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Clips from Cheers - Affairs of the Heart (S02E02)

EXCUSE ME, CUTIE.

"EXCUSE ME, CUTIE."

Cheers

CUTIE? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TALKING TO?

"CUTIE? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TALKING TO?"

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HER.

"HER."

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BETTER BE.

"BETTER BE."

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WELL, AS LONG AS YOU'RE HERE.

"WELL, AS LONG AS YOU'RE HERE."

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I AIN'T HERE.

"I AIN'T HERE."

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WHAT'S THE MATTER?

"WHAT'S THE MATTER?"

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DID WE GET UP ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE WEB THIS MORNING?

"DID WE GET UP ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE WEB THIS MORNING?"

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I HATE IT WHEN THEY CALL ME CUTIE.

"I HATE IT WHEN THEY CALL ME CUTIE."

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WELL I DO KNOW HOW YOU FEEL,

"WELL I DO KNOW HOW YOU FEEL,"

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EARLIER TONIGHT A CUSTOMER HAD THE EFFRONTERY TO REFER TO ME AS HONEY.

"EARLIER TONIGHT A CUSTOMER HAD THE EFFRONTERY TO REFER TO ME AS HONEY."

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BUT THAT MAKES SENSE. HONEY IS BEE BARF.

"BUT THAT MAKES SENSE. HONEY IS BEE BARF."

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[SNORT]

"[SNORT]"

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DOES THAT SNORT MEAN WE WERE AMUSED?

"DOES THAT SNORT MEAN WE WERE AMUSED?"

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NO, NO. DEFINITELY NOT. THAT WAS A SNORT OF DISAPPROVAL.

"NO, NO. DEFINITELY NOT. THAT WAS A SNORT OF DISAPPROVAL."

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* MAKIN' YOUR WAY IN THE WORLD TODAY TAKES EVERYTHING YOU'VE GOT *

"* MAKIN' YOUR WAY IN THE WORLD TODAY TAKES EVERYTHING YOU'VE GOT *"

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* TAKIN' A BREAK FROM ALL YOUR WORRIES *

"* TAKIN' A BREAK FROM ALL YOUR WORRIES *"

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* SURE WOULD HELP A LOT

"* SURE WOULD HELP A LOT"

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* WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO GET AWAY? *

"* WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO GET AWAY? *"

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* SOMETIMES YOU WANNA GO

"* SOMETIMES YOU WANNA GO"

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* WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *

"* WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *"

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* AND THEY'RE ALWAYS GLAD YOU CAME *

"* AND THEY'RE ALWAYS GLAD YOU CAME *"

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* YOU WANNA BE WHERE YOU CAN SEE

"* YOU WANNA BE WHERE YOU CAN SEE"

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* OUR TROUBLES ARE ALL THE SAME *

"* OUR TROUBLES ARE ALL THE SAME *"

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* YOU WANNA BE WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *

"* YOU WANNA BE WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *"

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* YOU WANNA GO WHERE PEOPLE KNOW

"* YOU WANNA GO WHERE PEOPLE KNOW"

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* PEOPLE ARE ALL THE SAME

"* PEOPLE ARE ALL THE SAME"

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* YOU WANNA GO WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *

"* YOU WANNA GO WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *"

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AFTERNOON, EVERYBODY.

"AFTERNOON, EVERYBODY."

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NORM! NORM! NORMAN!

"NORM! NORM! NORMAN!"

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HOW'S LIFE, NORM?

"HOW'S LIFE, NORM?"

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ASK THE MAN WHO'S GOT ONE.

"ASK THE MAN WHO'S GOT ONE."

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AHH, HERE'S MINE NOW.

"AHH, HERE'S MINE NOW."

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AHH, ABOUT THAT, NORM.

"AHH, ABOUT THAT, NORM."

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SAMMY RAISED THE PRICE TO THE DRAFT.

"SAMMY RAISED THE PRICE TO THE DRAFT."

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HEY, I WAS GOING TO TELL HIM, CLIFF.

"HEY, I WAS GOING TO TELL HIM, CLIFF."

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YEAH, BUT YOU WOULD HAVE FOUND SOME WAY TO CUSHION THE BLOW, SAMMY.

"YEAH, BUT YOU WOULD HAVE FOUND SOME WAY TO CUSHION THE BLOW, SAMMY."

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SURE, SAM. WHY NOT? IT'S GET NORM YEAR.

"SURE, SAM. WHY NOT? IT'S GET NORM YEAR."

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JOIN THE FUN.

"JOIN THE FUN."

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HEY, COME ON. IT'S ONLY A QUARTER.

"HEY, COME ON. IT'S ONLY A QUARTER."

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ONLY A QUARTER. THAT'S EASY FOR YOU TO SAY.

"ONLY A QUARTER. THAT'S EASY FOR YOU TO SAY."

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MAYBE THIS WILL CHANGE YOUR TUNE.

"MAYBE THIS WILL CHANGE YOUR TUNE."

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SAM, WATCH IT, HE'S GOING FOR HIS GUN.

"SAM, WATCH IT, HE'S GOING FOR HIS GUN."

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IT'S JUST MY CALCULATOR, COACH.

"IT'S JUST MY CALCULATOR, COACH."

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I'M GOING TO HAVE TO FIGURE OUT

"I'M GOING TO HAVE TO FIGURE OUT"

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HOW MUCH I CAN DRINK,

"HOW MUCH I CAN DRINK,"

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AND STILL STAY WITHIN MY SUDS ALLOWANCE.

"AND STILL STAY WITHIN MY SUDS ALLOWANCE."

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WHAT DO YOU GOT?

"WHAT DO YOU GOT?"

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I'M GOING TO HAVE TO CUT BACK 8.7%.

"I'M GOING TO HAVE TO CUT BACK 8.7%."

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IT COMES OUT TO ONE BEER EVERY HALF HOUR.

"IT COMES OUT TO ONE BEER EVERY HALF HOUR."

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GUESS I'M GOING TO HAVE TO DRINK A LITTLE MORE SLOWLY.

"GUESS I'M GOING TO HAVE TO DRINK A LITTLE MORE SLOWLY."

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SLOWING DOWN ISN'T SO BAD.

"SLOWING DOWN ISN'T SO BAD."

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SAM, I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU

"SAM, I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU"

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YOU'VE GOT ONE OF THE CUTEST COCKTAIL WAITRESSES I'VE EVER SEEN.

"YOU'VE GOT ONE OF THE CUTEST COCKTAIL WAITRESSES I'VE EVER SEEN."

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OH, STOP. I'M BLUSHING.

"OH, STOP. I'M BLUSHING."

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I MEANT YOU .

"I MEANT YOU ."

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SO WHAT.

"SO WHAT."

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I'M SORRY.

"I'M SORRY."

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YOU SURE ARE.

"YOU SURE ARE."

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ROMANCE IS IN THE AIR, SAM.

"ROMANCE IS IN THE AIR, SAM."

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OH I GUESS...I'M A LITTLE BUSY HERE, BUT I SUPPOSE...

"OH I GUESS...I'M A LITTLE BUSY HERE, BUT I SUPPOSE..."

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OH, SAM!

"OH, SAM!"

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IF YOU COULD SEE PAST YOUR CODPIECE...

"IF YOU COULD SEE PAST YOUR CODPIECE..."

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YOU'D NOTICE THAT I WAS REFERRING

"YOU'D NOTICE THAT I WAS REFERRING"

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TO THAT GENTLEMAN RIGHT OVER THERE.

"TO THAT GENTLEMAN RIGHT OVER THERE."

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HANK?

"HANK?"

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YES. HE'S BEEN WATCHING CARLA ALL WEEK.

"YES. HE'S BEEN WATCHING CARLA ALL WEEK."

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HAVEN'T YOU SEEN HOW HE GIVES HER THOSE MOONY-EYED LOOKS?

"HAVEN'T YOU SEEN HOW HE GIVES HER THOSE MOONY-EYED LOOKS?"

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IT'S ALMOST EMBARRASSING. IF HE WERE ANYMORE OVERCOME

"IT'S ALMOST EMBARRASSING. IF HE WERE ANYMORE OVERCOME"

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WITH DESIRE, THERE WOULD BE DROOL ON HIS CHIN.

"WITH DESIRE, THERE WOULD BE DROOL ON HIS CHIN."

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EXCUSE ME. WHAT WERE YOU SAYING?

"EXCUSE ME. WHAT WERE YOU SAYING?"

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WELL, FOR WHATEVER REASON,

"WELL, FOR WHATEVER REASON,"

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HE'S ATTRACTED TO CARLA,

"HE'S ATTRACTED TO CARLA,"

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BUT HE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE ABLE TO GET STARTED.

"BUT HE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE ABLE TO GET STARTED."

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I THINK I SHOULD HELP HIM.

"I THINK I SHOULD HELP HIM."

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I THINK YOU SHOULDN'T.

"I THINK YOU SHOULDN'T."

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WE'LL COMPROMISE. I'LL HELP HIM.

"WE'LL COMPROMISE. I'LL HELP HIM."

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I KNEW WE COULD WORK THIS OUT.

"I KNEW WE COULD WORK THIS OUT."

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EXCUSE ME.

"EXCUSE ME."

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I'M DIANE CHAMBERS.

"I'M DIANE CHAMBERS."

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HELLO. HENRY ZENZOLA.

"HELLO. HENRY ZENZOLA."

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HENRY, NICE TO MEET YOU. DO YOU MIND IF I SIT DOWN FOR A SECOND?

"HENRY, NICE TO MEET YOU. DO YOU MIND IF I SIT DOWN FOR A SECOND?"

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NO. PLEASE.

"NO. PLEASE."

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HENRY, I WANT TO PUT IT RIGHT ON THE LINE.

"HENRY, I WANT TO PUT IT RIGHT ON THE LINE."

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HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT CARLA?

"HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT CARLA?"

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YOU MEAN THE WAITRESS WITH THE FOUL MOUTH,

"YOU MEAN THE WAITRESS WITH THE FOUL MOUTH,"

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NASTY DISPOSITION AND WHAT LOOKS TO BE A REAL MEAN WALLOP?

"NASTY DISPOSITION AND WHAT LOOKS TO BE A REAL MEAN WALLOP?"

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THAT'S THE ONE.

"THAT'S THE ONE."

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SHE'S THE HOTTEST THING WALKING.

"SHE'S THE HOTTEST THING WALKING."

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DO YOU LIKE TO GET TO KNOW HER? I THINK I CAN ARRANGE IT.

"DO YOU LIKE TO GET TO KNOW HER? I THINK I CAN ARRANGE IT."

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YOU THINK SO?

"YOU THINK SO?"

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I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET TO HER ALL WEEK.

"I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET TO HER ALL WEEK."

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SHE ACTS LIKE I'M CONTAGIOUS.

"SHE ACTS LIKE I'M CONTAGIOUS."

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HAS SHE ACTUALLY MADE ANY RETCHING NOISES?

"HAS SHE ACTUALLY MADE ANY RETCHING NOISES?"

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NO.

"NO."

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YOU'RE IN.

"YOU'RE IN."

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I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

"I'LL BE RIGHT BACK."

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WHAT A NICE PERSON.

"WHAT A NICE PERSON."

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IS SHE ALWAYS LIKE THAT?

"IS SHE ALWAYS LIKE THAT?"

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UH, YEAH. YEAH.

"UH, YEAH. YEAH."

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COACH, GIVE ME A BEER.

"COACH, GIVE ME A BEER."

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HEY, NORM YOUR GETTING A LITTLE BIT AHEAD OF YOUR ONE BEER/ HALF HOUR SCHEDULE,

"HEY, NORM YOUR GETTING A LITTLE BIT AHEAD OF YOUR ONE BEER/ HALF HOUR SCHEDULE,"

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AREN'T YOU?

"AREN'T YOU?"

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NO, NO, CLIFF. I'M ON LONDON TIME.

"NO, NO, CLIFF. I'M ON LONDON TIME."

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GOD SAVE THE QUEEN.

"GOD SAVE THE QUEEN."

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HIS NAME IS HENRY. HE'S INTERESTED IN YOU .

"HIS NAME IS HENRY. HE'S INTERESTED IN YOU ."

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SO WHAT?

"SO WHAT?"

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I THINK YOU SHOULD GO OVER AND TALK TO HIM.

"I THINK YOU SHOULD GO OVER AND TALK TO HIM."

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WELL, I DON'T.

"WELL, I DON'T."

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WHY?

"WHY?"

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BECAUSE IF HE'S INTERESTED IN ME, THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH HIM.

"BECAUSE IF HE'S INTERESTED IN ME, THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH HIM."

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CARLA, I ASSURE YOU HE'S PERFECTLY CHARMING.

"CARLA, I ASSURE YOU HE'S PERFECTLY CHARMING."

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I THINK HE'S KIND OF ATTRACTIVE, TOO, DON'T YOU?

"I THINK HE'S KIND OF ATTRACTIVE, TOO, DON'T YOU?"

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YEAH, AS CUE BALLS GO, HE'S A LOOKER.

"YEAH, AS CUE BALLS GO, HE'S A LOOKER."

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DON'T ASK ME WHY,

"DON'T ASK ME WHY,"

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BUT FOR SOME REASON, ANY GUY WHO I'M INTERESTED IN OR WHO'S INTERESTED IN ME

"BUT FOR SOME REASON, ANY GUY WHO I'M INTERESTED IN OR WHO'S INTERESTED IN ME"

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ALWAYS TURNS OUT TO HAVE SOMETHING VERY SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH HIM.

"ALWAYS TURNS OUT TO HAVE SOMETHING VERY SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH HIM."

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CARLA, I CAN SEE WHY YOU THINK THAT,

"CARLA, I CAN SEE WHY YOU THINK THAT,"

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BUT YOU HAVE TO STOP FEELING THAT YOUR UNDESIRABLE.

"BUT YOU HAVE TO STOP FEELING THAT YOUR UNDESIRABLE."

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ARE YOU KIDDING?

"ARE YOU KIDDING?"

Cheers

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