"into the most awesomest maximus event of the summer."
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- Ah, brain freeze. - Montez Walker
"- Ah, brain freeze. - Montez Walker"
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- on the invite list? - Never.
"- on the invite list? - Never."
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How about I give you $200?
"How about I give you $200?"
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Y'all talk about that.
"Y'all talk about that."
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No, no, no, no, no. We can't spend that much money,
"No, no, no, no, no. We can't spend that much money,"
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because then we won't have enough money
"because then we won't have enough money"
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for the cowboy hats, and if we don't have cowboy hats,
"for the cowboy hats, and if we don't have cowboy hats,"
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how am I gonna save a horse, ride a cowgirl?
"how am I gonna save a horse, ride a cowgirl?"
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If we have a hovercraft, we don't need cowboy hats.
"If we have a hovercraft, we don't need cowboy hats."
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- Yeah. - Hovercrafts are aphrodisiacs.
"- Yeah. - Hovercrafts are aphrodisiacs."
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They're basically... oysters of the ocean.
"They're basically... oysters of the ocean."
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Yummy.
"Yummy."
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Yeah, I guess you're right. Plus, you know what?
"Yeah, I guess you're right. Plus, you know what?"
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We could charge people money to ride on the hovercraft
"We could charge people money to ride on the hovercraft"
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and also money to take pictures with the Chupacabraj.
"and also money to take pictures with the Chupacabraj."
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At this point now, we're making money.
"At this point now, we're making money."
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We're making money off our party.
"We're making money off our party."
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Guys, we could just buy it and return it next week.
"Guys, we could just buy it and return it next week."
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Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. I heard that.
"Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. I heard that."
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No refunds around here.
"No refunds around here."
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- All sales final. - How did he hear that?
"- All sales final. - How did he hear that?"
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$450, plus you throw in
"$450, plus you throw in"
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all the straw cowboy hats we can eat, and that's a deal.
"all the straw cowboy hats we can eat, and that's a deal."
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And whatever's in arm's reach.
"And whatever's in arm's reach."
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- And this--this suit. - Whoa, cool!
"- And this--this suit. - Whoa, cool!"
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- Sold! - Okay!
"- Sold! - Okay!"
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- Yes! - But you be careful
"- Yes! - But you be careful"
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in that suit. It's powerful.
"in that suit. It's powerful."
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It makes women just...
"It makes women just..."
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They just
"They just"
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Waymond! Get over here and get a sendoff picture
"Waymond! Get over here and get a sendoff picture"
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- like we at the Saturn dealer. - There we go.
"- like we at the Saturn dealer. - There we go."
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- All right. - Charge that to the game.
"- All right. - Charge that to the game."
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Cool.
"Cool."
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All right, Ders, fire this puppy up.
"All right, Ders, fire this puppy up."
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- Whoo! - You got it!
"- Whoo! - You got it!"
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Here we go.
"Here we go."
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- Land-ho! - Ahoy!
"- Land-ho! - Ahoy!"
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Oh, captain, this is going down!
"Oh, captain, this is going down!"
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I don't like when your mom visits.
"I don't like when your mom visits."
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She's always flirting with me.
"She's always flirting with me."
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She's got those big titties like you.
"She's got those big titties like you."
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- No sale! - What in the is going--
"- No sale! - What in the is going--"
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We want our $450 back,
"We want our $450 back,"
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because the hovercraft you sold us
"because the hovercraft you sold us"
Workaholics