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Clips from Friends - The One with Rachel's Other Sister (S09E09)

"Hey, here's an idea. Why don't we use our wedding china today?"
Friends
"Who is it?"
Friends
"Um... Hi."
Friends
"I decorated Dad's office."
Friends
"Yeah? Well, unless you pushed a desk out of your vagina, not the same thing."
Friends
"Is this Emmett?"
Friends
"It's Emma."
Friends
"No, no, no. I need a good lie to explain why I wasn't at a work thing today."
Friends
"- Honey, you stink at lying. - I do not."
Friends
"...and a raccoon ran in and went straight for your muffin. I said:"
Friends
"Uh..."
Friends
"- "Pick up Grandma at the airport." - Oh, man!"
Friends
"Yes, I do. I really do."
Friends
"If I have a heart attack at a restaurant, I want you there with your fossil brush."
Friends
"- Stupid Thanksgiving. - What?"
Friends
"- What? What happened? - My boyfriend canceled on me."
Friends
"I mean, I finally find a real relationship."
Friends
"Don't say that."
Friends
"I think that's a great idea. It'll be like the Pilgrims bringing the Indians syphilis."
Friends
"But she has nowhere else to go, and she's my sister. She's Emma's aunt."
Friends
"- Phoebe. - That's a funny noise."
Friends
"But I was thinking about changing her name."
Friends
"Honey, I don't know how to tell you this..."
Friends
"Amy, see, we're a lot closer to Monica and Chandler."
Friends
"...trying to have a baby of our own."
Friends
"You know, I've had my doubts about my skills as a father, but..."
Friends
"No, honey. That's a special plate."
Friends
"...should cut their food like this:"
Friends
"...and let's face it, you have fun."
Friends
"...then Emma would go to my parents."
Friends
"No, that is not what we're saying."
Friends
"...who's more of a disciplinarian."
Friends
"Okay. So if we both had Emma, and I died..."
Friends
"...she'd have to give her up."
Friends
"I lie better than that, right?"
Friends
"Ross and Rachel don't know what they're saying."
Friends
"- My sister's raccoon came... - No, nothing with a raccoon!"
Friends
"We thought it might be nice to use the fancy china for dessert too."
Friends
"This might be my one chance to have a child, Rachel."
Friends
"I mean, you know that I have been so busy focusing on my career..."
Friends
"Like in junior high, when you stole Timmy from me."
Friends
"Timmy was my boyfriend, and you made out with him!"
Friends
"You just think you're so perfect..."
Friends
"...with your new baby and your small apartment."
Friends
"Gross!"
Friends
"Okay. That's better."
Friends
"Okay. But you should know he eats a lot and shoves pennies up his nose."
Friends
"...a little out-of-control over there."
Friends
"I was gonna let you use my Ralph Lauren discount."
Friends
"I'll be right there, Emma! Just let me get my trusty diaper bag here."
Friends
"- You gonna tell her? - Nope."
Friends
"Hey. I did it."
Friends
"What?! Something happened with the plates?"
Friends
"Hey, hon? Would you help me get the plates down?"
Friends
"No, I think we should save our china for something really special."
Friends
"Like if the queen of England comes over."
Friends
"What if something breaks? They're expensive."
Friends
"What is the point of having them if we never use them?"
Friends
"Okay. But if something breaks and then the queen comes over..."
Friends
"- I will explain it to her. - Like I'd let you talk to the queen."
Friends
"The parade is really good this year."
Friends
"Man, those horses can crap."
Friends
"Next up is a marching band from Muskogee, Oklahoma."
Friends
"Muskogee? That's like four hours from Tulsa!"
Friends
"Here's the float with the stars of the popular daytime soap..."
Friends
"Oh, my God!"
Friends
"Aren't you one of the stars of the popular daytime soap Days of our Lives?"
Friends
"I forgot! I'm supposed to be there!"
Friends
"I can't believe I forgot! I usually write stuff like this down on my arm!"
Friends
"Stupid long sleeves!"
Friends
"- What are you gonna do? - I'll come up with a good reason..."
Friends
"...why I wasn't there."
Friends
"The producers are gonna be mad. They sat us down and said:"
Friends
""Everyone has to be there, 6 a.m. Sharp. That means you, Tribbiani.""
Friends
"Like I was some kind of idiot."
Friends
"- Well, you proved them wrong. - Yeah."
Friends
"Oh, Emma."
Friends
"This is your first Thanksgiving."
Friends
"What are you thankful for?"
Friends
"Mommy's boobies?"
Friends
"A lot of people are thankful for those."
Friends
"Hello? Rachel?"
Friends
"It's your favorite sister."
Friends
"- Jill? - Amy!"
Friends
"Hide my rings."
Friends
"Amy! Happy Thanksgiving."
Friends
"Do you have a hair straightener?"
Friends
"- Hi. - Hi."
Friends
"Hair straightener."
Friends
"Well, me too. I had a baby."
Friends
"About that hair straightener, honey, I really need one."
Friends
"I'm gonna have dinner at my boyfriend's house."
Friends
"- Oh, my God. - Uh-huh."
Friends
"It's a girl?"
Friends
"- Hey, Amy. - Amy, you remember Ross?"
Friends
"But you are much cuter than that geeky guy she used to date."
Friends
"That was me."
Friends
"No, he was this creepy guy from high school who had this huge crush on her..."
Friends
"...since, like, the ninth grade."
Friends
"Still me."
Friends
"No, I'm not talking about you."
Friends
"It was your fat friend's brother with that bad Afro."
Friends
"Okay, Amy, I'm gonna save you some time, okay? All me!"
Friends
"Careful. Careful."
Friends
"Careful!"
Friends
"I'll tell you what. For the rest of our lives..."
Friends
"...I'll be careful until told otherwise."
Friends
"- This isn't the china we picked out. - I know."
Friends
"After you left the store, I chose different ones."
Friends
"- Why? - Your taste is a little feminine for me."
Friends
"Suddenly flowers are feminine?"
Friends
"Hey, everybody! Happy Thanksgiving!"
Friends
"- Happy Thanksgiving. Pheebs! - What's going on, Joe?"
Friends
"Listen, I need a good lie."
Friends
"Okay."
Friends
"How about the whole "man walking on the moon" thing, you know?"
Friends
"You can see the strings, people!"
Friends
"Really? Let me ask you something. Yesterday at the coffeehouse..."
Friends
"...I went to the bathroom. When I came back, my muffin was gone. Who took it?"
Friends
"Somebody opened the door to the coffeehouse..."
Friends
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