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Clips from Friends - The One Where Rachel Smokes (S05E05)

"- Pick a card. - Okay."
Friends
"Ben takes one lousy walk in the park and gets an audition?"
Friends
"- Go get them. - Bye."
Friends
"...and then we're off to the big audition."
Friends
"It's gonna be weird seeing some actor pretending to be Ben's dad."
Friends
"Yeah, he's done tons of commercials."
Friends
"...and that one for the phone company."
Friends
"That's great."
Friends
"...but I just love this fabric. Sorry."
Friends
"...and they'd made all of the decisions without me."
Friends
"Oh, I changed my mind."
Friends
"- How did the audition go? - Not so good."
Friends
"Yeah, I am!"
Friends
"No, no, no. We'll move. You stay there."
Friends
"You know what I mean? Like, doobies?"
Friends
"Is it a good sign that they asked us to hang around after?"
Friends
"Okay. We have narrowed it down to Raymond, Ben, Kyle and Joey."
Friends
"The rest of you, thank you very much."
Friends
"Ah. Bye-bye."
Friends
"Well, I've been thinking about this whole commercial thing."
Friends
"You're gonna let me do this? This is my career we're talking about here."
Friends
"I wish I had to smoke for my career."
Friends
"Good luck, Rach."
Friends
"Tell me about it."
Friends
"You know, we really should quit. Okay, let's quit."
Friends
"Give it. Give it. Out. Done. Quit. Whoo!"
Friends
"I mean, Ben. Ben."
Friends
"Well, this is noodle soup. And I've been working with tomato."
Friends
"Oh, no, I could do it one more time."
Friends
"Yeah, that didn't work out."
Friends
"That's the surprise."
Friends
"Listen, man. I'm sorry the audition didn't go well."
Friends
"All right. Now memorize it."
Friends
"- You got it? - Oh, yes."
Friends
"Okay. Is that your card?"
Friends
"- Yes. - Ha, ha."
Friends
"- Hey, guys. - Hi there."
Friends
"Guess what. Ben is gonna be in a TV commercial."
Friends
"But, uh, we met this guy in the park who thought Ben was really cute."
Friends
"You know, which he is. Um, anyhoo, he gave us his card..."
Friends
"...and told us to bring him down for this commercial he's auditioning."
Friends
"Whoa."
Friends
"The guy's like the biggest commercial casting director in town."
Friends
"Man, I've been in that park a million times. No one's ever offered me an audition."
Friends
"I know, it's crazy. We were just pushing Ben on the swings..."
Friends
"I'm always on the swings."
Friends
"What am I doing wrong?"
Friends
"That."
Friends
"- Okay, gotta go. Wish me luck. - Good luck."
Friends
"Hey, Rach, now that you working at Ralph Lauren, can you get me some shirts?"
Friends
"Uh, well, you know what? I don't know if I'd feel comfortable stealing..."
Friends
"...on my very first day."
Friends
"Unwilling to steal from work."
Friends
"Interesting."
Friends
"Besides, if anybody is gonna get free stuff, it's me."
Friends
"Okay, guys, way to wish me luck."
Friends
"Whoa, whoa. But her birthday's not for another month."
Friends
"Okay, but if we throw her a party on her birthday, then it's not a surprise."
Friends
"I think that's a great idea. We can have a dinner party and invite her close friends."
Friends
"Ross. We're having a surprise party for Rachel."
Friends
"- Okay. - Done."
Friends
"Okay, great. So do you wanna do it together?"
Friends
"I would love to do it together."
Friends
"They're gonna do it together."
Friends
"Dude, that's my girlfriend."
Friends
"So I gotta shut it down now?"
Friends
"All right, I gotta take off. I'm picking up Ben..."
Friends
"- Yeah. - Weirder than his two moms making out?"
Friends
"Whoa, whoa. Dad? There's a dad in the commercial?"
Friends
"Yeah. The dad and Ben eat soup and pretend to enjoy it."
Friends
"Well, maybe I'll go with you and see if I can audition as the dad."
Friends
"I mean, who better to play Ben's father than his godfather?"
Friends
"- You're not his godfather. - What?"
Friends
"Are you kidding?"
Friends
"Of course I am."
Friends
"- Okay, let's go, godfather. - All right. Ha, ha."
Friends
"Hey, I'm in. They're gonna let me audition."
Friends
"Really? That's great."
Friends
"I know, I know. One of the casting ladies has actually seen me in a play."
Friends
"So I steered clear of her."
Friends
"- That kid looks familiar. - Oh, yeah."
Friends
"I've seen him in Sugar Smacks, PlayStation..."
Friends
"In fact, he was so good in that one..."
Friends
"...he actually convinced me to switch phone companies."
Friends
"Chandler was mad."
Friends
"Yeah, well, he's not gonna get this one. All right? Ben is way cuter than that kid."
Friends
"I mean, look at him."
Friends
"Listen, wouldn't it be great if I got to play Ben's dad?"
Friends
"Joey, you look nothing like Ben."
Friends
"I look more like him than you do."
Friends
"Well, I really don't know you well enough for you to do that."
Friends
"So it's down to these two. Nancy, I know you like this one..."
Friends
"...and I think I agree. Rachel, what do you think?"
Friends
"Well, um, that one is pretty..."
Friends
"Oh, don't be. That's part of your job here, to give your opinions."
Friends
"And then I take credit for them. I'm kidding. Ha, ha."
Friends
"She is kidding. But don't ever disagree with her again."
Friends
"- Okay, now I'm kidding. - Oh, ha, ha."
Friends
"Oh, what a fun office."
Friends
"I don't know which one. But I do know I need a cigarette."
Friends
"So, what do you say we take a break, go outside..."
Friends
"...and figure this out when we come back."
Friends
"- Rachel? - Yeah."
Friends
"- You smoke? - No."
Friends
"My dad's a doctor. And he would always tell me just horror stories..."
Friends
"About ghosts and goblins..."
Friends
"...who totally supported the princess' right to smoke."
Friends
"And then they came back from smoking..."
Friends
"- That doesn't seem fair. - I know."
Friends
"It's like I'm being punished for not having this disgusting, poisonous habit."
Friends
"Yeah, it is the best."
Friends
"I mean, what if this keeps happening?"
Friends
"They'll be outside smoking, making all the decisions..."
Friends
"...and I'll just be up in my office breathing in my stupid clean air."
Friends
"You know? And when Kim wants to promote one of us..."
Friends
"...who do you think she's gonna pick? Me or Smokey Smokerson?"
Friends
"Rachel, you can go down there, you don't have to smoke."
Friends
"Just say you wanna get some fresh air."
Friends
"Yeah, I could do that."
Friends
"Yeah, or you could just do the easy thing and smoke."
Friends
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