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Clips from Superstore - Guns, Pills and Birds (S02E02)

"Oh, uh... oh."
Superstore
"I fenced in college, but there's..."
Superstore
"- Okay. - What?"
Superstore
"He has a moral objection to guns."
Superstore
"Does that happen?"
Superstore
"- I need my pizzas to be perfect. - I get it."
Superstore
"Ahh!"
Superstore
"I have a lot of cool sneakers and a very active sex life."
Superstore
"Just gonna grab it from..."
Superstore
"just the 9-millimeter..."
Superstore
"Ahh! Gun! Gun, gun, gun, gun, gun!"
Superstore
"Gun, gun, gun!"
Superstore
"I love the morning-after pill."
Superstore
"Because it we're gonna kill it... We're not gonna kill it."
Superstore
"You don't need any other reasons."
Superstore
"- Yeah. - I just got laid off."
Superstore
"Actually, I don't know how fast that is."
Superstore
"You're just saying just run pretty fast, right?"
Superstore
"Okeydokey."
Superstore
"No. Gross."
Superstore
"I am in a huge rush."
Superstore
"Birds don't have genitalia as we're familiar with."
Superstore
"This is bad."
Superstore
"And I'll be standing right here,"
Superstore
"Well, each pill is over 40 bucks."
Superstore
"Mm."
Superstore
"I'm gonna have to return these."
Superstore
"Mm."
Superstore
"No, you can't return pills."
Superstore
"Were you?"
Superstore
"Fine."
Superstore
"but you need to use some common sense."
Superstore
"Why don't you let it go, Jonah?"
Superstore
"you might not even be planning on using the pill."
Superstore
"or drop 'em in a Diet Coke to see if they fizz up."
Superstore
"that you're getting so angry is only proving my point."
Superstore
"Whoa, whoa!"
Superstore
"Okay, but let's not let this little gun thing"
Superstore
"They are equally as dangerous."
Superstore
"Why are they here?"
Superstore
"Technically, this is Amy's fault."
Superstore
"Oh, and if you're planning on"
Superstore
"Attention."
Superstore
"I need everyone in the store to be completely silent"
Superstore
"Oh!"
Superstore
"There's a crow"
Superstore
"Yeah!"
Superstore
"I can say whatever I want to say."
Superstore
"Will everybody please just shut up!"
Superstore
"- We can't all... - Get up high."
Superstore
"whenever we want to."
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"Be a grown-up."
Superstore
"No, I'm, like, 70% sure he's alive."
Superstore
"Watch it!"
Superstore
"It's fine."
Superstore
"Wait a second."
Superstore
"No, it's fine. I'm working the gun counter."
Superstore
"Well, you can't stop me, so..."
Superstore
"- Yes, I am your supervisor. - What are you..."
Superstore
"Spent his Sunday walking to a farmers' market."
Superstore
"Gotcha!"
Superstore
"And you treated it humanely."
Superstore
"You know?"
Superstore
"Hello, ma'am."
Superstore
"Oh, you monster."
Superstore
"Gabby is in soft lines,"
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"Elias, grocery,"
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"Jonah, you're at the gun counter."
Superstore
"Can I switch with somebody?"
Superstore
"I just... I don't really believe in guns."
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"I mean, I'm just..."
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"kind of against selling them"
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"or buying them"
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"or owning them."
Superstore
"- You don't have a gun? - No, what do I need a gun for?"
Superstore
"Home security. Hunting."
Superstore
"I mean, without guns,"
Superstore
"how are you gonna properly start a drag race?"
Superstore
"Vaya con dios, amigos."
Superstore
"Without a gun, I do not know"
Superstore
"how I would stop that raccoon"
Superstore
"from trying to impregnate my Winnie the Pooh lawn ornament."
Superstore
"Okay, look, I'm not..."
Superstore
"I'm not, like, against weapons as a whole."
Superstore
"- What are you doing? - Oh, I'm keeping a list"
Superstore
"of all the crazy white-person stuff you say."
Superstore
"Oh, fencing, that's definitely going on there."
Superstore
"- What else is on there. - Oh, it's long."
Superstore
"I got wearing boat shoes, BBC America,"
Superstore
"makes his own trail mix..."
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"- You love my trail mix. - All right, okay."
Superstore
"It's fine. Jonah, you can trade with..."
Superstore
"Wait, wait, wait."
Superstore
"We can just say no to a shift assignment?"
Superstore
"Because I would rather not be in the fitting rooms."
Superstore
"They're basically just fart capsules."
Superstore
"Can I not be in menswear?"
Superstore
"Everything there reminds me of my ex-boyfriend, Brian."
Superstore
"No, guys, what Jonah is asking for is different."
Superstore
"I'd be in the same position if the store asked us"
Superstore
"to start selling, you know, hashish"
Superstore
"or the morning-after pill."
Superstore
"We sell the morning-after pill."
Superstore
"What?"
Superstore
"I don't wanna sell rice anymore."
Superstore
"It doesn't taste like anything."
Superstore
"And Oriental..."
Superstore
"All right, all right, all right."
Superstore
"Okay."
Superstore
"No changing shift assignments."
Superstore
"Okay, I get that we don't like selling guns or pills or rice,"
Superstore
"but we sell all those things in the store."
Superstore
"End of story. Jonah, you stay on guns."
Superstore
"Okay, fine, but I want my objection noted."
Superstore
"Oh, that whole phrase is going on the list."
Superstore
"Oh, so I get put on Instruments of Death duty"
Superstore
"and you get picking up pizzas."
Superstore
"and I have the whole weekend to myself."
Superstore
"And you know what? There is nothing cooler"
Superstore
"than spending two days at home alone"
Superstore
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