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Clips from Arrested Development - The One Where They Build a House (S02E02)

"Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything..."
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"and the one son who had no choice..."
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"but to keep them all together."
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"It's Arrested Development."
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"[Man Narrating] Michael Bluth was at home working on a plan to save the company."
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"How's this for a business model? We make the company look like it's in the black..."
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"by starting construction on the phase two development."
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"I know what you're thinking, we're not in the black."
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"How're we gonna build 30 houses without any money? We don't. We build one-"
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"then we have a huge ribbon-cutting ceremony while raising funds for the others."
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"[Narrator] Michael's father always unveiled his construction projects..."
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"with a highly publicized ribbon-cutting ceremony."
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"He even did so for the prison he built..."
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"and, somewhat ironically, would later occupy."
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"The only difference is this time I get to cut the ribbon. What do you think?"
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"There's a cream with real diamonds in it."
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"I can actually smear diamonds on my face, and it's only $400 a tub."
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"That's like, what, like a million diamonds for $400?"
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"- Mm. - A million- [Bleeps] diamonds."
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"- Okay. - Is she on you about that diamond cream?"
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"My husband's jealous because since we decided to have an open marriage..."
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"I've been doing a little better than he has."
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"It is not a competition, Lindsay."
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"We are doing this to save our marriage."
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"But I should be telling you that I have been meeting my fair share of groupies."
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"Or should I say Bluepies?"
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"[Narrator] Tobias had recently auditioned as an understudy..."
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"for the silent performance art trio, the Blue Man Group."
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"- And this is Kids from Bye, Bye, Birdie. - [Piano]"
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"[Narrator] He had yet to hear back from them."
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"You guys really think you have the guts to go through with this seeing other people thing?"
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"[Narrator] In fact, neither Lindsay nor Tobias did have the guts to go through with it."
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"- I already have. - I have too."
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"Can I buy you a drink?"
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"- No. - [Narrator] Lindsay, because she'd lost her self-confidence."
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"I'd like to buy you a drink. Where's she going?"
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"[Narrator] And Tobias, because he was busy keeping an eye on Lindsay."
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"Who are you gonna bring to this ribbon-cutting dance?"
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"It's not a dance, and you don't need a date. Although, George Michael..."
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"I'd love for you to come with me when I cut the ribbon at the new house."
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"Oh, wow. Hey, can I bring Ann?"
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"Who?"
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"Ann. You know, she's- she's the girl I'm kinda hanging out with."
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"- I haven't met Ann. - Yes, you have."
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"- [Narrator] Michael had met Ann. - You let her in."
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"See, that's her right over there."
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"- Oh, Ann. Yes, yes, yes, yes. - Yeah."
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"I know Ann. Hey, you! She's got a little hard-boiled egg going there."
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"Oh, it's so cute. She sometimes takes a little pack of mayonnaise..."
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"and she'll squirt it in her mouth, and then she'll take an egg..."
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"and kind of- mmm."
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"She calls it a mayonn-egg."
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"- Are you okay? - I don't feel so good."
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"You know, I kind of wanna buy her a diamond."
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"- Her? - Ann."
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"I know I can't afford it, but Aunt Lindsay was telling me about this diamond cream."
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"George Michael, um, I'm sure that Egg is a very nice person. I just don't want you spending-"
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"- It's Ann. Her na- - all your money getting her all glittered up for Easter."
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"You know? More importantly, I want us to do this together."
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"Kinda like a father-son sort of thing, you know?"
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"And since Pop-Pop is no longer president, we get to do it."
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"- I thought Gob was president. - Yeah, and I don't have any problem with that."
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"[Narrator] In fact, since Michael's father escaped from prison..."
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"his brother Gob had been made president, albeit in name only."
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"Which is why Michael was surprised when he got to work the next day."
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"- You're still in my office. - Gosh, Michael, I am kind of the president."
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"And I have no problem with that. But it is just a title, remember?"
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"Just doing this to appease the stockholders, while they scrutinize me for Dad's crimes."
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"Hey, Dad may have illegally built some homes in Iraq, which is kinda not cool."
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"I know, but that's why I've got a business model..."
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"that I think is going to restore the image of our company."
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"We're going to build a second model home."
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"That's great. Can I announce it to the board?"
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"Gee, it is my business model."
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"If you had a business model, then by all means, go in there and do your little dance."
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"Tell you what we're gonna do. Rock, paper, scissors for it."
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"- No, no, I'm not interested in doing- - One, two, three."
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"- Paper covers rock. - It is a rock though. It should beat everything."
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"There's not a lot of logic to it. It's like on a boat with Women and children first."
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"Why should they-which, before I forget, I'm buying a company boat."
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"Sorry?"
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"[Narrator] That morning, Gob had gone to a boat show, where he saw something he wanted."
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"- Hello. - Hi."
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"- What a beauty. - Thank you."
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"- I meant you. - Well."
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"[Narrator] Gob flirted with her for a while, and finally asked for her number."
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"- Let's get some digits. - I'm sorry. I don't give it out without a firm offer."
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"Oh, I'll make you a firm offer."
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"[Narrator] Unfortunately, she wasn't flirting."
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"And here again, please."
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"- The Seaward. - You're not getting a boat."
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"- One, two, three. - No, not gonna do it."
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"- Paper covers rock. - Fine. But rock sinks boat."
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"- Michael? - Mom, I'm right in the middle of something."
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"- Get rid of the Seaward. - I'll leave when I'm good and ready."
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"It's about your Uncle Oscar. I want him to move in with you."
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"You're not kicking him out already, are you?"
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"[Narrator] Michael's uncle had recently moved into Lucille's apartment..."
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"where they quickly rekindled a long-dormant romance."
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"- It was a secret she hoped to keep- - Oscar, we'll be heard."
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"- and he didn't. - That's what makes it so hot."
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"[Buster] Mother?"
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"Mother!"
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"- I heard zoo noises. - It's nothing. Go back to bed."
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"So, everybody's still up, huh?"
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"[Whimpering]"
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"It's not fair to Buster. He's a nervous wreck right now."
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"He's going into the army, for God's sake."
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"You volunteered him."
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"I knew you were going to throw that in my face."
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"Don't worry about it, okay? They're never gonna take him anyway."
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"[Narrator] At that moment, Buster was taking his physical at the recruitment center."
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"I don't have a hole in my heart. I've never opened my eyes underwater."
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"My- [Whispers] Reproductive organ..."
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"is shaped like- [Whispers] a lobster tail..."
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"but without its shell, hmm?"
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"Oh, I guess I have the panic attacks under control."
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"Oh, and I'm legally blind at night."
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"[Narrator] But Buster had miscalculated the army's current need for personnel."
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"Okay, then, let's get you fitted for a uniform."
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