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Clips from Friends - The One Where Rachel Finds Out (S01E01)

"This sure trumps the "Has he pooped?" series."
Friends
"Ross, we love him, okay?"
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"How excited can we get?"
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"- What you got? - 400 pictures of Ben on a rug."
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"- Oh, my God! - Let me see!"
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"That would be nice."
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"Thank you, God. This will bring us so much joy."
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"Cook meat."
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"Cute."
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"- Melanie called. She'll be late. - Okay."
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"Crazy bitch."
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"I got a week left to go. According to the rules..."
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"...I can't conduct personal experiments, if you know what I mean."
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"I'm going to try to persuade them. It's a whole big bone thing."
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"If you want to reach me, you can't. So here's my itinerary."
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""Hi, Ben. I'm your father.""
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"This barbecue's gonna be very fun."
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"- There's this guy she met at - The coffeehouse? Right."
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"I'll go say goodbye to the guys."
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"Hey, you know what? Tell them that bone story."
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"- I have to go to China. - The country?"
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"Rachel's having drinks with him tonight."
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"Yeah, I guess. I don't know."
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"What do you mean?"
Friends
"...Travel Scrabble!"
Friends
"Thank you."
Friends
"- Who's this from? - From Ross."
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"I told him it was like one my grandma had when I was little."
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"What did you just say?"
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"No, it's not. It's small. It's tiny. It's petite. It's wee."
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"...but nothing ever happened."
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"...he wouldn't mind getting a cup of coffee."
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"Is his flight gone?"
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"He's gone!"
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"His flight doesn't leave for 45 minutes."
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"- Ross! Excuse me, pardon me. - Your boarding pass?"
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"Sorry, you're not allowed here without a pass."
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"I'm sorry. Federal regulations!"
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"- This is very important. - All right. What's the message?"
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"I don't know."
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"Excuse me, sir! Excuse me, sir? I have a message for you."
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"Well, now we gotta find something fun for you."
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"Boy, somebody's gonna get a big fruit basket tomorrow!"
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"A woman!"
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"All right, I'm going to bed."
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"Okay. You guys want help cleaning up this mess?"
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"That'd be great."
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"- Is there someone else? - No, there is no one else."
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"Hey, big Spender!"
Friends
"Is something going on with O.J.?"
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"Why?"
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"I feel like I wouldn't just be going out with him."
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"Is the kind of crazy thing you won't be hearing from me."
Friends
"When a blind man gets his sight back, does he walk around like this?"
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"Can't do it, can you?"
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"I don't get it. What do you see in this guy?"
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"Ross, it's too hard."
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"Right! You're right."
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"- Where you going? - Airport."
Friends
"Chandler, relax. This is a good going to the airport."
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"Yes, another successful case for the love doctor."
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"Excuse me! Pardon me. Excuse me. Sorry."
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"Toby, for God's sake, will you let it go?"
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"Hey! I got that."
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"- Thanks, sweetie. - No problem."
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"Oh, here's little Ben falling asleep."
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"A little bit later. Is he gonna sleep?"
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"But right now he's just a little fat guy."
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"Here's little Ben nodding off."
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"Look at Aunt Monica's little boy!"
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"- Look, he's got Ross haircut. - Let me see."
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"Oh, God! Is he just the sweetest thing?"
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"You must just wanna kiss him all over."
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"- Pardon? - Nothing."
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"Just a little extra air in my mouth."
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"Chan, can you help me out? I'll pay you back."
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"Right. Including the waffles last week, you now owe me..."
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"...17 jillion dollars."
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"I'm helping out at the NYU Med School with research."
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"What kind of research?"
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"Just, you know, science."
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"Science."
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"It's a fertility study."
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"Joey, please tell me you're only donating your time."
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"Actually, a little more than that."
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"Come on, it's not that big a deal."
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"I just go down there every other day..."
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"...and make my contribution to the project."
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"But at the end of two weeks, I get $700!"
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"You're gonna be making money hand over fist."
Friends
"That's funny. Very funny."
Friends
"But what do you do to unwind after a tough day at work?"
Friends
"Okay, we got the coleslaw and buns."
Friends
"The ground-up flesh of formerly cute cows and turkeys."
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"I just love barbecuing with you."
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"Men are here!"
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"We make fire."
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"Put out fire by peeing, no get invited back."
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"How are things going? Is she becoming your "special someone"?"
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"I don't know. She's pretty great."
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"What does she think of your little science project?"
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"You think I'd tell a girl I like that I'm also seeing a cup?"
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"Man's got a point."
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"Joey, we always know what you mean."
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"How long did you think this barbecue would last?"
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"- I'm going to China. - Jeez, you say one thing, and...."
Friends
"- China? - For the museum. Someone found a bone."
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"Anyway, I'll be gone for a week."
Friends
"Could you show it to Ben every now and then so he doesn't forget me?"
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""I am The Head!""
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"- She's out having drinks with Carl. - Hey, who's Carl?"
Friends
"That guy she met at the coffeehouse."
Friends
"So you do know who he is."
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"No, this big pile of dishes in my mom's breakfront."
Friends
"Do you know who Carl is?"
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"How can she, when she's never shown interest in you?"
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"- Forget about her. - He's right."
Friends
"Please move on. Go to China. Eat Chinese food."
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"All right, just give her this for me, okay?"
Friends
"We're looking out for you. We want you to be happy."
Friends
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