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Clips from Cheers - Sam at Eleven (S01E01)

"- What a great day. Cliff. - Sammy."
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"How you doing?"
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"Something funny?"
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"Read some of the others."
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"30 gross of two hunters saying, "Did I hear a buck snort?""
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"- Seen these awful napkins? - Yeah. They stink."
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"See what I mean? The place is a-buzz."
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"The Yanks may have it sewn up, as they lead 5-0. The pitch."
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"- Here's your drinks. Go, Red Sox! - Miss, which drink is which here?"
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"Snitch face!"
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"we'd have given you a pink belly that glowed in the dark."
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"- Norman. - How you doing, Norm?"
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"Yeah? What for?"
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"- Now we'll get something going! - C'mon now."
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"As of right now, Carla Tortelli is no longer a Red Sox fan."
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"Now stop that, OK?"
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"Have I said that before?"
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"Fred here is the youngest of 12 brothers and sisters"
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"So did we, the first six or seven times."
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"- Talk about a party. - Yeah."
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"Yeah, another one, Sam, but hold the napkin."
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"Sorry about that, fans. Another tough one in the loss column."
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"Tonight on the news, you can watch the lowlights."
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"You made good time getting here. I still hear the TV tubes cooling."
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"- Can I help you? - Yeah, gimme a draught."
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"Yeah? Since 1918, the Yankees have won 23 world championships."
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"Want to talk about major poets from New England as opposed to New York?"
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"Want to talk about Nobel Prize winners in medicine?"
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"No."
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"- Alright. - So long, Freddie!"
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"We'll be thinking of him during the next electrical storm."
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"- Bye. - Night, Freddie."
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"- You homesick for the Bronx? - Yeah."
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"But bear in mind, you are in an alien camp."
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"What did you get, a vocabulary for Christmas?"
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"You gather my inference."
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"C'mon, everybody, take it easy. We're trying to run a friendly bar."
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"Great shot, kid."
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"- What's your name? - Sam Malone."
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"That's what happened. And I thought you just lost it."
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"Sammy, you get a minute, you wanna put a head on this here?"
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"Mistake? That was an assault in front of witnesses."
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"I'm willing to listen."
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"he said by statute and precedence this would be a tort."
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"When?"
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"I did make a couple of nice moves. Like when I..."
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"Fire me?"
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"C'mon. That's crazy."
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"Sam, you're not actually thinking about it, are you?"
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"- This is Carla we're talking about. - I know it's Carla!"
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"Well, I have a close friend who is a clinical psychologist."
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"- That could work. - What could work?"
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"In fact, get ready to laugh,"
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"I'm trying to help you."
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"I think you're a person with a lot of anger inside."
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"Now you're telling me I have to learn nice?"
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"Thanks, Sam."
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"We were gonna lose Carla forever."
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"It's all turned around. I feel wonderful."
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"When was he last here, Sam?"
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"Three weeks."
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"Ed?"
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"You mean that swineherd Ed that's suing you?"
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"Yeah, that's the one."
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"I see what you're doing."
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"to bring Ed in and fool him into thinking you've fired Carla."
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"It's a crass ploy."
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"He's a big pansy making a big fuss over some intense pain."
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"- Now and then. - I must've got hit by 100 fastballs."
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"Hit By Pitches."
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"I could get to first base on any pitch."
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"What I'd do was, I'd get up there and lean my body into the pitch."
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"But I really made a science out of it."
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"I became a master."
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"- Has he done this before? - Lots."
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"Thanks for reminding me."
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"Because we both listen to people's problems all day?"
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"Ed, why don't you sit down way over there?"
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"Well, yes, he did."
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"Look..."
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"Yes."
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"- Yeah? - Yes."
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"You're a crummy waitress."
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"You're short."
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"- You're a terrible dresser! - That's low."
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"Ted Williams was overrated!"
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"- Bobby Orr was a wimp! - Eddie, I'd stay away from hockey."
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"I hit a soft spot, huh?"
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"C'mon, Ed, how much more do you need?"
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"Working here is punishment enough."
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"Why, you a Bruins fan?"
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"Let me walk you to your car."
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"Alright!"
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"- Carla. Where's that beer? - Shut up! We're celebrating!"
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"- This isn't funny. - That's not the funniest."
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"- What others? - Here."
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"I bought 30 gross. Take your pick."
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"Sorry. I was sure you'd love 'em. These are real conversation starters."
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"Carla's getting her drinks mixed up"
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"because she's watching that silly game."
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"If you'd tried that at St Clete's School for Girls,"
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"- Afternoon, everybody. - Norm."
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"Cut the small talk and give me a beer."
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"The boss kept me after. I got chewed out a bit."
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"Alright. Our prayers are answered. Normie, babe."
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"- Yastrzemski's up with a man on. - The fountain of youth. C'mon."
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"- You and me, Yaz. My hero. My man. - Popped it up! Sox lose again."
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"You old fossil!"
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"That's it. That does it."
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"May I have your attention? I have an announcement to make."
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"Give everybody a drink on me, Sam."
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"Yeah, I was getting pretty low on funds."
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"- of a very wealthy family. - I never cared for any of 'em."
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"Every time one of them dies, Fred here inherits their money."
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"What do we have here? A Red Sox bar?"
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"We're closed."
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"I just came from a classic massacre of Boston by the Yankees."
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"You know, I can't see why you people are such bad losers."
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"- Who do you like, the Yankees? - Another swift Bostonian."
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"Yeah, I'm a Yankee fan."
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