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Clips from The Muppet Show - Zero Mostel (S02E02)

TV Specials 1976 Season 2, Episode 2 32 min ★ 8.0/10 (6,921 ratings) 362 clips
Family Comedy Music

Episodes from this show

Hey, Fozzie, where's Mr. Mostel?
"Hey, Fozzie, where's Mr. Mostel?"
The Muppet Show
...and in the wings, uh,
"...and in the wings, uh,"
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- [applause] - [Fozzie] Psst! Psst!
"- [applause] - [Fozzie] Psst! Psst!"
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Read that. Good luck, kid.
"Read that. Good luck, kid."
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[♪ funk version of Chopin: Polonaise in A-Flat ]
"[♪ funk version of Chopin: Polonaise in A-Flat ]"
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Yeah! Yeah!
"Yeah! Yeah!"
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OK! Cookin', cookin'!
"OK! Cookin', cookin'!"
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[chuckling] You know, I'm really gonna enjoy tonight.
"[chuckling] You know, I'm really gonna enjoy tonight."
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...don't forget today is payday.
"...don't forget today is payday."
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the bloodless old tightwad who owns this theater.
"the bloodless old tightwad who owns this theater."
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A dog act? Jugglers? Spoon players? What?
"A dog act? Jugglers? Spoon players? What?"
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[applause]
"[applause]"
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[barking]
"[barking]"
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- Wonderful. - Terrific film.
"- Wonderful. - Terrific film."
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- Hey, would you get the door? - [growls]
"- Hey, would you get the door? - [growls]"
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I say, would you get the door? Get the door.
"I say, would you get the door? Get the door."
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How was your tennis game today? Have a rough match?
"How was your tennis game today? Have a rough match?"
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- How's your backhand? - Uh, fair.
"- How's your backhand? - Uh, fair."
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That was not cultural.
"That was not cultural."
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Let's see. We got...
"Let's see. We got..."
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...with Zoot and Rowlf. And then of course we've got...
"...with Zoot and Rowlf. And then of course we've got..."
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tend to attract steel, uh, rabbits.
"tend to attract steel, uh, rabbits."
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Well, it's been a pleasure...
"Well, it's been a pleasure..."
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You see, I'm Granny the Gouger and I'd like to audition.
"You see, I'm Granny the Gouger and I'd like to audition."
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You're going to be old yourself someday.
"You're going to be old yourself someday."
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you're going to be sorry you weren't nicer to Granny.
"you're going to be sorry you weren't nicer to Granny."
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I think I'm sorry already.
"I think I'm sorry already."
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[coughing]
"[coughing]"
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And they go
"And they go"
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But though they are gone they are never far
"But though they are gone they are never far"
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...I can confront them
"...I can confront them"
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Fear of dentists always drilling
"Fear of dentists always drilling"
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An irrational black terror that someday I may get fat
"An irrational black terror that someday I may get fat"
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It'll come yours... and mine'll
"It'll come yours... and mine'll"
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- with tremendous strength... - Yes.
"- with tremendous strength... - Yes."
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Hiyah!
"Hiyah!"
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[chuckling]
"[chuckling]"
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Zero Mostel, 25 seconds. Stand by.
"Zero Mostel, 25 seconds. Stand by."
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Mr. Mostel?
"Mr. Mostel?"
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He's in his dressing room eating.
"He's in his dressing room eating."
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I'm in my dressing room being eaten!
"I'm in my dressing room being eaten!"
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[munching and gulping]
"[munching and gulping]"
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[drumroll]
"[drumroll]"
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It's The Muppet Show
"It's The Muppet Show"
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with our very special guest star, Mr. Zero Mostel.
"with our very special guest star, Mr. Zero Mostel."
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[applause and whistles]
"[applause and whistles]"
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♪ It's time to play the music It's time to light the light ♪
"♪ It's time to play the music It's time to light the light ♪"
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♪ It's time to meet the Muppets on The Muppet Show tonight ♪
"♪ It's time to meet the Muppets on The Muppet Show tonight ♪"
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♪ It's time to put on makeup It's time to dress up right ♪
"♪ It's time to put on makeup It's time to dress up right ♪"
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♪ It's time to get things started ♪
"♪ It's time to get things started ♪"
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Oh, please let them be funny this once.
"Oh, please let them be funny this once."
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♪ It's time to get things started ♪
"♪ It's time to get things started ♪"
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♪ On the most sensational Inspirational ♪
"♪ On the most sensational Inspirational ♪"
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♪ Celebrational Muppetational ♪
"♪ Celebrational Muppetational ♪"
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♪ This is what we call The Muppet Show! ♪
"♪ This is what we call The Muppet Show! ♪"
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[high-pitched squeaking]
"[high-pitched squeaking]"
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Thank you, thank you.
"Thank you, thank you."
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Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,"
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and welcome to The Muppet Show.
"and welcome to The Muppet Show."
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Tonight's special guest star has many, many talents.
"Tonight's special guest star has many, many talents."
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Let's see... He acts, he sings, he dances, he does comedy,
"Let's see... He acts, he sings, he dances, he does comedy,"
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and they all add up to a great big zero for Zero Mostel.
"and they all add up to a great big zero for Zero Mostel."
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But first, in an attempt to placate the culture lovers of our audience...
"But first, in an attempt to placate the culture lovers of our audience..."
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Oh, at last, at last!
"Oh, at last, at last!"
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we open tonight's show with a little classical music.
"we open tonight's show with a little classical music."
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Here is Chopin's Polonaise in A-Flat.
"Here is Chopin's Polonaise in A-Flat."
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Kermit, Kermit, the concert pianist could not make it.
"Kermit, Kermit, the concert pianist could not make it."
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But I just introduced the Polonaise.
"But I just introduced the Polonaise."
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Here. I got a whole new intro written.
"Here. I got a whole new intro written."
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Let's see, uh... Oh.
"Let's see, uh... Oh."
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as performed by... Dr. Teeth?
"as performed by... Dr. Teeth?"
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What?
"What?"
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Yeah, yeah!
"Yeah, yeah!"
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Honk it, honk it!
"Honk it, honk it!"
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Yeah!
"Yeah!"
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Chopin!
"Chopin!"
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Chopin!
"Chopin!"
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- Oh, yeah! - Chopin! Chopin!
"- Oh, yeah! - Chopin! Chopin!"
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You plan to like this show?
"You plan to like this show?"
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No, I plan to watch television.
"No, I plan to watch television."
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OK, good ol' Chopin. You can't beat the classics.
"OK, good ol' Chopin. You can't beat the classics."
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You can only destroy 'em.
"You can only destroy 'em."
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- Hey, frogis amphibious... - Yeah?
"- Hey, frogis amphibious... - Yeah?"
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[growls] Payday! Payday!
"[growls] Payday! Payday!"
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Payday, again? It was payday last year.
"Payday, again? It was payday last year."
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It seems to be getting to be a habit around here.
"It seems to be getting to be a habit around here."
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Well, I'll see what's in the old cash box here.
"Well, I'll see what's in the old cash box here."
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Three moths and a washer.
"Three moths and a washer."
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Well, that's more than we usually have.
"Well, that's more than we usually have."
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Oh, how much do you need, Kermit?
"Oh, how much do you need, Kermit?"
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Oh, Scooter, 27 dollars and 14 cents.
"Oh, Scooter, 27 dollars and 14 cents."
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- Wow! That's high finance. - [telephone ringing]
"- Wow! That's high finance. - [telephone ringing]"
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I'll get it.
"I'll get it."
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Hello? Oh, hi, Uncle J.P.
"Hello? Oh, hi, Uncle J.P."
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That's Scooter's uncle, J.P. Grosse,
"That's Scooter's uncle, J.P. Grosse,"
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Yeah, yeah. Well, listen, uh...
"Yeah, yeah. Well, listen, uh..."
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Could you put your cigar out, please?
"Could you put your cigar out, please?"
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Thanks. Oh, everything's fine.
"Thanks. Oh, everything's fine."
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Yeah, except Kermit needs some money to make the payroll.
"Yeah, except Kermit needs some money to make the payroll."
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Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
"Uh-huh. Uh-huh."
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Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
"Uh-huh. Uh-huh."
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- He said, "Uh-huh." - Terrific.
"- He said, "Uh-huh." - Terrific."
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- If... - Uh, if what?
"- If... - Uh, if what?"
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If you put some good old-fashioned entertainment
"If you put some good old-fashioned entertainment"
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back into the show.
"back into the show."
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- You mean like an Irish tenor? - No.
"- You mean like an Irish tenor? - No."
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Lady wrestlers.
"Lady wrestlers."
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Terrific. I was afraid he wanted something tasteless.
"Terrific. I was afraid he wanted something tasteless."
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[fanfare plays]
"[fanfare plays]"
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OK, now it's time for our special guest
"OK, now it's time for our special guest"
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to do something special.
"to do something special."
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Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Zero Mostel.
"Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Zero Mostel."
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[♪ What Do the Simple Folk Do?]
"[♪ What Do the Simple Folk Do?]"
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[singing opera]
"[singing opera]"
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[howling]
"[howling]"
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[screeching]
"[screeching]"
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[♪ What Do the Simple Folk Do?]
"[♪ What Do the Simple Folk Do?]"
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- [slurps] - [applause]
"- [slurps] - [applause]"
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Yeah, what's the name of this movie?
"Yeah, what's the name of this movie?"
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Beach Blanket Frankenstein.
"Beach Blanket Frankenstein."
The Muppet Show