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Clips from Workaholics - Real Time (S03E03)

"You give out laser-pointer key chains,"
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"I mean, are you thick?"
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"and I would say,"
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"'cause I just called her work phone."
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"- What? - Did you?"
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"Leave a voicemail."
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"- are no leader. - Yeah!"
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"Tits are rad!"
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"You don't know how to delegate."
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"Bitch, you got too many teeth in your mouth."
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"I hate you!"
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"I don't know."
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"Blake, let's go."
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"That's weird. I don't even feel hungover."
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"- Yep, I'll meet you guys there. - Wait, where are you going?"
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"- Inside. We need beers. - Wait, no!"
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"Yeah! Blood alcohol level!"
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"Yeah, yeah. Oh, Adam!"
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"- You got it. - Oh, and Adam?"
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"- Stay up. - I will."
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"Always."
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"so I couldn't take it, and I finally just called her"
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"♪ And I've had it up to here"
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"Ders, I'm fading! Breathalyze me!"
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"- She's a grown adult... - Here it is."
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"That looks like a baby."
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"- Tell me you can do that. - I'd say yeah..."
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"Considering I know Alice Murray better than she knows herself."
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"It's Alice Murphy, actually."
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"I'm bitchy. I'm very bitchy."
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".10. We are dangerously close to being hungover."
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"Oh, I feel a headache."
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"Hey, okay, would you just be a bus angel"
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"no stops or anything? We've got a work emergency."
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"Guys, we're not going anywhere till everyone's on the bus."
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"So sit down."
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"right down there, if you want to see that."
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"Handkerchief. Gross."
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"Tuck the pole. Watch your eyes, everybody."
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"Anybody? Any kind of alcohol?"
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"It's a good... Oh, my God! Get down!"
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"- What? - Get down! It's Alice!"
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"chasing the American dream, and we made a big mistake."
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"If so, I'm begging you to go straight to 24th and Crocker"
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"I'm looking at the goddamn mom Teresa in front of me?"
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"I'm okay with that, considering..."
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"or don't go directly to Telamericorp,"
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"Oh, he's fine."
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"Oh, oh, man. No, I can't do this."
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"I've never been so not drunk in my life, man."
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"We are not giving up! Okay?"
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"and I will buy us some booze"
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"- Oh, God. Oh! - Just sit down."
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"You're good. Let's get this."
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"- Handle that, okay? - Burrito? Yes, yes."
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"A little more of the medicine. There it is."
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"The doctor prescribed some go juice!"
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"What a good little baby."
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"Let's kill the pain. Kill the pain in my brain, man."
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"It's all taken care of."
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"Who is this?"
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"And then Montez sent out this funny video"
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"of just dads sneezing."
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"We're taking 'em just in case the beer wears off."
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"Dude, get with it, okay? They're gonna act all bitchy,"
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"Come on, dude. They're like 15, tops."
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"Dude, we're 15 minutes from losing everything."
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"It's just bean and cheese, man."
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"What do you say? Uh, we're all young adults."
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"Well, yeah, I don't know, mom."
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"- What? - Uh-oh."
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"you'll never amount to anything."
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"Whoa!"
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"- Hey, clerk. - Down here."
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"She's a shoplifter. She's stealing."
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"Just the coffee?"
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"All right, I'm gonna turn around!"
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"Come on, get your mind out of the gutter, you sick freak."
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"Good morning."
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"Ders-ie, guess who's about to be skitching?"
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"- What? - Oh! Ow!"
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"Pfft! Yeah. Just blading on into work."
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"Hey, suck my di... ass!"
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"Uh-oh, blazer, hold on!"
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"We're about to bunny hop this muh..."
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"Y'all ain't gonna be able to make it!"
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"Oh, Ders, be careful!"
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"I'm sick and tired of being careful!"
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"Fuck you!"
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"and I accidentally deleted Alice's outgoing message,"
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"and now I have to record a new one."
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"I'm Alice, and this is my voice,"
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"It's a quicker route."
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"It's the scenic. Do you like beauty?"
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"In Rancho Cucamonga?"
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"but it's Rancho Cucamonga, let's get prehistoric."
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"Hello, you've reached Alice. I'm the boss,"
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"- Blake! - Blake! Whoa, dude!"
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"It's just been kind of a nightmare of a week."
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"Dude, wake up!"
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"- Move your hair. - Move your hair!"
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"Ders, where are you going?"
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"Okay, Blake, I'm gonna call someone."
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"I've got her birthday, social security number,"
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"ATM, height, weight, skull circumference."
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"Put it... I said...!"
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"Hup!"
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"but to me it's just OCD, you know."
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"So your OCD makes you weigh people's phones?"
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"Hey, why don't you go out into the parking lot"
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"and take care of your dumbass friends"
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"No, my password is your birthday."
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"Didn't."
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"Jillian, I thought telling you"
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"but apparently it's not."
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"- We know. We hear you. - You're a great twirker."
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"- Shhh, shhh, shhh. - I can't wait to hear it."
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"God, Alice was being such a dickhead today, huh?"
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"and you expect us to be adult enough not to play with them?"
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"You were just pointing 'em at people's crotches."
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