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Clips from Superstore - Lottery (S03E03)

TV Series 2015–2021 Season 3, Episode 19 22 min ★ 7.9/10 (87,489 ratings) 538 clips
Comedy
I want the actual shoes off his feet.
"I want the actual shoes off his feet."
Superstore
so I could come back with a bunch of bags and be like,
"so I could come back with a bunch of bags and be like,"
Superstore
I'd drop everything and travel the world.
"I'd drop everything and travel the world."
Superstore
if they really needed me.
"if they really needed me."
Superstore
It's beautiful.
"It's beautiful."
Superstore
The island would be more of a refuge
"The island would be more of a refuge"
Superstore
- Exactly. - Yeah.
"- Exactly. - Yeah."
Superstore
Oh, God, I hope it's not family court, is it?
"Oh, God, I hope it's not family court, is it?"
Superstore
makes me feel self-conscious to ask for money.
"makes me feel self-conscious to ask for money."
Superstore
that no one picks, so that's kind of a good plan.
"that no one picks, so that's kind of a good plan."
Superstore
Hey, if you won, do you think we'd still be friends?
"Hey, if you won, do you think we'd still be friends?"
Superstore
something super out there, like 41 or 50?
"something super out there, like 41 or 50?"
Superstore
Oh, my God, yes. You have to.
"Oh, my God, yes. You have to."
Superstore
Oh, okay, so yeah, no, all you're saying is,
"Oh, okay, so yeah, no, all you're saying is,"
Superstore
No, no, no, no, I just meant like,
"No, no, no, no, I just meant like,"
Superstore
No, no, I meant like, later. Like, in your office.
"No, no, I meant like, later. Like, in your office."
Superstore
I should say that I, um,
"I should say that I, um,"
Superstore
How do these toilet stools work?
"How do these toilet stools work?"
Superstore
You don't even know what I'm talking about.
"You don't even know what I'm talking about."
Superstore
Check out this text from Colleen at the Bel-Ridge store.
"Check out this text from Colleen at the Bel-Ridge store."
Superstore
She's so competitive,
"She's so competitive,"
Superstore
She sounds like a real piece of work.
"She sounds like a real piece of work."
Superstore
You don't even know her.
"You don't even know her."
Superstore
You don't even know the rest of it.
"You don't even know the rest of it."
Superstore
You don't have to push. It just slides out.
"You don't have to push. It just slides out."
Superstore
Really. There wasn't one.
"Really. There wasn't one."
Superstore
It was surprisingly a very rich topic.
"It was surprisingly a very rich topic."
Superstore
I can always bring it back, right?
"I can always bring it back, right?"
Superstore
- Thank you. - But ever since Laurie
"- Thank you. - But ever since Laurie"
Superstore
- No, no, come on. - I'm... I'm...
"- No, no, come on. - I'm... I'm..."
Superstore
Some of my cousins might try to kill me for the money,
"Some of my cousins might try to kill me for the money,"
Superstore
but with installments, they'll need me alive.
"but with installments, they'll need me alive."
Superstore
we could buy something really baller.
"we could buy something really baller."
Superstore
and then tell her, "Sorry, Mariah."
"and then tell her, "Sorry, Mariah.""
Superstore
"It's not 1994 anymore.
""It's not 1994 anymore."
Superstore
you ended up apologizing to him?
"you ended up apologizing to him?"
Superstore
You're just going to take no for an answer?
"You're just going to take no for an answer?"
Superstore
Okay, yeah, I'll just mention it to her
"Okay, yeah, I'll just mention it to her"
Superstore
or it's never going to happen.
"or it's never going to happen."
Superstore
You should do it now while you still got your business suit on.
"You should do it now while you still got your business suit on."
Superstore
It would be a phone call.
"It would be a phone call."
Superstore
she'll hear that business-suit energy.
"she'll hear that business-suit energy."
Superstore
You just need to pick another number.
"You just need to pick another number."
Superstore
you're also not gonna win.
"you're also not gonna win."
Superstore
- You're a dick. - Mm-hmm.
"- You're a dick. - Mm-hmm."
Superstore
Dina, I thought about what you said
"Dina, I thought about what you said"
Superstore
But Miss Neustadt is...
"But Miss Neustadt is..."
Superstore
is like a raise you give yourself.
"is like a raise you give yourself."
Superstore
Let's look at a typical budget for a Cloud 9 employee.
"Let's look at a typical budget for a Cloud 9 employee."
Superstore
at the Italian place with the Irish name that you love.
"at the Italian place with the Irish name that you love."
Superstore
Oh, they have the best spaghetti.
"Oh, they have the best spaghetti."
Superstore
that takes reservations, so I had to track down
"that takes reservations, so I had to track down"
Superstore
I feel like you're just trying to make up for
"I feel like you're just trying to make up for"
Superstore
Not even if the guy is revealed to be
"Not even if the guy is revealed to be"
Superstore
the plants in my garden, and vice versa.
"the plants in my garden, and vice versa."
Superstore
She went to Cabo.
"She went to Cabo."
Superstore
I think stalking her on social media
"I think stalking her on social media"
Superstore
- "Chutzpah"? - Chutzpah.
"- "Chutzpah"? - Chutzpah."
Superstore
who sells a winning lotto ticket get?
"who sells a winning lotto ticket get?"
Superstore
in the 1-in-7-million chance
"in the 1-in-7-million chance"
Superstore
I didn't ask you to do anything.
"I didn't ask you to do anything."
Superstore
Let's get this line moving.
"Let's get this line moving."
Superstore
- and then we get to find it. - Is this all on the yacht?
"- and then we get to find it. - Is this all on the yacht?"
Superstore
Everything is happening on the yacht.
"Everything is happening on the yacht."
Superstore
Oh, well, I mean, you know, that's still pretty...
"Oh, well, I mean, you know, that's still pretty..."
Superstore
- I mean, it's more than we have. - I guess.
"- I mean, it's more than we have. - I guess."
Superstore
I feel like you just think of me as this
"I feel like you just think of me as this"
Superstore
$30 sounds about right for all of this.
"$30 sounds about right for all of this."
Superstore
I could use a little green myself.
"I could use a little green myself."
Superstore
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
"Oh, oh, oh, oh!"
Superstore
but those things really just don't turn well.
"but those things really just don't turn well."
Superstore
And I'm not saying this is what happened,
"And I'm not saying this is what happened,"
Superstore
Chutzpah.
"Chutzpah."
Superstore
an extra buck 50 an hour.
"an extra buck 50 an hour."
Superstore
tonight's winning numbers are:
"tonight's winning numbers are:"
Superstore
Just the bonus of telling Colleen she can suck it...
"Just the bonus of telling Colleen she can suck it..."
Superstore
Enjoy your 5 1/2 million, loser.
"Enjoy your 5 1/2 million, loser."
Superstore
This is a stupid game for stupid people.
"This is a stupid game for stupid people."
Superstore
- a triangle with your arms. - Okay.
"- a triangle with your arms. - Okay."
Superstore
Okay? You're a clock.
"Okay? You're a clock."
Superstore
Okay, so next...
"Okay, so next..."
Superstore
- Put my arms around... - Just do it, Jonah.
"- Put my arms around... - Just do it, Jonah."
Superstore
Okay, so, uh...
"Okay, so, uh..."
Superstore
- Hands overlap. - Mm-hmm.
"- Hands overlap. - Mm-hmm."
Superstore
So I can cancel our table.
"So I can cancel our table."
Superstore
- Okay. - Okay, not just our arms.
"- Okay. - Okay, not just our arms."
Superstore
And...
"And..."
Superstore
- I certainly didn't. - Whoo!
"- I certainly didn't. - Whoo!"
Superstore
No, no, no, no, not fore, nobody says...
"No, no, no, no, not fore, nobody says..."
Superstore
whenever you feel like saying that.
"whenever you feel like saying that."
Superstore
- That is incorrect. - Fore!
"- That is incorrect. - Fore!"
Superstore
The Missouri lottery is the highest it's been in 20 years.
"The Missouri lottery is the highest it's been in 20 years."
Superstore
Oh, man, I'd love to win the lottery.
"Oh, man, I'd love to win the lottery."
Superstore
Yeah, I'd stop washing the sheets on my futon.
"Yeah, I'd stop washing the sheets on my futon."
Superstore
I'd just buy new ones every day.
"I'd just buy new ones every day."
Superstore
I'd get a bunch of vintage Jordans.
"I'd get a bunch of vintage Jordans."
Superstore
If I won, you would not see me here tomorrow.
"If I won, you would not see me here tomorrow."
Superstore
That is for sure. I would be taking
"That is for sure. I would be taking"
Superstore
Thursdays off from now on.
"Thursdays off from now on."
Superstore
- I'd buy a private island. - That's my plan too!
"- I'd buy a private island. - That's my plan too!"
Superstore
I'd go to really expensive stores,
"I'd go to really expensive stores,"
Superstore
hoping that white women would be rude to me,
"hoping that white women would be rude to me,"
Superstore
Like "Pretty Woman."
"Like "Pretty Woman.""
Superstore
You know? No plans, no ties.
"You know? No plans, no ties."
Superstore
Just me and the open road.
"Just me and the open road."
Superstore
So if you're ditching Kelly, dibs.
"So if you're ditching Kelly, dibs."
Superstore
- Oh, no, I didn't... - Yeah, no.
"- Oh, no, I didn't... - Yeah, no."
Superstore
Enjoy the open road. Send me a postcard.
"Enjoy the open road. Send me a postcard."
Superstore
I could probably make Thursdays work,
"I could probably make Thursdays work,"
Superstore
If I won, I would resurrect
"If I won, I would resurrect"
Superstore
and then own the dodo.
"and then own the dodo."
Superstore
I'd donate my winnings to my favorite charity.
"I'd donate my winnings to my favorite charity."
Superstore
They pair wounded veterans with dogs who have been rescued
"They pair wounded veterans with dogs who have been rescued"
Superstore
from dog-fighting rings.
"from dog-fighting rings."
Superstore
Part of their therapy is making art that they sell
"Part of their therapy is making art that they sell"
Superstore
to raise funds for the children's hospital.
"to raise funds for the children's hospital."
Superstore
I, well, I mean, I would also give to charity.
"I, well, I mean, I would also give to charity."
Superstore
Yeah, I mean, that's obviously...
"Yeah, I mean, that's obviously..."
Superstore
Of course I'd give.
"Of course I'd give."
Superstore
Not me. I'll stick with my Jordans idea.
"Not me. I'll stick with my Jordans idea."
Superstore
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