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Clips from Friends - The One with All the Resolutions (S05E05)

"Is there any entertainment there?"
Friends
"All right. Here we go. 1999, the year of Joey."
Friends
"We're very happy for you."
Friends
"What's the matter?"
Friends
"We wanted to kiss at midnight, but nobody else is going to so, you know..."
Friends
"- All right, I'll take care of it. - Oh, no."
Friends
"Joey."
Friends
"- Thirty-three, 32, 31. - Ross, Ross, Ross."
Friends
"Listen, who are you kissing at midnight? Rachel or Phoebe?"
Friends
"- What? - Well, you gotta kiss someone."
Friends
"- Can't kiss your sister. - Who's gonna kiss my sister?"
Friends
"- Chandler. - Oh, man. Really?"
Friends
"Who would you rather have kiss your sister?"
Friends
"- That's a good point. - Yeah."
Friends
"Uh, well, since I have that whole history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe."
Friends
"Okay, great. Pheebs, Pheebs. Listen. Ross wants to kiss you at midnight."
Friends
"So obvious. Why doesn't he just ask?"
Friends
"Rach, Rach. Listen, I'm going to kiss you at midnight."
Friends
"- What? - You can't kiss Ross. You got the history."
Friends
"- So? - So?"
Friends
"- Would you prefer me or Chandler? - Oh, good point."
Friends
"ALL: Three, two, one."
Friends
"Happy New Year!"
Friends
"[NOISE MAKERS BLARING]"
Friends
"- Happy New Year. - Happy New Year."
Friends
"- Happy New Year, Pheebs. - You too."
Friends
"Happy New Year, Joey."
Friends
"So that do anything for you?"
Friends
"You know what?"
Friends
"I'm going to go out on a limb and say, No divorces in '99."
Friends
"[BLOWS NOISE MAKER]"
Friends
"But your divorce isn't even final yet."
Friends
"Just the one divorce in '99."
Friends
"[BLOWS NOISE MAKER]"
Friends
"You know what? I'm gonna be happy this year."
Friends
"I'm gonna make myself happy."
Friends
"Do you want us to leave the room or?"
Friends
"Every day, I am going to do one thing I have never done before."
Friends
"That, my friends, is my New Year's resolution."
Friends
"- Ooh. That's a good one. ROSS: Yeah?"
Friends
"Mine is to pilot a commercial jet."
Friends
"That's a good one too. Now you only have to find a planeload of people..."
Friends
"...whose resolution is to plummet to their deaths."
Friends
"Maybe your resolution should be not to make fun of your friends."
Friends
"Especially the ones who may soon be flying you to Europe for free..."
Friends
"...on their own plane."
Friends
"She has a better chance of sprouting wings and flying up your nose..."
Friends
"...than you do of not making fun of us."
Friends
"In fact, I'll bet you 50 bucks you can't go the whole year without making fun of us."
Friends
"You know what? Better yet, a week."
Friends
"I'll take that bet, my friend."
Friends
"And you know what? Paying me the 50 bucks can be..."
Friends
"...the new thing you do that day."
Friends
"And it starts right now."
Friends
"All right, my New Year's resolution is to learn how to play guitar."
Friends
"- Really? How come? ROSS: Ah."
Friends
"You know those special skills I have listed on my résumé?"
Friends
"I would love it if one of those was true."
Friends
"Do you want me to teach you? I'm a great teacher."
Friends
"Really? Who have you taught?"
Friends
"Well, I taught me and I loved me."
Friends
"That'd be great. Yeah, thanks, Pheebs."
Friends
"Oh, look. Blaire forgot her glasses."
Friends
"She's gonna be needing these to keep an eye on that boyfriend."
Friends
"Who, from what I hear, needs to keep his stapler..."
Friends
"...in his desk drawer, if you know what I'm talking about."
Friends
"Hey, Rach, maybe your resolution should be to, um, gossip less."
Friends
"What? I don't gossip."
Friends
"[JOEY & CHANDLER LAUGH]"
Friends
"Maybe sometimes I find out things."
Friends
"Or I hear something and I pass that information on."
Friends
"You know, kind of like a public service."
Friends
"Doesn't mean I'm a gossip. I mean, would you call Ted Koppel a gossip?"
Friends
"Well, if Ted Koppel talked about his coworkers' botched boob jobs..."
Friends
"...yeah, I would."
Friends
"Well, they were like this."
Friends
"- I'll see you tomorrow. - Okay."
Friends
"- Hey. - Hey."
Friends
"I just asked that girl out."
Friends
"- Nice. - Nice. Yeah."
Friends
"Is that part of your resolution, your new thing for today?"
Friends
"Yes, it is. See?"
Friends
"Elizabeth..."
Friends
"...Hornswoggle?"
Friends
"That's right."
Friends
"Elizabeth Hornswoggle."
Friends
"Hornswoggle."
Friends
"You okay, Chandler? Is there something...?"
Friends
"Something funny about that name?"
Friends
"No, no, I just think that maybe I've heard it somewhere before."
Friends
"Oh, really? Where?"
Friends
"Somewhere funny I'll bet."
Friends
"- Hey, Pheebs. Guess what? - Hey."
Friends
"Uh, I have a date with, uh, Elizabeth Hornswoggle."
Friends
"Hornswoggle?"
Friends
"Oh, this must be killing you."
Friends
"- All right, see you later. - See you."
Friends
"All right, Pheebs, I am ready for my first lesson."
Friends
"Okay. Oh, no, no, you don't touch the guitar."
Friends
"No, no. First you learn here, then you learn here."
Friends
"- Oh. Okay. PHOEBE: Okay."
Friends
"- Okay. Lesson One: Chords. JOEY: Ah."
Friends
"Now, um, I don't know the actual names of the chords, um..."
Friends
"But I made up names for the way my hand looks while I'm doing them."
Friends
"So then, this is Bear Claw."
Friends
"Okay, Turkey Leg..."
Friends
"...and Old Lady."
Friends
"What an interesting approach to guitar instruction."
Friends
"You know, some might find it amusing. I myself find it regular."
Friends
"Hey, everybody."
Friends
"Rachel was so good today. She didn't gossip at all."
Friends
"I didn't. Even when I found out, um..."
Friends
"All right, let's just say I found out something about someone..."
Friends
"...and let's just say..."
Friends
"...she's gonna keep it."
Friends
"Hey, Pheebs. Check this out."
Friends
"Ooh. You nailed the Old Lady. Oh!"
Friends
"Oh, ha, ha!"
Friends
"Hey, listen, I thought I was getting better..."
Friends
"...so on my way home today I stopped by this guitar store..."
Friends
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