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Clips from Superstore - Amnesty (S03E03)

TV Series 2015 –2021 Season 3, Episode 15 22 min ★ 7.9/10 (87,489 ratings) 537 clips
Comedy

Episodes from this show

Title Season Episode
Pilot 1 1
Magazine Profile 1 2
Shots and Salsa 1 3
Mannequin 1 4
Shoplifter 1 5
Secret Shopper 1 6
Color Wars 1 7
Wedding Day Sale 1 8
All-Nighter 1 9
Demotion 1 10
Labor 1 11
Olympics 2 1
Strike 2 2
Back to Work 2 3
Guns, Pills and Birds 2 4
Spokesman Scandal 2 5
Dog Adoption Day 2 6
Halloween Theft 2 7
Election Day 2 8
Seasonal Help 2 9
Black Friday 2 10
Lost and Found 2 11
Rebranding 2 12
Valentine's Day 2 13
Ladies' Lunch 2 13
Super Hot Store 2 15
Wellness Fair 2 16
Integrity Award 2 17
Mateo's Last Day 2 18
Glenn's Kids 2 19
Spring Cleaning 2 20
Cheyenne's Wedding 2 21
Tornado 2 22
Grand Re-Opening 3 1
Brett Is Dead 3 2
Part-Time Hires 3 3
Workplace Bullying 3 4
Sal's Dead 3 5
Health Fund 3 6
Christmas Eve 3 7
Viral Video 3 8
Golden Globes Party 3 9
High Volume Store 3 10
Angels and Mermaids 3 11
Groundhog Day 3 12
Video Game Release 3 13
Safety Training 3 14
Amnesty 3 15
Target 3 16
District Manager 3 17
Local Vendors Day 3 18
Lottery 3 19
Gender Reveal 3 20
Aftermath 3 21
Town Hall 3 22
Back to School 4 1
Baby Shower 4 2
Title Season Episode
Toxic Workplace 4 3
Costume Competition 4 4
Delivery Day 4 5
Maternity Leave 4 6
New Initiative 4 7
Managers' Conference 4 8
Shadowing Glenn 4 9
Cloud 9 Academy 4 10
Steps Challenge 4 11
Blizzard 4 12
Lovebirds 4 13
Minor Crimes 4 14
Salary 4 15
Easter 4 16
Quinceañera 4 17
Cloud Green 4 18
Scanners 4 19
#Cloud9Fail 4 20
Sandra's Fight 4 21
Employee Appreciation Day 4 22
Cloud 9.0 5 1
Testimonials 5 2
Forced Hire 5 3
Mall Closing 5 4
Self-Care 5 5
Trick-or-Treat 5 6
Shoplifter Rehab 5 7
Toy Drive 5 8
Curbside Pickup 5 9
Negotiations 5 10
Lady Boss 5 11
Myrtle 5 12
Favoritism 5 13
Sandra's Wedding 5 14
Cereal Bar 5 15
Employee App 5 16
Zephra Cares 5 17
Playdate 5 18
Carol's Back 5 19
Customer Safari 5 20
California Part 1 5 21
Essential 6 1
California Part 2 6 2
Floor Supervisor 6 3
Prize Wheel 6 4
Hair Care Products 6 5
Biscuit 6 6
The Trough 6 7
Ground Rules 6 8
Conspiracy 6 9
Depositions 6 10
Deep Cleaning 6 11
Customer Satisfaction 6 12
Lowell Anderson 6 13
Perfect Store 6 14
All Sales Final 6 15
- This never gets old. - Why are you doing this?
"- This never gets old. - Why are you doing this?"
Superstore
Amy frenched her man,
"Amy frenched her man,"
Superstore
So, then I go, "I'm undocumented,"
"So, then I go, "I'm undocumented,""
Superstore
and then Jeff goes, "That's why you dumped me?"
"and then Jeff goes, "That's why you dumped me?""
Superstore
and I go, "Mm-hmm."
"and I go, "Mm-hmm.""
Superstore
- He doesn't hate you. - He might.
"- He doesn't hate you. - He might."
Superstore
For all I know, he's reported me by now.
"For all I know, he's reported me by now."
Superstore
you know, a bunch of guys in uniform
"you know, a bunch of guys in uniform"
Superstore
And then, you'd probably get sent to Guantanamo.
"And then, you'd probably get sent to Guantanamo."
Superstore
Man, how weird are sponges?
"Man, how weird are sponges?"
Superstore
and this stupid video.
"and this stupid video."
Superstore
Robin killed himself.
"Robin killed himself."
Superstore
Do you have any idea how many customers
"Do you have any idea how many customers"
Superstore
This is a fireable offense.
"This is a fireable offense."
Superstore
However, we're giving that person one chance.
"However, we're giving that person one chance."
Superstore
You come forward today, admit what you did,
"You come forward today, admit what you did,"
Superstore
and admits to doing something wrong
"and admits to doing something wrong"
Superstore
How do we know if you tell you something,
"How do we know if you tell you something,"
Superstore
- She does love birds. - Yeah.
"- She does love birds. - Yeah."
Superstore
- I don't know. - Who do you think did it?
"- I don't know. - Who do you think did it?"
Superstore
I don't have any more information than you do.
"I don't have any more information than you do."
Superstore
Well, we don't sell boats,
"Well, we don't sell boats,"
Superstore
- but cool. - Okay.
"- but cool. - Okay."
Superstore
Hey, Jeff, um, third call.
"Hey, Jeff, um, third call."
Superstore
or would or wouldn't.
"or would or wouldn't."
Superstore
and not one employee has confessed,
"and not one employee has confessed,"
Superstore
Can someone please open a register?
"Can someone please open a register?"
Superstore
All the registers should be open.
"All the registers should be open."
Superstore
Where is everyone?
"Where is everyone?"
Superstore
There's just so many of you.
"There's just so many of you."
Superstore
but, um, I'm not sure
"but, um, I'm not sure"
Superstore
Then we'll tell you if your thing
"Then we'll tell you if your thing"
Superstore
- Um, the letter "U"? - Yes, "U."
"- Um, the letter "U"? - Yes, "U.""
Superstore
Okay, now give me the second letter, and then we can just go back and forth.
"Okay, now give me the second letter, and then we can just go back and forth."
Superstore
Utah!
"Utah!"
Superstore
Trying to stay away from all the looks
"Trying to stay away from all the looks"
Superstore
No.
"No."
Superstore
of "Material Girl" on alto sax...
"of "Material Girl" on alto sax..."
Superstore
They started teasing this fat kid instead,
"They started teasing this fat kid instead,"
Superstore
Sex.
"Sex."
Superstore
No, it's not.
"No, it's not."
Superstore
Okay, so, I'm the one who's been stealing the shopping carts,
"Okay, so, I'm the one who's been stealing the shopping carts,"
Superstore
- on Wednesdays and Fridays. - What?
"- on Wednesdays and Fridays. - What?"
Superstore
Right under our noses. How awful.
"Right under our noses. How awful."
Superstore
I go to the Cinnabon and go nuts.
"I go to the Cinnabon and go nuts."
Superstore
It's so good.
"It's so good."
Superstore
I stole a pack of Sour Cherry Bubblicious.
"I stole a pack of Sour Cherry Bubblicious."
Superstore
The elevator pitch is bum fights on crack.
"The elevator pitch is bum fights on crack."
Superstore
ignited the corn starch,
"ignited the corn starch,"
Superstore
causing a big explosion on the third floor...
"causing a big explosion on the third floor..."
Superstore
- Oh, gosh. - Yes.
"- Oh, gosh. - Yes."
Superstore
So, you film homeless people
"So, you film homeless people"
Superstore
Aw, it's not just this store, it's the whole world.
"Aw, it's not just this store, it's the whole world."
Superstore
Now, you just keep that same face right there...
"Now, you just keep that same face right there..."
Superstore
I don't know what you're saying to me.
"I don't know what you're saying to me."
Superstore
and putting on a fedora.
"and putting on a fedora."
Superstore
"Employees should avoid discussing racial issues,
""Employees should avoid discussing racial issues,"
Superstore
or doesn't even apply.
"or doesn't even apply."
Superstore
"A female employee's skirt shall start below the knee,
""A female employee's skirt shall start below the knee,"
Superstore
and her bosom shall be fully covered"?
"and her bosom shall be fully covered"?"
Superstore
- That's a rule? - Yeah.
"- That's a rule? - Yeah."
Superstore
from whoever's working café.
"from whoever's working café."
Superstore
Couldn't you just lie about that?
"Couldn't you just lie about that?"
Superstore
Oh, she loves that daughter.
"Oh, she loves that daughter."
Superstore
Oh, hey.
"Oh, hey."
Superstore
Yeah?
"Yeah?"
Superstore
'Cause we were just about to have a nooner.
"'Cause we were just about to have a nooner."
Superstore
Watch out, Cloud 9's about to get real hot up in here!
"Watch out, Cloud 9's about to get real hot up in here!"
Superstore
and just not getting to make out.
"and just not getting to make out."
Superstore
Guys, something just happened!
"Guys, something just happened!"
Superstore
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but it... it's... it's like CPR, you know?
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, but it... it's... it's like CPR, you know?"
Superstore
okay, so that people would stop saying we wanted to kiss.
"okay, so that people would stop saying we wanted to kiss."
Superstore
That sounds stupid.
"That sounds stupid."
Superstore
- And boom! Amnesty. - Ok... okay.
"- And boom! Amnesty. - Ok... okay."
Superstore
Uh, as you all know, from time to time,
"Uh, as you all know, from time to time,"
Superstore
we have a guest speaker...
"we have a guest speaker..."
Superstore
So... I would like to introduce you to Pastor Craig.
"So... I would like to introduce you to Pastor Craig."
Superstore
You know the rules about religion at work.
"You know the rules about religion at work."
Superstore
- of the people who work here... - Amen.
"- of the people who work here... - Amen."
Superstore
- Hallelujah. - Yeah.
"- Hallelujah. - Yeah."
Superstore
Justine.
"Justine."
Superstore
I love you.
"I love you."
Superstore
but he loves the sinner.
"but he loves the sinner."
Superstore
Example: Sandra...
"Example: Sandra..."
Superstore
Who is Sandra? Where is, uh...
"Who is Sandra? Where is, uh..."
Superstore
All right.
"All right."
Superstore
Now, Sandra, it... it says here
"Now, Sandra, it... it says here"
Superstore
Ye
"Ye"
Superstore
Well, I... put on a hoodie that covers my face.
"Well, I... put on a hoodie that covers my face."
Superstore
to a library in a far-away town.
"to a library in a far-away town."
Superstore
and Google how I'm thinking of killing her
"and Google how I'm thinking of killing her"
Superstore
- The small... - Tire gauge.
"- The small... - Tire gauge."
Superstore
Yes, thank you. I need a tire gauge.
"Yes, thank you. I need a tire gauge."
Superstore
I told ya, you take away the punishment,
"I told ya, you take away the punishment,"
Superstore
There was no fireable offense.
"There was no fireable offense."
Superstore
Actually, we Christians believe that all people are sinners.
"Actually, we Christians believe that all people are sinners."
Superstore
We all thought we were gonna die.
"We all thought we were gonna die."
Superstore
Weren't you praying to Allah the whole time?
"Weren't you praying to Allah the whole time?"
Superstore
- What... no, I didn't... - Glenn...
"- What... no, I didn't... - Glenn..."
Superstore
I am not the one on trial here.
"I am not the one on trial here."
Superstore
You know what, nobody's on trial, okay?
"You know what, nobody's on trial, okay?"
Superstore
- Nobody. - We all make mistakes.
"- Nobody. - We all make mistakes."
Superstore
So you say,
"So you say,"
Superstore
No, uh, actually, we're... we're dating, so...
"No, uh, actually, we're... we're dating, so..."
Superstore
It doesn't matter.
"It doesn't matter."
Superstore
Look, Amy is not my soul mate, okay?
"Look, Amy is not my soul mate, okay?"
Superstore
There, I said it. Okay? Are you happy?
"There, I said it. Okay? Are you happy?"
Superstore
So... stop.
"So... stop."
Superstore
- He didn't know. - Do you still love each other?
"- He didn't know. - Do you still love each other?"
Superstore
Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
"Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh."
Superstore
She didn't know that he didn't know,
"She didn't know that he didn't know,"
Superstore
- I'm kind of Team Amy now. - Yeah.
"- I'm kind of Team Amy now. - Yeah."
Superstore
I'm with you. I'm fully shipping them.
"I'm with you. I'm fully shipping them."
Superstore
- Yeah. - Mm-hmm.
"- Yeah. - Mm-hmm."
Superstore
Yep. How are you doing with everything?
"Yep. How are you doing with everything?"
Superstore
That's a good one.
"That's a good one."
Superstore
Mm-hmm.
"Mm-hmm."
Superstore
Really? So, you've never gotten stoned at work
"Really? So, you've never gotten stoned at work"
Superstore
but I am not cool with him kissing my head.
"but I am not cool with him kissing my head."
Superstore
everything just got blown out of proportion.
"everything just got blown out of proportion."
Superstore