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Clips from Superstore - Mateo's Last Day (S02E02)

"Yeah, Glenn, this is terrible."
Superstore
"That makes sense."
Superstore
"Oh, no, no way. I am just getting used to"
Superstore
"Uh, no. Mateo only needs to transfer"
Superstore
"and their cafe has never given anyone diarrhea."
Superstore
"- That is impressive. - How did you get"
Superstore
"- Voila! - Oh, my God!"
Superstore
"because I can't give zero.""
Superstore
"Uh, he's a full-sized human being,"
Superstore
"is just people tearing other people down."
Superstore
"My friend Corona sells her pee on the Internet."
Superstore
"You're gonna need to talk first."
Superstore
"Oh."
Superstore
"I know."
Superstore
"Do undocumented people have documents?"
Superstore
"Corporate's gonna find out that my documents are fake."
Superstore
"fudge the paperwork or something."
Superstore
"Well, surprise, turns out you're also illegally employing me.""
Superstore
"Fine. Whatever."
Superstore
"that entails some level of mutual attraction and closeness."
Superstore
"an unhappy customer out there who thinks that this place is,"
Superstore
"Let me break this down for everyone."
Superstore
"we have cleaned up the vomit.""
Superstore
"Sorry if I cut out. I'm on a cruise ship."
Superstore
"I think what we're coming to here"
Superstore
"That's crazy."
Superstore
"Or, if you don't wanna get your ass beat,"
Superstore
"Mm-mm."
Superstore
"Your mom's a whore."
Superstore
"I can't hear you. What did you say?"
Superstore
"Your mom is a whore!"
Superstore
"Oh, um, I... so..."
Superstore
"I was gonna say "Friends with" something else."
Superstore
"What were you gonna say?"
Superstore
"Pathetic."
Superstore
"Sorry, this will just be a couple of minutes."
Superstore
"Maybe... maybe close your eyes."
Superstore
"- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Open?"
Superstore
"Here it comes."
Superstore
"No, see, now you're just staring at me"
Superstore
"But now I am."
Superstore
"Oh, say something mean about Beyoncé."
Superstore
"- Well... - Come on."
Superstore
"- Hit me. - I'd like... I'd like to hit you."
Superstore
"- Ow! - Oh!"
Superstore
"Now you go."
Superstore
"I don't know."
Superstore
"Yeah, you really blew it."
Superstore
"Yeah."
Superstore
"Shut up."
Superstore
"I'll get around to it, Ma!"
Superstore
"The point is, he was as mean to me as he was to you."
Superstore
"Oh, that's clever."
Superstore
"You're welcome."
Superstore
"_"
Superstore
"I don't get it. Is he transferring or dying?"
Superstore
"Oh, I didn't make it. Mateo did."
Superstore
"What am I gonna miss the most?"
Superstore
"Uh, the people?"
Superstore
"They're often hilarious"
Superstore
"Simple, basic. Just sort of harmless."
Superstore
"Am I scared?"
Superstore
"Of course I'm scared."
Superstore
"Wait, so, um, who's asking you these questions?"
Superstore
"Uh..."
Superstore
"Whoa."
Superstore
"- That is not your chest. - Yes it is."
Superstore
"Then take off your shirt."
Superstore
"I had a big breakfast."
Superstore
"My advice?"
Superstore
"I guess it would be leaving every place you work at"
Superstore
"a little bit better than when you found it."
Superstore
"Did I do that here? Who can say?"
Superstore
"Yes."
Superstore
"I think I did."
Superstore
"Well, that was a massive waste of time."
Superstore
"Okay, moving on."
Superstore
"We have not had a tornado drill"
Superstore
"in eight years, so we really should..."
Superstore
"I started this journey"
Superstore
"as a small child in the Philippines..."
Superstore
"So the tub faucet is now working,"
Superstore
"but the drain is clogged with... I'm gonna say fur, not hair."
Superstore
"Oh, hold on just one second, please."
Superstore
"Guys, corporate is coming down on employee fraternization"
Superstore
"due to a recent incident."
Superstore
"The incident of you having gay sex with Mateo?"
Superstore
"I'm not at liberty to say."
Superstore
"And we actually just call it sex."
Superstore
"Uh, but the point is, since you two"
Superstore
"have been recently intimate..."
Superstore
"Wait, does this mean we gotta transfer too?"
Superstore
"the wet horse smell coming out of Elias's locker."
Superstore
"because I'm at a district level."
Superstore
"Sorry, that sounded like I was bragging."
Superstore
"- No it didn't. - Okay, the point is,"
Superstore
"I just need you guys to fill out these disclosure forms for me."
Superstore
"Thank you. Hi, sorry about that."
Superstore
"So the phone in my hotel room, yes."
Superstore
"Sometimes when I'm on it, I hear somebody breathing."
Superstore
"This is where you'll be working?"
Superstore
"It looks so different."
Superstore
"It's a Cloud 9 Signature."
Superstore
"They have a beauty concierge, their produce is all organic,"
Superstore
"all these pictures of the store?"
Superstore
"- It's on Yelp. - Ohh, yeah."
Superstore
"It's a website where people post reviews."
Superstore
"Wait, do you think our store has a Yelf?"
Superstore
"I'm sure we do."
Superstore
"Ah, well, it's amazing how quickly"
Superstore
"you all made this about you."
Superstore
"Look at that!"
Superstore
"We're famous! 168 reviews."
Superstore
""Store's okay. I usually stop there"
Superstore
"because it's on my way home.""
Superstore
"We're on his way home."
Superstore
"Uh..."
Superstore
"Wait, stop!"
Superstore
""Cloud 9, more like Cloud 1, as in the one star I'm giving"
Superstore
"Ha! He's a good writer."
Superstore
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