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Clips from Superstore - Shoplifter Rehab (S05E05)

TV Series 2015 –2021 Season 5, Episode 7 22 min ★ 7.9/10 (87,489 ratings) 611 clips
Comedy

Episodes from this show

Title Season Episode
Pilot 1 1
Magazine Profile 1 2
Shots and Salsa 1 3
Mannequin 1 4
Shoplifter 1 5
Secret Shopper 1 6
Color Wars 1 7
Wedding Day Sale 1 8
All-Nighter 1 9
Demotion 1 10
Labor 1 11
Olympics 2 1
Strike 2 2
Back to Work 2 3
Guns, Pills and Birds 2 4
Spokesman Scandal 2 5
Dog Adoption Day 2 6
Halloween Theft 2 7
Election Day 2 8
Seasonal Help 2 9
Black Friday 2 10
Lost and Found 2 11
Rebranding 2 12
Valentine's Day 2 13
Ladies' Lunch 2 13
Super Hot Store 2 15
Wellness Fair 2 16
Integrity Award 2 17
Mateo's Last Day 2 18
Glenn's Kids 2 19
Spring Cleaning 2 20
Cheyenne's Wedding 2 21
Tornado 2 22
Grand Re-Opening 3 1
Brett Is Dead 3 2
Part-Time Hires 3 3
Workplace Bullying 3 4
Sal's Dead 3 5
Health Fund 3 6
Christmas Eve 3 7
Viral Video 3 8
Golden Globes Party 3 9
High Volume Store 3 10
Angels and Mermaids 3 11
Groundhog Day 3 12
Video Game Release 3 13
Safety Training 3 14
Amnesty 3 15
Target 3 16
District Manager 3 17
Local Vendors Day 3 18
Lottery 3 19
Gender Reveal 3 20
Aftermath 3 21
Town Hall 3 22
Back to School 4 1
Baby Shower 4 2
Title Season Episode
Toxic Workplace 4 3
Costume Competition 4 4
Delivery Day 4 5
Maternity Leave 4 6
New Initiative 4 7
Managers' Conference 4 8
Shadowing Glenn 4 9
Cloud 9 Academy 4 10
Steps Challenge 4 11
Blizzard 4 12
Lovebirds 4 13
Minor Crimes 4 14
Salary 4 15
Easter 4 16
Quinceañera 4 17
Cloud Green 4 18
Scanners 4 19
#Cloud9Fail 4 20
Sandra's Fight 4 21
Employee Appreciation Day 4 22
Cloud 9.0 5 1
Testimonials 5 2
Forced Hire 5 3
Mall Closing 5 4
Self-Care 5 5
Trick-or-Treat 5 6
Shoplifter Rehab 5 7
Toy Drive 5 8
Curbside Pickup 5 9
Negotiations 5 10
Lady Boss 5 11
Myrtle 5 12
Favoritism 5 13
Sandra's Wedding 5 14
Cereal Bar 5 15
Employee App 5 16
Zephra Cares 5 17
Playdate 5 18
Carol's Back 5 19
Customer Safari 5 20
California Part 1 5 21
Essential 6 1
California Part 2 6 2
Floor Supervisor 6 3
Prize Wheel 6 4
Hair Care Products 6 5
Biscuit 6 6
The Trough 6 7
Ground Rules 6 8
Conspiracy 6 9
Depositions 6 10
Deep Cleaning 6 11
Customer Satisfaction 6 12
Lowell Anderson 6 13
Perfect Store 6 14
All Sales Final 6 15
I always do that. I should have just said,
"I always do that. I should have just said,"
Superstore
Tell me again that Maya didn't see the union cards.
"Tell me again that Maya didn't see the union cards."
Superstore
it's too late now.
"it's too late now."
Superstore
Nobody's getting fired. Get out of your head.
"Nobody's getting fired. Get out of your head."
Superstore
Maya!
"Maya!"
Superstore
and I thought instead of heading up
"and I thought instead of heading up"
Superstore
that maybe I'd spend another day here.
"that maybe I'd spend another day here."
Superstore
Great, thanks. Also, did you know
"Great, thanks. Also, did you know"
Superstore
[laid-back music]
"[laid-back music]"
Superstore
I get that this doesn't look great,
"I get that this doesn't look great,"
Superstore
Come on. That store used to be a bank.
"Come on. That store used to be a bank."
Superstore
It has a skylight.
"It has a skylight."
Superstore
who are secretly the harshest.
"who are secretly the harshest."
Superstore
and the DM marries his daughter.
"and the DM marries his daughter."
Superstore
Well, maybe that's why she's here.
"Well, maybe that's why she's here."
Superstore
and Maya's gonna see that, you know,
"and Maya's gonna see that, you know,"
Superstore
as long as we have one of our good days
"as long as we have one of our good days"
Superstore
in the store, which we've been having
"in the store, which we've been having"
Superstore
Are you finishing a magic trick?
"Are you finishing a magic trick?"
Superstore
No, I'm just saying there's no one here.
"No, I'm just saying there's no one here."
Superstore
I need someone to help me run my shoplifter rehab course.
"I need someone to help me run my shoplifter rehab course."
Superstore
but ironically, he got arrested.
"but ironically, he got arrested."
Superstore
Just because I have an ankle monitor,
"Just because I have an ankle monitor,"
Superstore
Yeah, that sounds fun. I'm in.
"Yeah, that sounds fun. I'm in."
Superstore
Amy and I combined Spotify accounts last night.
"Amy and I combined Spotify accounts last night."
Superstore
It just felt like time, you know?
"It just felt like time, you know?"
Superstore
I'm surprised you weren't worried about
"I'm surprised you weren't worried about"
Superstore
Thanks, I like 'em too.
"Thanks, I like 'em too."
Superstore
Jerry wants our wedding to have a nautical theme
"Jerry wants our wedding to have a nautical theme"
Superstore
Okay, these are the last ones
"Okay, these are the last ones"
Superstore
I could find in the back.
"I could find in the back."
Superstore
Oh, so Carol's helping you out?
"Oh, so Carol's helping you out?"
Superstore
Sandra and I are committed to repairing our friendship.
"Sandra and I are committed to repairing our friendship."
Superstore
Totally.
"Totally."
Superstore
And so you know,
"And so you know,"
Superstore
and then I'll be in grocery,
"and then I'll be in grocery,"
Superstore
[forced laugh]
"[forced laugh]"
Superstore
You can't just blow it off.
"You can't just blow it off."
Superstore
You have to get here.
"You have to get here."
Superstore
Take a bath with the dogs later.
"Take a bath with the dogs later."
Superstore
to not be working.
"to not be working."
Superstore
Well, not for me, it isn't.
"Well, not for me, it isn't."
Superstore
and the sound quality's full "garbagio."
"and the sound quality's full "garbagio.""
Superstore
[upbeat music plays]
"[upbeat music plays]"
Superstore
Ah! Sorry I'm late.
"Ah! Sorry I'm late."
Superstore
The store will not be pressing criminal charges.
"The store will not be pressing criminal charges."
Superstore
- Isn't it just 911? - Silence, scrode!
"- Isn't it just 911? - Silence, scrode!"
Superstore
your corporate-approved workbooks
"your corporate-approved workbooks"
Superstore
a little bit differently here today.
"a little bit differently here today."
Superstore
That's it, go on.
"That's it, go on."
Superstore
- Get out! - Aw, man.
"- Get out! - Aw, man."
Superstore
"Attention employees,
""Attention employees,"
Superstore
Yep, that's right.
"Yep, that's right."
Superstore
Yeah, no, I don't hit my employees.
"Yeah, no, I don't hit my employees."
Superstore
- I figured that. - Okay.
"- I figured that. - Okay."
Superstore
and need to stop to pull passengers
"and need to stop to pull passengers"
Superstore
from the wreckage?
"from the wreckage?"
Superstore
Oh, but what about a train crash?
"Oh, but what about a train crash?"
Superstore
Um, any of the crashes.
"Um, any of the crashes."
Superstore
All right, we're moving on.
"All right, we're moving on."
Superstore
where someone could have been hurt?
"where someone could have been hurt?"
Superstore
and it's, like, loose and it's rolling around
"and it's, like, loose and it's rolling around"
Superstore
I get written up for that, but Russell can smoke pot
"I get written up for that, but Russell can smoke pot"
Superstore
in the garden center?
"in the garden center?"
Superstore
Well, I didn't know that was happening,
"Well, I didn't know that was happening,"
Superstore
so now that I do, I'm gonna right him up.
"so now that I do, I'm gonna right him up."
Superstore
[grunts]
"[grunts]"
Superstore
"Horseman," that's the cue!
""Horseman," that's the cue!"
Superstore
Well, Maya reported the fight to HR.
"Well, Maya reported the fight to HR."
Superstore
She said it wasn't a big deal,
"She said it wasn't a big deal,"
Superstore
but she couldn't even look me in the eye when she said it,
"but she couldn't even look me in the eye when she said it,"
Superstore
which I have a teenager daughter, I know what that means.
"which I have a teenager daughter, I know what that means."
Superstore
It's not like you're the one who slammed Russell on the table.
"It's not like you're the one who slammed Russell on the table."
Superstore
by pouring oat milk on 'em.
"by pouring oat milk on 'em."
Superstore
It doesn't even matter.
"It doesn't even matter."
Superstore
I have zero control over my employees.
"I have zero control over my employees."
Superstore
It's too bad you can't just fire someone, though.
"It's too bad you can't just fire someone, though."
Superstore
Glenn, calm down. I'm gonna fire anyone.
"Glenn, calm down. I'm gonna fire anyone."
Superstore
You know, it's just not fair.
"You know, it's just not fair."
Superstore
Dina's using, like, hypnosis or some crap.
"Dina's using, like, hypnosis or some crap."
Superstore
I'd like to buy these apples, please.
"I'd like to buy these apples, please."
Superstore
due to all the people stealing them.
"due to all the people stealing them."
Superstore
You think we can get a bathroom break?
"You think we can get a bathroom break?"
Superstore
You think I don't know how much that stuff goes for on the street?
"You think I don't know how much that stuff goes for on the street?"
Superstore
Yep. [Clears throat] No, wait. [Clears throat]
"Yep. [Clears throat] No, wait. [Clears throat]"
Superstore
Yep. [In higher voice] Yep.
"Yep. [In higher voice] Yep."
Superstore
and say, "Where's that Turtle Wax endcap"
"and say, "Where's that Turtle Wax endcap""
Superstore
Somebody put Skittles in the Coinstar machine.
"Somebody put Skittles in the Coinstar machine."
Superstore
Check it out. What's up?
"Check it out. What's up?"
Superstore
I'm an employee right now.
"I'm an employee right now."
Superstore
Green beans are now the normal price.
"Green beans are now the normal price."
Superstore
Mmm.
"Mmm."
Superstore
[upbeat music plays]
"[upbeat music plays]"
Superstore
I like this one, but I don't think we can do Funfetti.
"I like this one, but I don't think we can do Funfetti."
Superstore
Jerry's family is very conservative.
"Jerry's family is very conservative."
Superstore
It's homemade.
"It's homemade."
Superstore
- Oh, you... you made that? - Yeah, just for you.
"- Oh, you... you made that? - Yeah, just for you."
Superstore
- Oh. - Come on, open up.
"- Oh. - Come on, open up."
Superstore
So good.
"So good."
Superstore
Oh, what up, Amy?
"Oh, what up, Amy?"
Superstore
What up, Dave, is that I asked you hours ago
"What up, Dave, is that I asked you hours ago"
Superstore
to assemble the Turtle Wax endcap, and it's still not done.
"to assemble the Turtle Wax endcap, and it's still not done."
Superstore
You know what? This is your third strike this month.
"You know what? This is your third strike this month."
Superstore
more foot traffic and et ceteras.
"more foot traffic and et ceteras."
Superstore
because that would be, like, bad management.
"because that would be, like, bad management."
Superstore
Know what I'm saying?
"Know what I'm saying?"
Superstore
No. No, no, no.
"No. No, no, no."
Superstore
and I'm a... I'm a woman of my word.
"and I'm a... I'm a woman of my word."
Superstore
So... so all of those things put together
"So... so all of those things put together"
Superstore
means you're fired.
"means you're fired."
Superstore
- No, Dave, no. - No, no, no.
"- No, Dave, no. - No, no, no."
Superstore
No, nobody is getting fired today, all right?
"No, nobody is getting fired today, all right?"
Superstore
Amy, why don't you and I go have lunch?
"Amy, why don't you and I go have lunch?"
Superstore
♪
"♪"
Superstore
[imitates siren]
"[imitates siren]"
Superstore
so he wouldn't have some violent outburst
"so he wouldn't have some violent outburst"
Superstore
But maybe Maya's got
"But maybe Maya's got"
Superstore
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm sure that's what it is.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm sure that's what it is."
Superstore
♪
"♪"
Superstore
This is not good.
"This is not good."
Superstore