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Clips from Superstore - District Manager (S03E03)

TV Series 2015–2021 Season 3, Episode 17 22 min ★ 7.9/10 (87,489 ratings) 552 clips
Comedy
Ever. In general.
"Ever. In general."
Superstore
- Nice recovery. - Man, I hope she's a WILF.
"- Nice recovery. - Man, I hope she's a WILF."
Superstore
I'm excited to have a woman in charge.
"I'm excited to have a woman in charge."
Superstore
The world's moving too fast.
"The world's moving too fast."
Superstore
Or we could just treat her like she's a human being.
"Or we could just treat her like she's a human being."
Superstore
What?
"What?"
Superstore
Fred Astaire did but backwards and in high heels.
"Fred Astaire did but backwards and in high heels."
Superstore
You're only defending her because she's a woman.
"You're only defending her because she's a woman."
Superstore
standing around talking about her appearance.
"standing around talking about her appearance."
Superstore
Exactly.
"Exactly."
Superstore
"Big Time." "Top Hat."
""Big Time." "Top Hat.""
Superstore
Ugh, Laurie's gonna be looking at our stats,
"Ugh, Laurie's gonna be looking at our stats,"
Superstore
Who cares if you're bad at one thing?
"Who cares if you're bad at one thing?"
Superstore
at texting and driving.
"at texting and driving."
Superstore
They're on planets most of the time.
"They're on planets most of the time."
Superstore
That's just an ignorant comment.
"That's just an ignorant comment."
Superstore
you're the floor manager, right?
"you're the floor manager, right?"
Superstore
Sal Kazlauskas, who has a lot of open
"Sal Kazlauskas, who has a lot of open"
Superstore
Thank you. Well, I had to have sex
"Thank you. Well, I had to have sex"
Superstore
I'm kidding.
"I'm kidding."
Superstore
Oh, uh, yeah. Okay, sure.
"Oh, uh, yeah. Okay, sure."
Superstore
It's like the saying.
"It's like the saying."
Superstore
We try and keep Carol and Sandra on opposite sides of the store.
"We try and keep Carol and Sandra on opposite sides of the store."
Superstore
And Justine Sikowicz?
"And Justine Sikowicz?"
Superstore
Good to know.
"Good to know."
Superstore
Okay, why don't you tell me about Cody?
"Okay, why don't you tell me about Cody?"
Superstore
- No, I just mean fire her. - Oh, um...
"- No, I just mean fire her. - Oh, um..."
Superstore
Yeah, that's exactly what happened.
"Yeah, that's exactly what happened."
Superstore
I don't know what's inside of her mind.
"I don't know what's inside of her mind."
Superstore
very good at her job.
"very good at her job."
Superstore
and she's not very good at her job."
"and she's not very good at her job.""
Superstore
or are you gonna help me fix this?
"or are you gonna help me fix this?"
Superstore
I was thinking we could point fingers
"I was thinking we could point fingers"
Superstore
Okay, I'm asking you to fire her, not kill her.
"Okay, I'm asking you to fire her, not kill her."
Superstore
You're just wasting air.
"You're just wasting air."
Superstore
You think I should?
"You think I should?"
Superstore
Well, isn't that kind of like cheating?
"Well, isn't that kind of like cheating?"
Superstore
I'm gonna do it.
"I'm gonna do it."
Superstore
you can change your employee photo too.
"you can change your employee photo too."
Superstore
Enough about the photo!
"Enough about the photo!"
Superstore
I had a lot of sodium that morning.
"I had a lot of sodium that morning."
Superstore
Women have been wearing corsets for centuries.
"Women have been wearing corsets for centuries."
Superstore
If a little squeezing hurt,
"If a little squeezing hurt,"
Superstore
Fine, I'll go get Justine to help.
"Fine, I'll go get Justine to help."
Superstore
Because fat people are fat everywhere.
"Because fat people are fat everywhere."
Superstore
like how they do Hollywood actors.
"like how they do Hollywood actors."
Superstore
If Charlie came in the store.
"If Charlie came in the store."
Superstore
Sure, who's this?
"Sure, who's this?"
Superstore
Hi, um, I'm Jonah. Simms.
"Hi, um, I'm Jonah. Simms."
Superstore
Uh, you can't fire Myrtle.
"Uh, you can't fire Myrtle."
Superstore
She is an invaluable asset to this store.
"She is an invaluable asset to this store."
Superstore
What if we found the savings elsewhere?
"What if we found the savings elsewhere?"
Superstore
Sure, yeah.
"Sure, yeah."
Superstore
Like, that's a thing, right?
"Like, that's a thing, right?"
Superstore
I know you can do this. Come on, baby!
"I know you can do this. Come on, baby!"
Superstore
It's just competing with the heat.
"It's just competing with the heat."
Superstore
Neither do I, but Mama can't stop.
"Neither do I, but Mama can't stop."
Superstore
Okay.
"Okay."
Superstore
So no one can see us.
"So no one can see us."
Superstore
You might as well change it to something impressive.
"You might as well change it to something impressive."
Superstore
It's a little less obvious.
"It's a little less obvious."
Superstore
Excuse me, young lady.
"Excuse me, young lady."
Superstore
I could have sworn you said Channel 4.
"I could have sworn you said Channel 4."
Superstore
Craig's the best.
"Craig's the best."
Superstore
Huh? What?
"Huh? What?"
Superstore
Do you wanna put the box down?
"Do you wanna put the box down?"
Superstore
Just ask the question!
"Just ask the question!"
Superstore
Just have to, uh, use the restroom.
"Just have to, uh, use the restroom."
Superstore
So maybe we can discuss that later.
"So maybe we can discuss that later."
Superstore
Great.
"Great."
Superstore
If we don't find enough budget cuts to cover
"If we don't find enough budget cuts to cover"
Superstore
her salary, Laurie is gonna fire Myrtle.
"her salary, Laurie is gonna fire Myrtle."
Superstore
Like being a bitch.
"Like being a bitch."
Superstore
Yeah, only women can use the word "bitch,"
"Yeah, only women can use the word "bitch,""
Superstore
To be honest, I'm not sure what on track would look like.
"To be honest, I'm not sure what on track would look like."
Superstore
Hey, if Hitler was a woman, would you be defending Hitler?
"Hey, if Hitler was a woman, would you be defending Hitler?"
Superstore
I'm not sure one hosts a holocaust.
"I'm not sure one hosts a holocaust."
Superstore
Don't mansplain her.
"Don't mansplain her."
Superstore
- Mm-hmm. - Me too.
"- Mm-hmm. - Me too."
Superstore
I think we solved sexism, guys.
"I think we solved sexism, guys."
Superstore
All right, Myrtle.
"All right, Myrtle."
Superstore
keep it groovy.
"keep it groovy."
Superstore
But, uh, wow. Thank you.
"But, uh, wow. Thank you."
Superstore
121!
"121!"
Superstore
That's so stupid.
"That's so stupid."
Superstore
Hey, you know what would be a good idea?
"Hey, you know what would be a good idea?"
Superstore
and "Star Trek" are the same thing.
"and "Star Trek" are the same thing."
Superstore
- You're a good man. - Look how good she's doing.
"- You're a good man. - Look how good she's doing."
Superstore
Oh, that's my car.
"Oh, that's my car."
Superstore
Great.
"Great."
Superstore
Here.
"Here."
Superstore
Thank you, Cheyenne.
"Thank you, Cheyenne."
Superstore
- Bees! - What?
"- Bees! - What?"
Superstore
A very big slice, Jonah.
"A very big slice, Jonah."
Superstore
I mean, I couldn't finish that.
"I mean, I couldn't finish that."
Superstore
But when the store shifts over to LED and motion sensors,
"But when the store shifts over to LED and motion sensors,"
Superstore
Yeah, you know, if someone offered me a slice that size
"Yeah, you know, if someone offered me a slice that size"
Superstore
- Go to the end. - Okay.
"- Go to the end. - Okay."
Superstore
I'm sorry, was that the donkey from "Shrek"?
"I'm sorry, was that the donkey from "Shrek"?"
Superstore
- the total savings comes to... - $18,326.
"- the total savings comes to... - $18,326."
Superstore
Wow.
"Wow."
Superstore
That, I have to admit, is very impressive.
"That, I have to admit, is very impressive."
Superstore
honestly, I didn't think that you'd be able to do it.
"honestly, I didn't think that you'd be able to do it."
Superstore
Laurie.
"Laurie."
Superstore
Ah, quitting time, huh?
"Ah, quitting time, huh?"
Superstore
Smoke some cigarettes, jump on my trampoline.
"Smoke some cigarettes, jump on my trampoline."
Superstore
you look different.
"you look different."
Superstore
You should know better.
"You should know better."
Superstore
A-word?
"A-word?"
Superstore
Yeah, gender neutral.
"Yeah, gender neutral."
Superstore
Best day.
"Best day."
Superstore
Good morning, everyone.
"Good morning, everyone."
Superstore
Good morning.
"Good morning."
Superstore
Okay, let's focus up.
"Okay, let's focus up."
Superstore
Quiet!
"Quiet!"
Superstore
Morning, everyone.
"Morning, everyone."
Superstore
Okay, uh, before the new district manager gets here,
"Okay, uh, before the new district manager gets here,"
Superstore
I just wanted to warn you her name is Laurie Neustadt.
"I just wanted to warn you her name is Laurie Neustadt."
Superstore
And she's a woman,
"And she's a woman,"
Superstore
so let's not act like that's weird.
"so let's not act like that's weird."
Superstore