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Clips from Lucifer - O, Ye of Little Faith, Father (S04E04)

"[drink being poured]"
Lucifer
"Forgive me, Father..."
Lucifer
"for not offering you a drink."
Lucifer
"I have an aversion to the cloth.  Daddy issues."
Lucifer
"Long story."
Lucifer
"I understand, and I do apologize for the intrusion, Mr. Morningstar."
Lucifer
"Please allow me to explain myself."
Lucifer
"Excellent course of action."
Lucifer
"You see, I'm not a normal priest."
Lucifer
"[laughing] Was there ever such a thing?"
Lucifer
"I mean I'm not a normal priest in the sense"
Lucifer
"that I don't have my own congregation."
Lucifer
"I am a..."
Lucifer
"I'm an investigator."
Lucifer
"For the Vatican."
Lucifer
"Vatican investigator?"
Lucifer
"Sounds like a soon-to-be-canceled TV show."
Lucifer
"I assure you, it's a very real job."
Lucifer
"I've spent the last 40 years traveling the globe in pursuit of the demonic."
Lucifer
"I know the divine is real."
Lucifer
"And I also know that evil walks the earth."
Lucifer
"And that you, Mr. Morningstar--"
Lucifer
"Oh, brother, here we go."
Lucifer
"Are not it."
Lucifer
"Not quite what I was expecting."
Lucifer
"So if I'm not the devil, then why are you here?"
Lucifer
"And what does any of this have to do with the Detective?"
Lucifer
"Because Miss Decker believes that you are."
Lucifer
"I see."
Lucifer
"About a month ago, she came to Rome with a most outlandish tale."
Lucifer
"The devil himself is hiding in plain sight,"
Lucifer
"masquerading as a nightclub owner in Los Angeles,"
Lucifer
"and that he'd revealed himself to her."
Lucifer
"Well..."
Lucifer
"this is wonderful news."
Lucifer
"Wonderful? How so?"
Lucifer
"Well, as my therapist would say-- I know, so LA..."
Lucifer
"But she'd say that talking about your issues"
Lucifer
"was the first step in dealing with them,"
Lucifer
"so if the Detective did have issues with me..."
Lucifer
"sounds like they've been dealt with."
Lucifer
"Now, if that's everything, Father, you can be on your merry way."
Lucifer
"I just felt that it was my duty  to warn you."
Lucifer
"Because the reason that she came to Rome was to, well..."
Lucifer
"send the devil back to hell."
Lucifer
"[laughs]"
Lucifer
"The Detective would never do that."
Lucifer
"Chloe is a good person with a good heart."
Lucifer
"Finally, something we can agree on."
Lucifer
"But whatever she went through, whatever drove her to Rome..."
Lucifer
"it shook her to her very core."
Lucifer
"She's the reason that I'm here."
Lucifer
"You need to be careful, Mr. Morningstar."
Lucifer
"God knows what she has planned for you."
Lucifer
"[humming quietly]"
Lucifer
"[Ella] What are you so cheery about, Decker?"
Lucifer
"What?"
Lucifer
"-I'm not cheery. -Wait, why aren't you cheery?"
Lucifer
"I've been nursing a bad one all day."
Lucifer
"Ha! What? Too much Romulan ale?"
Lucifer
"Too much tequila."
Lucifer
"I went a little nutso on all the margeritas yesterday."
Lucifer
"Yesterday, Sunday... Did you swap out the sacramental wine?"
Lucifer
"I skipped church yesterday."
Lucifer
"And the week before, you said."
Lucifer
"Listen, Ella, I sort of wanted to check in with you,"
Lucifer
"-to see-- -You know, it's just..."
Lucifer
"me and the big guy are on a bit of a break."
Lucifer
"I completely... understand. I mean, more than you'll ever know."
Lucifer
"In fact..."
Lucifer
"recently..."
Lucifer
"I got clarity on a very similar issue."
Lucifer
"And..."
Lucifer
"I think it's why I've been feeling so positive lately."
Lucifer
"-[bang] -[man's voice] Enough!"
Lucifer
"Stop calling me!"
Lucifer
"Jeez."
Lucifer
"Hang on."
Lucifer
"Is everything okay?"
Lucifer
"[phone buzzes]"
Lucifer
"-Everything's fine. -[phone buzzes]"
Lucifer
"Well, are you going to answer that?"
Lucifer
"Absolutely not."
Lucifer
"Dan, it could be important."
Lucifer
"Be my guest."
Lucifer
"Okay."
Lucifer
"Dan's phone."
Lucifer
"[gurgling roar on phone]"
Lucifer
"What the hell is that?"
Lucifer
"I'll show you what that was."
Lucifer
"Yeah."
Lucifer
"That's my phone number."
Lucifer
"Lucifer's been posting these all over the precinct."
Lucifer
"It's not funny, Chloe."
Lucifer
"I swear he only exists to..."
Lucifer
"torture me."
Lucifer
"Look, I know you and Lucifer have had your issues lately,"
Lucifer
"but maybe this is his way of--"
Lucifer
"Know what? I'm sick and tired of everybody making excuses for him."
Lucifer
"I wish you could just see a little bit of what I see, Chloe."
Lucifer
"He's..."
Lucifer
"he's a bad guy."
Lucifer
"He's..."
Lucifer
"he's trying to be better."
Lucifer
"He... in his own way."
Lucifer
"[Dan] Whatever."
Lucifer
"[ambient pop playing in the background]"
Lucifer
"Brother."
Lucifer
"You look like I feel."
Lucifer
"No, I'm pretty sure that my issues are much bigger than yours. Trust me."
Lucifer
"I think we all know nothing is bigger than mine."
Lucifer
"-The strangest thing just happened-- -Linda's pregnant."
Lucifer
"We'll call it a tie. [chuckles]"
Lucifer
"Are you sure it's yours?"
Lucifer
"Lucy, Linda's not like that."
Lucifer
"You of all people should know."
Lucifer
"Relax, brother, I just meant..."
Lucifer
"a celestial impregnating a human--"
Lucifer
"How is it even possible?"
Lucifer
"And, if it is, how has this not already happened to you?"
Lucifer
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