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Clips from Moonlighting - Take My Wife, for Example (S05E05)

TV Movies 1985 Season 5, Episode 6 748 clips
Crime
I have to request the absence of your client.
"I have to request the absence of your client."
Moonlighting
The truth is I would've been on time if my cab hadn't got in a wreck.
"The truth is I would've been on time if my cab hadn't got in a wreck."
Moonlighting
-I got overhead. -Such as?
"-I got overhead. -Such as?"
Moonlighting
I should probably upgrade my sound system.
"I should probably upgrade my sound system."
Moonlighting
-I'm sorry. -Oh, don't be. I earned my title.
"-I'm sorry. -Oh, don't be. I earned my title."
Moonlighting
-I understand you. -Good.
"-I understand you. -Good."
Moonlighting
I understand. I don't agree, but I understand.
"I understand. I don't agree, but I understand."
Moonlighting
What if Mr. Kraft's favourite colour is lavender?
"What if Mr. Kraft's favourite colour is lavender?"
Moonlighting
...that I've destroyed a marriage that could've worked out...
"...that I've destroyed a marriage that could've worked out..."
Moonlighting
You want me to set you up?
"You want me to set you up?"
Moonlighting
No, go ahead, I'd like to hear you explain.
"No, go ahead, I'd like to hear you explain."
Moonlighting
Of course I'm right.
"Of course I'm right."
Moonlighting
-I knew you'd get mad. -I'm not mad.
"-I knew you'd get mad. -I'm not mad."
Moonlighting
You must mean okay like A-OK, right?
"You must mean okay like A-OK, right?"
Moonlighting
Are you ready?
"Are you ready?"
Moonlighting
I'm glad to see you taking an interest in the employees.
"I'm glad to see you taking an interest in the employees."
Moonlighting
I have never had anything like this.
"I have never had anything like this."
Moonlighting
Well, Maddie, for the first time in my life, I'm speechless.
"Well, Maddie, for the first time in my life, I'm speechless."
Moonlighting
Calling Lydia Kraft to the stand.
"Calling Lydia Kraft to the stand."
Moonlighting
-How we doing? -Good news.
"-How we doing? -Good news."
Moonlighting
Turns out Nathan Kraft isn't the only name on Joleen's dance card.
"Turns out Nathan Kraft isn't the only name on Joleen's dance card."
Moonlighting
You of all people deserve to know the truth.
"You of all people deserve to know the truth."
Moonlighting
...understands the purpose of what seems to us...
"...understands the purpose of what seems to us..."
Moonlighting
-Joleen. -Joleen.
"-Joleen. -Joleen."
Moonlighting
We saw him with Joleen 10 miles from the beach.
"We saw him with Joleen 10 miles from the beach."
Moonlighting
Lydia, why did you lie to us?
"Lydia, why did you lie to us?"
Moonlighting
Working with a professional of your stature...
"Working with a professional of your stature..."
Moonlighting
Be a good boy, huh?
"Be a good boy, huh?"
Moonlighting
Okay, Buster.
"Okay, Buster."
Moonlighting
Okay, Buster.
"Okay, Buster."
Moonlighting
Okay, Buster. It's all right.
"Okay, Buster. It's all right."
Moonlighting
You've had a chance to look this over.
"You've had a chance to look this over."
Moonlighting
May I suggest we get down to business?
"May I suggest we get down to business?"
Moonlighting
I think you'll see that our proposal is reasonable and fair.
"I think you'll see that our proposal is reasonable and fair."
Moonlighting
More than fair.
"More than fair."
Moonlighting
Now, we've given you your division of the community property.
"Now, we've given you your division of the community property."
Moonlighting
We've given you the Tebonn portfolio.
"We've given you the Tebonn portfolio."
Moonlighting
Full title to the foreign real estate.
"Full title to the foreign real estate."
Moonlighting
And you get the parrots.
"And you get the parrots."
Moonlighting
Now, my client wants this settlement to be amicable as possible.
"Now, my client wants this settlement to be amicable as possible."
Moonlighting
Then don't jerk us around on the alimony.
"Then don't jerk us around on the alimony."
Moonlighting
How's Lydia supposed to maintain her lifestyle on this figure?
"How's Lydia supposed to maintain her lifestyle on this figure?"
Moonlighting
I don't care about the money. She can have anything she wants.
"I don't care about the money. She can have anything she wants."
Moonlighting
I just wanna make sure that we're doing the right thing here.
"I just wanna make sure that we're doing the right thing here."
Moonlighting
Have we really tried everything?
"Have we really tried everything?"
Moonlighting
-Nathan, this was your idea. -Maybe.
"-Nathan, this was your idea. -Maybe."
Moonlighting
Maybe I'm having second thoughts.
"Maybe I'm having second thoughts."
Moonlighting
Oh, this is not a counselling session.
"Oh, this is not a counselling session."
Moonlighting
Oldest story in the book.
"Oldest story in the book."
Moonlighting
Your client pleads irreconcilable differences...
"Your client pleads irreconcilable differences..."
Moonlighting
...until he sees the alimony figure on the paper and suddenly...
"...until he sees the alimony figure on the paper and suddenly..."
Moonlighting
...my client's little annoying habits aren't so annoying after all.
"...my client's little annoying habits aren't so annoying after all."
Moonlighting
He doesn't want you back, he wants a discount, right?
"He doesn't want you back, he wants a discount, right?"
Moonlighting
-Don't bully my client. -Don't insult us with the offer.
"-Don't bully my client. -Don't insult us with the offer."
Moonlighting
Lydia, can I talk to you alone?
"Lydia, can I talk to you alone?"
Moonlighting
I do not want you to talk to her at all. You talk to me.
"I do not want you to talk to her at all. You talk to me."
Moonlighting
-It wouldn't do any harm if I spoke-- -Please, trust me.
"-It wouldn't do any harm if I spoke-- -Please, trust me."
Moonlighting
I've seen this a thousand times. He'll do or say just anything...
"I've seen this a thousand times. He'll do or say just anything..."
Moonlighting
-...to soften the financial blow. -All I want is a chance to try to--
"-...to soften the financial blow. -All I want is a chance to try to--"
Moonlighting
-I know what you want and-- -Why don't you shut up?
"-I know what you want and-- -Why don't you shut up?"
Moonlighting
Why don't we reconvene when your client has control of himself?
"Why don't we reconvene when your client has control of himself?"
Moonlighting
Is this the way you represent my wife's interests...
"Is this the way you represent my wife's interests..."
Moonlighting
...by driving a wedge between us?
"...by driving a wedge between us?"
Moonlighting
If you need to blame me for your inadequacies as a husband, fine.
"If you need to blame me for your inadequacies as a husband, fine."
Moonlighting
-Where did you dig up this bulldog? -Oh, now just stop it.
"-Where did you dig up this bulldog? -Oh, now just stop it."
Moonlighting
Don't pull that routine on me.
"Don't pull that routine on me."
Moonlighting
Who do you think you are, ordering me around like that?
"Who do you think you are, ordering me around like that?"
Moonlighting
-My marriage counsellor-- -Now, the offer is fair.
"-My marriage counsellor-- -Now, the offer is fair."
Moonlighting
-I see what you're doing. -You stuff your offer!
"-I see what you're doing. -You stuff your offer!"
Moonlighting
And I don't like it.
"And I don't like it."
Moonlighting
Oh, my God. Nathan, call an ambulance.
"Oh, my God. Nathan, call an ambulance."
Moonlighting
Right away.
"Right away."
Moonlighting
We got a rhythm, but she's shooting PVCs.
"We got a rhythm, but she's shooting PVCs."
Moonlighting
Okay, let's give her a bolus, 75-milligram lidocaine, IV push.
"Okay, let's give her a bolus, 75-milligram lidocaine, IV push."
Moonlighting
Give me one amp sodium bicarb, stat.
"Give me one amp sodium bicarb, stat."
Moonlighting
-BP, 50/0. No pulse. -Defib, 400-watt seconds.
"-BP, 50/0. No pulse. -Defib, 400-watt seconds."
Moonlighting
Let's go. Ready? Clear.
"Let's go. Ready? Clear."
Moonlighting
Let's go again.
"Let's go again."
Moonlighting
Clear.
"Clear."
Moonlighting
Mr. A--
"Mr. A--"
Moonlighting
David, our meeting was supposed to start at 8:30.
"David, our meeting was supposed to start at 8:30."
Moonlighting
-Big hand's on 6, little hand on 8. -A pyjama shirt?
"-Big hand's on 6, little hand on 8. -A pyjama shirt?"
Moonlighting
-Yes, it's the latest rage for the fall. -Scoff at a big retainer.
"-Yes, it's the latest rage for the fall. -Scoff at a big retainer."
Moonlighting
Steady flow of casework, contacts, referrals, profits.
"Steady flow of casework, contacts, referrals, profits."
Moonlighting
The client is late.
"The client is late."
Moonlighting
We have time to figure out how we're gonna handle this. Look at this.
"We have time to figure out how we're gonna handle this. Look at this."
Moonlighting
I'm not some kind of machine you can turn on. I need a cup of joe.
"I'm not some kind of machine you can turn on. I need a cup of joe."
Moonlighting
A trip to the little boy's room, a glance at the Sports page.
"A trip to the little boy's room, a glance at the Sports page."
Moonlighting
If you'd show up earlier...
"If you'd show up earlier..."
Moonlighting
It used to be, "Get here on time." Now you want earlier?
"It used to be, "Get here on time." Now you want earlier?"
Moonlighting
Maybe you should set up housekeeping here in the office.
"Maybe you should set up housekeeping here in the office."
Moonlighting
This would make a nice master bedroom.
"This would make a nice master bedroom."
Moonlighting
The dog ate your homework. Cabs don't get in wrecks.
"The dog ate your homework. Cabs don't get in wrecks."
Moonlighting
That's what I kept telling this guy. "You can't shave and drive."
"That's what I kept telling this guy. "You can't shave and drive.""
Moonlighting
But did he listen? No.
"But did he listen? No."
Moonlighting
The hood ornament on his car is going to the D on a diaper truck.
"The hood ornament on his car is going to the D on a diaper truck."
Moonlighting
-Why were you in a cab? -You ever try handling a rickshaw?
"-Why were you in a cab? -You ever try handling a rickshaw?"
Moonlighting
What happened to your car? It's been in the shop since I met you--
"What happened to your car? It's been in the shop since I met you--"
Moonlighting
I don't think I recall ever seeing your car.
"I don't think I recall ever seeing your car."
Moonlighting
Because it's so fast.
"Because it's so fast."
Moonlighting
-Where is it? -What?
"-Where is it? -What?"
Moonlighting
Why don't you drive it?
"Why don't you drive it?"
Moonlighting
-You don't drive a car like that. -Why not?
"-You don't drive a car like that. -Why not?"
Moonlighting
It kind of belongs to somebody else.
"It kind of belongs to somebody else."
Moonlighting
-You kind of sold it? -The shop did.
"-You kind of sold it? -The shop did."
Moonlighting
The repair shop sold your car out from under you?
"The repair shop sold your car out from under you?"
Moonlighting
Well, it wasn't a repair shop exactly.
"Well, it wasn't a repair shop exactly."
Moonlighting
It was more along the lines of a pawnshop.
"It was more along the lines of a pawnshop."
Moonlighting
-A pawnshop? -Honest Ethan's.
"-A pawnshop? -Honest Ethan's."
Moonlighting
When it comes to finances, you're a nitwit.
"When it comes to finances, you're a nitwit."
Moonlighting
This from Ms. Chapter 11.
"This from Ms. Chapter 11."
Moonlighting
-I don't throw money around. -Neither do I.
"-I don't throw money around. -Neither do I."
Moonlighting
Well, I wouldn't call hocking your car a sound business.
"Well, I wouldn't call hocking your car a sound business."
Moonlighting
Well, let me see, there's-- Well....
"Well, let me see, there's-- Well...."
Moonlighting
A mortgage? Life-insurance premiums?
"A mortgage? Life-insurance premiums?"
Moonlighting
Supporting a family?
"Supporting a family?"
Moonlighting
What do you have to show for piddling away your salary?
"What do you have to show for piddling away your salary?"
Moonlighting
See this smile?
"See this smile?"
Moonlighting
-I couldn't live like that. -Well, that's your problem.
"-I couldn't live like that. -Well, that's your problem."
Moonlighting
One of many, I might add. See, the problem with you is...
"One of many, I might add. See, the problem with you is..."
Moonlighting