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Clips from Lucifer - Pilot (S01E01)

"Delilah gave you, isn't it?"
Lucifer
"For Time Will Tell?"
Lucifer
"GREY: Right. That's the movie"
Lucifer
"that we did. It was a wrap gift."
Lucifer
"(chuckles) Yeah. She buy a $10,000 watch"
Lucifer
"for the whole crew? Uh, no."
Lucifer
"Just me, as far as I know."
Lucifer
"'Cause we were, you know,"
Lucifer
"costars and everything."
Lucifer
"You know, you're gonna have to get much better at lying"
Lucifer
"if you want to be president."
Lucifer
"I know, right?"
Lucifer
"So you were sleeping with her, then, yeah?"
Lucifer
"- Oh, yeah. (chuckles) - (laughing)"
Lucifer
"Crap. I just said that in front of people."
Lucifer
"Whatever. It's not like I didn't know."
Lucifer
"God, you are a terrible liar."
Lucifer
"And actor, by the way."
Lucifer
"You knew? Of course."
Lucifer
"Why else do you think I've been sleeping with Bobby?"
Lucifer
"Are you serious?"
Lucifer
"Oh, yeah. And it is good."
Lucifer
"Mmm. I climb that man like a tree."
Lucifer
"Right, Bobby?"
Lucifer
"GREY: My bodyguard?"
Lucifer
"What a cliché."
Lucifer
"Oh, I'm a cliché? Well, you're a dick."
Lucifer
"Oh, boy."
Lucifer
"- Hey, guys... - Come on!"
Lucifer
"Hey, guys. Arrest them."
Lucifer
"- Seriously? - (grunting)"
Lucifer
"One of them's got to be guilty."
Lucifer
"♪♪"
Lucifer
"♪ Hit me point-blank, hit me point-blank ♪"
Lucifer
"♪ Hit me point-blank... ♪"
Lucifer
"Thanks. (sighs)"
Lucifer
"So, Grey and Amanda have zero connection to the shooter."
Lucifer
"(sighs) But the shooter had the same watch as Grey."
Lucifer
"That can't be a coincidence."
Lucifer
"Maybe Delilah gave him one, too, like kind of a go-to gift. I..."
Lucifer
"Well, that would imply she was actually"
Lucifer
"sleeping with that maggot."
Lucifer
"Really?"
Lucifer
"Jimmy, 2Vile, Grey Cooper."
Lucifer
"That's three other maggots she's sleeping with."
Lucifer
"I don't think there's a lot of discretion going on with her."
Lucifer
"Yeah. I suppose you got a point."
Lucifer
"(chuckles softly)"
Lucifer
"God, what am I doing here?"
Lucifer
"Wrong deity, but, yes, that is the eternal question."
Lucifer
"(chuckles) No. I mean here, in a bar,"
Lucifer
"- with you. - Well, I don't know."
Lucifer
"You tell me, Detective."
Lucifer
"I mean, despite your proclaimed revulsion,"
Lucifer
"you can't deny that there's a connection between us."
Lucifer
"Tell me, what do you actually want?"
Lucifer
"You mean what do I desire more than anything else"
Lucifer
"- in this life? - Yes."
Lucifer
"- Mm-hmm. - No tricks. Not that they work on you, you freak."
Lucifer
"(chuckles)"
Lucifer
"Seriously. I'm curious."
Lucifer
"I don't know."
Lucifer
"What-what I told you's true."
Lucifer
"I-I really do want to help people."
Lucifer
"My father was a cop."
Lucifer
"He was a great cop."
Lucifer
"My mother was an actress."
Lucifer
"Really cheesy one. (chuckles)"
Lucifer
"I tried the acting thing. I took off my top."
Lucifer
"Wasn't really contributing to the betterment of society."
Lucifer
"I disagree. I love that movie."
Lucifer
"(chuckles)"
Lucifer
"So I quit."
Lucifer
"Decided to become a cop like my dad"
Lucifer
"and, uh, dealt with the whole Hot Tub High School thing,"
Lucifer
"until, um,"
Lucifer
"I became a detective and found a whole new way"
Lucifer
"- to ostracize myself. - Ah, the..."
Lucifer
"reason your ex-maggot was pressuring you"
Lucifer
"to close this?"
Lucifer
"Yeah. Yeah."
Lucifer
"Exactly. There was a case,"
Lucifer
"a shooting on Palmetto Street where a cop was shot,"
Lucifer
"and I saw it differently than pretty much everyone"
Lucifer
"in my department, including my ex."
Lucifer
"And I stuck my neck out,"
Lucifer
"and it backfired."
Lucifer
"And, uh, now..."
Lucifer
"(chuckles) no one wants to work with me."
Lucifer
"Well, I'm available."
Lucifer
"Too bad your little protégé"
Lucifer
"isn't around to collect the check."
Lucifer
"REPORTER: The soundtrack album"
Lucifer
"for the movie Time Will Tell"
Lucifer
"has reached number 15 on the Billboard charts"
Lucifer
"and is still climbing. Song and record sales..."
Lucifer
"Oh, wow."
Lucifer
"What?"
Lucifer
"Delilah didn't give that watch to the drug dealer."
Lucifer
"♪ - Got a heavy load, sometimes I wonder... ♪ - Stop, stop, stop!"
Lucifer
"(music stops) What is it? You got a gerbil in your throat? What's going on?"
Lucifer
"Hello, Jimmy."
Lucifer
"Really?"
Lucifer
"How's the album sales doing?"
Lucifer
"What album?"
Lucifer
"Soundtrack to Time Will Tell, which you produced."
Lucifer
"Whitney Houston hit the top ten for album sales after her death."
Lucifer
"Michael Jackson hit the stratosphere."
Lucifer
"Not sure you'll achieve such heights having Delilah killed,"
Lucifer
"but that sure is a boatload of royalty checks headed your way."
Lucifer
"Guess you really needed the cash, huh?"
Lucifer
"Which is why you had to pay the shooter with your watch."
Lucifer
"The watch Delilah gave you. Now, that's just sick."
Lucifer
"But then you are, so..."
Lucifer
"(gun clicks)"
Lucifer
"Hey, Jimmy?"
Lucifer
"I made her, and she ruined me."
Lucifer
"She humiliated me. She owes me."
Lucifer
"You're not God, Jimmy. You didn't make her."
Lucifer
"But you did destroy her."
Lucifer
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