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Clips from Superstore - Shoplifter (S01E01)

"My great-grandma died the same way."
Superstore
"Her mom too. Bad genes, I guess."
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"Thank you."
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"- Okay, a moment of silence. - Nope."
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"Thank you."
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"It was the fanciest one in the store."
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"There we go."
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"My sitter canceled, and she's hanging out"
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"You told her I was incompetent?"
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"Ba-na-na-na. Talk about me at home?"
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"Hey, Garrett."
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"I don't think, um, Jonah has very much experience"
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"Um... yeah. Okay. Uh..."
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"Oh, "Maze Runner!""
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"I didn't steal anything."
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"Well..."
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"Oh."
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"If only that had worked."
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"- My home is all about... - Hey, hey, hey!"
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"I'm pregnant, and I have so little..."
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"I invented fake crying."
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"Wow, you could be in a Lifetime movie."
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"- Thanks. - We gonna do this the easy way."
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"Marcus Aurelius."
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"Oh, that's even better."
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"with our boss right now, and I don't want"
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"to get her in trouble, so..."
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"I got my first period!"
Superstore
"Wait, so you detained her without proof?"
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"She could sue the store! Do you remember Linda Beavers?"
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"That's an order."
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"I can handle it."
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"And I'm in the men's room."
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"but don't worry, I can handle it."
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"Are you sure?"
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"This is not about me."
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"- I'm leaving. - Okay."
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"and that stupid little ponytail you're forced to wear."
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"I know you stole."
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"We're just getting started, lady!"
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"And it's all held together by a mucus plug,"
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"- Hey, uh, Dina? - I'm in a hurry."
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"It was a Tuesday. Unseasonably warm."
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"- I drop eggs hard. - All right, uh..."
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"but it didn't."
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"She died alone. Well, she will die alone."
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"Hey! You! Rodriguez! Follow me."
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"I'm busy. My name's not "Rodriguez.""
Superstore
"but right now, you're the only person I trust."
Superstore
"but we can skip that."
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"I'm an 11-year-old girl. Do I like pads or tampons?"
Superstore
"Hyp... hypothetically."
Superstore
"What do you know about periods?"
Superstore
"This'll work."
Superstore
"Okay, good cop, bad cop."
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"Yeah, just, you can set it down."
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"Yep, these are colorful. Oh!"
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"I got to be honest, none of these really look easy to use."
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"It's boxing."
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"Guess you're free to go, courtesy of one broken camera."
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"I just realized."
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"I think you're just supposed to open it."
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"From... or... nope, I broke it."
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"Uh..."
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"Can't wait to see you bust that filthy bitch to hell."
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"I genuinely hate this lady."
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"- It was one mistake. - I'm leaving."
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"I can't waste another minute of my life"
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"Dina, I'm a man of truth and principle,"
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"Yeah! I lied!"
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"Kill 'em. Blow 'em up."
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"Hey. Just once?"
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"Whoop-whoop!"
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"What are you doing? He's so peaceful. Just let him be."
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"Man, if I got to be awake, he got to be awake."
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"Black people taking over!"
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"Ooh. That usually wakes 'em up."
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"- He's not... - No, he couldn't be."
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"Hey, hey, Pop-Pop. Hey... ah!"
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"Oh, Jonah touched a dead guy! Jonah touched a dead guy!"
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"Well, we can likely rule out foul play"
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"according to his license, he was 87."
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"Probably died of old age."
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"So, she just kept the dead man's wallet,"
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"and we're all okay with that?"
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"Finders keepers."
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"Anyway, uh, I thought we should all gather"
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"as a group in sort of a safe space"
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"so that we can share any feelings that we have."
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"Um, is anyone feeling any sadness?"
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"Or shock?"
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"Or guilt?"
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"There are no wrong answers."
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"Yes, Garrett."
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"I guess apathy."
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"I don't got any feelings about this dude."
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"Okay, uh, Garrett, thank you for sharing."
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"Um, is anyone else feeling feelings of apathy?"
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"Okay, well, that's valid."
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"That's va... no, it's not valid! You know what?"
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"No one is leaving this room until I see someone"
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"express some real g-d emotion!"
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"Uh, well, perhaps seeing a dead person today"
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"made us all realize how fragile the journey of life really is."
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"All right, um, why don't we just all."
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"- Bow our heads... - No religion in the workplace."
Superstore
"Not if you're thinking about God."
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"Okay, Amy, could you come and say a few secular words?"
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"Um..."
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"Charles, uh, wasn't just a man"
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"who needed corrective lenses,"
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"he was also not an organ donor."
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"And, um, in conclusion, he lived on Oak Street."
Superstore
"So tragic."
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"What's gonna happen to the couch?"
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"What? The couch?"
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"He died on the fancy couch?"
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"Does that mean it's gonna be on sale?"
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"We don't have to tell anyone somebody died on it."
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"Not disclosing someone died on it is lying."
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