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Clips from Moonlighting - The Straight Poop (S03E03)

TV Movies 1985 Season 3, Episode 9 722 clips
Crime

Episodes from this show

Title Season Episode
Moonlighting (Pilot) 1 1
Gunfight at the So-So Corral 1 2
Read the Mind... See the Movie 1 3
The Next Murder You Hear 1 4
Next Stop Murder 1 5
The Murder's in the Mail 1 6
Brother, Can You Spare a Blonde? 2 1
The Lady in the Iron Mask 2 2
Money Talks... Maddie Walks 2 3
The Dream Sequence Always Rings Twice 2 4
My Fair David 2 5
Knowing Her 2 6
Somewhere Under the Rainbow 2 7
Portrait of Maddie 2 8
Atlas Belched 2 9
Twas the Episode Before Christmas 2 10
The Bride of Tupperman 2 11
North by North DiPesto 2 12
In God We Strongly Suspect 2 13
Every Daughter's Father Is a Virgin 2 14
Witness for the Execution 2 15
Sleep Talkin' Guy 2 16
Funeral for a Door Nail 2 17
Camille 2 18
The Son Also Rises 3 1
The Man Who Cried Wife 3 2
Symphony in Knocked Flat 3 3
Yours, Very Deadly 3 4
All Creatures Great... and Not So Great 3 5
Big Man on Mulberry Street 3 6
Atomic Shakespeare 3 7
It's a Wonderful Job 3 8
The Straight Poop 3 9
Title Season Episode
Poltergeist III 3 10
Blonde on Blonde 3 11
Sam & Dave 3 12
Maddie's Turn to Cry 3 13
I Am Curious... Maddie 3 14
To Heiress Human 3 15
A Trip to the Moon 4 1
Come Back Little Shiksa 4 2
Take a Left at the Altar 4 3
Tale in Two Cities 4 4
Cool Hand Dave: Part 1 4 5
Cool Hand Dave: Part 2 4 6
Father Knows Last 4 7
Los Dos Dipestos 4 8
Fetal Attraction 4 9
Tracks of My Tears 4 10
Eek! A Spouse! 4 11
Maddie Hayes Got Married 4 12
Here's Living with You, Kid 4 13
And the Flesh Was Made Word 4 14
A Womb with a View 5 1
Between a Yuk and a Hard Place 5 2
The Color of Maddie 5 3
Plastic Fantastic Lovers 5 4
Shirts and Skins 5 5
Take My Wife, for Example 5 6
I See England, I See France, I See Maddie's Netherworld 5 7
Those Lips, Those Lies 5 8
Perfetc 5 9
When Girls Collide 5 10
In 'N Outlaws 5 11
Eine Kleine Nacht Murder 5 12
Lunar Eclipse 5 13
Just a second.
"Just a second."
Moonlighting
I'm right behind you.
"I'm right behind you."
Moonlighting
-We're moving. -Do we have to?
"-We're moving. -Do we have to?"
Moonlighting
Just stay away from me.
"Just stay away from me."
Moonlighting
I'll be honest, Maddie...
"I'll be honest, Maddie..."
Moonlighting
-He got what he deserved. -You don't know that.
"-He got what he deserved. -You don't know that."
Moonlighting
...to the act of procreation as boinking?
"...to the act of procreation as boinking?"
Moonlighting
-I'm not listening. -It makes you crazy...
"-I'm not listening. -It makes you crazy..."
Moonlighting
See what happens when you tick off the big guy?
"See what happens when you tick off the big guy?"
Moonlighting
Good afternoon, Ms. Hayes.
"Good afternoon, Ms. Hayes."
Moonlighting
...I'm not sure of anything else, except he's Chinese, a big clue by itself.
"...I'm not sure of anything else, except he's Chinese, a big clue by itself."
Moonlighting
-Time to go. -Time to go.
"-Time to go. -Time to go."
Moonlighting
-They're exhibiting the new Gauguin. -Gauguin?
"-They're exhibiting the new Gauguin. -Gauguin?"
Moonlighting
Okay. All right. I admit it.
"Okay. All right. I admit it."
Moonlighting
David, I don't think we wanna have this discussion.
"David, I don't think we wanna have this discussion."
Moonlighting
Reverse!
"Reverse!"
Moonlighting
-No, it couldn't be. -Didn't get one. No.
"-No, it couldn't be. -Didn't get one. No."
Moonlighting
-Okay, I'm rolling. Speed. -Camera's ready.
"-Okay, I'm rolling. Speed. -Camera's ready."
Moonlighting
And Rona, you are live.
"And Rona, you are live."
Moonlighting
No new episode again.
"No new episode again."
Moonlighting
And America wants to know why.
"And America wants to know why."
Moonlighting
So I've come here to the home of the Blue Moon Detective Agency...
"So I've come here to the home of the Blue Moon Detective Agency..."
Moonlighting
...to speak with the players themselves:
"...to speak with the players themselves:"
Moonlighting
Maddie Hayes, David Addison...
"Maddie Hayes, David Addison..."
Moonlighting
...their friends, their colleagues, their lovers.
"...their friends, their colleagues, their lovers."
Moonlighting
Who are these two people?
"Who are these two people?"
Moonlighting
What makes them tick, and what went wrong?
"What makes them tick, and what went wrong?"
Moonlighting
What about the rumors? Is there friction?
"What about the rumors? Is there friction?"
Moonlighting
Or are TIME magazine, USA Today...
"Or are TIME magazine, USA Today..."
Moonlighting
...The National Enquirer and Star just misinformed?
"...The National Enquirer and Star just misinformed?"
Moonlighting
This is the famous Blue Moon corridor, and this is the elevator...
"This is the famous Blue Moon corridor, and this is the elevator..."
Moonlighting
...from which Maddie Hayes used to emerge every Tuesday night...
"...from which Maddie Hayes used to emerge every Tuesday night..."
Moonlighting
...to discover David Addison, limboing, or running Santa's hot line...
"...to discover David Addison, limboing, or running Santa's hot line..."
Moonlighting
...or ogling women in a skyscraper across the way.
"...or ogling women in a skyscraper across the way."
Moonlighting
But the elevator is empty tonight...
"But the elevator is empty tonight..."
Moonlighting
...and David isn't limboing, ogling or doing anything else.
"...and David isn't limboing, ogling or doing anything else."
Moonlighting
This is the famous Blue Moon door, forever opening and closing...
"This is the famous Blue Moon door, forever opening and closing..."
Moonlighting
...being slammed by Maddie Hayes and David Addison...
"...being slammed by Maddie Hayes and David Addison..."
Moonlighting
...in fits of rage and spurts of passion.
"...in fits of rage and spurts of passion."
Moonlighting
Tonight, it sits silent, still...
"Tonight, it sits silent, still..."
Moonlighting
...waiting to get banged.
"...waiting to get banged."
Moonlighting
Is that right? Waiting to get banged?
"Is that right? Waiting to get banged?"
Moonlighting
Go, go, go, Rona.
"Go, go, go, Rona."
Moonlighting
Miss DiPesto, I'm Rona Barrett, and I'm here to see Maddie and David.
"Miss DiPesto, I'm Rona Barrett, and I'm here to see Maddie and David."
Moonlighting
They're not in.
"They're not in."
Moonlighting
What am I doing? I can't lie to Rona Barrett.
"What am I doing? I can't lie to Rona Barrett."
Moonlighting
They're in. But they won't see anybody. They won't talk to anybody.
"They're in. But they won't see anybody. They won't talk to anybody."
Moonlighting
-They won't even talk to each other. -Well, I'm going to get them.
"-They won't even talk to each other. -Well, I'm going to get them."
Moonlighting
Excuse me, gentlemen. Excuse me, please.
"Excuse me, gentlemen. Excuse me, please."
Moonlighting
David Addison? David, are you in there?
"David Addison? David, are you in there?"
Moonlighting
-Go away. -David, I want to talk to you.
"-Go away. -David, I want to talk to you."
Moonlighting
Scram. I ain't taking to anybody.
"Scram. I ain't taking to anybody."
Moonlighting
David, this is Rona Barrett.
"David, this is Rona Barrett."
Moonlighting
Hi, Rona. Sorry, I didn't know it was you.
"Hi, Rona. Sorry, I didn't know it was you."
Moonlighting
David, it's 9:00. Eight o'clock Central time.
"David, it's 9:00. Eight o'clock Central time."
Moonlighting
You and Maddie are supposed to be fighting and romancing...
"You and Maddie are supposed to be fighting and romancing..."
Moonlighting
-...courting and sparking. -Yeah, yeah. I know, I know.
"-...courting and sparking. -Yeah, yeah. I know, I know."
Moonlighting
You're supposed to be making us laugh, making us cry.
"You're supposed to be making us laugh, making us cry."
Moonlighting
-I know. -So, what's the story?
"-I know. -So, what's the story?"
Moonlighting
-Have you talked to her yet? -No, I came to see you first.
"-Have you talked to her yet? -No, I came to see you first."
Moonlighting
You're gonna have to talk to her, Rona.
"You're gonna have to talk to her, Rona."
Moonlighting
I'm sorry.
"I'm sorry."
Moonlighting
You're gonna have to talk to her. I'm really sorry--
"You're gonna have to talk to her. I'm really sorry--"
Moonlighting
Come on.
"Come on."
Moonlighting
Ladies, sisters, excu--
"Ladies, sisters, excu--"
Moonlighting
Maddie, Maddie Hayes? It's Rona Barrett.
"Maddie, Maddie Hayes? It's Rona Barrett."
Moonlighting
Can we come in and speak with you?
"Can we come in and speak with you?"
Moonlighting
What? Rona-- Rona Barrett?
"What? Rona-- Rona Barrett?"
Moonlighting
-Maddie, can we come in? -Just a second.
"-Maddie, can we come in? -Just a second."
Moonlighting
-Hi, Rona. -Maddie.
"-Hi, Rona. -Maddie."
Moonlighting
You brought a camera crew with you.
"You brought a camera crew with you."
Moonlighting
Hi, Rona.
"Hi, Rona."
Moonlighting
This is Moonlighting episode "The Straight Pop"--
"This is Moonlighting episode "The Straight Pop"--"
Moonlighting
Sorry, "Straight Poop."
"Sorry, "Straight Poop.""
Moonlighting
We're going to run a little test: One, two, three, four.
"We're going to run a little test: One, two, three, four."
Moonlighting
Test one, two, three, four. Sounds pretty good.
"Test one, two, three, four. Sounds pretty good."
Moonlighting
Give me a 10, if you got one there. No 10? All right, give me an eight.
"Give me a 10, if you got one there. No 10? All right, give me an eight."
Moonlighting
Okay, seven, six, five, four-- We're doing fine.
"Okay, seven, six, five, four-- We're doing fine."
Moonlighting
Three. Here we go.
"Three. Here we go."
Moonlighting
Maddie, let's begin at the beginning.
"Maddie, let's begin at the beginning."
Moonlighting
Here you are, the owner of a very successful detective agency...
"Here you are, the owner of a very successful detective agency..."
Moonlighting
...and then here's this guy. He's a little crude. He's a little brash.
"...and then here's this guy. He's a little crude. He's a little brash."
Moonlighting
How did you two meet?
"How did you two meet?"
Moonlighting
I mean, when did it first begin?
"I mean, when did it first begin?"
Moonlighting
Well, let's say it wasn't the best day of my life.
"Well, let's say it wasn't the best day of my life."
Moonlighting
Hello.
"Hello."
Moonlighting
Hello.
"Hello."
Moonlighting
My goodness, Miss DiPesto, looking a little pale today, aren't we?
"My goodness, Miss DiPesto, looking a little pale today, aren't we?"
Moonlighting
-Who's this? -I don't know. She just came in--
"-Who's this? -I don't know. She just came in--"
Moonlighting
Now, now, no reason to be shy.
"Now, now, no reason to be shy."
Moonlighting
Let's see a little confidence, charisma, Dale Carnegie.
"Let's see a little confidence, charisma, Dale Carnegie."
Moonlighting
Remember, lesson one: imagine your entire audience is completely naked.
"Remember, lesson one: imagine your entire audience is completely naked."
Moonlighting
It boggles the mind, doesn't it? Amscray, will you?
"It boggles the mind, doesn't it? Amscray, will you?"
Moonlighting
Terrible thing, shyness. Believe me, I know, but don't worry.
"Terrible thing, shyness. Believe me, I know, but don't worry."
Moonlighting
We're gonna get her the best help there is. Better than the best.
"We're gonna get her the best help there is. Better than the best."
Moonlighting
She's come a long way already. Why, when I first found her...
"She's come a long way already. Why, when I first found her..."
Moonlighting
...she was nothing but a poor little urchin, out on the street, urchining.
"...she was nothing but a poor little urchin, out on the street, urchining."
Moonlighting
-But you don't wanna hear that. -I don't wanna hear that.
"-But you don't wanna hear that. -I don't wanna hear that."
Moonlighting
Okay. So my name is David Addison and your name is--?
"Okay. So my name is David Addison and your name is--?"
Moonlighting
-Maddie Hayes. -Maddie Hayes and--
"-Maddie Hayes. -Maddie Hayes and--"
Moonlighting
-Don't I know you? -No, I don't think we've met.
"-Don't I know you? -No, I don't think we've met."
Moonlighting
Wait a second, can't fool me.
"Wait a second, can't fool me."
Moonlighting
The eyes don't lie. Not these babies. Photographic.
"The eyes don't lie. Not these babies. Photographic."
Moonlighting
See something once, it's locked in forever.
"See something once, it's locked in forever."
Moonlighting
Really? I didn't notice anything locked in there.
"Really? I didn't notice anything locked in there."
Moonlighting
Don't change the subject. I'm a bloodhound.
"Don't change the subject. I'm a bloodhound."
Moonlighting
-Once I'm on to something... -That's good...
"-Once I'm on to something... -That's good..."
Moonlighting
-..I'lIl get it, I'll get it. -...but that's not--
"-..I'lIl get it, I'll get it. -...but that's not--"
Moonlighting
All right, you might've seen my pictures somewhere.
"All right, you might've seen my pictures somewhere."
Moonlighting
-I knew it. -No flies on you.
"-I knew it. -No flies on you."
Moonlighting
Nope, there certainly aren't. Whatever that means.
"Nope, there certainly aren't. Whatever that means."
Moonlighting
-When I came in-- -Are we talking late '70s?
"-When I came in-- -Are we talking late '70s?"
Moonlighting
Year's a little fuzzy for me, but I'll bet the house that you were a Miss March.
"Year's a little fuzzy for me, but I'll bet the house that you were a Miss March."
Moonlighting
-A Miss what? -Miss March. A Playmate of the month.
"-A Miss what? -Miss March. A Playmate of the month."
Moonlighting
What, about 19767?
"What, about 19767?"
Moonlighting
I can see the whole layout in my head. You like jazz...
"I can see the whole layout in my head. You like jazz..."
Moonlighting
...your favorite movie was Jonathan Livingston Seagull...
"...your favorite movie was Jonathan Livingston Seagull..."
Moonlighting
...you wanted to help underprivileged kids. Am I right?
"...you wanted to help underprivileged kids. Am I right?"
Moonlighting
I mean, I can see the whole layout in my head.
"I mean, I can see the whole layout in my head."
Moonlighting
...here in my office, completely dressed, almost a decade later.
"...here in my office, completely dressed, almost a decade later."
Moonlighting