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Clips from Hung - Comedy (S01E01)

Videos 2009 Season 1, Episode 10 3 min 403 clips
Short Comedy

Episodes from this show

They were pudgy. It is not a good sign.
"They were pudgy. It is not a good sign."
Hung
- You afraid of flies? - What would you think if your house...
"- You afraid of flies? - What would you think if your house..."
Hung
Now... And there's all these flies.
"Now... And there's all these flies."
Hung
And now I just... I'm afraid you're gonna disappear on me too.
"And now I just... I'm afraid you're gonna disappear on me too."
Hung
You are not dead meat.
"You are not dead meat."
Hung
Oh, my God.
"Oh, my God."
Hung
...than they know what to do with.
"...than they know what to do with."
Hung
- How do you know that? - They tell me.
"- How do you know that? - They tell me."
Hung
Mrs. Eggloff?
"Mrs. Eggloff?"
Hung
See that woman over there?
"See that woman over there?"
Hung
I mean, what about Tanya?
"I mean, what about Tanya?"
Hung
The pimp job, it means a lot to her.
"The pimp job, it means a lot to her."
Hung
- Sure we can. This is capitalism. - How about we form a partnership?
"- Sure we can. This is capitalism. - How about we form a partnership?"
Hung
You're either with me or you're with her.
"You're either with me or you're with her."
Hung
Honey. You know, like from a beehive.
"Honey. You know, like from a beehive."
Hung
What? Who's they?
"What? Who's they?"
Hung
- I need some answers, man. - All right.
"- I need some answers, man. - All right."
Hung
Feels a little...
"Feels a little..."
Hung
It's just that once I get it...
"It's just that once I get it..."
Hung
...you need a professional.
"...you need a professional."
Hung
Why not? You deserve it.
"Why not? You deserve it."
Hung
I have boundaries and...
"I have boundaries and..."
Hung
Isn't it funny how both of us became doctors?
"Isn't it funny how both of us became doctors?"
Hung
Yeah.
"Yeah."
Hung
It's right there.
"It's right there."
Hung
So, what's the deal? Mike's paranoid he's on some kind of list.
"So, what's the deal? Mike's paranoid he's on some kind of list."
Hung
Are you gonna get fired?
"Are you gonna get fired?"
Hung
Fired? No.
"Fired? No."
Hung
It's a maybe.
"It's a maybe."
Hung
Somebody help me!
"Somebody help me!"
Hung
Oh, come on, we're in public.
"Oh, come on, we're in public."
Hung
Damon, what happened?
"Damon, what happened?"
Hung
Oh, you know, I have to tell you...
"Oh, you know, I have to tell you..."
Hung
That's great, Tanya. Can I talk to you about something?
"That's great, Tanya. Can I talk to you about something?"
Hung
Sure, what's up?
"Sure, what's up?"
Hung
It's about Happiness Consultants.
"It's about Happiness Consultants."
Hung
- Why did Powell leave? - I have no idea.
"- Why did Powell leave? - I have no idea."
Hung
But...
"But..."
Hung
I am not a sad sack. Will you stop insulting me?
"I am not a sad sack. Will you stop insulting me?"
Hung
At first I thought it was a horrible idea. Then I came around to it.
"At first I thought it was a horrible idea. Then I came around to it."
Hung
What?
"What?"
Hung
Yeah, he wanted to tell you himself, but I thought I'd beat him to the punch.
"Yeah, he wanted to tell you himself, but I thought I'd beat him to the punch."
Hung
Wait, Ray told you that I would give you half my business?
"Wait, Ray told you that I would give you half my business?"
Hung
Absolutely not.
"Absolutely not."
Hung
You, Tanya, bring a strong sense of ethics.
"You, Tanya, bring a strong sense of ethics."
Hung
We can be like the Three Musketeers.
"We can be like the Three Musketeers."
Hung
Lenore, Ray is my prostitute!
"Lenore, Ray is my prostitute!"
Hung
Look, Tanya, it's never gonna work out for you and Ray alone.
"Look, Tanya, it's never gonna work out for you and Ray alone."
Hung
...or no Ray. Got it?
"...or no Ray. Got it?"
Hung
Fuck you!
"Fuck you!"
Hung
I wanted to stay married, but my wife ran off.
"I wanted to stay married, but my wife ran off."
Hung
- Some things go easy for you. - Like what?
"- Some things go easy for you. - Like what?"
Hung
I'd heard you found honey in your house and I was wondering, could you...
"I'd heard you found honey in your house and I was wondering, could you..."
Hung
Oh, shit.
"Oh, shit."
Hung
Oh, shit, Ray.
"Oh, shit, Ray."
Hung
Oh, shit, Ray!
"Oh, shit, Ray!"
Hung
Fuck you, Ray! Fuck you! Goddamn it!
"Fuck you, Ray! Fuck you! Goddamn it!"
Hung
What am I to you?
"What am I to you?"
Hung
I thought you didn't like chain restaurants.
"I thought you didn't like chain restaurants."
Hung
Yeah, I see.
"Yeah, I see."
Hung
Men suck sometimes.
"Men suck sometimes."
Hung
Just do your thing.
"Just do your thing."
Hung
... laughing her head off.
"... laughing her head off."
Hung
I'm fine, Ray.
"I'm fine, Ray."
Hung
...this really isn't the time. - I'm not calling about the kids, Jess.
"...this really isn't the time. - I'm not calling about the kids, Jess."
Hung
I think you're a good mom.
"I think you're a good mom."
Hung
And I...
"And I..."
Hung
Why are you saying all this, Ray?
"Why are you saying all this, Ray?"
Hung
I don't know.
"I don't know."
Hung
I'm here.
"I'm here."
Hung
It wasn't always the case, you know?
"It wasn't always the case, you know?"
Hung
No.
"No."
Hung
You tell your mom...
"You tell your mom..."
Hung
Now, well...
"Now, well..."
Hung
Ray, you awake?
"Ray, you awake?"
Hung
Ray, are you there? Are you asleep?
"Ray, are you there? Are you asleep?"
Hung
Ray?
"Ray?"
Hung
Ray... Oh!
"Ray... Oh!"
Hung
Ray! Ray, my apartment is infested with flies.
"Ray! Ray, my apartment is infested with flies."
Hung
- What? - Ray, six fat, big ones.
"- What? - Ray, six fat, big ones."
Hung
...which previously had no flies was suddenly filled with flies?
"...which previously had no flies was suddenly filled with flies?"
Hung
I would think I had a dead rat under the floorboards.
"I would think I had a dead rat under the floorboards."
Hung
That's not helpful. No. The universe is definitely...
"That's not helpful. No. The universe is definitely..."
Hung
- It's trying to tell me something. - Like what?
"- It's trying to tell me something. - Like what?"
Hung
Like I'm dead meat, Ray.
"Like I'm dead meat, Ray."
Hung
- Do you know what I mean? - No.
"- Do you know what I mean? - No."
Hung
Dead meat. Like stick a fork in me, I'm done.
"Dead meat. Like stick a fork in me, I'm done."
Hung
Like, my boyfriend's disappeared somewhere in Cuba.
"Like, my boyfriend's disappeared somewhere in Cuba."
Hung
Is that true?
"Is that true?"
Hung
I'm not going anywhere.
"I'm not going anywhere."
Hung
I'm still your pimp? I'm not dead meat?
"I'm still your pimp? I'm not dead meat?"
Hung
Look around. Most of these women have more money...
"Look around. Most of these women have more money..."
Hung
And their husbands are either too old or too busy to get erections.
"And their husbands are either too old or too busy to get erections."
Hung
- Ready to order, Mrs. Eggloff? - Not yet, doll.
"- Ready to order, Mrs. Eggloff? - Not yet, doll."
Hung
Oh, that's my maiden name.
"Oh, that's my maiden name."
Hung
Oh, you were married?
"Oh, you were married?"
Hung
No.
"No."
Hung
That is a very horny lady.
"That is a very horny lady."
Hung
In particular.
"In particular."
Hung
Her tip alone would be extremely generous.
"Her tip alone would be extremely generous."
Hung
- Do you want a date with her on Friday? - L...
"- Do you want a date with her on Friday? - L..."
Hung
What about Tanya?
"What about Tanya?"
Hung
Well, winning Miss Michigan meant a lot to me...
"Well, winning Miss Michigan meant a lot to me..."
Hung
...but I had to realize that wasn't my destiny.
"...but I had to realize that wasn't my destiny."
Hung
God, you're so loyal, Ray. You're like a golden retriever.
"God, you're so loyal, Ray. You're like a golden retriever."
Hung
Look, I know you think Tanya's minor leagues...
"Look, I know you think Tanya's minor leagues..."
Hung
...but, okay, she has some flaws.
"...but, okay, she has some flaws."
Hung
But we can't just cut her loose.
"But we can't just cut her loose."
Hung
- You know, like a team. - Tanya dilutes the franchise.
"- You know, like a team. - Tanya dilutes the franchise."
Hung
It's time to choose.
"It's time to choose."
Hung
I tried to just focus on the house.
"I tried to just focus on the house."
Hung
And I almost had the whole place ready to get rewired.
"And I almost had the whole place ready to get rewired."
Hung
And then...
"And then..."
Hung
Honey.
"Honey."
Hung
Who knows where the bees went?
"Who knows where the bees went?"
Hung
I felt like the butt of a cosmic joke.
"I felt like the butt of a cosmic joke."
Hung
Hey, Mike.
"Hey, Mike."
Hung
You ever hear about people getting honey in their walls?
"You ever hear about people getting honey in their walls?"
Hung
I don't know what you're talking about, man.
"I don't know what you're talking about, man."
Hung
- No, Ray. I'm worried about the list. - What list?
"- No, Ray. I'm worried about the list. - What list?"
Hung