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Clips from Friends - The One with Joey's Bag (S05E05)

"- That was half an hour? - It's your timer."
Friends
"It's so good, isn't it?"
Friends
"She gives the worst massages ever."
Friends
"Like you could find something this sophisticated."
Friends
"Um, only okay. Because I just got back from the hospital."
Friends
"It's not like I won't see her again. She'll visit."
Friends
"...you know, one life ends and another begins."
Friends
"Not the way they're doing it."
Friends
"What happened? How did she die?"
Friends
"I'm so sorry."
Friends
"You know what?"
Friends
"It's missing something."
Friends
"- It looks like a woman's purse. - No."
Friends
"Oh, you."
Friends
"No, you didn't!"
Friends
"What? Are you referring to my man's bag?"
Friends
"- Your wallet, keys, address book... - Your makeup."
Friends
"Relax, I'll pay you with the money from the job I'll get. Thanks to you."
Friends
"Don't listen to them. I think it's sexy."
Friends
"Hello, Mrs. Pinilla. Thank you for coming."
Friends
"Hi, sweetie."
Friends
"Excuse me, is this the, uh, memorial?"
Friends
"All right."
Friends
"- You're Frank Buf... - Shh. No! Joe Hill."
Friends
"That was my dad."
Friends
"- Oh, my God! What? - Check it out!"
Friends
"It's like it's coming right at me."
Friends
"I said I was the executor of the will and I needed to talk to him."
Friends
"Let's go say goodbye."
Friends
"You know what? Make fun all you want. This is a great bag."
Friends
"And it's as handy as it is becoming."
Friends
"I've got to meet my dad."
Friends
"Will you tell him who you are?"
Friends
"Well, at least you scared someone."
Friends
"Stop it! Why are you doing that to me?"
Friends
"- No, he's not. - Yes, he is!"
Friends
"But the minute we start to lie to each other..."
Friends
"And by "we"..."
Friends
"...I mean society."
Friends
"Ahem, well, you must be new here. Maybe we sit..."
Friends
"No, these babies sell themselves."
Friends
"But I didn't read anything."
Friends
"I think we've seen enough."
Friends
"- Is Rachel here? - No."
Friends
"Please stop."
Friends
"Look, hear me out."
Friends
"Absolutely."
Friends
"I suck!"
Friends
"Thank you."
Friends
"Come sit."
Friends
"Sit."
Friends
"Yes, I am. Mm-hm."
Friends
"Oh, it's, ew, used."
Friends
"So question one:"
Friends
"Yes, I was."
Friends
"Yeah, see?"
Friends
"...bad, bad man."
Friends
"I wrote her a note. Give it to her, please?"
Friends
"She what?"
Friends
"How? Oh, my God."
Friends
"Well, Ursula is a waitress and she lives in Soho."
Friends
"...is on this couch."
Friends
"Phoebe, I, um..."
Friends
"I just can't believe that you're my daughter. You're so pretty."
Friends
"Would it make you feel better if I said..."
Friends
"Well, you know, in my defense, I was a lousy father."
Friends
"Well, no, just that one. But it was stupid."
Friends
"Why won't you go to sleep?"
Friends
"Well, I am."
Friends
"Hey."
Friends
"I thought so too..."
Friends
"To tell you the truth..."
Friends
"I don't have to give it up, do I, Rach?"
Friends
"Ah, I can't believe we've never done this. It's so good!"
Friends
"It's so good for Monica."
Friends
"Time's up! My turn."
Friends
"I don't like to brag about it, but I give the best massages."
Friends
"All right, then massage me up right nice!"
Friends
"Aah! Aah! Aah."
Friends
"I don't know what I did to deserve it."
Friends
"Say goodbye to sore muscles!"
Friends
"Goodbye, muscles!"
Friends
"It was like she was torturing me for information."
Friends
"I wanted to give it up. I just didn't know what it was!"
Friends
"If it hurts that bad, you should tell her."
Friends
"For the first time, I'm in a real relationship."
Friends
"I won't screw that up by telling the truth."
Friends
"You almost crushed my hat."
Friends
"Sorry."
Friends
"This would be the place where you explain the hat."
Friends
"Oh. Yeah."
Friends
"There's this play, right?"
Friends
"I'm up for the part of this cool, suave, international guy."
Friends
"A clothes horse, so I figure..."
Friends
"...everyone at the audition will wear ultra-hip, high fashion stuff."
Friends
"And you'll make them disappear?"
Friends
"Done!"
Friends
"If you want to look good, come to the store. I'll help you."
Friends
"- Thanks! - Sure."
Friends
"Please, take those off!"
Friends
"Hey, Pheebs. How's it going?"
Friends
"I'm fine. But, uh, my grandma sort of died."
Friends
"- Pheebs, sorry. - It's okay."
Friends
"She had a really incredible life."
Friends
"Maybe she's with us right now."
Friends
"Right. She's on a new spiritual plane and she'll come to the coffeehouse."
Friends
"I just saw two people having sex in a car right outside!"
Friends
"Uh, Pheebs' grandmother just died."
Friends
"Oh, my God! I'm so sorry."
Friends
"We were in the market..."
Friends
"...and she bent down to get some yogurt and never came back up again."
Friends
"The last thing she said was:"
Friends
""You get the eggs, I'll get the yogurt, and we'll meet at the checkout counter.""
Friends
"We will meet at the checkout counter."
Friends
"Since you're returning all this stuff..."
Friends
"...you'll have to wear underwear."
Friends
"All right. You'd better show me that too."
Friends
"Really? A purse?"
Friends
"It's not a purse. It's a shoulder bag."
Friends
"See, look. Women carrying the bag."
Friends
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