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Clips from Cheers - Where There's a Will... (S02E02)

AND YOU CAN DIVIDE IT AS YOU SEE FIT.

"AND YOU CAN DIVIDE IT AS YOU SEE FIT."

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NO, NO, MR. KRAMER--

"NO, NO, MR. KRAMER--"

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SORRY, SAM, I'VE GOT TO RUN.

"SORRY, SAM, I'VE GOT TO RUN."

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DON'T DO THIS TO ME.

"DON'T DO THIS TO ME."

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GOOD-BYE, EVERYBODY. GOOD NIGHT, AND THANKS AGAIN.

"GOOD-BYE, EVERYBODY. GOOD NIGHT, AND THANKS AGAIN."

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GOOD NIGHT, MR. KRAMER.

"GOOD NIGHT, MR. KRAMER."

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YEAH, YEAH. DON'T BE A STRANGER. SAMMY...

"YEAH, YEAH. DON'T BE A STRANGER. SAMMY..."

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HEY, COME ON, WOULD YOU? STOP IT.

"HEY, COME ON, WOULD YOU? STOP IT."

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NOW, I'M GONNA TRY TO DIVIDE THIS UP FAIR AND SQUARE,

"NOW, I'M GONNA TRY TO DIVIDE THIS UP FAIR AND SQUARE,"

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BUT PLEASE, JUST NO APPEALS TO FRIENDSHIP AND SENTIMENT.

"BUT PLEASE, JUST NO APPEALS TO FRIENDSHIP AND SENTIMENT."

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NONE OF THAT KISSY, KISSY STUFF.

"NONE OF THAT KISSY, KISSY STUFF."

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HOW MUCH EVIDENCE DO YOU NEED, SAM?

"HOW MUCH EVIDENCE DO YOU NEED, SAM?"

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DOES THERE HAVE TO BE BLOODSHED?

"DOES THERE HAVE TO BE BLOODSHED?"

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DESTROY THE WILL.

"DESTROY THE WILL."

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LET'S KILL HER!

"LET'S KILL HER!"

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YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!

"YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!"

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HEY, WAIT.

"HEY, WAIT."

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[BELL CLANGS]

"[BELL CLANGS]"

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WHAT'S IT GONNA BE, SAM?

"WHAT'S IT GONNA BE, SAM?"

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YEAH, COME ON, SAMMY, WALK LIKE A MAN.

"YEAH, COME ON, SAMMY, WALK LIKE A MAN."

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OK. EVERYBODY IN THIS ROOM RIGHT NOW GETS AN EQUAL SHARE.

"OK. EVERYBODY IN THIS ROOM RIGHT NOW GETS AN EQUAL SHARE."

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AND THAT'S IT.

"AND THAT'S IT."

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[ALL CLAMOR]

"[ALL CLAMOR]"

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[BELL CLANGS]

"[BELL CLANGS]"

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[GASPS]

"[GASPS]"

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SAM!

"SAM!"

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NOW IT'S OVER. IT'S DONE.

"NOW IT'S OVER. IT'S DONE."

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LET'S JUST EVERYBODY GET BACK TO NORMAL HERE.

"LET'S JUST EVERYBODY GET BACK TO NORMAL HERE."

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WE SHOULD'VE KILLED HER WHEN WE HAD THE CHANCE.

"WE SHOULD'VE KILLED HER WHEN WE HAD THE CHANCE."

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WELL, NOW, I HOPE THAT'S TAUGHT YOU ALL A LESSON.

"WELL, NOW, I HOPE THAT'S TAUGHT YOU ALL A LESSON."

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COACH, YOU MEAN ABOUT NOT BEING GREEDY ABOUT MONEY?

"COACH, YOU MEAN ABOUT NOT BEING GREEDY ABOUT MONEY?"

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NO. ALWAYS DISPOSE OF FLAMING MATERIALS PROPERLY.

"NO. ALWAYS DISPOSE OF FLAMING MATERIALS PROPERLY."

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I GUESS WE SHOULD'VE KNOWN.

"I GUESS WE SHOULD'VE KNOWN."

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GUYS LIKE US DON'T GET THAT KIND OF MONEY.

"GUYS LIKE US DON'T GET THAT KIND OF MONEY."

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WELL, LOOK AT IT THIS WAY, GUYS.

"WELL, LOOK AT IT THIS WAY, GUYS."

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WE'RE NO POORER NOW THAN WE WERE WHEN WE CAME IN HERE TONIGHT.

"WE'RE NO POORER NOW THAN WE WERE WHEN WE CAME IN HERE TONIGHT."

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YEAH, YOU CAN TALK. YOU'LL BE A LAWYER SOMEDAY.

"YEAH, YOU CAN TALK. YOU'LL BE A LAWYER SOMEDAY."

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YEAH, YEAH, BUT A BAD ONE.

"YEAH, YEAH, BUT A BAD ONE."

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HEY, WILL YOU GIVE ME A BREAK?

"HEY, WILL YOU GIVE ME A BREAK?"

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WELL, CHEERS IS CHEERS AGAIN...

"WELL, CHEERS IS CHEERS AGAIN..."

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AND I'M RELIEVED.

"AND I'M RELIEVED."

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I'M GOING TO GO THANK SAM,

"I'M GOING TO GO THANK SAM,"

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AND ALL OF YOU SHOULD, TOO.

"AND ALL OF YOU SHOULD, TOO."

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AND BY THE WAY, WITH ALL THE INSANITY ABOUT THE WILL,

"AND BY THE WAY, WITH ALL THE INSANITY ABOUT THE WILL,"

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NO ONE SAID A WORD ABOUT MY NEW HAIRDO.

"NO ONE SAID A WORD ABOUT MY NEW HAIRDO."

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IT STINKS. IT STINKS.

"IT STINKS. IT STINKS."

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THERE, NOW, WAS THAT SO HARD?

"THERE, NOW, WAS THAT SO HARD?"

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SAM...

"SAM..."

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WHAT YOU DID OUT THERE WAS FINE AND NOBLE,

"WHAT YOU DID OUT THERE WAS FINE AND NOBLE,"

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AND I'M VERY PROUD OF YOU.

"AND I'M VERY PROUD OF YOU."

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I CAN TELL BY YOUR LOOK ON YOUR FACE

"I CAN TELL BY YOUR LOOK ON YOUR FACE"

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THAT YOU'RE PROUD OF YOURSELF, HUH?

"THAT YOU'RE PROUD OF YOURSELF, HUH?"

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YES, DIANE, I AM.

"YES, DIANE, I AM."

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I'M--I'M PROUD AND...

"I'M--I'M PROUD AND..."

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RICH.

"RICH."

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WHAT'S THAT?

"WHAT'S THAT?"

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THIS LITTLE BABY IS MY TICKET TO HAPPINESS.

"THIS LITTLE BABY IS MY TICKET TO HAPPINESS."

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THIS IS THE WILL. I PALMED IT, AND I BURNED A PHONY.

"THIS IS THE WILL. I PALMED IT, AND I BURNED A PHONY."

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WHAT? HOW?

"WHAT? HOW?"

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ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?"

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I DO MAGIC, REMEMBER?

"I DO MAGIC, REMEMBER?"

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WATCH THIS.

"WATCH THIS."

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[HUMMING]

"[HUMMING]"

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OOH, LOOKY HERE.

"OOH, LOOKY HERE."

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THAT WAS THE MOST AVARICIOUS,

"THAT WAS THE MOST AVARICIOUS,"

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UNREGENERATE, RAPACIOUS THING YOU'VE EVER DONE.

"UNREGENERATE, RAPACIOUS THING YOU'VE EVER DONE."

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WAIT A SECOND HERE.

"WAIT A SECOND HERE."

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A COUPLE OF THOSE WORDS DIDN'T SOUND VERY NICE.

"A COUPLE OF THOSE WORDS DIDN'T SOUND VERY NICE."

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HOW'S THIS?

"HOW'S THIS?"

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YOU HAVE SUNK SO LOW,

"YOU HAVE SUNK SO LOW,"

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YOU WOULD NEED A LADDER TO KISS A SNAKE'S HINEY.

"YOU WOULD NEED A LADDER TO KISS A SNAKE'S HINEY."

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WELL, THAT'S CLEAR, BUT WHY? I THOUGHT I WAS PRETTY GOOD.

"WELL, THAT'S CLEAR, BUT WHY? I THOUGHT I WAS PRETTY GOOD."

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I SAW WHAT THOSE PEOPLE WERE DOING,

"I SAW WHAT THOSE PEOPLE WERE DOING,"

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GOING AT EACH OTHER'S THROATS OUT THERE.

"GOING AT EACH OTHER'S THROATS OUT THERE."

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IT OCCURRED TO ME THIS WAS THE BEST POSSIBLE SOLUTION.

"IT OCCURRED TO ME THIS WAS THE BEST POSSIBLE SOLUTION."

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HMM.

"HMM."

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OH, COME ON, COME ON, LOOK AT IT LOGICALLY.

"OH, COME ON, COME ON, LOOK AT IT LOGICALLY."

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HOW ARE YOU GOING TO EXPLAIN

"HOW ARE YOU GOING TO EXPLAIN"

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YOUR NEWFOUND RICHES TO THEM?

"YOUR NEWFOUND RICHES TO THEM?"

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GIVE ME A LITTLE CREDIT HERE.

"GIVE ME A LITTLE CREDIT HERE."

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I'M NOT GONNA CHANGE MY LIFESTYLE ALL OF A SUDDEN.

"I'M NOT GONNA CHANGE MY LIFESTYLE ALL OF A SUDDEN."

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MY PURCHASES WILL BE SIMPLE.

"MY PURCHASES WILL BE SIMPLE."

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A TELEVISION MAYBE,

"A TELEVISION MAYBE,"

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A PAIR OF SHOES,

"A PAIR OF SHOES,"

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A COUPLE PAIR OF PANTS,

"A COUPLE PAIR OF PANTS,"

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A TRIP TO THE CANARIES

"A TRIP TO THE CANARIES"

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"IN MY BRAND-NEW 60-FOOT YACHT."

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OH, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT.

"OH, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT."

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HEY, COME ON, YOU'RE MY SWEETIE.

"HEY, COME ON, YOU'RE MY SWEETIE."

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I WANT TO SPLIT THE MONEY WITH YOU.

"I WANT TO SPLIT THE MONEY WITH YOU."

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THINK ABOUT ALL THE GOOD YOU CAN DO

"THINK ABOUT ALL THE GOOD YOU CAN DO"

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WITH THIS MONEY OUT THERE, HUH, HUH?

"WITH THIS MONEY OUT THERE, HUH, HUH?"

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WHAT GOOD COULD COME OF THIS?

"WHAT GOOD COULD COME OF THIS?"

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CHARITIES...

"CHARITIES..."

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WELL, I SUPPOSE ONE COULD DO WONDERS WITH...

"WELL, I SUPPOSE ONE COULD DO WONDERS WITH..."

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A LOT OF MONEY,

"A LOT OF MONEY,"

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IF ONE WERE SO INCLINED.

"IF ONE WERE SO INCLINED."

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I COULD DONATE TO ENVIRONMENTAL CHARITIES.

"I COULD DONATE TO ENVIRONMENTAL CHARITIES."

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DONATE!

"DONATE!"

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FIGHT WORLD HUNGER,

"FIGHT WORLD HUNGER,"

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SAVE ENDANGERED SPECIES,

"SAVE ENDANGERED SPECIES,"

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AND GRAB UP THAT FABULOUS SILK DRESS AT CLAUDINE'S.

"AND GRAB UP THAT FABULOUS SILK DRESS AT CLAUDINE'S."

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YES, YES!

"YES, YES!"

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OH, NO! NOW I'M DOING IT.

"OH, NO! NOW I'M DOING IT."

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I WON'T LET YOU DO THIS TO YOUR FRIENDS.

"I WON'T LET YOU DO THIS TO YOUR FRIENDS."

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WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? RAT ON ME?

"WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? RAT ON ME?"

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UH-HUH. OH, WAIT A SECOND HERE. WAIT A SECOND.

"UH-HUH. OH, WAIT A SECOND HERE. WAIT A SECOND."

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THIS IS WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HERE, ISN'T IT, HUH?

"THIS IS WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HERE, ISN'T IT, HUH?"

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YOU'RE CRAZY.

"YOU'RE CRAZY."

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OH, YEAH, WELL, I MAY BE CRAZY, BUT I'M NOT STUPID.

"OH, YEAH, WELL, I MAY BE CRAZY, BUT I'M NOT STUPID."

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YOU'RE VERY STUPID.

"YOU'RE VERY STUPID."

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I'LL TELL YOU HOW STUPID I AM,

"I'LL TELL YOU HOW STUPID I AM,"

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I SEE THROUGH YOU LIKE A BOOK.

"I SEE THROUGH YOU LIKE A BOOK."

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AH, THAT'S STUPID.

"AH, THAT'S STUPID."

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YOU WANT MY MONEY.

"YOU WANT MY MONEY."

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WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? ARE YOU GONNA BLACKMAIL ME FOR IT, IS THAT IT?

"WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? ARE YOU GONNA BLACKMAIL ME FOR IT, IS THAT IT?"

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HA HA! AW, YOU JUST LOST YOUR BOAT RIDE, BABY.

"HA HA! AW, YOU JUST LOST YOUR BOAT RIDE, BABY."

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YOU CAN'T SLAP ME. I'M A RICH GUY.

"YOU CAN'T SLAP ME. I'M A RICH GUY."

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HOW MUCH LONGER ARE YOU GOING TO DO THIS?

"HOW MUCH LONGER ARE YOU GOING TO DO THIS?"

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I DON'T KNOW YOU. I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU LIKE THIS,

"I DON'T KNOW YOU. I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU LIKE THIS,"

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