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Clips from Lucifer - A Priest Walks Into a Bar (S01E01)

Short Films 1921 Season 1, Episode 9 1,082 clips
Short Comedy

Episodes from this show

Title Season Episode
Pilot 1 1
Lucifer, Stay. Good Devil. 1 2
The Would-Be Prince of Darkness 1 3
Manly Whatnots 1 4
Sweet Kicks 1 5
Favorite Son 1 6
Wingman 1 7
Et Tu, Doctor? 1 8
A Priest Walks Into a Bar 1 9
Pops 1 10
St. Lucifer 1 11
#TeamLucifer 1 12
Take Me Back to Hell 1 13
Homewrecker 2 9
Quid Pro Ho 2 10
Stewardess Interruptus 2 11
Love Handles 2 12
They're Back, Aren't They? 3 1
The One with the Baby Carrot 3 2
Mr. and Mrs. Mazikeen Smith 3 3
What Would Lucifer Do? 3 4
Welcome Back, Charlotte Richards 3 5
Vegas With Some Radish 3 6
Off the Record 3 7
Chloe Does Lucifer 3 8
The Sinnerman 3 9
The Sin Bin 3 10
City of Angels? 3 11
All About Her 3 12
Til Death Do Us Part 3 13
My Brother's Keeper 3 14
High School Poppycock 3 15
Infernal Guinea Pig 3 16
Let Pinhead Sing! 3 17
The Last Heartbreak 3 18
Title Season Episode
Orange Is the New Maze 3 19
The Angel of San Bernardino 3 20
Anything Pierce Can Do I Can Do Better 3 21
All Hands on Decker 3 22
Quintessential Deckerstar 3 23
A Devil of My Word 3 24
Boo Normal 3 25
Once Upon a Time 3 26
Everything's Okay 4 1
Somebody's Been Reading Dante's Inferno 4 2
O, Ye of Little Faith, Father 4 3
All About Eve 4 4
Expire Erect 4 5
Orgy Pants to Work 4 6
Devil Is as Devil Does 4 7
Super Bad Boyfriend 4 8
Save Lucifer 4 9
Who's da New King of Hell? 4 10
Really Sad Devil Guy 5 1
Lucifer! Lucifer! Lucifer! 5 2
¡Diablo! 5 3
It Never Ends Well for the Chicken 5 4
Detective Amenadiel 5 5
BlueBallz 5 6
Our Mojo 5 7
Spoiler Alert 5 8
Family Dinner 5 9
Bloody Celestial Karaoke Jam 5 10
Resting Devil Face 5 11
Daniel Espinoza: Naked and Afraid 5 12
A Little Harmless Stalking 5 13
Nothing Lasts Forever 5 14
Is This Really How It's Going To End?! 5 15
A Chance at a Happy Ending 5 16
Previously on Lucifer...
"Previously on Lucifer..."
Lucifer
Thank you for having my back and for everything.
"Thank you for having my back and for everything."
Lucifer
(gunshots)
"(gunshots)"
Lucifer
MALCOLM: I could have told everyone the truth.
"MALCOLM: I could have told everyone the truth."
Lucifer
You shot me.
"You shot me."
Lucifer
Why didn't you?
"Why didn't you?"
Lucifer
'Cause I got big plans for you.
"'Cause I got big plans for you."
Lucifer
You betrayed me, Maze.
"You betrayed me, Maze."
Lucifer
- Lucifer, I... - I don't want to hear it.
"- Lucifer, I... - I don't want to hear it."
Lucifer
We're done.
"We're done."
Lucifer
(gunshot)
"(gunshot)"
Lucifer
It seems I'm dealing with a bit
"It seems I'm dealing with a bit"
Lucifer
of a mortality sitch.
"of a mortality sitch."
Lucifer
I'm bleeding.
"I'm bleeding."
Lucifer
I'm just realizing the gravity of what you're saying.
"I'm just realizing the gravity of what you're saying."
Lucifer
That I'm allergic to lead projectiles?
"That I'm allergic to lead projectiles?"
Lucifer
All I have to do
"All I have to do"
Lucifer
is wait for some pitiful thug
"is wait for some pitiful thug"
Lucifer
to end you.
"to end you."
Lucifer
And right back to Hell you go.
"And right back to Hell you go."
Lucifer
People come to me to ask for favors, and more often than not,
"People come to me to ask for favors, and more often than not,"
Lucifer
- I'm happy to oblige. - What do you get?
"- I'm happy to oblige. - What do you get?"
Lucifer
A devilish I.O.U., if you will.
"A devilish I.O.U., if you will."
Lucifer
Who would take a deal like that?
"Who would take a deal like that?"
Lucifer
They all do.
"They all do."
Lucifer
("Eez-Eh" by Kasabian playing)
"("Eez-Eh" by Kasabian playing)"
Lucifer
(sighs)
"(sighs)"
Lucifer
(elevator bell dings)
"(elevator bell dings)"
Lucifer
(indistinct chatter, clamoring)
"(indistinct chatter, clamoring)"
Lucifer
♪ I make you mad... ♪
"♪ I make you mad... ♪"
Lucifer
Yeah, fantastic!
"Yeah, fantastic!"
Lucifer
You're here.
"You're here."
Lucifer
♪ I'm just trying to put the world to rights ♪
"♪ I'm just trying to put the world to rights ♪"
Lucifer
♪ And if you want to ♪
"♪ And if you want to ♪"
Lucifer
MAN: Yeah. ♪ I'll take you out... ♪
"MAN: Yeah. ♪ I'll take you out... ♪"
Lucifer
Ah, starving! Can't think why!
"Ah, starving! Can't think why!"
Lucifer
(laughs) Okay.
"(laughs) Okay."
Lucifer
Thank you.
"Thank you."
Lucifer
Uh, this should, uh,
"Uh, this should, uh,"
Lucifer
well, this should just about cover it.
"well, this should just about cover it."
Lucifer
(laughs) Have a nice evening.
"(laughs) Have a nice evening."
Lucifer
Oh, curious.
"Oh, curious."
Lucifer
In your line of work, how many times has it happened to you?
"In your line of work, how many times has it happened to you?"
Lucifer
You know, like in those wonderful Internet videos?
"You know, like in those wonderful Internet videos?"
Lucifer
Your deliveries ending in sex.
"Your deliveries ending in sex."
Lucifer
Uh...
"Uh..."
Lucifer
never.
"never."
Lucifer
Well, that changes tonight.
"Well, that changes tonight."
Lucifer
Come!
"Come!"
Lucifer
Come on! Come, come!
"Come on! Come, come!"
Lucifer
Come.
"Come."
Lucifer
I'm still on the clock.
"I'm still on the clock."
Lucifer
Oh, you'll always be on the clock.
"Oh, you'll always be on the clock."
Lucifer
But how often will you be here?
"But how often will you be here?"
Lucifer
Hey? Oh, Brittanies!
"Hey? Oh, Brittanies!"
Lucifer
Brittanies,
"Brittanies,"
Lucifer
- Yeah! - Pizza delivery guy.
"- Yeah! - Pizza delivery guy."
Lucifer
Pizza delivery guy, Brittanies.
"Pizza delivery guy, Brittanies."
Lucifer
BRITTANIES: Hi!
"BRITTANIES: Hi!"
Lucifer
Well, go on.
"Well, go on."
Lucifer
What are you waiting for?
"What are you waiting for?"
Lucifer
- Have fun. - Come on!
"- Have fun. - Come on!"
Lucifer
Lucifer!
"Lucifer!"
Lucifer
Come join us.
"Come join us."
Lucifer
Be right there, darlings.
"Be right there, darlings."
Lucifer
BRITTANY: All right.
"BRITTANY: All right."
Lucifer
♪ I'm just trying to set the world alight ♪
"♪ I'm just trying to set the world alight ♪"
Lucifer
♪ You got problems, well, so have I. ♪
"♪ You got problems, well, so have I. ♪"
Lucifer
LUCIFER: But I didn't
"LUCIFER: But I didn't"
Lucifer
join them.
"join them."
Lucifer
Three Brittanies in the Jacuzzi.
"Three Brittanies in the Jacuzzi."
Lucifer
Three.
"Three."
Lucifer
Why didn't I join them?
"Why didn't I join them?"
Lucifer
Why do you think you didn't join them?
"Why do you think you didn't join them?"
Lucifer
I don't know, Doctor. That's what I pay you
"I don't know, Doctor. That's what I pay you"
Lucifer
to figure out, isn't it?
"to figure out, isn't it?"
Lucifer
Have you ever considered that all of this excessive partying
"Have you ever considered that all of this excessive partying"
Lucifer
may be your attempt to fill a void?
"may be your attempt to fill a void?"
Lucifer
"Attempt"?
""Attempt"?"
Lucifer
I filled five voids last night.
"I filled five voids last night."
Lucifer
That's not what I mean.
"That's not what I mean."
Lucifer
A void
"A void"
Lucifer
in your emotional life.
"in your emotional life."
Lucifer
You sound...
"You sound..."
Lucifer
...lonely.
"...lonely."
Lucifer
"Lonely"?
""Lonely"?"
Lucifer
Have... have you been listening to a word I've said?
"Have... have you been listening to a word I've said?"
Lucifer
I am never alone.
"I am never alone."
Lucifer
I'm constantly surrounded by people.
"I'm constantly surrounded by people."
Lucifer
You know? I party whenever I desire.
"You know? I party whenever I desire."
Lucifer
My bed never cold.
"My bed never cold."
Lucifer
Lucifer, being alone
"Lucifer, being alone"
Lucifer
and being lonely are two entirely
"and being lonely are two entirely"
Lucifer
different things.
"different things."
Lucifer
- Are they? - Yes!
"- Are they? - Yes!"
Lucifer
You may be surrounded by others,
"You may be surrounded by others,"
Lucifer
but do you truly consider any of those people
"but do you truly consider any of those people"
Lucifer
your friend?
"your friend?"
Lucifer
My friend?
"My friend?"
Lucifer
A peer you respect.
"A peer you respect."
Lucifer
Someone you like to spend time with.
"Someone you like to spend time with."
Lucifer
Someone with whom you share a meaningful connection.
"Someone with whom you share a meaningful connection."
Lucifer
Well, you and I connect quite well.
"Well, you and I connect quite well."
Lucifer
I'm talking personal.
"I'm talking personal."
Lucifer
What about Maze?
"What about Maze?"
Lucifer
No.
"No."
Lucifer
She and I are on the outs, I'm afraid.
"She and I are on the outs, I'm afraid."
Lucifer
Long story filled with betrayal.
"Long story filled with betrayal."
Lucifer
You actually make a cameo in it.
"You actually make a cameo in it."
Lucifer
How about Detective Decker?
"How about Detective Decker?"
Lucifer
Do you consider her your friend?
"Do you consider her your friend?"
Lucifer
(sighs)
"(sighs)"
Lucifer
Well, quite honestly, I...
"Well, quite honestly, I..."
Lucifer
I'm not sure what we are.
"I'm not sure what we are."
Lucifer
("Kitty Hawk (Break Science Remix)" by Ki:Theory playing)
"("Kitty Hawk (Break Science Remix)" by Ki:Theory playing)"
Lucifer
Lucifer?
"Lucifer?"
Lucifer
Listen, can we tal...?
"Listen, can we tal...?"
Lucifer
I don't have time for traitors.
"I don't have time for traitors."
Lucifer
I get you don't want to talk to me.
"I get you don't want to talk to me."
Lucifer
But someone else is here to see you for a favor.
"But someone else is here to see you for a favor."
Lucifer