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Clips from Cheers - Now Pitching, Sam Malone (S01E01)

You know, Sam, this is my favourite time of day.

"You know, Sam, this is my favourite time of day."

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What's that, Coach? Closing time?

"What's that, Coach? Closing time?"

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No. 1:37. I don't know. There's just something about it.

"No. 1:37. I don't know. There's just something about it."

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I know what you mean.

"I know what you mean."

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I suppose we've all got our favourite 1:37 story.

"I suppose we've all got our favourite 1:37 story."

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What's your favourite time of day, Sam?

"What's your favourite time of day, Sam?"

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Gee, I don't know. 8:15's nice.

"Gee, I don't know. 8:15's nice."

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Yeah. I used to like 8:5. I think I kinda grew out of it.

"Yeah. I used to like 8:5. I think I kinda grew out of it."

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Wait a minute. Coach, Sammy.

"Wait a minute. Coach, Sammy."

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I don't want to be left alone locked up in this bar all ni...

"I don't want to be left alone locked up in this bar all ni..."

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Quarter to three

"Quarter to three"

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No one in the place except you and me

"No one in the place except you and me"

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Once in a while, a man needs a little time to himself.

"Once in a while, a man needs a little time to himself."

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- Evening, everybody. - Hi, Norman.

"- Evening, everybody. - Hi, Norman."

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Beer?

"Beer?"

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Nah, I'd probably just drink it.

"Nah, I'd probably just drink it."

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What's new, Norm?

"What's new, Norm?"

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I just came from a late lunch at the Copley Plaza.

"I just came from a late lunch at the Copley Plaza."

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You had lunch at the Copley?

"You had lunch at the Copley?"

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Yeah. I took a prospective employer there. Courting the guy.

"Yeah. I took a prospective employer there. Courting the guy."

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- What did you have? - The rack of lamb for two.

"- What did you have? - The rack of lamb for two."

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Don't remember what he had.

"Don't remember what he had."

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I saw Teddy Kennedy over there.

"I saw Teddy Kennedy over there."

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Whoa. Norman, really?

"Whoa. Norman, really?"

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I still say that Kennedy will be president some day.

"I still say that Kennedy will be president some day."

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No, wait.

"No, wait."

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Maybe even next time. You know how politicians are.

"Maybe even next time. You know how politicians are."

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- Doesn't make sense. - I really don't think so, Diane.

"- Doesn't make sense. - I really don't think so, Diane."

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I've got a pet little theory about that.

"I've got a pet little theory about that."

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You see, if you go back in history and take every president,

"You see, if you go back in history and take every president,"

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you'll find that the numerical value of each letter in their last name

"you'll find that the numerical value of each letter in their last name"

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was equally divisible into the year in which they were elected.

"was equally divisible into the year in which they were elected."

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So who's gonna win, Cliff? Reagan again?

"So who's gonna win, Cliff? Reagan again?"

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Mondale?

"Mondale?"

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No. Not a chance. See, I figured it out.

"No. Not a chance. See, I figured it out."

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By my calculations, our next president has to be named

"By my calculations, our next president has to be named"

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Yelnik Mcwawa.

"Yelnik Mcwawa."

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That's the stupidest name I ever heard.

"That's the stupidest name I ever heard."

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Sam, please. You're talking about our next president.

"Sam, please. You're talking about our next president."

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So, Norm. What was Kennedy doing at the Copley?

"So, Norm. What was Kennedy doing at the Copley?"

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Having lunch. I got his autograph.

"Having lunch. I got his autograph."

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You disturbed him during his lunch?

"You disturbed him during his lunch?"

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No. God!

"No. God!"

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I waited till he went to the men's room.

"I waited till he went to the men's room."

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Mart... Martie Broder? I got the wrong stall. I dunno.

"Mart... Martie Broder? I got the wrong stall. I dunno."

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Ho, Cliff. Isn't that Tibor Svetkovic?

"Ho, Cliff. Isn't that Tibor Svetkovic?"

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- Svetkovic, where? - That's Svetkovic all right.

"- Svetkovic, where? - That's Svetkovic all right."

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Based on the fact that he has a long name that you can all pronounce,

"Based on the fact that he has a long name that you can all pronounce,"

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I guess that he's an athlete.

"I guess that he's an athlete."

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Or will he be president in 1990?

"Or will he be president in 1990?"

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Diane, the man was Czechoslovakia's greatest hockey player.

"Diane, the man was Czechoslovakia's greatest hockey player."

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He defected to us just to play in the NHL.

"He defected to us just to play in the NHL."

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It's an incredible story actually.

"It's an incredible story actually."

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He dressed up as a woman, hid in a haystack,

"He dressed up as a woman, hid in a haystack,"

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crawled on his belly under barbed wire,

"crawled on his belly under barbed wire,"

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swam a couple of rivers and stowed away on a tramp steamer to get here.

"swam a couple of rivers and stowed away on a tramp steamer to get here."

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Amazing.

"Amazing."

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The next week, the rest of his team came over on the Concorde.

"The next week, the rest of his team came over on the Concorde."

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That's what he gets for not reading his schedule.

"That's what he gets for not reading his schedule."

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Nobody said he was a smart hockey player.

"Nobody said he was a smart hockey player."

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Is this my day, or what? First Teddy Kennedy now Tibor Svetkovic.

"Is this my day, or what? First Teddy Kennedy now Tibor Svetkovic."

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You better memorise his shoes, you might want his autograph later.

"You better memorise his shoes, you might want his autograph later."

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Tibor, I see you play all the time. I'm Sam Malone.

"Tibor, I see you play all the time. I'm Sam Malone."

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Your problem may be too much caffeine.

"Your problem may be too much caffeine."

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Sorry, what?

"Sorry, what?"

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He's learning English from TV commercials.

"He's learning English from TV commercials."

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And who are you?

"And who are you?"

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I'm Lana Marshall. I'm Tibor's commercial agent.

"I'm Lana Marshall. I'm Tibor's commercial agent."

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Is that right? I'm Sam Malone, the boss here.

"Is that right? I'm Sam Malone, the boss here."

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You're the boss?

"You're the boss?"

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You're gonna tell me what to do?

"You're gonna tell me what to do?"

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Something tell me you know what to do.

"Something tell me you know what to do."

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I know what I like to do.

"I know what I like to do."

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That's nice.

"That's nice."

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I like the lady who knows what she likes to do and does what she likes.

"I like the lady who knows what she likes to do and does what she likes."

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The mating ritual of the horny-breasted lounge lizard.

"The mating ritual of the horny-breasted lounge lizard."

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Two beers.

"Two beers."

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Let me take care of you two here.

"Let me take care of you two here."

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- Tibor. Miller Time? - TV! Yes, sir.

"- Tibor. Miller Time? - TV! Yes, sir."

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- What can I do for you? - What's your speciality?

"- What can I do for you? - What's your speciality?"

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I do everything the same round here.

"I do everything the same round here."

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- Great. - Then why don't you surprise me?

"- Great. - Then why don't you surprise me?"

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- It would be my pleasure. - Mine too, I hope.

"- It would be my pleasure. - Mine too, I hope."

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- I'll be right back. - I'll be right here.

"- I'll be right back. - I'll be right here."

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She'll be here, he'll be back and I'll be sick.

"She'll be here, he'll be back and I'll be sick."

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So, you get jobs for professional athletes to be in commercials?

"So, you get jobs for professional athletes to be in commercials?"

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Yes. As a matter of fact, I specialise in male athletes.

"Yes. As a matter of fact, I specialise in male athletes."

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Don't you know who you were just talking to? That's Sam Malone.

"Don't you know who you were just talking to? That's Sam Malone."

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Cute guy. Too bad he has dandruff.

"Cute guy. Too bad he has dandruff."

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- He used to play with the Red Sox. - Really?

"- He used to play with the Red Sox. - Really?"

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Who does he play with now?

"Who does he play with now?"

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You know, you give broads a good name.

"You know, you give broads a good name."

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Excuse me, could I ask you a question about your boss?

"Excuse me, could I ask you a question about your boss?"

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The king of the single entendre?

"The king of the single entendre?"

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Tell me, does he have a wife, or worse, someone he cares about?

"Tell me, does he have a wife, or worse, someone he cares about?"

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He's available and very desirable,

"He's available and very desirable,"

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if lummox is your cup of tea.

"if lummox is your cup of tea."

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And it appears to be.

"And it appears to be."

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Tibor, I think it's time to get to the Garden.

"Tibor, I think it's time to get to the Garden."

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I'm late.

"I'm late."

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After game, your room?

"After game, your room?"

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No, Tibor, I think I'm going to be busy tonight.

"No, Tibor, I think I'm going to be busy tonight."

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OK, goodbye.

"OK, goodbye."

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And this concludes another day of programming.

"And this concludes another day of programming."

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Sooner or later, you'll own General.

"Sooner or later, you'll own General."

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Poor guy should really think about wearing a helmet.

"Poor guy should really think about wearing a helmet."

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I understand that you were an athlete.

"I understand that you were an athlete."

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I'm sorry, I don't remember you.

"I'm sorry, I don't remember you."

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That's all right. I was a relief pitcher before they became famous.

"That's all right. I was a relief pitcher before they became famous."

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- I missed it by a year. - Have you done any acting?

"- I missed it by a year. - Have you done any acting?"

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Well, you know, yeah, I have. I had the lead in a school play.

"Well, you know, yeah, I have. I had the lead in a school play."

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The one about the evil woman who pushes her husband

"The one about the evil woman who pushes her husband"

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into getting rid of people for more and more power.

"into getting rid of people for more and more power."

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You mean Macbeth?

"You mean Macbeth?"

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No. How Boots Fooled the King.

"No. How Boots Fooled the King."

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- Was that what Macbeth was about? - Tibor's looking better, isn't he?

"- Was that what Macbeth was about? - Tibor's looking better, isn't he?"

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Excuse me. I'll be right back.

"Excuse me. I'll be right back."

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- Hey, Diane, we're talking here. - She's talking.

"- Hey, Diane, we're talking here. - She's talking."

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You're killing time between thoughts.

"You're killing time between thoughts."

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You got a problem?

"You got a problem?"

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