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Clips from Cheers - Endless Slumper (S01E01)

"Excuse me. l'm here in response to the ad in the newspaper"
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"about Mrs Tortelli's children."
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"What, is she trying to sell them again?"
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"- What? - Never mind, never mind. Carla?"
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"Yeah? What is it?"
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"- There's a lady here to see you. - Oh, yeah?"
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"l'm Miss Gilder. We spoke earlier about your ad for a tutor."
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"Oh, yeah. Have a seat over there and we'll talk."
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"l'm takin' five."
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"OK."
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"Here are my resume and references, Mrs Tortelli."
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"You will see l teach all subjects."
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"l have a great deal of experience, and,"
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"if l may say so myself, l'm very highly recommended"
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"by those for whom l've worked."
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"Forget that. Have you ever been in any major military skirmishes?"
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"What?"
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"lt's important l know you can handle yourself."
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"Just stand up for a minute."
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"- Give me one. - Give you one what?"
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"Your best shot, right here. Coldcock me, honey."
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"- Don't hold back. - Waste her."
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"- Lay one on her. - Let's go."
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"You don't really expect me to strike you ?"
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"Six bucks an hour."
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"Great shot!"
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"Sit right down here and we'll work out the details."
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"Afternoon, everybody."
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"- Norm! - Norman..."
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"What's the story, Norm?"
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"A thirsty guy walks into a bar. You finish it."
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"Norman, you are looking especially spry today."
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"Thank you. ln fact, l joined a health club today."
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"Good for you. Nice facilities?"
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"Excellent snack bar."
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"Norm, it's gonna add years to your life."
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"Coach, l felt l had to do something."
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"Sammy, this guy over here doesn't believe me about your bar slide."
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"Would you serve one up to save my good name?"
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"- My pleasure. - Thank you, Sammy."
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"- Let's get this garbage out of here. - Clear the runway."
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"- OK, Sammy. Any time you're ready. - There you go."
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"Hit the bricks, pal."
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"OK. How do you do it?"
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"lt's just one of my two hidden talents."
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"The other is just as impressive."
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"But you can hardly charge a buck for it."
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"Cheers."
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"Yeah. Just a sec."
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"- lt's for you, Sam. - Give me a second."
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"l'll put you on hold."
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"- Thank you, Coach. - All the classy joints do that."
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"Hello? Sam Malone."
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"Hey. Of course l know who you are, Rick Walker."
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"Well, it's not too crowded."
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"lf you're across the street, come on over."
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"Yeah."
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"Hey. You're in luck here. A genuine Red Sock's on his way over."
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"No kiddin'?"
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"What are you doing?"
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"Sam, l don't want a Boston Red Sock to come in here"
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"and get a glass with lipstick on it or crud at the bottom."
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"Sit up straight, will ya?"
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"So who is it, huh? Evans?"
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"Rice? Yaz?"
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"You heard of Rick Walker?"
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"He can use that one."
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"Carla..."
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"For five years, when he pitched for Detroit,"
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"we couldn't win a game against them."
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"Then he signed for the Sox for big bucks"
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"and now he's leading the league in early showers."
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"Carla, he's supposed to be a nice guy"
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"and l'm glad not everybody feels like you do."
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"- Hi, Sam. - Hey, Rick!"
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"l'm sorry about that."
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"That's OK. For me, this is cordial."
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"- How you doing? - Good."
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"Nice to see you. Let's sit and have a little privacy."
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"Sam, l know it's crazy for a stranger to come here for advice"
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"but the pitching coach said you're the only man who can help me."
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"Well, l'm flattered."
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"He said if anyone knows about slumps, it's you."
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"- The legend lives on, huh? - Sam, can l buy you a beer?"
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"No, thanks. l don't drink anymore."
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"Yeah. l heard rumours you used to hit the bottle sometimes."
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"Well, they're true."
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"Did you drink during a game?"
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"Never on the mound. Sets a bad example for the catchers."
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"- Did drinking help? - No. Quite the contrary."
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"How about an early shower?"
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"- Carla, come on. - The guy's a rag arm."
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"l'm sorry."
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"Sam, didn't that guy used to be a pitching coach for the Red Sox ?"
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"That's Ernie Pantusso. He works here now."
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"Good idea. Let's ask him some stuff."
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"Coach, l want you to meet Rick Walker."
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"Hey, Rick. How are ya? Nice to meet you."
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"- l'll get you a beer. - Great."
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"Sorry things are not going good for you."
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"Coach, l just don't know what l'm doing wrong."
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"Sam? Who is that man?"
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"That's Rick Walker, relief pitcher for the Red Sox."
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"Poor guy's in a slump. Going through hell."
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"Try to get out of those things, the worse it gets."
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"Well, you know what he needs. Meditation."
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"- lt gives you total serenity. - Well, maybe l could suggest it."
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"Well, it worked for me. l used to have this facial tic."
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"Started meditating, right away."
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"Really?"
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"- Absolutely. - What kind of tic ?"
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"Well, it was hardly noticeable."
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"- Come on. Let me see. - No. l got rid of it."
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"lt's a thing of the past."
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"So, anyway, suggest meditation. lt just might do wonders."
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"- l can see it did wonders for you. - l'm a living endorsement."
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"Gotcha."
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"Sam, what am l gonna do ?"
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"Well, have you ever thought about meditation ?"
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"- l tried everything, Sam. - Really ?"
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