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Clips from Friends - The One with Two Parts: Part 2 (S01E01)

"So, Monica, what do you do?"
Friends
"Uh, I am a, uh, chef at a restaurant uptown."
Friends
"- Oh, good for you. - Yeah, it is."
Friends
"Mostly because I get to boss people around, which I just love to do."
Friends
"Well, this hummus is great."
Friends
"God bless the chickpea."
Friends
"[LAUGHING]"
Friends
"Oh, God."
Friends
"I am so spoiled."
Friends
"That's it."
Friends
"And by the way, have I mentioned that back in high school..."
Friends
"...I was a cow?"
Friends
"I used to wet my bed."
Friends
"I use my breasts to get other people's attention."
Friends
"We both do that."
Friends
"[PHONE RINGING]"
Friends
"Monica and Rachel's apartment."
Friends
"Uh... Uh, yeah, just one second. Uh, Rachel, it's your dad."
Friends
"Hi, Dad."
Friends
"No, no. It's me."
Friends
"Listen, Dad, I can't talk right now. Um..."
Friends
"But there's something, um..."
Friends
"There's something that I've been meaning to tell you."
Friends
"Excuse me."
Friends
"Remember back in freshman year?"
Friends
"Well, Billy Dreskin and I had sex on your bed."
Friends
"Daddy..."
Friends
"Daddy... Daddy, why? Why would I sleep with Billy Dreskin?"
Friends
"His father tried to put you out of business."
Friends
"You are dead."
Friends
"Ross, he's got the remote again."
Friends
"Good."
Friends
"Maybe he can switch it back."
Friends
"[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]"
Friends
"Maybe not."
Friends
"Hello?"
Friends
"Uh, ueah... Uh..."
Friends
"Okay, uh, hold on a second and let me just check and see if she's here."
Friends
"It's the woman from the hospital. There's a problem with the form."
Friends
"Oh, God, what do we do?"
Friends
"I don't know. Just find out what they want."
Friends
"Okay. No, you do it."
Friends
"Hello. This is Monica."
Friends
"Yeah?"
Friends
"Oh. Okay."
Friends
"Yes, we'll be right down. Thank you."
Friends
"We forgot to sign one of the admissions forms."
Friends
"- Okay, you're right, this wasn't worth it. - Thank you."
Friends
"- Okay, let me just change. - Yes."
Friends
"- Hey. - Hey."
Friends
"Trouble?"
Friends
"Your sister stood me up the other night."
Friends
"Oh, no. Don't you hate it when people aren't there for you?"
Friends
"- Did you try calling her? - I've been trying for two days."
Friends
"When I called the restaurant, they said she was too busy to talk."
Friends
"I can't believe she's blowing me off."
Friends
"Hey."
Friends
"Oh."
Friends
"Um, you got a minute?"
Friends
"Um, yeah, I'm just working."
Friends
"- So... - Uh-huh?"
Friends
"Um, oh, I got you a birthday present."
Friends
"Oh, wow, you remembered."
Friends
"Oh. It's a Judy Jetson Thermos."
Friends
"Right. Like the kind you..."
Friends
"Right."
Friends
"Oh, I got something for you too."
Friends
"How'd you know I was coming?"
Friends
"Um, yeah, um, twin thing."
Friends
"I can't believe you did this."
Friends
"I can't believe you..."
Friends
"...did this."
Friends
"So, what's the deal with, um, you and Joey?"
Friends
"Oh, right."
Friends
"He is so great. But that's over."
Friends
"- Does he know? - Who?"
Friends
"Joey. You know, um, ahem, he's really nutsy about you."
Friends
"He is? Why?"
Friends
"- You got me. - Right."
Friends
"Excuse me..."
Friends
"...doesn't this come with a side salad?"
Friends
"So, um, are you gonna call him?"
Friends
"- What, you think he likes me? - No. Joey."
Friends
"Oh. No, no. He is so smart. He'll figure it out."
Friends
"Do you want some chicken?"
Friends
"No, no. No food with a face, remember?"
Friends
"You have not changed."
Friends
"Yeah, you too."
Friends
"- Hi. Remember us? - Mm-hm."
Friends
"Um, yeah, you just called about needing a signature on the admissions form?"
Friends
"Well, it turns out we need a whole new one."
Friends
"Because, um, you see..."
Friends
"...I put the wrong name again."
Friends
"- Because, um... - You're that stupid."
Friends
"I am. I'm that stupid."
Friends
"Yeah, and I'm just gonna pay for this with a check."
Friends
"You know, your insurance will cover that."
Friends
"Yeah, I know. I'm just not that bright either."
Friends
"Okay, worst case scenario:"
Friends
"- Say you never feel like a father. - Uh-huh."
Friends
"Say your son never feels connected to you as one."
Friends
"Say all of his relationships are affected by this."
Friends
"Do you have a point?"
Friends
"You know, you'd think I would."
Friends
"[MARCEL GASPING]"
Friends
"What's up with the simian?"
Friends
"It's just a fur ball."
Friends
"Okay, whose turn is it?"
Friends
"Yours. I just got 43 points for kidney."
Friends
"No, you got zero points for idney."
Friends
"I had a K. Where's my K?"
Friends
"[GASPING]"
Friends
"You've got to help me. My monkey swallowed a K."
Friends
"Get that animal out of here."
Friends
"The animal hospital is way across town. He's choking. I don't know what to do."
Friends
"- What's going on? - Marcel swallowed a Scrabble tile."
Friends
"Excuse me. This hospital is for people."
Friends
"Lady, he is people. He has a name, okay?"
Friends
"He watches Jeopardy..."
Friends
"...he touches himself when nobody's watching."
Friends
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