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Clips from Cheers - The Tortelli Tort (S01E01)

"Shot of bourbon. Beer chaser."
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"Bloody Mary without Tabasco, and with extra Tabasco."
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"Coffee. Cream. Sugar. Sweet'N Low."
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"CC water back. Pretzels."
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"Norman."
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"- Beer, Norm? - I've heard of that stuff."
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"- Hey, Norm. - Hey, girl. How's the kids?"
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"- Get me Gus. - Yes, sir. Right away. Gus who?"
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"Gus, the owner of this bar."
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"I know who you mean. That was two owners ago."
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"If they're attached to anything, even a truck, I'm gonna marry it."
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"Excuse me, miss."
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"As soon as Sam comes out here, it's dinner for two at his place."
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"Listen, she may not be flashy enough for Sammy."
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"I know I've only worked here a short time,"
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"Sam, would you come here a second?"
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"Carla, never disturb me... unless there's a customer."
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"I think you're gonna like this. It's an amusing little wine."
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"You like to laugh?"
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"- I love to laugh. How did you know? - Call it a hunch."
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"Is there chance that you and I could go someplace and laugh together?"
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"- What kind of movie shall we see? - Something short."
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"Could you be a little more specific?"
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"No. No Australian films. I hate subtitles."
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"Sure."
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"I'll be right back. What's your name?"
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""I love to laugh.""
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"- No. Not right now. - Sam, we're thirsty."
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"but I'm the boss and I didn't hire you as a critic,"
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"Why don't you be honest with me? You think Brandee's dumb."
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"I guess she'll do until dumb comes along."
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"I don't think that."
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"Get her out. The customers are warping the wood with their drool."
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"I don't want to do better."
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"I like fun women, hot dogs, game shows."
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"I don't care what anybody says."
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"Did you read they found rat parts in hot dogs?"
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"I like rat parts. It's my favourite part of the hot dog."
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"Fine."
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"Yeah, Leo. He can't drop by tonight. He's dead."
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"I can't believe it. Gus is gone?"
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"Nobody can replace Gus. Gus had all the answers."
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"All but one."
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"- What am I gonna do without Gus? - Leo, will you stop it?"
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"Sit, Leo."
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"My son comes home from college with his new fiancé, who's black."
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"Here's what you do, when you get home,"
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"What's Ron's fiancé's name?"
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"You say, "Rick, Ron...""
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"Boy, that's good."
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"Again? He's been out with a different dolly every night."
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"That's our Sammy."
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"Let me tell you something."
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"You can't go to hockey games"
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"Carla, the fun's in the fun."
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"Yes. Unlimited sex."
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"The adult male's version of owning a candy store."
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"- You all know Debra. - Hi, Coach. Hi, guys."
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"Diane, this is Debra. Debra, this is Diane."
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"What was that comment you made in the intermission?"
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"could come out of one man's head.""
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"- "One man's head." - I heard."
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"I read in the programme that Mozart died when he was 35."
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"Just as well. Our heads are spinning."
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"- Thank you. - I love Mozart, too."
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"- This programme's two years old. - Is it?"
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"That's the best I've seen."
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"- May I speak with you for a moment? - No."
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"I came in to cheer you up a little."
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"No, I brought Debra here for a drink. This is a bar."
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"What a life I lead."
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"Would you stop making jokes and talk to me?"
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"Why are you so upset?"
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"All of a sudden, all I can think about is how stupid they are."
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"Well, I would rather be that than a snob."
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"I'd hate to see the bowling alleys close on my account."
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"I'm saying that it would be very difficult for you."
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"You think so?"
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"On behalf of the intelligent women around the world, may I just say..."
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"- Just the average. - Any kind."
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"OK, I'm sorry, too."
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"- Well, I'll be darned. - What?"
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"Something wrong with them?"
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"No. I just don't think I've ever seen eyes that colour before."
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"Where?"
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"I was coming in late one day,"
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"The sky became this incredible colour."
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"hoping that it wouldn't change,"
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"What?"
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"An intelligent woman would see right through that."
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"In a minute."
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"OK."
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"I'm terribly sorry."
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"I don't suppose I could impose upon you people to save me a few steps?"
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"Free pretzels for everybody."
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"- Afternoon, everybody. - Norm!"
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"- Another day, another dollar. - 50 cents after taxes."
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"Two of them are ugly, one's obnoxious and one's just stupid."
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"Don't be a wise guy. Just get him."
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"Alright, yes, sir. Norm, do you know a Gus?"
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"I'll never forget that guy. He had such a great name. Gus."
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"I came from Seattle to talk to him. Gus is the man."
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"You got troubles, you take 'em to Gus, he straightens you up."
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"I've gotta be back in Seattle Thursday night."
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"Listen, I managed in the minors, I coached in the majors,"
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"I've been a bartender for five years."
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"I've had my share of people with problems."
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"Why not give me a try?"
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"My son comes home from college with his new fiancé, who's black."
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"And your son's not?"
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"Yo, Coach."
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"Get Gus."
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"- Holy... ! - What's the matter, Norm?"
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"Somebody pinch me. I've got to be hallucinating."
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"Please come down here. Please. She's coming down here!"
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"This I gotta see."
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"I don't believe this. I feel like I've been transported in time"
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"back to a fraternity house in the '50s."
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"Come on, guys. In this day and age, aren't we beyond ogling women?"
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"- May I help you? - White wine, please."
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