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Clips from Friends - The One with Ross's Inappropriate Song (S09E09)

"Yes, we were. Heh. Come here, gorgeous."
Friends
"You're just a little-bitty baby, you know that? But you've got..."
Friends
"Yes, you do. And a... And a big, round belly."
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"I like big butts and I cannot lie"
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"And a round thing in your face You get..."
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"I'm a terrible father. Oh."
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"I'm starting to make good money on the show, and I should do something with it."
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"- What do you do with your money now? - It's taped to the back of my toilet tank."
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"I didn't say that. It's in a bank guarded by robots."
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"...about going in on an emu farm. That'd be kind of cool, huh?"
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"Joe, emus are birds. You raise them for meat."
Friends
"Mm-hm. - Ahem."
Friends
"Real estate, huh? Hmm."
Friends
"Oh, and you know whose knowledge of her ex-boyfriend is shocking? Monica!"
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"- You can say neither. - Oh, God. Neither."
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"You are in such good hands, and I am so good with meeting parents."
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"Uh-huh."
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"Just kind of like, "Mr. Pinzer, I can see where Wallace gets his good looks.""
Friends
"So now, what about with Mike's mom?"
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"Listen."
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"- Hi. - Hi."
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"Only not creepy."
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"Please don't take her away from me."
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"Hi, I'm Joey. This is Chandler."
Friends
"So how come Richard's selling the place? Went bankrupt?"
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"He's buying a much bigger place. It's got a great view of Central Park..."
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"- Oh, okay. Sorry. - That's all right."
Friends
"Wow, you, uh, seemed pretty insulted by that."
Friends
"What, I'm not good enough for you?"
Friends
"Look at this place. Why am I so intimidated by this guy?"
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"Pretentious art. This huge, macho couch."
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"When we know all he does is sit around..."
Friends
"...crying about losing Monica to a real man. Ha, ha."
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"Yeah, I can see it."
Friends
"Get there faster!"
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"Wow. You look..."
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"...like my mom."
Friends
"...what a delight. Ha-ha-ha."
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"Your home is lovely."
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"But I got over it."
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"- Why don't you go talk to my dad? - Okay, okay, okay."
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"- Still sure about me being myself? - Absolutely."
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"Did you just hit my dad?"
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"Okay, yeah, your mom. She looks nice. I can talk to her."
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"...for having me here tonight."
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"- Is he really? - He is so considerate of my feelings."
Friends
"Excuse me?"
Friends
"When he gets going..."
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"Awesome."
Friends
"- Yeah. - How did she get me to settle down?"
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"...she doesn't say no to much else, I'll tell you."
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"Just for a few seconds so I can know what it is. Please?"
Friends
"- Why am I hearing cheering? - It's okay. It's just a football game."
Friends
"It's football! It's just football!"
Friends
"...only offensive novelty rap?"
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"My name is Mommy"
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"And a round thing in your face"
Friends
"Oh."
Friends
"You other brothers can't deny"
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"Oh, you beautiful little weirdo."
Friends
"And then it goes back to the chorus."
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"I realize you hadn't asked to hear it..."
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"...but, um, no one had spoken in 17 minutes."
Friends
"- Oh! "Ode to a Pubic Hair"? - Stop."
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"Oh, God. Is that veal?"
Friends
"...except for veal. Yeah. No. Veal I love. Heh."
Friends
"- Mm. Yummy. Ha-ha-ha."
Friends
"Listen to the judgment from the porn star!"
Friends
"Joey, I would feel more comfortable if this conversation were in private."
Friends
"...for him to share at his men's club over brandy and mustaches."
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"This is about you and Richard. He's clearly not over you."
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"He keeps a tape so he can look at it whenever he wants."
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"Don't be jealous. You should feel bad for him."
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"I can grow a mustache."
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"...cowboy boots in the air."
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"Ride 'em, cowgirl!"
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"That bastard taped over me!"
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"Is that a problem?"
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"You remember her, Michael. She's lovely, well-behaved and single."
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"...but she did her best."
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"The woman I love."
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"Something I shouldn't say for the first time, in front of my parents..."
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"Yeah. Ha, ha."
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"How great is this?"
Friends
"- Wanna get out of here? - Okay."
Friends
"Thirteen bathrooms in this place, I threw up in the coat closet."
Friends
"Ta-ta!"
Friends
"- So, fellas! - Yeah?"
Friends
"- So shake it - Shake it"
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"- Shake it - Shake it"
Friends
"You other brothers..."
Friends
"...we really were on a break. Yes, we were."
Friends
"Look at you. You are the cutest little baby ever."
Friends
"You've got big, beautiful eyes."
Friends
"I like big butts."
Friends
"When a girl walks in With an itty-bitty waist"
Friends
"Oh, my God. You've never done that before, have you?"
Friends
"You've never done that before. Daddy made you laugh, huh?"
Friends
"Well, Daddy and Sir Mix-A-Lot."
Friends
"My anaconda don't want none Unless you got buns, hun"
Friends
"- Hey. - Hey, listen."
Friends
"- What do you know about investments? - How come?"
Friends
"Pitching in on the weekends, helping to plant the emus."
Friends
"Do they just fly into your mouth? Or you go in a restaurant and say:"
Friends
""Excuse me, I'll have a bucket of fried bird." Ha-ha-ha."
Friends
"Or maybe just a wing. Or a..."
Friends
"I think real estate is your best investment."
Friends
"The Fed just lowered the rates, and the interest on your mortgage is deductible."
Friends
"That's right. I know some stuff."
Friends
"Oh! And you know who's selling a great apartment? Richard!"
Friends
"My dad told me. They play golf together."
Friends
"Oh! Well, maybe I'll join them sometime."
Friends
"I just hope the club doesn't slip out of my hand..."
Friends
"...and beat the mustache off his face."
Friends
"Hi! You have to help me pick a dress. I'm meeting Mike's parents tonight."
Friends
"Wow, the boyfriend's parents. Big step."
Friends
"- Really? That hadn't occurred to me. - They'll love you. Just be yourself."
Friends
"They live on the Upper East Side on Park Avenue."
Friends
"- Oh, yeah, she can't be herself. - Ugh."
Friends
"Okay, so, all right, which dress?"
Friends
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