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Clips from Friends - The One with the Fake Monica (S01E01)

"When somebody steals your credit card..."
Friends
"Wow, what a geek. They spent $69.95 on a Wonder Mop."
Friends
"That's me."
Friends
"Oh, no, no! Not in my room! I'll get him."
Friends
"RACHEL: Marcel, stop it! Marcel! Bad monkey!"
Friends
"How about Joey Paponi?"
Friends
"Plus I think it should be Joe. Joey makes me sound like I'm..."
Friends
"Do I know that name? That sounds familiar."
Friends
"- I think you'd remember that! - Oh, yes!"
Friends
"Joseph Stalin is the Fiddler on the Roof."
Friends
"I'm going to tap class."
Friends
"Go to the post office! I'm sure her picture's up!"
Friends
"Thank you."
Friends
"What do you think?"
Friends
"Which one do you think she is?"
Friends
"We're just here to observe."
Friends
"Spare shoes are over there."
Friends
"RACHEL: Really?"
Friends
"People, last time there were yogurt containers lying around after class."
Friends
"Let's not have that happen again!"
Friends
"Let's get started."
Friends
"I'm totally getting it!"
Friends
"Do you ever just feel like you're so unbelievably uncoordinated?"
Friends
"All right. And my dead mother said you are it! I'm with Rachel."
Friends
"That's all right. You can come up to the front and dance with me."
Friends
"Why don't I just take off my clothes and have a nightmare?"
Friends
"Okay, here I am."
Friends
"She's your partner."
Friends
"Five, six, seven, eight."
Friends
"- Hey. - Hey."
Friends
"She says Marcel's humping thing is not a phase."
Friends
"I can't believe it. This sucks!"
Friends
"...and before you know it, he's this little thing..."
Friends
"...I can't get off my leg."
Friends
"No. No."
Friends
"Right?"
Friends
"Ah. Your own brand of vigilante justice."
Friends
"Mm-hm."
Friends
"I love that joke."
Friends
"- No way! No way did you do this! - Monana was very brave."
Friends
"They threw us out. I was thrown out of a hotel! Me!"
Friends
"Go, Monana!"
Friends
"Oh, by the way..."
Friends
"No, no, no."
Friends
"Remember who you're dealing with here. Ha."
Friends
"- What? - Well, you're Pennsylvania Dutch, right?"
Friends
"I was just like you."
Friends
"I thought that movie was so incredibly..."
Friends
"I mean, that thing at the end where the kid..."
Friends
"I walked out of there, and I thought:"
Friends
"Wow."
Friends
"[LAUGHING]"
Friends
"Oh, God."
Friends
"We didn't get into Scranton."
Friends
"That was our safety zoo."
Friends
"I don't know who this is harder on, me or him."
Friends
"Marcel, no."
Friends
"You know there already is a Joseph Stalin?"
Friends
"You're kidding!"
Friends
"Phoebe, what do you think a good stage name for me would be?"
Friends
"No, no. He's very docile."
Friends
"What about a hammer or a small blade?"
Friends
"[STAMMERS] Why would he need a blade?"
Friends
"Otherwise, it's just cruel!"
Friends
"[PANTING] He got into San Diego!"
Friends
"You're making a mistake. San Diego's well and good..."
Friends
"...but if you give him to me, I'll start him against a blind rabbit..."
Friends
"...and give you 20 percent of the gate."
Friends
"No!"
Friends
"Ugh. Great. You know what? You could have called."
Friends
"Nope!"
Friends
"You know, when I'm with her, I'm so much more than that!"
Friends
"I'm Monana!"
Friends
"Yes, she is. Hold on a second, please."
Friends
"The credit card people."
Friends
"Yes?"
Friends
"I'm not too bad. Fortunately, blue's my color."
Friends
"How did you know I was here?"
Friends
"...I'm Monica Geller."
Friends
"Oh."
Friends
"I can't believe you're in here. What am I gonna do without you?"
Friends
"...and you're worried about who will take you to the Big Apple Circus?"
Friends
"At least I'm doing it!"
Friends
"Okay, goodbye, little monkey guy."
Friends
"...but remember, there's also a lot to learn."
Friends
"I don't know what to say, Ross. Uh, it's a monkey."
Friends
"ROSS: That was good."
Friends
"- Marcel, this is for you. - Oh."
Friends
"It's, uh, just, you know, something to, um..."
Friends
"...do on the plane."
Friends
"If you don't mind, I'd like a moment, just me and him."
Friends
"ALL: Oh."
Friends
"Come here."
Friends
"You've been more like a..."
Friends
"Okay. Marcel, would you...?"
Friends
"O! That I were a glove upon that hand..."
Friends
"MAN: Next."
Friends
"I have no idea. Look how much they spent!"
Friends
"Calm down. You only have to pay for the stuff you bought."
Friends
"Still, it's just such reckless spending."
Friends
"...they've kind of already thrown caution to the wind."
Friends
"Oh! Oh, the yuck."
Friends
"He's doing it again!"
Friends
"Marcel, stop humping the lamp!"
Friends
"Stop humping! Now, Marcel, come back!"
Friends
"Come here, Marcel!"
Friends
"You've got to do something about the humping."
Friends
"Well, that's what we said about Joey."
Friends
"Hey, would you all relax? It's not that big a deal."
Friends
"- What? RACHEL: Ugh!"
Friends
"Let's just say my Curious George doll is no longer curious."
Friends
"Ugh, Monica, you are not still going over that thing."
Friends
"- This woman's living my life. - What?"
Friends
"She's living my life, and she's doing it better than me."
Friends
"Look at this. Look."
Friends
"She buys tickets to plays I want to see."
Friends
"She shops at stores that I'm intimidated by the salespeople."
Friends
"You're not an artist."
Friends
"Yeah, well, I might be if I had the supplies."
Friends
"I mean, I could do all this stuff. Only I don't."
Friends
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