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Clips from Cheers - Give Me a Ring Sometime (S01E01)

An ID?

"An ID?"

Cheers

- Must've fought in Vietnam. - Yeah.

"- Must've fought in Vietnam. - Yeah."

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- Yes. - Yes, he's here.

"- Yes. - Yes, he's here."

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Well...

"Well..."

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Well, I think what happened is he...

"Well, I think what happened is he..."

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I'd like a bottle of your best champagne.

"I'd like a bottle of your best champagne."

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It wasn't that great a lie.

"It wasn't that great a lie."

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No. John Donne, the poet.

"No. John Donne, the poet."

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For you, Sumner, old man, I'll keep both my eyes on her.

"For you, Sumner, old man, I'll keep both my eyes on her."

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Sumner, am I stupid to let you go see a woman you were once in love with?

"Sumner, am I stupid to let you go see a woman you were once in love with?"

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In any case, you sit at the bar and chat with Sam while I'm gone.

"In any case, you sit at the bar and chat with Sam while I'm gone."

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He's quite a fella, your fiancé.

"He's quite a fella, your fiancé."

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I'm not in the habit of talking with bartenders.

"I'm not in the habit of talking with bartenders."

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- What's wrong, Coach? - The Patriots did it again.

"- What's wrong, Coach? - The Patriots did it again."

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She'll be here for a while.

"She'll be here for a while."

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but could you not discuss my private life with everyone?

"but could you not discuss my private life with everyone?"

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- She's a hooker. - Yeah?

"- She's a hooker. - Yeah?"

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- Thank you. - Don't mention it.

"- Thank you. - Don't mention it."

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OK, I'm late! My kid was throwing up all over the place.

"OK, I'm late! My kid was throwing up all over the place."

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You don't buy that excuse, I quit.

"You don't buy that excuse, I quit."

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If you don't like it, fine. This ain't such a great job.

"If you don't like it, fine. This ain't such a great job."

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Think I was too hard on her?

"Think I was too hard on her?"

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That's true. They do have a lot.

"That's true. They do have a lot."

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who isn't afraid to take her luggage out for a drink.

"who isn't afraid to take her luggage out for a drink."

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She doesn't want to be disturbed.

"She doesn't want to be disturbed."

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You, miss!

"You, miss!"

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Wouldn't you love to see Sammy flinging the horsehide?

"Wouldn't you love to see Sammy flinging the horsehide?"

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I coached this kid in double-A ball, and with the Red Sox.

"I coached this kid in double-A ball, and with the Red Sox."

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- Take it easy, Coach. - No, I mean it, he was the best.

"- Take it easy, Coach. - No, I mean it, he was the best."

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I didn't until I saw those pictures from the space shuttle.

"I didn't until I saw those pictures from the space shuttle."

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Carla, heel.

"Carla, heel."

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If you were so good, why aren't you still playing?

"If you were so good, why aren't you still playing?"

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I was not a great drunk. I was a good drunk.

"I was not a great drunk. I was a good drunk."

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I haven't had a drink in three years.

"I haven't had a drink in three years."

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I held on to it for sentimental reasons.

"I held on to it for sentimental reasons."

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Next to my bedroom.

"Next to my bedroom."

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- I'll fill you in. She's a hooker. - She's not a hooker.

"- I'll fill you in. She's a hooker. - She's not a hooker."

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Well, not in the traditional sense.

"Well, not in the traditional sense."

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They missed you.

"They missed you."

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- He's not back yet? - No.

"- He's not back yet? - No."

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If it's my missus, I'm on my way.

"If it's my missus, I'm on my way."

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The night before my wedding and I'm in the middle of a sweat contest.

"The night before my wedding and I'm in the middle of a sweat contest."

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Women have fewer sweat glands than men, but they're larger, more active.

"Women have fewer sweat glands than men, but they're larger, more active."

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What happened to you? It's been over an hour.

"What happened to you? It's been over an hour."

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- Did she give you the ring? - I couldn't take it.

"- Did she give you the ring? - I couldn't take it."

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But when I was with Barbara, something stirred inside me.

"But when I was with Barbara, something stirred inside me."

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It's OK, the pilot knows the way.

"It's OK, the pilot knows the way."

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I love your wit.

"I love your wit."

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- Who isn't here? - Me.

"- Who isn't here? - Me."

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Cheers. Just a minute.

"Cheers. Just a minute."

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She insists that you have the ring.

"She insists that you have the ring."

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We won't have time to catch our flight.

"We won't have time to catch our flight."

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- Coach will take you home. - I'll give you a lift.

"- Coach will take you home. - I'll give you a lift."

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Norm, you're in here every night.

"Norm, you're in here every night."

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That's OK, Ron. Goodnight.

"That's OK, Ron. Goodnight."

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I wonder why people tell bartenders their problems.

"I wonder why people tell bartenders their problems."

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These poor wretches with no one in the world to turn to

"These poor wretches with no one in the world to turn to"

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I was so flattered when he went out of his way

"I was so flattered when he went out of his way"

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I'm still kind of in awe of him, you know.

"I'm still kind of in awe of him, you know."

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No. Because he's everything you're not.

"No. Because he's everything you're not."

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- You were coming to it? - I should have expected this.

"- You were coming to it? - I should have expected this."

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That goof will be on the cover of Saturday Review someday.

"That goof will be on the cover of Saturday Review someday."

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rubbing suntan oil on his ex-wife.

"rubbing suntan oil on his ex-wife."

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No, thank you.

"No, thank you."

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- I'm sorry. - How did you know?

"- I'm sorry. - How did you know?"

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I'm probably gonna regret this, but you could work here.

"I'm probably gonna regret this, but you could work here."

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Simple. You can't go back to the professor for work.

"Simple. You can't go back to the professor for work."

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Now, look, buster.

"Now, look, buster."

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Your first customers.

"Your first customers."

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- Wish me luck. - Luck.

"- Wish me luck. - Luck."

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My name is Diane. I will be serving you. Why don't you sit down here?

"My name is Diane. I will be serving you. Why don't you sit down here?"

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I would have thought them insane.

"I would have thought them insane."

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And where better than here to study life in all its many facets?

"And where better than here to study life in all its many facets?"

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People meet in bars, they part, they rejoice, they suffer.

"People meet in bars, they part, they rejoice, they suffer."

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What can I get you?

"What can I get you?"

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How about a beer, chief?

"How about a beer, chief?"

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How about an ID?

"How about an ID?"

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That's very flattering!

"That's very flattering!"

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Wait till I tell the missus.

"Wait till I tell the missus."

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Military ID.

"Military ID."

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First Sergeant Walter Keller, born 1944.

"First Sergeant Walter Keller, born 1944."

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- What was it like? - It was gross.

"- What was it like? - It was gross."

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I'm sorry, soldier.

"I'm sorry, soldier."

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Sumner, this is crazy.

"Sumner, this is crazy."

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I think not.

"I think not."

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I give it six months.

"I give it six months."

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- Come on. Let's sit here. - We have a plane to catch.

"- Come on. Let's sit here. - We have a plane to catch."

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I insist you have my grandmother's antique gold wedding ring.

"I insist you have my grandmother's antique gold wedding ring."

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Didn't you say it's still on your ex-wife's finger? I don't need it.

"Didn't you say it's still on your ex-wife's finger? I don't need it."

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- You're enough for me. - True. But symbols are important.

"- You're enough for me. - True. But symbols are important."

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Let me call Barbara and see if she's home. The phone's back here.

"Let me call Barbara and see if she's home. The phone's back here."

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As long as we're here, let's celebrate with some champagne.

"As long as we're here, let's celebrate with some champagne."

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Hello? Sam?

"Hello? Sam?"

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Are you Sam?

"Are you Sam?"

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Someone named Vicki.

"Someone named Vicki."

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No.

"No."

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No, she knows you're here. I told her you're here.

"No, she knows you're here. I told her you're here."

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Now, look...

"Now, look..."

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I'm sorry, I was wrong. He had to step out.

"I'm sorry, I was wrong. He had to step out."

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Where?

"Where?"

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...he had... to go to mime class.

"...he had... to go to mime class."

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Yes, I'll take a message.

"Yes, I'll take a message."

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You're welcome.

"You're welcome."

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- Well? - You're a magnificent pagan beast.

"- Well? - You're a magnificent pagan beast."

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Thanks. What's the message?

"Thanks. What's the message?"

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Listen, I didn't like doing that.

"Listen, I didn't like doing that."

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I'm sorry. If I didn't own this place, I'd fire me on the spot.

"I'm sorry. If I didn't own this place, I'd fire me on the spot."

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For lying for me, I'll buy you your first drink.

"For lying for me, I'll buy you your first drink."

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- No, we'll pay for it. - We're on our way to get married.

"- No, we'll pay for it. - We're on our way to get married."

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Then this is on me. Congratulations.

"Then this is on me. Congratulations."

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Barbara was home. She said I can come over.

"Barbara was home. She said I can come over."

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Well, do you want me to go with you?

"Well, do you want me to go with you?"

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No, it could get a trifle sticky.

"No, it could get a trifle sticky."

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Sumner, I'm not beautiful.

"Sumner, I'm not beautiful."

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So where's the ceremony gonna be?

"So where's the ceremony gonna be?"

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- Tomorrow, in Barbados. - Nice.

"- Tomorrow, in Barbados. - Nice."

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He has an article in Harper's.

"He has an article in Harper's."

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Today, I was sitting in my office with Diane.

"Today, I was sitting in my office with Diane."

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I said to myself, "I would be crazy to let this girl get out of my life."

"I said to myself, "I would be crazy to let this girl get out of my life.""

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So, right there on the spot, I said, "Let's get married."

"So, right there on the spot, I said, "Let's get married.""

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