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Clips from Lucifer - High School Poppycock (S03E03)

Well, Maze invited me.

"Well, Maze invited me."

Lucifer

I thought she wanted to talk after I stopped by yesterday.

"I thought she wanted to talk after I stopped by yesterday."

Lucifer

Maze is setting me up on a blind date.

"Maze is setting me up on a blind date."

Lucifer

What if you are my blind date?

"What if you are my blind date?"

Lucifer

Well, that doesn't make any sense.

"Well, that doesn't make any sense."

Lucifer

Unless she knows about us and is trying to make us squirm.

"Unless she knows about us and is trying to make us squirm."

Lucifer

And torture is her thing.

"And torture is her thing."

Lucifer

Linda,

"Linda,"

Lucifer

this is Todd.

"this is Todd."

Lucifer

Your date.

"Your date."

Lucifer

Hello.

"Hello."

Lucifer

This is a blue lobelia.

"This is a blue lobelia."

Lucifer

Native Americans use them to treat constipation.

"Native Americans use them to treat constipation."

Lucifer

Thank you.

"Thank you."

Lucifer

But what are you two doing here?

"But what are you two doing here?"

Lucifer

Double date.

"Double date."

Lucifer

Isn't this great?

"Isn't this great?"

Lucifer

Hmm.

"Hmm."

Lucifer

Yeah, uh, no...

"Yeah, uh, no..."

Lucifer

Hi.

"Hi."

Lucifer

Great.

"Great."

Lucifer

Excuse us. Isabel.

"Excuse us. Isabel."

Lucifer

Todd?

"Todd?"

Lucifer

Odd-bod Todd?

"Odd-bod Todd?"

Lucifer

Are...

"Are..."

Lucifer

I'm sorry. You...

"I'm sorry. You..."

Lucifer

just look so different.

"just look so different."

Lucifer

I'll take that as a compliment.

"I'll take that as a compliment."

Lucifer

Wow, I...

"Wow, I..."

Lucifer

Do you have a British accent?

"Do you have a British accent?"

Lucifer

Well, I've had many accents over the years,

"Well, I've had many accents over the years,"

Lucifer

but this one is clearly the best.

"but this one is clearly the best."

Lucifer

You're so funny and... so hot.

"You're so funny and... so hot."

Lucifer

- I know. - Mmm.

"- I know. - Mmm."

Lucifer

Uh, but I need to ask you a few questions.

"Uh, but I need to ask you a few questions."

Lucifer

Sure. Let's catch up.

"Sure. Let's catch up."

Lucifer

Can you believe Kathleen's coming out with another book?

"Can you believe Kathleen's coming out with another book?"

Lucifer

Oh, I believe it.

"Oh, I believe it."

Lucifer

That bitch loved profiting off of us.

"That bitch loved profiting off of us."

Lucifer

Ugh, she sucks.

"Ugh, she sucks."

Lucifer

But honestly, we're all, uh, just trying to move on.

"But honestly, we're all, uh, just trying to move on."

Lucifer

Man, those books ruined our lives.

"Man, those books ruined our lives."

Lucifer

I had to move to Maine.

"I had to move to Maine."

Lucifer

Do you know what was in her last book?

"Do you know what was in her last book?"

Lucifer

What sparked her final idea?

"What sparked her final idea?"

Lucifer

The books are about you, correct?

"The books are about you, correct?"

Lucifer

- Oh, for... - So, do you know

"- Oh, for... - So, do you know"

Lucifer

what happens in the new book?

"what happens in the new book?"

Lucifer

Are there any big secrets

"Are there any big secrets"

Lucifer

that come out or...

"that come out or..."

Lucifer

Does Isabel actually get pregnant?

"Does Isabel actually get pregnant?"

Lucifer

Uh, who are you again?

"Uh, who are you again?"

Lucifer

What were you doing two nights ago?

"What were you doing two nights ago?"

Lucifer

I was... at home?

"I was... at home?"

Lucifer

Doing a facial.

"Doing a facial."

Lucifer

I was with Tristan.

"I was with Tristan."

Lucifer

I think.

"I think."

Lucifer

I mean, by the time I flew in, it was really late.

"I mean, by the time I flew in, it was really late."

Lucifer

You're hiding something.

"You're hiding something."

Lucifer

And I think I know what.

"And I think I know what."

Lucifer

It's because you were with Bo,

"It's because you were with Bo,"

Lucifer

and you didn't want Isabel to find out.

"and you didn't want Isabel to find out."

Lucifer

But, like, who cares what Isabel thinks?

"But, like, who cares what Isabel thinks?"

Lucifer

Especially after what she did to you in chemistry class?

"Especially after what she did to you in chemistry class?"

Lucifer

I mean, do you realize you're still lucky to have your hand?

"I mean, do you realize you're still lucky to have your hand?"

Lucifer

It doesn't matter where I was two nights ago.

"It doesn't matter where I was two nights ago."

Lucifer

What matters is that tonight, we're together.

"What matters is that tonight, we're together."

Lucifer

So where were you two nights ago?

"So where were you two nights ago?"

Lucifer

Let's go talk somewhere a little quieter.

"Let's go talk somewhere a little quieter."

Lucifer

Right.

"Right."

Lucifer

Yeah, talk. Uh-huh.

"Yeah, talk. Uh-huh."

Lucifer

You two have so much in common.

"You two have so much in common."

Lucifer

Yeah.

"Yeah."

Lucifer

Linda, you're a therapist.

"Linda, you're a therapist."

Lucifer

And, Todd, you're in therapy.

"And, Todd, you're in therapy."

Lucifer

Discuss.

"Discuss."

Lucifer

Oh.

"Oh."

Lucifer

- You don't have to... - I wet the bed.

"- You don't have to... - I wet the bed."

Lucifer

It's more common than people think.

"It's more common than people think."

Lucifer

You're lovely.

"You're lovely."

Lucifer

I'm so glad she convinced me to skip my reunion for this.

"I'm so glad she convinced me to skip my reunion for this."

Lucifer

Most serial killers wet the bed.

"Most serial killers wet the bed."

Lucifer

I smell a love connection, don't you?

"I smell a love connection, don't you?"

Lucifer

Let's crank this date up a notch.

"Let's crank this date up a notch."

Lucifer

Waiter.

"Waiter."

Lucifer

Linda.

"Linda."

Lucifer

This is getting out of control.

"This is getting out of control."

Lucifer

We just have to get through tonight. We can do it.

"We just have to get through tonight. We can do it."

Lucifer

So, Todd.

"So, Todd."

Lucifer

Any hobbies?

"Any hobbies?"

Lucifer

I make my own toothpaste.

"I make my own toothpaste."

Lucifer

Where were you two nights ago?

"Where were you two nights ago?"

Lucifer

Uh...

"Uh..."

Lucifer

Come on, Tristan.

"Come on, Tristan."

Lucifer

I can't remember.

"I can't remember."

Lucifer

Well, try.

"Well, try."

Lucifer

I told you, man,

"I told you, man,"

Lucifer

I don't, I don't remember where I was.

"I don't, I don't remember where I was."

Lucifer

Oh!

"Oh!"

Lucifer

Tell me the truth now.

"Tell me the truth now."

Lucifer

Okay. A couple nights ago,

"Okay. A couple nights ago,"

Lucifer

we all broke into the school pool.

"we all broke into the school pool."

Lucifer

You know, just a little party before the party, you know?

"You know, just a little party before the party, you know?"

Lucifer

Well, why is that a secret?

"Well, why is that a secret?"

Lucifer

Because we didn't invite everyone.

"Because we didn't invite everyone."

Lucifer

Well, you, for instance.

"Well, you, for instance."

Lucifer

- What? - I'm sorry, man.

"- What? - I'm sorry, man."

Lucifer

If we knew how cool you had gotten,

"If we knew how cool you had gotten,"

Lucifer

we totally would've invited you.

"we totally would've invited you."

Lucifer

So what you're saying is you all have the same alibi?

"So what you're saying is you all have the same alibi?"

Lucifer

Wasting our time here.

"Wasting our time here."

Lucifer

Where's the detective?

"Where's the detective?"

Lucifer

I dig you, Chloe.

"I dig you, Chloe."

Lucifer

You... you're different.

"You... you're different."

Lucifer

Too bad you didn't go to high school with us.

"Too bad you didn't go to high school with us."

Lucifer

Yeah.

"Yeah."

Lucifer

That would have been great.

"That would have been great."

Lucifer

Yeah.

"Yeah."

Lucifer

So, you were gonna tell me

"So, you were gonna tell me"

Lucifer

where you were two nights ago?

"where you were two nights ago?"

Lucifer

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