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Clips from Hung - Comedy (S01E01)

Videos 2009 Season 1, Episode 7 3 min 347 clips
Short Comedy

Episodes from this show

- Keep them closed. - They're closed. God, Ray.
"- Keep them closed. - They're closed. God, Ray."
Hung
...where you hack me into bits and bury me in the woods.
"...where you hack me into bits and bury me in the woods."
Hung
- Your tent? - My tent.
"- Your tent? - My tent."
Hung
Come on.
"Come on."
Hung
I should've gotten "Sylvia Plath."
"I should've gotten "Sylvia Plath.""
Hung
This was it. No more bullshit.
"This was it. No more bullshit."
Hung
It was just me and her...
"It was just me and her..."
Hung
I've been pouring my blood, sweat and tears into this Happiness Consultant thing...
"I've been pouring my blood, sweat and tears into this Happiness Consultant thing..."
Hung
...then you book the clients. Let me know when you've got some lined up. All right?
"...then you book the clients. Let me know when you've got some lined up. All right?"
Hung
"Bombed." You were bombed?
""Bombed." You were bombed?"
Hung
Is that what I was? Another drunk local?
"Is that what I was? Another drunk local?"
Hung
What's your process like, you know, as a poet?
"What's your process like, you know, as a poet?"
Hung
I don't have a set process really. I...
"I don't have a set process really. I..."
Hung
How long's it been avoiding you for?
"How long's it been avoiding you for?"
Hung
I just... I hate that, when people say, "I'm a poet," and they don't even write.
"I just... I hate that, when people say, "I'm a poet," and they don't even write."
Hung
When I was a child, I was really prolific.
"When I was a child, I was really prolific."
Hung
My adolescence was so fertile.
"My adolescence was so fertile."
Hung
So, what stopped the bleeding?
"So, what stopped the bleeding?"
Hung
You don't understand. My mother's a bitter academic who always judges me.
"You don't understand. My mother's a bitter academic who always judges me."
Hung
Come on.
"Come on."
Hung
Anyone home?
"Anyone home?"
Hung
"Tanya Skagle, state forensics champion."
""Tanya Skagle, state forensics champion.""
Hung
Oh, yeah. Proud of it. First place, dramatic interpretation.
"Oh, yeah. Proud of it. First place, dramatic interpretation."
Hung
"Indelible Stench"?
""Indelible Stench"?"
Hung
...I used to dry-hump my neighbor Jacob on this carpet.
"...I used to dry-hump my neighbor Jacob on this carpet."
Hung
And then, like...
"And then, like..."
Hung
Okay.
"Okay."
Hung
I followed the trail. Dirt all the way up the stairs.
"I followed the trail. Dirt all the way up the stairs."
Hung
- Hi, Mom. - Tanya, again with the yearbooks?
"- Hi, Mom. - Tanya, again with the yearbooks?"
Hung
New clients.
"New clients."
Hung
Hi.
"Hi."
Hung
I thought you were a meat-and-potatoes guy.
"I thought you were a meat-and-potatoes guy."
Hung
How are you, Ray?
"How are you, Ray?"
Hung
Yeah.
"Yeah."
Hung
Great. Anytime.
"Great. Anytime."
Hung
Your mother is not the blockage, Tanya.
"Your mother is not the blockage, Tanya."
Hung
- She's the source. She is your muse. - No, she isn't, Pierce. No.
"- She's the source. She is your muse. - No, she isn't, Pierce. No."
Hung
But now you're annoyed with me all of a sudden?
"But now you're annoyed with me all of a sudden?"
Hung
What's stopping you from opening a car wash tomorrow?
"What's stopping you from opening a car wash tomorrow?"
Hung
Tanya. What a surprise.
"Tanya. What a surprise."
Hung
Why don't you ask him about his millions?
"Why don't you ask him about his millions?"
Hung
Jemma, hey.
"Jemma, hey."
Hung
Oh, no worries. Yeah.
"Oh, no worries. Yeah."
Hung
Well, I think we're a little beyond the "maybe" part, but...
"Well, I think we're a little beyond the "maybe" part, but..."
Hung
Maybe pack a picnic.
"Maybe pack a picnic."
Hung
Tanya, I can't get you on the phone, so I guess I'll leave it here.
"Tanya, I can't get you on the phone, so I guess I'll leave it here."
Hung
I liked your cookies.
"I liked your cookies."
Hung
Oh, no, no. I say this because I was wondering...
"Oh, no, no. I say this because I was wondering..."
Hung
Like, I could take care of what you need, and you could take care of me.
"Like, I could take care of what you need, and you could take care of me."
Hung
I scratch your back, you scratch mine. How is this confusing?
"I scratch your back, you scratch mine. How is this confusing?"
Hung
Look, in times of economic crisis, the arts are the first thing to go.
"Look, in times of economic crisis, the arts are the first thing to go."
Hung
Oh, this was a bad idea. I don't feel well. I feel feverish.
"Oh, this was a bad idea. I don't feel well. I feel feverish."
Hung
I am not a coward.
"I am not a coward."
Hung
Come on. Ray.
"Come on. Ray."
Hung
What kind of bed is this?
"What kind of bed is this?"
Hung
It's the pillow top.
"It's the pillow top."
Hung
Yeah.
"Yeah."
Hung
Oh, honey, baby, you are beautiful.
"Oh, honey, baby, you are beautiful."
Hung
- Oh, what a waste. - Yeah.
"- Oh, what a waste. - Yeah."
Hung
Oh, it is a waste, Ray.
"Oh, it is a waste, Ray."
Hung
Oh, God, I'm looking. I am seeing.
"Oh, God, I'm looking. I am seeing."
Hung
Shit, Ray.
"Shit, Ray."
Hung
My daughter baked these cookies.
"My daughter baked these cookies."
Hung
Same fruited wings
"Same fruited wings"
Hung
Same chip
"Same chip"
Hung
Oh, please, would you share it with us?
"Oh, please, would you share it with us?"
Hung
I can't compete with this shit.
"I can't compete with this shit."
Hung
Hey! Hey! Tanya!
"Hey! Hey! Tanya!"
Hung
Tanya. Tanya, what...?
"Tanya. Tanya, what...?"
Hung
- What is wrong with you? - It sucked. My poem sucks.
"- What is wrong with you? - It sucked. My poem sucks."
Hung
Maybe.
"Maybe."
Hung
I wrote that poem when I was 14.
"I wrote that poem when I was 14."
Hung
It sucked then, and it sucks now.
"It sucked then, and it sucks now."
Hung
We'll just catch a later one when you get here.
"We'll just catch a later one when you get here."
Hung
- All right. - I hope this isn't the part...
"- All right. - I hope this isn't the part..."
Hung
This is not the outfit I wanna be found dead in.
"This is not the outfit I wanna be found dead in."
Hung
- All right. - Why are we stopping?
"- All right. - Why are we stopping?"
Hung
Because we're here. Okay, open them.
"Because we're here. Okay, open them."
Hung
- This is it? - This is it.
"- This is it? - This is it."
Hung
- Is this your property? - This is my property, yeah.
"- Is this your property? - This is my property, yeah."
Hung
This is my lake. This is my yard. My house.
"This is my lake. This is my yard. My house."
Hung
And my tent.
"And my tent."
Hung
- Oh, why can't we just go in the house? - I don't live in a house. I live in a tent.
"- Oh, why can't we just go in the house? - I don't live in a house. I live in a tent."
Hung
Marcel Proust?
"Marcel Proust?"
Hung
Marcel Proust. Your tattoo.
"Marcel Proust. Your tattoo."
Hung
Oh, right. Yeah.
"Oh, right. Yeah."
Hung
An ugly man...
"An ugly man..."
Hung
...named Floyd.
"...named Floyd."
Hung
You're not ugly.
"You're not ugly."
Hung
You're not real, are you?
"You're not real, are you?"
Hung
I'm Pierce.
"I'm Pierce."
Hung
No Randall. No force-fed lines. No flat tires by the side of the road.
"No Randall. No force-fed lines. No flat tires by the side of the road."
Hung
... making out in my tent with the wind howling outside.
"... making out in my tent with the wind howling outside."
Hung
You're... You're unbelievable.
"You're... You're unbelievable."
Hung
It felt different this time. It felt real.
"It felt different this time. It felt real."
Hung
Which is why waking up next to that pile of cold hard cash...
"Which is why waking up next to that pile of cold hard cash..."
Hung
... felt like such a kick in the gut.
"... felt like such a kick in the gut."
Hung
Shit, Jemma.
"Shit, Jemma."
Hung
Thought we were past this.
"Thought we were past this."
Hung
Oh, my God.
"Oh, my God."
Hung
- Ray, what are you doing here? - Here. Here's your cut. Here.
"- Ray, what are you doing here? - Here. Here's your cut. Here."
Hung
She paid you directly again? Unbelievable.
"She paid you directly again? Unbelievable."
Hung
It just feels fantastic to be undermined at every turn.
"It just feels fantastic to be undermined at every turn."
Hung
Is it all here? You know, now's not a good time for company.
"Is it all here? You know, now's not a good time for company."
Hung
Look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for last night. I didn't even want this money.
"Look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for last night. I didn't even want this money."
Hung
I just...
"I just..."
Hung
- I don't think Jemma should be a client. - You wanna cut her off?
"- I don't think Jemma should be a client. - You wanna cut her off?"
Hung
No, I don't wanna cut her off. I just don't...
"No, I don't wanna cut her off. I just don't..."
Hung
- I don't want her to be a client. - What are you saying?
"- I don't want her to be a client. - What are you saying?"
Hung
I think...
"I think..."
Hung
- What? - I want her...
"- What? - I want her..."
Hung
- To be a girlfriend or something? - Hey, babe?
"- To be a girlfriend or something? - Hey, babe?"
Hung
- Can I use this eggplant? - You... Yeah.
"- Can I use this eggplant? - You... Yeah."
Hung
- What? - All I know...
"- What? - All I know..."
Hung
...is that there's something going on between us.
"...is that there's something going on between us."
Hung
- Something that... - Babe, eggplant?
"- Something that... - Babe, eggplant?"
Hung
It's fine. Just use it. You wanna explain something to me?
"It's fine. Just use it. You wanna explain something to me?"
Hung
Just how do you see this business venture of ours working?
"Just how do you see this business venture of ours working?"
Hung
You can't even launch a viral-marketing campaign without leaving a phone number.
"You can't even launch a viral-marketing campaign without leaving a phone number."
Hung
It's supposed to enter through the subconscious. If you have the answers...
"It's supposed to enter through the subconscious. If you have the answers..."
Hung