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Clips from Superstore - Testimonials (S05E05)

TV Series 2015–2021 Season 5, Episode 2 22 min ★ 7.9/10 (87,489 ratings) 585 clips
Comedy
- Oh, cool. - Oh, cool, nice.
"- Oh, cool. - Oh, cool, nice."
Superstore
to get a statement from me today.
"to get a statement from me today."
Superstore
and you'll be like, "I don't know,"
"and you'll be like, "I don't know,""
Superstore
♪
"♪"
Superstore
- Hi. - Hi.
"- Hi. - Hi."
Superstore
who let my sweet nephew get ripped away from us,
"who let my sweet nephew get ripped away from us,"
Superstore
When is he gonna be released?
"When is he gonna be released?"
Superstore
It's hard to say, but it'll help
"It's hard to say, but it'll help"
Superstore
exceptional employees.
"exceptional employees."
Superstore
I'm gonna make him look good.
"I'm gonna make him look good."
Superstore
Oh, you don't have to be under oath for this.
"Oh, you don't have to be under oath for this."
Superstore
Kumusta na po?
"Kumusta na po?"
Superstore
So, do you need me
"So, do you need me"
Superstore
Not today. Not ever.
"Not today. Not ever."
Superstore
[laughs]
"[laughs]"
Superstore
Okay, whatever you say.
"Okay, whatever you say."
Superstore
the more she's gonna think it's actually happening.
"the more she's gonna think it's actually happening."
Superstore
And an engagement party is clearly not on my list of duties.
"And an engagement party is clearly not on my list of duties."
Superstore
Why are these all zoo-based?
"Why are these all zoo-based?"
Superstore
So you want me to start with zoo things and then go to other topics
"So you want me to start with zoo things and then go to other topics"
Superstore
but he's not gonna be able to work here
"but he's not gonna be able to work here"
Superstore
once he gets out of detention,
"once he gets out of detention,"
Superstore
[groaning]
"[groaning]"
Superstore
Hey, Cheyenne.
"Hey, Cheyenne."
Superstore
Do you think maybe I could move my stuff into it?
"Do you think maybe I could move my stuff into it?"
Superstore
I already took his room
"I already took his room"
Superstore
And then I ended with, "Mateo's dedication
"And then I ended with, "Mateo's dedication"
Superstore
to customer service is unmatched,
"to customer service is unmatched,"
Superstore
Oh, did you use my line about how the flag
"Oh, did you use my line about how the flag"
Superstore
Yeah, and I said how Mateo's always serving up the tea,
"Yeah, and I said how Mateo's always serving up the tea,"
Superstore
that she was better off now
"that she was better off now"
Superstore
No, Justine, we're supposed to be proving
"No, Justine, we're supposed to be proving"
Superstore
Why would you tell the lawyer that?
"Why would you tell the lawyer that?"
Superstore
No, you're not under oath, Justine!
"No, you're not under oath, Justine!"
Superstore
Everybody knows that!
"Everybody knows that!"
Superstore
I got a brand-new polo.
"I got a brand-new polo."
Superstore
Fresh out of the bag.
"Fresh out of the bag."
Superstore
I just thought I'd look my best because of the, um...
"I just thought I'd look my best because of the, um..."
Superstore
[whispering] Engagement party.
"[whispering] Engagement party."
Superstore
I can't wait to send pictures to my mom.
"I can't wait to send pictures to my mom."
Superstore
I even went out and bought a camera phone.
"I even went out and bought a camera phone."
Superstore
You look great, Sandra. Doesn't she's look great?
"You look great, Sandra. Doesn't she's look great?"
Superstore
That's the perfect outfit for the party.
"That's the perfect outfit for the party."
Superstore
Dude, what are you doing?
"Dude, what are you doing?"
Superstore
You know Dina's not gonna give her a party.
"You know Dina's not gonna give her a party."
Superstore
I'd just throw something together.
"I'd just throw something together."
Superstore
You just leave it.
"You just leave it."
Superstore
You're not gonna leave it, are you?
"You're not gonna leave it, are you?"
Superstore
And I was like, "I think I just broke my tailbone,
"And I was like, "I think I just broke my tailbone,"
Superstore
But I would strike everything he said from the record.
"But I would strike everything he said from the record."
Superstore
So no, sorry.
"So no, sorry."
Superstore
so I just figured that maybe I would...
"so I just figured that maybe I would..."
Superstore
Make me look like a giant a-hole?
"Make me look like a giant a-hole?"
Superstore
Yeah, but... that's not...
"Yeah, but... that's not..."
Superstore
Yeah, gah, okay. Yeah, I got it.
"Yeah, gah, okay. Yeah, I got it."
Superstore
Oh, I like that Mateo gives zero Fs.
"Oh, I like that Mateo gives zero Fs."
Superstore
Guys, we're overthinking this.
"Guys, we're overthinking this."
Superstore
Marriage only works if you originally
"Marriage only works if you originally"
Superstore
that are used in detention cases:
"that are used in detention cases:"
Superstore
I mean, we don't know that he wouldn't do Habitat for Humanity.
"I mean, we don't know that he wouldn't do Habitat for Humanity."
Superstore
through the power of music.
"through the power of music."
Superstore
Are you just telling me the plot to "Sister Act 2"?
"Are you just telling me the plot to "Sister Act 2"?"
Superstore
"Back in the Habit," yes.
""Back in the Habit," yes."
Superstore
So that's wild.
"So that's wild."
Superstore
So, one time, Mateo...
"So, one time, Mateo..."
Superstore
Sandra, this isn't your engagement party.
"Sandra, this isn't your engagement party."
Superstore
Uh, where was I?
"Uh, where was I?"
Superstore
- Mateo. - Mateo.
"- Mateo. - Mateo."
Superstore
Because mine is completely destroyed.
"Because mine is completely destroyed."
Superstore
♪
"♪"
Superstore
so you each have eight seconds
"so you each have eight seconds"
Superstore
Glenn, go.
"Glenn, go."
Superstore
My parents didn't talk to me till I was five
"My parents didn't talk to me till I was five"
Superstore
inside my body... worked out great, though,
"inside my body... worked out great, though,"
Superstore
got to keep the spiders... and all my teeth are fake.
"got to keep the spiders... and all my teeth are fake."
Superstore
Okay, I'm listening.
"Okay, I'm listening."
Superstore
Richard, this is Jeff Sutton from Cloud 9 corporate.
"Richard, this is Jeff Sutton from Cloud 9 corporate."
Superstore
'cause she was too drunk, but I got to listen
"'cause she was too drunk, but I got to listen"
Superstore
to whatever I wanted to on the radio.
"to whatever I wanted to on the radio."
Superstore
but I have to present actual facts, and so far,
"but I have to present actual facts, and so far,"
Superstore
he's sometimes nice, and he has glasses,
"he's sometimes nice, and he has glasses,"
Superstore
but I had to write something down
"but I had to write something down"
Superstore
Anyway, look, I'm sorry,
"Anyway, look, I'm sorry,"
Superstore
You couldn't just say,
"You couldn't just say,"
Superstore
"Pompeii" by Bastille.
""Pompeii" by Bastille."
Superstore
Cloud 9 would have never sent ICE.
"Cloud 9 would have never sent ICE."
Superstore
Wait, I'm sorry.
"Wait, I'm sorry."
Superstore
ICE isn't supposed to do worksite enforcement
"ICE isn't supposed to do worksite enforcement"
Superstore
during a labor dispute.
"during a labor dispute."
Superstore
If you guys have proof
"If you guys have proof"
Superstore
then we might have a better chance.
"then we might have a better chance."
Superstore
and dressy.
"and dressy."
Superstore
Wow, um...
"Wow, um..."
Superstore
okay, well, you two lovebirds
"okay, well, you two lovebirds"
Superstore
Hopefully, we get Charlene. She's new.
"Hopefully, we get Charlene. She's new."
Superstore
they won't even know what they're confessing to.
"they won't even know what they're confessing to."
Superstore
- Putty. - [phone line ringing]
"- Putty. - [phone line ringing]"
Superstore
and I just need to verify some records.
"and I just need to verify some records."
Superstore
at your Ozark Highlands location
"at your Ozark Highlands location"
Superstore
Okay, um, but I'm with ICE,
"Okay, um, but I'm with ICE,"
Superstore
[phone line clicks, dial tone humming]
"[phone line clicks, dial tone humming]"
Superstore
Mmm.
"Mmm."
Superstore
while the flavor isn't as good,
"while the flavor isn't as good,"
Superstore
What do you got there, buddy?
"What do you got there, buddy?"
Superstore
That is probably enough for me.
"That is probably enough for me."
Superstore
And you better hurry.
"And you better hurry."
Superstore
Mm-hmm, yeah. Mm-hmm.
"Mm-hmm, yeah. Mm-hmm."
Superstore
Cool.
"Cool."
Superstore
Um, so before, when you said it was good to see me,
"Um, so before, when you said it was good to see me,"
Superstore
I don't know, buddy.
"I don't know, buddy."
Superstore
Buddy.
"Buddy."
Superstore
♪ Tell me sweet little lies ♪
"♪ Tell me sweet little lies ♪"
Superstore
Yeah, and I'm kicking myself, because if I had just recorded
"Yeah, and I'm kicking myself, because if I had just recorded"
Superstore
What? Really?
"What? Really?"
Superstore
Yeah, yeah. On the record?
"Yeah, yeah. On the record?"
Superstore
But, you know what?
"But, you know what?"
Superstore
[quirky music]
"[quirky music]"
Superstore
Hey, Amy.
"Hey, Amy."
Superstore
Should I send this stuff to his family?
"Should I send this stuff to his family?"
Superstore
Wait.
"Wait."
Superstore
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