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Clips from Cheers - Tan 'N' Wash (S05E05)

Cheers is filmed before A live studio audience.

"Cheers is filmed before A live studio audience."

Cheers

Boy, did I have a crazy dream Last night.

"Boy, did I have a crazy dream Last night."

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What was it? I was at this party With a bunch of strangers.

"What was it? I was at this party With a bunch of strangers."

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Food was great, Music was loud.

"Food was great, Music was loud."

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All of a sudden, everybody In the place stopped and Was looking at me.

"All of a sudden, everybody In the place stopped and Was looking at me."

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And i realized I wasn't wearing Any pants.

"And i realized I wasn't wearing Any pants."

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I've had that dream A million times.

"I've had that dream A million times."

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Yeah, me, too. And boy, Is it ever embarrassing, huh?

"Yeah, me, too. And boy, Is it ever embarrassing, huh?"

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Why's that?

"Why's that?"

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Uh...Uh...Norm?

"Uh...Uh...Norm?"

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Never Embarrassed me.

"Never Embarrassed me."

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Tell you the one I hate--you're back In college, right?

"Tell you the one I hate--you're back In college, right?"

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You haven't been To class the Entire semester.

"You haven't been To class the Entire semester."

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The teacher's About to give The final exam.

"The teacher's About to give The final exam."

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Oh, yeah, that one's The worst.

"Oh, yeah, that one's The worst."

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What are you talking about, Carla, you never Went to college.

"What are you talking about, Carla, you never Went to college."

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It's a dream, stupid.

"It's a dream, stupid."

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How about the one Where you go

"How about the one Where you go"

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To this Fancy restaurant

"To this Fancy restaurant"

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And before the let you in, They make you leave Your legs at the door?

"And before the let you in, They make you leave Your legs at the door?"

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The girl gives you Claim check number six.

"The girl gives you Claim check number six."

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So you go in. But instead of food,

"So you go in. But instead of food,"

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Everyone's eating Their silverware.

"Everyone's eating Their silverware."

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Only you can't really Enjoy your fork Because you're worried

"Only you can't really Enjoy your fork Because you're worried"

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That whoever got Claim check number nine

"That whoever got Claim check number nine"

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Might finish first And pick up your legs By mistake.

"Might finish first And pick up your legs By mistake."

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Oh, yeah. Yeah.

"Oh, yeah. Yeah."

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* Makin' your way In the world today *

"* Makin' your way In the world today *"

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* Takes everything You've got *

"* Takes everything You've got *"

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* Takin' a break From all your worries *

"* Takin' a break From all your worries *"

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* Sure would Help a lot *

"* Sure would Help a lot *"

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* Wouldn't you like To get away *

"* Wouldn't you like To get away *"

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* Sometimes You wanna go *

"* Sometimes You wanna go *"

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* Where everybody Knows your name *

"* Where everybody Knows your name *"

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* And they're always Glad you came *

"* And they're always Glad you came *"

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* You wanna be Where you can see *

"* You wanna be Where you can see *"

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* Our troubles Are all the same *

"* Our troubles Are all the same *"

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* You wanna be *

"* You wanna be *"

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* Where everybody Knows your name *

"* Where everybody Knows your name *"

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* You wanna go Where people know *

"* You wanna go Where people know *"

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* People are All the same *

"* People are All the same *"

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* You wanna go *

"* You wanna go *"

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* Where everybody Knows your name *

"* Where everybody Knows your name *"

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Two vodka martinis, One wallbanger.

"Two vodka martinis, One wallbanger."

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Wallbanger.

"Wallbanger."

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Sam, i need to ask A big favor.

"Sam, i need to ask A big favor."

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All right, as long as It doesn't interfere With your job.

"All right, as long as It doesn't interfere With your job."

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Ok, then, I need to ask A huge favor.

"Ok, then, I need to ask A huge favor."

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Would it be possible Two weeks from This coming wednesday

"Would it be possible Two weeks from This coming wednesday"

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For me to leave work early, About 10 minutes?

"For me to leave work early, About 10 minutes?"

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Sure, why not?

"Sure, why not?"

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Oh, thank you, sam.

"Oh, thank you, sam."

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Thank you very much.

"Thank you very much."

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Thank you for Not prying further Into the matter.

"Thank you for Not prying further Into the matter."

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Especially since, well, I've no valid excuse

"Especially since, well, I've no valid excuse"

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For my early departure.

"For my early departure."

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Sam, i must be frank.

"Sam, i must be frank."

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Sounds good. I'll be bob.

"Sounds good. I'll be bob."

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I mean It's not as if i have A dental appointment

"I mean It's not as if i have A dental appointment"

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Or i have to meet someone At the airport.

"Or i have to meet someone At the airport."

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Ok, diane, Why do you have to Leave early

"Ok, diane, Why do you have to Leave early"

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2 Weeks from This wednesday?

"2 Weeks from This wednesday?"

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Well, If you must know...

"Well, If you must know..."

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I have a date.

"I have a date."

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Oh, yeah, I've heard Of those.

"Oh, yeah, I've heard Of those."

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Have fun.

"Have fun."

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Ahh. Sweet, Transparent bravado.

"Ahh. Sweet, Transparent bravado."

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Could there be A soul dearer

"Could there be A soul dearer"

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Than the little Boy lost,

"Than the little Boy lost,"

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Trembling on The edge of despair,

"Trembling on The edge of despair,"

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Yet struggling Manfully

"Yet struggling Manfully"

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To maintain His stiff upper lip?

"To maintain His stiff upper lip?"

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Thank you for noticing.

"Thank you for noticing."

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Wait, sam. Wait, One more thing.

"Wait, sam. Wait, One more thing."

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What?

"What?"

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After our 5-star dinner And season premier Of the ballet date,

"After our 5-star dinner And season premier Of the ballet date,"

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Chad--dr. Stark--

"Chad--dr. Stark--"

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May desire a kiss.

"May desire a kiss."

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Would you mind, Should he ask,

"Would you mind, Should he ask,"

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If i let his lips Touch mine?

"If i let his lips Touch mine?"

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Touch your what?

"Touch your what?"

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Mr. Peterson, i forgot,

"Mr. Peterson, i forgot,"

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Some guy dropped by earlier And asked me to Give this to you.

"Some guy dropped by earlier And asked me to Give this to you."

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Thank you, woody.

"Thank you, woody."

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And thank you, god.

"And thank you, god."

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What's that, normie?

"What's that, normie?"

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A research grant From the national Beer foundation?

"A research grant From the national Beer foundation?"

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This would be A measly little pair Of sky view seats

"This would be A measly little pair Of sky view seats"

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For the sox-yankee Double-header.

"For the sox-yankee Double-header."

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You're kidding me?

"You're kidding me?"

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I pulled every string i had And i could only score Standing room.

"I pulled every string i had And i could only score Standing room."

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Come on, How'd you get that?

"Come on, How'd you get that?"

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Sam, it's not Who you know, It's who i know.

"Sam, it's not Who you know, It's who i know."

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A client friend of mine, Jerry donahue, sent Those babies over

"A client friend of mine, Jerry donahue, sent Those babies over"

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To thank me for being For being

"To thank me for being For being"

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Such a fantastic Financial counselor.

"Such a fantastic Financial counselor."

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No, seriously, How'd you get them?

"No, seriously, How'd you get them?"

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I saved the guy a bundle On his taxes last year.

"I saved the guy a bundle On his taxes last year."

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He asked me To invest his windfall.

"He asked me To invest his windfall."

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In the face of 6 Short months, i kind Of doubled his money.

"In the face of 6 Short months, i kind Of doubled his money."

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I got lucky in a little Convenience mart Up in worcester.

"I got lucky in a little Convenience mart Up in worcester."

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What did you do, Hold it up?

"What did you do, Hold it up?"

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You guys are hilarious,

"You guys are hilarious,"

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But jerry's laughing All the way to the bank, All right?

"But jerry's laughing All the way to the bank, All right?"

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I diversified the guy.

"I diversified the guy."

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We went into mutuals

"We went into mutuals"

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And a very pretty little Biotech company that Just went public.

"And a very pretty little Biotech company that Just went public."

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Boy, it sounds like You got the midas Touch there.

"Boy, it sounds like You got the midas Touch there."

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You should hear Some of the Other

"You should hear Some of the Other"

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Great ideas We have cooked up.

"Great ideas We have cooked up."

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Yeah? Like what?

"Yeah? Like what?"

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No, sorry, guys. My lips are Sealed.

"No, sorry, guys. My lips are Sealed."

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Buy you a beer.

"Buy you a beer."

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It's called Tan 'n' wash,

"It's called Tan 'n' wash,"

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Now, tan 'n' wash, Guys,

"Now, tan 'n' wash, Guys,"

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The ultimate Marriage of luxury And convenience.

"The ultimate Marriage of luxury And convenience."

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Combination Tanning salon

"Combination Tanning salon"

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And coin-operated Laundry.

"And coin-operated Laundry."

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Get real.

"Get real."

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Come on, The timing's right On this.

"Come on, The timing's right On this."

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