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Clips from Arrested Development - Justice Is Blind (S01E01)

Short Films 2003 Season 1, Episode 17 6 min ★ 7.1/10 (322 ratings) 409 clips
Short

Episodes from this show

Title Season Episode
Pilot 1 1
Top Banana 1 2
Bringing Up Buster 1 3
Key Decisions 1 4
Charity Drive 1 5
Visiting Ours 1 6
In God We Trust 1 7
My Mother the Car 1 8
Pier Pressure 1 10
Public Relations 1 11
Marta Complex 1 12
Shock and Aww 1 14
Staff Infection 1 15
Altar Egos 1 16
Justice Is Blind 1 17
Missing Kitty 1 18
Best Man for the Gob 1 19
Whistler's Mother 1 20
Not Without My Daughter 1 21
Let 'Em Eat Cake 1 22
The One Where Michael Leaves 2 1
The One Where They Build a House 2 2
Amigos 2 3
Good Grief! 2 4
Sad Sack 2 5
Afternoon Delight 2 6
Switch Hitter 2 7
Queen for a Day 2 8
Burning Love 2 9
Hand to God 2 12
Motherboy XXX 2 13
The Immaculate Election 2 14
Sword of Destiny 2 15
Meat the Veals 2 16
Spring Breakout 2 17
Righteous Brothers 2 18
The Cabin Show 3 1
For British Eyes Only 3 2
Forget Me Now 3 3
Notapusy 3 4
Title Season Episode
Mr. F 3 5
The Ocean Walker 3 6
Prison Break-In 3 7
Making a Stand 3 8
S.O.B.s 3 9
Fakin' It 3 10
Family Ties 3 11
Exit Strategy 3 12
Development Arrested 3 13
Flight of the Phoenix 4 1
Borderline Personalities 4 2
Indian Takers 4 3
The B. Team 4 4
A New Start 4 5
Double Crossers 4 6
Colony Collapse 4 7
Red Hairing 4 8
Smashed 4 9
Queen B. 4 10
A New Attitude 4 11
Señoritis 4 12
It Gets Better 4 13
Off the Hook 4 14
Blockheads 4 15
Family Leave 5 1
Self-Deportation 5 2
Everyone Gets Atrophy 5 3
An Old Start 5 4
Sinking Feelings 5 5
Emotional Baggage 5 6
Rom-Traum 5 7
Premature Independence 5 8
Unexpected Company 5 9
Taste Makers 5 10
Chain Migration 5 11
Check Mates 5 12
The Untethered Sole 5 13
Saving for Arraignment Day 5 14
Courting Disasters 5 15
The Fallout 5 16
Michael Bluth and his family had gathered at the courthouse...
"Michael Bluth and his family had gathered at the courthouse..."
Arrested Development
to discuss George Sr. 's upcoming trial.
"to discuss George Sr. 's upcoming trial."
Arrested Development
Do not ask me how I did it...
"Do not ask me how I did it..."
Arrested Development
they offered us a plea bargain.
"they offered us a plea bargain."
Arrested Development
Really? There's a chance we don't have to go to trial?
"Really? There's a chance we don't have to go to trial?"
Arrested Development
Absolutely, and I say we take it...
"Absolutely, and I say we take it..."
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because we will never get an offer this good again.
"because we will never get an offer this good again."
Arrested Development
- Wow. - Great. What's the offer?
"- Wow. - Great. What's the offer?"
Arrested Development
Well, I didn't read it. I just got it yesterday.
"Well, I didn't read it. I just got it yesterday."
Arrested Development
F.Y.I., I'm trying to get back into the dating world.
"F.Y.I., I'm trying to get back into the dating world."
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Hey, you're not one of those silly men that's dressed like a woman, are you?
"Hey, you're not one of those silly men that's dressed like a woman, are you?"
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No, baby. I'm the real thing.
"No, baby. I'm the real thing."
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I don't understand how a person can put their sex life in front of their work.
"I don't understand how a person can put their sex life in front of their work."
Arrested Development
He's a man, Michael. He needs a woman.
"He's a man, Michael. He needs a woman."
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Can we get back to work, folks?
"Can we get back to work, folks?"
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We've only got 24 hours to respond...
"We've only got 24 hours to respond..."
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and no matter what this is, it is better than going to trial.
"and no matter what this is, it is better than going to trial."
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Your father's not here. I'll speak for him.
"Your father's not here. I'll speak for him."
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He loves it. He's crazy about the plea.
"He loves it. He's crazy about the plea."
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He's dying to get out of that prison and be with a woman again.
"He's dying to get out of that prison and be with a woman again."
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In fact, George Sr. had a woman in his life...
"In fact, George Sr. had a woman in his life..."
Arrested Development
Cindi Lightballoon, a fan ofhis Caged Wisdom video series...
"Cindi Lightballoon, a fan ofhis Caged Wisdom video series..."
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with whom he'd had fleeting physical contact.
"with whom he'd had fleeting physical contact."
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That morning however, she had some startling news for him.
"That morning however, she had some startling news for him."
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I'm a mole.
"I'm a mole."
Arrested Development
Well, you know, God doesn't care how big your teeth are.
"Well, you know, God doesn't care how big your teeth are."
Arrested Development
Yes, you could go to a dentist. You could... Whoo.
"Yes, you could go to a dentist. You could... Whoo."
Arrested Development
You could grind off about... I don't know... 30%, maybe more. Yeah, I wouldn't miss it.
"You could grind off about... I don't know... 30%, maybe more. Yeah, I wouldn't miss it."
Arrested Development
No, no, no. I mean, I'm an undercover government agent.
"No, no, no. I mean, I'm an undercover government agent."
Arrested Development
I was sent here to investigate you.
"I was sent here to investigate you."
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Up until last week, my being in love with you was just an act.
"Up until last week, my being in love with you was just an act."
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- Hmm. - But now I want to be with you.
"- Hmm. - But now I want to be with you."
Arrested Development
And I know you can beat this case they have against you.
"And I know you can beat this case they have against you."
Arrested Development
I know this for a fact.
"I know this for a fact."
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I want to fight this thing. I can beat it. I know it for a fact.
"I want to fight this thing. I can beat it. I know it for a fact."
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- We're taking the plea. - Lucille, we're not taking a plea.
"- We're taking the plea. - Lucille, we're not taking a plea."
Arrested Development
We don't even know what the plea is yet.
"We don't even know what the plea is yet."
Arrested Development
Is that a shot at me? 'Cause that makes me want to read it less.
"Is that a shot at me? 'Cause that makes me want to read it less."
Arrested Development
- You have another one of these? - Yes, I do.
"- You have another one of these? - Yes, I do."
Arrested Development
- We'll both read it. - You're going to read that?
"- We'll both read it. - You're going to read that?"
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- Yeah. - It's pretty thick.
"- Yeah. - It's pretty thick."
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He thinks he's a lawyer 'cause he played one in 10th grade.
"He thinks he's a lawyer 'cause he played one in 10th grade."
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In order to satisfy an English requirement...
"In order to satisfy an English requirement..."
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Michael appeared in the drama club's production...
"Michael appeared in the drama club's production..."
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of an original play, The Trial of Captain Hook.
"of an original play, The Trial of Captain Hook."
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- I don't remember that. - Well, you left during my solo.
"- I don't remember that. - Well, you left during my solo."
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And I'm surprised my twin sister can remember that...
"And I'm surprised my twin sister can remember that..."
Arrested Development
considering she was repeating the ninth grade at the time.
"considering she was repeating the ninth grade at the time."
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- I don't remember that. - Big surprise, Mom.
"- I don't remember that. - Big surprise, Mom."
Arrested Development
It's not like you ever took an interest in our lives.
"It's not like you ever took an interest in our lives."
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Honestly, if I ever did to Maeby what you-
"Honestly, if I ever did to Maeby what you-"
Arrested Development
Lindsay recalled that earlier that day...
"Lindsay recalled that earlier that day..."
Arrested Development
she had received a letter from the high school about her own daughter.
"she had received a letter from the high school about her own daughter."
Arrested Development
And so later, Lindsay and Tobias tried a more hands-on approach to parenting.
"And so later, Lindsay and Tobias tried a more hands-on approach to parenting."
Arrested Development
We would like you to tutor our daughter.
"We would like you to tutor our daughter."
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Now, of course, we're having a bit of a cash-flow problem...
"Now, of course, we're having a bit of a cash-flow problem..."
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but I assure you...
"but I assure you..."
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if you bring our little girl's grades up...
"if you bring our little girl's grades up..."
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I will pack your sweet pink mouth with so much ice cream...
"I will pack your sweet pink mouth with so much ice cream..."
Arrested Development
you'll be the envy of everyJerry and Jane on the block.
"you'll be the envy of everyJerry and Jane on the block."
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We're the only house on the block.
"We're the only house on the block."
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Perhaps we should get somebody else.
"Perhaps we should get somebody else."
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Michael, meanwhile, had gone to the bar across the street from the courthouse...
"Michael, meanwhile, had gone to the bar across the street from the courthouse..."
Arrested Development
to read the plea offer.
"to read the plea offer."
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Not to exceed five years, but no less than three.
"Not to exceed five years, but no less than three."
Arrested Development
- So what do you think? - I don't know.
"- So what do you think? - I don't know."
Arrested Development
I'm so mad at Barry I can't even focus. That guy's out dating?
"I'm so mad at Barry I can't even focus. That guy's out dating?"
Arrested Development
- I mean, I'd love to be dating, but l... - Can't relax?
"- I mean, I'd love to be dating, but l... - Can't relax?"
Arrested Development
No. I don't have time for a relationship. This is important.
"No. I don't have time for a relationship. This is important."
Arrested Development
No one said anything about a relationship, Michael.
"No one said anything about a relationship, Michael."
Arrested Development
If you'd slept with more than four women, you'd know that.
"If you'd slept with more than four women, you'd know that."
Arrested Development
- I have, Gob. - More than five?
"- I have, Gob. - More than five?"
Arrested Development
Let's say five. This is a courthouse bar, Michael.
"Let's say five. This is a courthouse bar, Michael."
Arrested Development
These are professional, aggressive women...
"These are professional, aggressive women..."
Arrested Development
who are looking for nothing more than a one-night stand.
"who are looking for nothing more than a one-night stand."
Arrested Development
No real names, no promises.
"No real names, no promises."
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I'm not a one-night stand kind of guy. I don't like lying to women.
"I'm not a one-night stand kind of guy. I don't like lying to women."
Arrested Development
These are lawyers... that's Latin for liar.
"These are lawyers... that's Latin for liar."
Arrested Development
I can't believe I'm still reading the same sentence.
"I can't believe I'm still reading the same sentence."
Arrested Development
How can something be no less than three if it exceeds six?
"How can something be no less than three if it exceeds six?"
Arrested Development
I mean, six is still more than three, right?
"I mean, six is still more than three, right?"
Arrested Development
Yeah, and it's still more than five.
"Yeah, and it's still more than five."
Arrested Development
- Oh! Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. - It's okay.
"- Oh! Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. - It's okay."
Arrested Development
- I'm falling all over you. - Let me move down.
"- I'm falling all over you. - Let me move down."
Arrested Development
I'm just working on this plea.
"I'm just working on this plea."
Arrested Development
If you're pleading with me to have a drink with you, you can stop begging.
"If you're pleading with me to have a drink with you, you can stop begging."
Arrested Development
No, no. It's a...
"No, no. It's a..."
Arrested Development
It's a plea for this case that I'm... I'm sorry... you want a drink.
"It's a plea for this case that I'm... I'm sorry... you want a drink."
Arrested Development
Well, I didn't come here for the view.
"Well, I didn't come here for the view."
Arrested Development
- I'll have a vodka martini. - I'll tell him.
"- I'll have a vodka martini. - I'll tell him."
Arrested Development
- So, another lawyer, huh? - Vodka martini!
"- So, another lawyer, huh? - Vodka martini!"
Arrested Development
I'm Maggie Lizer, as in Maggie lies her ass off.
"I'm Maggie Lizer, as in Maggie lies her ass off."
Arrested Development
One person laughed at that once, and I don't know why I keep trying it.
"One person laughed at that once, and I don't know why I keep trying it."
Arrested Development
- No, it's good. Yeah. - What kind of law do you practice?
"- No, it's good. Yeah. - What kind of law do you practice?"
Arrested Development
Maritime. Maritime law. Lawyers of the sea.
"Maritime. Maritime law. Lawyers of the sea."
Arrested Development
Oh. Submarine chaser.
"Oh. Submarine chaser."
Arrested Development
What's your name?
"What's your name?"
Arrested Development
- Chareth. - Chareth.
"- Chareth. - Chareth."
Arrested Development
Oh. So then what's your last name?
"Oh. So then what's your last name?"
Arrested Development
- Cute story... - Cutestory?
"- Cute story... - Cutestory?"
Arrested Development
Yes. Chareth Cutestory.
"Yes. Chareth Cutestory."
Arrested Development
- That's an interesting name. - Is it?
"- That's an interesting name. - Is it?"
Arrested Development
So here's the test that I failed.
"So here's the test that I failed."
Arrested Development
Oh, okay. Yeah, I see the problem right away.
"Oh, okay. Yeah, I see the problem right away."
Arrested Development
You, uh... You got all the answers wrong.
"You, uh... You got all the answers wrong."
Arrested Development
You know you, you even got your name wrong here. It says, S. F¸nke.
"You know you, you even got your name wrong here. It says, S. F¸nke."
Arrested Development
Yeah, well, see, what they want you to do...
"Yeah, well, see, what they want you to do..."
Arrested Development
is put an S if you're single, an M if you're married.
"is put an S if you're single, an M if you're married."
Arrested Development
I mean, most of us are all single, but it's a whole government thing, so...
"I mean, most of us are all single, but it's a whole government thing, so..."
Arrested Development
Yeah. Okay. The first thing you want to do when you're dealing with fractions...
"Yeah. Okay. The first thing you want to do when you're dealing with fractions..."
Arrested Development
Yeah. So I'm gonna go, okay?
"Yeah. So I'm gonna go, okay?"
Arrested Development
Yeah. So I'm gonna go, okay?
"Yeah. So I'm gonna go, okay?"
Arrested Development
So just fill in all the right answers here, and I'll see where I went wrong.
"So just fill in all the right answers here, and I'll see where I went wrong."
Arrested Development
And you're getting paid for this right?
"And you're getting paid for this right?"
Arrested Development
There was talk of ice cream, but not exactly on my terms.
"There was talk of ice cream, but not exactly on my terms."
Arrested Development
Wow! Where did you get all that? Do you have a job or something?
"Wow! Where did you get all that? Do you have a job or something?"
Arrested Development
No, but you do.
"No, but you do."
Arrested Development
Now, look. Don't feel guilty.
"Now, look. Don't feel guilty."
Arrested Development
I don't really need tutoring anyways, okay?
"I don't really need tutoring anyways, okay?"
Arrested Development
- Enjoy the 200 bucks. - Oh, there... there's six 20s here.
"- Enjoy the 200 bucks. - Oh, there... there's six 20s here."
Arrested Development