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Clips from Friends - The One with Joey's Interview (S08E08)

"Look at this clown. Just because he's got a bigger boat..."
Friends
"Who names their boat Coast Guard, anyway?"
Friends
"Dude, are you trying to kill me?"
Friends
"You know what? We have to turn off the porn."
Friends
"- A mento? - You know, a mento. A role model."
Friends
"Uh, we stars usually just try to eat right and get lots of exercise."
Friends
"Yeah, I think my pants are a little loose."
Friends
"This sounds like a hernia. You have to-- Go to the doctor."
Friends
"...then beef sautéed with peas and onions."
Friends
"Then a little bit more custard."
Friends
"Uh, I don't believe in these crazy diets. You know, just everything in moderation."
Friends
"I'll take those to go."
Friends
"Um, I just think that you don't expect someone so hot to be so sweet."
Friends
"Okay, it's P as in Phoebe. H as in Heebie."
Friends
"Well, this one's for you."
Friends
"Of course, the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it."
Friends
"And they're off. Oh."
Friends
"Uh, nope. No best friend."
Friends
"No, just a lot of close friends. Yeah."
Friends
"Your makeup."
Friends
"- I think face is best. - Yeah, face to face."
Friends
"[GASPING]"
Friends
"Oh, please."
Friends
"Hey. How you doing?"
Friends
"- Is Rachel here? I'm her sister. - Oh, my God. Jill."
Friends
"Oh, I see what happened. Ha, ha."
Friends
"It's because I was trying to repel you. Right?"
Friends
"I'm okay."
Friends
"Yeah, I called the lady about that. I told her I was joking."
Friends
"I said I write a lot of my own lines, then the writers got mad..."
Friends
"Fine, all right, I'll do it."
Friends
"But, hey. You guys have to be at the next table..."
Friends
"I really appreciate you taking the time to do this."
Friends
"...they want a big, fancy restaurant."
Friends
"- Can I get you anything? - I'll have a cup of coffee."
Friends
"So according to your bio, you've done quite a bit of work before Days of Our Lives."
Friends
"A thing through which you can tinkle"
Friends
"- Hi. GROUP: Hi."
Friends
"So I'm in my apartment doing the Soap Opera Digest crossword puzzle..."
Friends
"...and guess who is the clue for three down?"
Friends
"Three down. "Days of Our Lives star, blank Tribbiani.""
Friends
"That's me! I'm blank! Hey."
Friends
"How cool is. We know three down. I'm touching three down."
Friends
"Yeah, you are, baby."
Friends
"Three down knows I'm married."
Friends
"- What's three down doing? - Sorry."
Friends
"So do they call you to tell you your name's gonna be in this?"
Friends
"No. They really liked me there."
Friends
"They wanted to do a profile on me. I said no."
Friends
"Why'd you say no?"
Friends
"Remember what happened the last time I did an interview?"
Friends
"...and made my character fell down the elevator shaft."
Friends
"So who knows what I might say this time?"
Friends
"If only there was something in your head to control the things you say."
Friends
"Oh, come on, Joey, you'll totally keep it in check this time."
Friends
"And plus, you know, the publicity would be really good for your career."
Friends
"And you deserve that."
Friends
"And if you do the interview, you could mention..."
Friends
"...oh, I don't know, gal pal Rachel Green."
Friends
"Is that "gal pal" spelled L-O-S-E-R?"
Friends
"Okay, don't listen to him. Please?"
Friends
"...so you can stop me if I, you know, start to say something stupid."
Friends
"Just then or all the time? Because we have jobs, you know?"
Friends
"Come on, we will be there for you the whole time. Just remember:"
Friends
"Gal pal, Rachel Green."
Friends
"I'm gonna be in Soap Opera Digest."
Friends
"And not just in the dumb crossword puzzle."
Friends
"- Seriously, proud of you. - Yeah."
Friends
"Oh, not at all. Happy to do it."
Friends
"You think we're being obvious?"
Friends
"No. We're just four people with neck problems, who talk like this."
Friends
"I think it's great that you wanted to meet here."
Friends
"When most people hear that the magazine's paying for it..."
Friends
"Actually, I didn't know the magazine was paying."
Friends
"Wouldn't have mattered."
Friends
"I'm doing this for the fans, not the free food. Ha, ha."
Friends
"Yeah, and I'll have all the muffins."
Friends
"- Hey. - Shh. We're not talking."
Friends
"Oh, finally. Ugh."
Friends
"Anything that you're particularly proud of?"
Friends
"[SINGING] All you want is a dingle"
Friends
"What you envy's a shwang"
Friends
"Or play with, or simply let hang"
Friends
"Folks, this ever happen to you? You go to the fridge to get a glass of milk..."
Friends
"...but these darn cartons are so fringing-flanging hard to open."
Friends
"Boy, you said it, Mike. I don't--"
Friends
"Oh, oh."
Friends
"- There's gotta be a better way. - And there is, Kevin."
Friends
"He's never used this product before."
Friends
"You're gonna see how easy this is to do. Go ahead."
Friends
"- This works in any milk carton. - Wow, it is easy."
Friends
"- Now I can have milk every day. CROWD: Ah."
Friends
"So this is it, Victor?"
Friends
"Yeah, I guess it is. And so..."
Friends
"...I'm gonna get on this spaceship..."
Friends
"...and I'm gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels."
Friends
"But when I return 200 years from now, you'll be long gone."
Friends
"But I won't have aged at all."
Friends
"So you tell your great-great- granddaughter to look me up."
Friends
"Because, Adrian..."
Friends
"."baby"."
Friends
"Shh, shh. Okay, here I come. Here I come. See, I'm coming to fix the copier."
Friends
"I can't get to the copier. I'm thinking, "What do I do? What do I do?""
Friends
"So I just watch them have sex. And then I say-- Wait, here's my line:"
Friends
"JOEY [ON TV]: You know, that's bad for the paper tray."
Friends
"- Nice work, my friend. - Wait, wait, wait, you see me again."
Friends
"Hang on, the guy's butt's blocking me."
Friends
"There I am. There I am. There I am."
Friends
"Well, there are so many things, you know, it's hard to pickjust one."
Friends
"- I'm gonna get some coffee. Want anything? RACHEL: Oh, yeah."
Friends
"- A blueberry muffin and chamomile tea. - Double latte, extra foam."
Friends
"- And a bagel with only-- - I was just being polite."
Friends
"Okay. How about when you're not working?"
Friends
"What do you do in your spare time?"
Friends
"[HORN HONKS]"
Friends
"...he thinks he can take up the whole river."
Friends
"Get out of the way, jackass!"
Friends
"That is the Coast Guard."
Friends
"What are they doing out here? The coast is all the way over there."
Friends
"- Hi. - Hey, check it out. This is unbelievable."
Friends
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