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Clips from Hung - Comedy (S01E01)

Videos 2009 Season 1, Episode 5 3 min 401 clips
Short Comedy
I don't always stick him on the bench.
"I don't always stick him on the bench."
Hung
And he's got the quality to start. He was a JV powerhouse.
"And he's got the quality to start. He was a JV powerhouse."
Hung
No fun to be changing a tire out in the rain, right?
"No fun to be changing a tire out in the rain, right?"
Hung
Yeah, there probably is.
"Yeah, there probably is."
Hung
What? You know what this is?
"What? You know what this is?"
Hung
...and then you pretend there's a hair in the food.
"...and then you pretend there's a hair in the food."
Hung
Can't hit a home run every time.
"Can't hit a home run every time."
Hung
...of really bad relationships. - So?
"...of really bad relationships. - So?"
Hung
...and what she wanted was more of a female fantasy.
"...and what she wanted was more of a female fantasy."
Hung
Next time, make her feel like it's about her mind...
"Next time, make her feel like it's about her mind..."
Hung
She wants to book me again?
"She wants to book me again?"
Hung
Not really.
"Not really."
Hung
- Randall. - Randall.
"- Randall. - Randall."
Hung
- I'm gonna guess a career. - Yeah, that's right, a career.
"- I'm gonna guess a career. - Yeah, that's right, a career."
Hung
I'm a book editor.
"I'm a book editor."
Hung
Really? I was a comparative-lit. Major.
"Really? I was a comparative-lit. Major."
Hung
Good books.
"Good books."
Hung
I really admire people like you.
"I really admire people like you."
Hung
I'm a total sellout.
"I'm a total sellout."
Hung
I work for an ad department.
"I work for an ad department."
Hung
Thank you.
"Thank you."
Hung
- A boyfriend? - Yeah.
"- A boyfriend? - Yeah."
Hung
It was so great to meet you.
"It was so great to meet you."
Hung
She said she has a boyfriend.
"She said she has a boyfriend."
Hung
She has a bruised heart. That's what she said in the interview.
"She has a bruised heart. That's what she said in the interview."
Hung
- Men let her down. - Women let me down.
"- Men let her down. - Women let me down."
Hung
But my guess is, she was looking for a connection...
"But my guess is, she was looking for a connection..."
Hung
She paid great.
"She paid great."
Hung
What's wrong with a delicious buffet?
"What's wrong with a delicious buffet?"
Hung
That's not crab.
"That's not crab."
Hung
It's imitation crab.
"It's imitation crab."
Hung
It's cleaner and healthier.
"It's cleaner and healthier."
Hung
- Safer for the environment. - Is the shrimp real?
"- Safer for the environment. - Is the shrimp real?"
Hung
- Here. Just eat it. You'll like it. - Mom, even the hush puppies suck.
"- Here. Just eat it. You'll like it. - Mom, even the hush puppies suck."
Hung
- Something wrong? - Nothing, Ron.
"- Something wrong? - Nothing, Ron."
Hung
Here's the thing, kids. We're not made of money anymore.
"Here's the thing, kids. We're not made of money anymore."
Hung
Point is, we don't feel as rich. Not super rich like before.
"Point is, we don't feel as rich. Not super rich like before."
Hung
Which brings us to the car.
"Which brings us to the car."
Hung
... or benefit from her misfortune, but I had a little extra money for once.
"... or benefit from her misfortune, but I had a little extra money for once."
Hung
Not a whole lot, but enough to hire a couple of guys to help me out...
"Not a whole lot, but enough to hire a couple of guys to help me out..."
Hung
Twenty bucks each, and I didn't give a crap. Damn straight.
"Twenty bucks each, and I didn't give a crap. Damn straight."
Hung
- All right, Damon. - Thank you.
"- All right, Damon. - Thank you."
Hung
So...
"So..."
Hung
Who would have guessed?
"Who would have guessed?"
Hung
When the kids brought up the car...
"When the kids brought up the car..."
Hung
If she doesn't love it next time, I'll do her for free.
"If she doesn't love it next time, I'll do her for free."
Hung
Well, it certainly is generous of Tanya...
"Well, it certainly is generous of Tanya..."
Hung
Does anyone else have a final prototype they'd like to share?
"Does anyone else have a final prototype they'd like to share?"
Hung
...perhaps some of you are ready for the next step.
"...perhaps some of you are ready for the next step."
Hung
That's right. If you are ready to believe in yourself...
"That's right. If you are ready to believe in yourself..."
Hung
Now, who's ready to take that step?
"Now, who's ready to take that step?"
Hung
...for as long as I have, Tanya, nothing is surprising.
"...for as long as I have, Tanya, nothing is surprising."
Hung
They can't get a fancy car like I have...
"They can't get a fancy car like I have..."
Hung
I think most people wanted to take part two...
"I think most people wanted to take part two..."
Hung
What makes you so different, Tanya Skagle?
"What makes you so different, Tanya Skagle?"
Hung
Yeah, I recommend you go ahead and secure your space.
"Yeah, I recommend you go ahead and secure your space."
Hung
Sometimes part two in particular can fill up like a flash flood.
"Sometimes part two in particular can fill up like a flash flood."
Hung
Well, I wanna sign up, it's just the class isn't cheap, right?
"Well, I wanna sign up, it's just the class isn't cheap, right?"
Hung
...you can lead a horse to water, that sort of thing.
"...you can lead a horse to water, that sort of thing."
Hung
I should go meet him.
"I should go meet him."
Hung
No, he gets cranky if I'm late.
"No, he gets cranky if I'm late."
Hung
We would have fun.
"We would have fun."
Hung
But, Randall, I have a boyfriend.
"But, Randall, I have a boyfriend."
Hung
...he'd be stabbing his heart with a knife.
"...he'd be stabbing his heart with a knife."
Hung
Oh, Doris.
"Oh, Doris."
Hung
Last call for strawberries.
"Last call for strawberries."
Hung
Oh, no thanks. All yours.
"Oh, no thanks. All yours."
Hung
- Like how? - Well...
"- Like how? - Well..."
Hung
That's so nice.
"That's so nice."
Hung
You know...
"You know..."
Hung
Well...
"Well..."
Hung
I love you.
"I love you."
Hung
Then why don't I believe you?
"Then why don't I believe you?"
Hung
Look, I just can't help but wonder...
"Look, I just can't help but wonder..."
Hung
Okay, that didn't go so well.
"Okay, that didn't go so well."
Hung
What do you think? What should we do?
"What do you think? What should we do?"
Hung
We don't wanna see her with all those drugs and tubes, do we?
"We don't wanna see her with all those drugs and tubes, do we?"
Hung
No, we don't.
"No, we don't."
Hung
But, Ron...
"But, Ron..."
Hung
...and I really, really think it's because of Doris.
"...and I really, really think it's because of Doris."
Hung
We're gonna do the right thing, Jess.
"We're gonna do the right thing, Jess."
Hung
Would you not be so paranoid?
"Would you not be so paranoid?"
Hung
- She paid me? - Yeah, she didn't wanna stiff you.
"- She paid me? - Yeah, she didn't wanna stiff you."
Hung
Bummer, right? She would have made a great repeat customer.
"Bummer, right? She would have made a great repeat customer."
Hung
See? She threw me off my game.
"See? She threw me off my game."
Hung
I really think this is gonna help me with my leadership skills.
"I really think this is gonna help me with my leadership skills."
Hung
- Okay. - Lf possible.
"- Okay. - Lf possible."
Hung
I'm perfectly fine.
"I'm perfectly fine."
Hung
I'll sit for a moment.
"I'll sit for a moment."
Hung
No, thank you, on the tea.
"No, thank you, on the tea."
Hung
All right, what you might be sensing, Tanya...
"All right, what you might be sensing, Tanya..."
Hung
I'm not looking for anything serious. I'm a bachelor.
"I'm not looking for anything serious. I'm a bachelor."
Hung
Now, we can be friends, sure, but I cannot muddy the water.
"Now, we can be friends, sure, but I cannot muddy the water."
Hung
- I'm sorry. - My God, you're 100 years old.
"- I'm sorry. - My God, you're 100 years old."
Hung
- You're just not my type. I can't help that. - Fuck you!
"- You're just not my type. I can't help that. - Fuck you!"
Hung
- Get out! Fuck you! - This is not productive.
"- Get out! Fuck you! - This is not productive."
Hung
And we did a brave thing.
"And we did a brave thing."
Hung
And the least expensive thing.
"And the least expensive thing."
Hung
Maybe it's the economy.
"Maybe it's the economy."
Hung
Sweetheart, don't call me so late if you're not in the hospital.
"Sweetheart, don't call me so late if you're not in the hospital."
Hung
This is Ray. I lost my old phone in the fire...
"This is Ray. I lost my old phone in the fire..."
Hung
... so make sure and leave your number.
"... so make sure and leave your number."
Hung
Ray? Where are you?
"Ray? Where are you?"
Hung
She didn't even know I called you.
"She didn't even know I called you."
Hung
The money.
"The money."
Hung
Hey, I'm just being honest.
"Hey, I'm just being honest."
Hung
That's supposed to inspire me?
"That's supposed to inspire me?"
Hung
You're my first out.
"You're my first out."
Hung
That's why they call me a happiness consultant.
"That's why they call me a happiness consultant."
Hung
How's he gonna improve when you always stick him on the bench?
"How's he gonna improve when you always stick him on the bench?"
Hung
Not once have you made him a starting player.
"Not once have you made him a starting player."
Hung
This isn't JV. No offense, ma'am, but Lamar is a sophomore.
"This isn't JV. No offense, ma'am, but Lamar is a sophomore."
Hung
I think he's got a great shot, but...
"I think he's got a great shot, but..."
Hung
His brother was the same way. You didn't want him to start...
"His brother was the same way. You didn't want him to start..."
Hung
- Lf he hadn't broken his leg... - Excuse me...
"- Lf he hadn't broken his leg... - Excuse me..."
Hung
...but we're gonna have to continue this conversation later.
"...but we're gonna have to continue this conversation later."
Hung
Thanks for your interest.
"Thanks for your interest."
Hung
Need some help?
"Need some help?"
Hung
No, not really. I know how to do it. Thanks, though.
"No, not really. I know how to do it. Thanks, though."
Hung
I mean...
"I mean..."
Hung